(1) Beginner

It’s easier to have a successful night out with girls when you plan for it. The keys to successful night out planning: triangulation, transit time, & more.

Hi everyone.

Today, I'll discuss night game logistics and share a strategy for an optimal night out. In the past, I've covered similar topics, such as preparing your place for pulls, and provided checklists before heading out at night, see Logistics Checklist: What to Prepare for Good Seductions

In this article, I'll continue along those lines. I'll go through the steps for planning your night out. When you combine the content in this article with the checklist at the link above, you have your night planned to a T. Everything should go more smoothly. Logistics can make or break a seduction. Good logistics will help; bad logistics will ruin you. It is your duty, I repeat, DUTY, to do all you can to take care of logistics.

You cannot prepare for every aspect of logistics and foresee all logistical hoops. Yes, poor logistics happen, and often they are beyond your control (examples: your favorite venue is dead, your girl lives far away, various wildcards, and more). What you can do, however, is do your best to ensure that you take care of what you can control and prepare for the rest.

The good news is that logistics is one of the easiest factors to fix, and you can implement many measures to ensure your night goes smoothly.

It's one aspect of the game that does not require practice. Just read about how to handle logistics and implement the measures. (You don't need to "practice" to ensure your flat is clean.) That said, experience helps because you may not care about logistics until you lose a good lead (a tough lesson to learn!) And experience helps when you must use logistical thinking to handle difficult and unpredictable situations. However, the latter becomes easier when everything you can control will be in check. And this is what we will cover today.

If a girl is DTF, can you put her off for now and sleep with her later? No, sorry… because when a girl’s DTF, it doesn’t last; she won’t stay DTF forever.

Bit of a public service announcement here, because I see a looot of new guys make this rookie mistake:

When a girl is DTF (down to fuck), she is only that way on a temporary basis. DTF is a fleeting emotion – once it’s gone, it’s gone, and often it will not come back.

Even if you’re a pro with girls today, I have no doubt you have memories of girls who were hot, horny, and ready to go, only for you to put off bedding them because, “I’ll just lay her later.” Except later never came… for when you tried to bed her the NEXT time, she wasn’t in the mood and you couldn’t get her back in it.

The fleeting nature of women’s DTF state is something guys need some time to fully comprehend. That’s because as men, we don’t work that way. If I’d be down to fuck a girl today, I’m still going to be down to fuck the same girl tomorrow, and probably next week (and next month… heck, maybe even next year!) as well.

Not so with women.

Understanding this difference between males and females is essential if you don’t want to bypass opportunities to sleep with sexy girls that you will miss if you fail to grasp it.

Who holds more power in a romantic relationship? The one who’s still pursuing goals and dreams outside of it, scientific studies show.

In another study that surprises absolutely no one, researchers have found that those with more relative power within a relationship sacrifice less for the sake of the relationship:

Romantic partners often have to sacrifice their interests to benefit their partner or to maintain the relationship. In the present work, we investigated whether relative power within the relationship plays an important role in determining the extent to which partners are likely to sacrifice. Drawing from both classic theories and recent research on power, we tested two competing predictions on the relationship between power and sacrifice in romantic relationships. We tested whether (a) power is negatively related to sacrifice and (b) power is positively related to sacrifice. Furthermore, we also explored whether the association between power and sacrifice is moderated by commitment and inclusion of the other in the self. To test our hypotheses, we used different methodologies, including questionnaires, diary studies, and videotaped interactions. Results across the five studies (N = 1,088) consistently supported the hypothesis that power is negatively related to tendencies to sacrifice in close relationships.

While this seems obvious – i.e., that the person who’s the “one-down” in the relationship ends up doing more of the sacrificing than the person who’s the “one-up” – I think it’s worth discussing a bit in-depth to understand just what’s going on here… and why.

Cool guys behave in subtly different ways than guys who just ‘do what cool guys do’ without BEING cool. How can you emulate this and actually BECOME cool?

