(1) Beginner

When life is good, it’s easy to do great with girls. But when the road gets bumpy, how do you keep your momentum up in dating – instead of let it fall?

Hey guys and welcome back.

Today, I want to talk about macro-momentum. I know it’s a fancy word, but its definition is simple and likely concerns you. Macro-momentum is how well you are doing over an expected period, usually depending on your life, emotional situation, and overall results in field.

You have probably noticed that during pickup and seduction, there are times when you have plenty of results and all is going perfectly. The girls like you; it is easy to open and hook; you are confident in your skills. Seduction feels simple—you are excited about the entire process. We call this high macro-momentum or simply high momentum. Your success from previous nights will spill over into the next, continuing until the pendulum swings the other way.

Then, there are times when things don’t go so well. You have off-periods, or what we call low macro-momentum or low momentum. You are struggling and not getting many, if any, results. Everything you try feels like work; hooking is challenging, and women do not seem to respond well to your approach. You have to work much harder for results.

And just like that, your mojo is gone; you lose motivation.

The pendulum eventually swings back into high momentum. It continues to go back and forth. It’s the nature of the game. The sooner you accept it, the better.

Not every approach to night game needs to be hyper. There are chill ways to approach girls at night too – like “Quiet Sniper” and “The Classic Approach.”

Hi guys and welcome back.

Today, I would like to discuss alternative openings in night game. Recently, I have focused on high-energy approaches. I covered an opening and hook strategy about attention grabs. These can trigger a response from girls to test their compliance before you open.

This approach requires you to be in a social mood and have high energy. It may also help if you are naturally extroverted.

But what if you are not extroverted? What if you are but do not feel like being overly social, playful, and energetic? Even outgoing guys can be socially tired and need time to cool off.

If you have experience, you may know this, but certain forms of night game are often the first choice for introverted men. Some of the best night gamers are introverted, even our own Cody Lyans, who is inactive right now.

Women do not think the way guys think they do. In fact, they misunderstand men a lot. Get how girls think, then leading & loving them grows far easier.

It’s 8:15 AM Tuesday morning and Aria is swiftly walking down a busy city sidewalk. Everyone bustling around her, like her, is in business attire, all making their ways, like her, to work.

Suddenly her eyes shift reflexively to the side, settling on the eyes of a staring man walking her direction on the sidewalk. Aria doesn’t even take a moment to take the man in; she instantly breaks eye contact to the side just as soon as she’s made it.

“Oh God, way too early for that,” she thinks. The last thing she needs is a random guy chatting her up before she’s even had her first cup of coffee for the day!

Fortunately, the man passes her by without an approach. Aria knows that most guys who look only ever look. But you never know for sure when one of the guys who’s looking will take you looking back as an invitation to approach. Right now she isn’t in the mood to meet new people.

As she approaches a crosswalk, she slows down to join the mass of morning commuters waiting for the “WALK” sign to appear. Stopping behind a small crowd of people, she notices a man slightly ahead of her nodding his head to some song only he can hear. Curious, she cranes her neck a bit to see the side of his face. He looks normal… not super cute or anything. But the relaxed, confident expression on his face makes him stand out from the sea of tired businesspeople all around.

Aria brushes her hair back, staring at the nodding man, half trying to get him to notice her. He’s off in his own world and doesn’t seem to detect her. “He looks so cute listening to his music,” she thinks to herself. “I wonder what makes him so different from everyone else!”

She tries brushing her hair back a second time while staring at him, but he still doesn’t notice. The “WALK” sign comes on, the crowd crosses the street, and the nodding man turns off another direction from the one Aria’s traveling in.

“There he goes,” Aria thinks, a slight longing in her breast. “I wonder if he walks this way every day?” Briefly as she walks, she imagines meeting him on her way to work tomorrow and ending up in an accidental chitchat with him. Inside her imagination, they talk, laugh, and in the easy conversation it turns out they have a surprising amount in common.

Dating advice from both the mainstream and the red pill is filled with low quality claptrap. How do you filter out the good stuff and ignore distraction?

Commenting on my recent article on good game vs. getting lucky, a reader asks:

Chase,

With dating being harder, what more can guys learning this stuff do differently now than before?

What would count as working harder today compared to when dating was easier?

For example: Let’s say in the past you’d say we’d have to approach 20 women a week, today would we have to talk to 40? For being in-shape, before we’d only have to be slim, but today we need to be muscular?

What exactly should we be striving for now compared to your earlier advice?

What are the basics to do well in the complex dating market today?