What are you focused on when you’re talking to girls? Is it:

• Looking out for cues and responding to signals?

• Active listening to understand what she’s saying and feed it back to her?

• Using good tactics and making the right moves to progress things forward?

• Worrying about what she thinks of you and whether you are doing it right?

These are all useful things to focus on when you are learning them.

They are also things you will be aware of in the back of your head even once you have learned them.

However, guys who are good don’t have any of these things as primary foci with girls. Instead, these are background processes occurring in their heads, keeping an eye on their interactions for them, calibrating on the fly.

What do skilled, cool guys focus on when they talk to girls?

That’s what we’ll talk about today.

That, and how to emulate such guys, so you can get similar results to them too.

Red pill offers a lot of dating advice to curious men. While this advice can seem good on the surface, much of it is lifted directly from the ‘blue pill’.

Seduction has a strange relationship with the red pill. The two fields have plenty of overlap on many things, but there’re also some glaring (often diametrically opposed) contrasts in perspectives and practices.

When the red pill first split off from the seduction community in the late 2000-naughts, it more or less carbon copied the dating advice of seduction, albeit infused with politics and just a dash of cynical avoidance. Since that time, it’s exploded in size, becoming an enormous ideological sect that dwarfs its seduction community forebear. Yet as it’s grown, it’s also transmogrified so radically that a lot of its dating advice has altered as well, in some cases becoming rigid and dogmatic, and in others completely watered down.

There are some reasons for this that are worth a brief address. If you don’t care about the reasons and history, however, you can just skip down to #1 and get right to the ‘advice’.

First though, let’s talk exactly how red pill dating advice became such weak sauce.

How can a man get comfortable enough with women and dating to be relaxed and natural with them? Only through expanding his comfort zone to include them.

For today’s tactical article, I want to give you a tactic to use in service of an important strategy: making yourself as comfortable as possible with women and dating as you can get.

Most of the time when folks talk about the comfort zone, they talk about breaking out of it. When you are in the process of testing the limits on your comfort zone and going beyond them, this is indeed what you are doing – getting out of your comfort zone.

However, the ultimate effect of breaking out of your comfort zone is to EXPAND your comfort zone, spreading it into new territory. No man ever stops having areas in life he is unfamiliar and uncomfortable with. Yet it is possible to expand his comfort zone so far, in so many places, that he only occasionally and deliberately ends up in scenarios he’s unfamiliar or uncomfortable with. In essence, his comfort zone becomes almost everywhere.

The only way to expand your comfort zone is by treading ground you were previously hesitant to tread. To do that, you need to break out of your comfort zone.

We’ll use a tactic for that today we can dub ‘comfort zone expansion’.

Dating is tough, especially as a beginner. Yet it is possible to remain motivated in dating despite the setbacks – IF you can learn to adapt your goals.

Commenting on my article about how to let a girl go, a reader asked:

Hey man,

Thanks for fleshing out valuable articles. I've been a reader of your site for a long time now. I've had my fair share of success but not enough for the effort I've put in.

Recently I started your 4-girls/day 30 day challenge and I'm having fun with it. It's been 10 days now and I've just got 2 phone numbers which didn't go anywhere. I'm starting to get demotivated. I have a solid process and my fundamentals are good but somehow not seeing success yet.

I'd like to see an article on this subject, specifically about inner game and some tips to overcome this nagging feeling of failure.

Thanks again for all the great work you've been doing man.

Setbacks of course are a part of life. You’ve experienced them, I’ve experienced them. Dating is tough, and by all indications for the average person it is getting tougher.

Many people simply give up on dating for a while, retreating to their careers and their pastimes. Hopefully they maintain social circles – which at least offers the chance of bumping into potential mates occasionally purely by being ‘out and about’ – but in today’s digital screen world, more and more don’t even do that.

If you’ve suffered setbacks in dating but you don’t want to give up just yet, come along with me and let’s talk strategies to keep that motivation up.