Thanks

The same reader commented again to ask:

Chase,

I wanted to add and ask, how much money is involved in this dating complexity thing?

I remember you saying after some point it’s pretty much going to be impossible to get women after a certain point as things reach its peak.

If I quoted wrong let me know. But of course reading that is extremely depressing even if you’re really good with women because imagining dating being that much harder is still a pretty depressing thing.

Anyway, in my mind, it seems that LMS and game are going to be a big part of making things impossible.

I’m wondering though because I know on here that you focus on game a lot more than lms, but it seems that lms would make dating harder like other people online have said.

So how important is lms when it comes to this whole dating complexity thing?

Is there any way to make the Impossible possible and still do good in a very hard dating market and not dropout?

I don’t really like the whole idea of being hopeless.

Thanks

He’s referring to my article on growing complexity in the mating market and its effect (present and future) on people’s mating success.

I’m not going to address our commenter’s question here, at least not directly. The direct answer is, “Do better at everything taught on this site.” Instead I want to focus on something else in his comment: its total obliviousness to what’s taught on this site and fixation on stuff that doesn’t really help you with girls.

Thoughts like the commenter’s are common – but also point to a profound misunderstanding of romantic attraction. Our commenter zeroes in on factors that have minimal impact on actual romantic success and worries he’ll need to compete even harder at these same things so many other guys are also competing on.

I’ve extensively debunked the role of big muscles in getting laid. GUYS like big, huge, steroid muscles. They are wowed by them. They’re intimidated and awed by men with colossal, bulging biceps. Women don’t like these kinds of muscles. They vastly prefer men with slimmer, athletic, natural physiques. There are actually more women attracted to ‘skinny-fat’ men (6.3% of women like this look) than there are attracted to veiny, bulging, steroid muscle men (2.1% of women find this look attractive).

Money is every bit the same as this. Go to any singles event in San Francisco. You will find loads and loads of men pulling down 7-10x+ the average national salary, and these guys can’t get dates. Many guys work hard to get rich, thinking that wealth will bring them babes, only to discover once they get there that rich guys still struggle to get girls. There are ways to use money to get laid, but these ways are not intuitive, and most guys with money never try them. They end up dating girls who are… well, just look at the girls the rich guys you know are dating. They’re rarely models.

All this goes back to the fundamental problem in dating advice: it’s huge, colossal, GARGANTUAN signal-to-noise ratio problem.

Most women feel trapped in drudgery as they go through life. Yet via seductive speech & imagery, you can draw them into a pleasurable vacation they won’t want to leave.

For most girls, life is not too exciting.

Those who live exciting lives struggle with stress. It accumulates whether it’s work, family drama, friend drama, health problems, money problems, or a lack of time to do everything they want.

Girls, like everyone else, don’t like stress. But what do they do about it?

Some drink, some smoke, some party and dance, some watch movies, some eat, and some read. All these solutions share the same idea: chase pleasure to distract from stress and pain.

Now, let’s ask a question: why do girls date men? What attracts them to men?

I’m not asking about whether it’s your game, looks, height, or whatever you think that women like (it’s all those things and more, by the way). What I’m asking is, if you had to pick ONE thing that motivates women to date men, what would it be?

The answer is the same as: “Why do you date women?”

For pleasure.

Spam approachers – guys who go out to ‘shoot their shot’ and ‘get lucky’ – have a very different approach from guys with good, serious game. But what’s the difference?

One of our forum members, Spyce D, mentioned several acquaintances of his whose success comes off the back of what we’d call ‘spam approaching’:

Question : What do you think is more important in daygame - Numbers game or skill ?

I know a few folks who have been going out for years but they still have to do lot approaches , spam approaches (10+ / hour) and then they would get results , if they do.

No doubt , They are getting results but they are also doing ton of approaches a day that too 4-5 times per week + supplementing with nightgame and online .

And there are folks who played the numbers game but couldn't get any results and then left daygame for years only to return after they took coaching .

Hence the question .

Now, when you’re chatting up 10+ girls/hour, in particular during day game, then yes, that is spam approaching. An experienced seducer who is out to approach until he picks up may make 4 to 6 approaches an hour in day game, assuming he is having a few substantial interactions in there, and also not approaching every single woman he sees (i.e., that he is not spam approaching). That’s about the maximum.

A more ordinary man who is out trying to approach during the day (or a skilled seducer who is not gunning hard for a same day lay) will likely make 1 or 2 approaches per hour.

Let’s have a look real quick at what the difference is between guys who get lucky through sheer volume, versus guys who use good game to get success with women.