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(1) Beginner

Beginner daters, socializers, and seducers start here

Dating Advice Has a Signal-to-Noise Ratio Problem

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

TEXTDating advice from both the mainstream and the red pill is filled with low quality claptrap. How do you filter out the good stuff and ignore distraction?

Commenting on my recent article on good game vs. getting lucky, a reader asks:

Chase,

With dating being harder, what more can guys learning this stuff do differently now than before?

What would count as working harder today compared to when dating was easier?

For example: Let’s say in the past you’d say we’d have to approach 20 women a week, today would we have to talk to 40? For being in-shape, before we’d only have to be slim, but today we need to be muscular?

What exactly should we be striving for now compared to your earlier advice?

What are the basics to do well in the complex dating market today?

Thanks

The same reader commented again to ask:

Chase,

I wanted to add and ask, how much money is involved in this dating complexity thing?

I remember you saying after some point it’s pretty much going to be impossible to get women after a certain point as things reach its peak.

If I quoted wrong let me know. But of course reading that is extremely depressing even if you’re really good with women because imagining dating being that much harder is still a pretty depressing thing.

Anyway, in my mind, it seems that LMS and game are going to be a big part of making things impossible.

I’m wondering though because I know on here that you focus on game a lot more than lms, but it seems that lms would make dating harder like other people online have said.

So how important is lms when it comes to this whole dating complexity thing?

Is there any way to make the Impossible possible and still do good in a very hard dating market and not dropout?

I don’t really like the whole idea of being hopeless.

Thanks

He’s referring to my article on growing complexity in the mating market and its effect (present and future) on people’s mating success.

I’m not going to address our commenter’s question here, at least not directly. The direct answer is, “Do better at everything taught on this site.” Instead I want to focus on something else in his comment: its total obliviousness to what’s taught on this site and fixation on stuff that doesn’t really help you with girls.

Thoughts like the commenter’s are common – but also point to a profound misunderstanding of romantic attraction. Our commenter zeroes in on factors that have minimal impact on actual romantic success and worries he’ll need to compete even harder at these same things so many other guys are also competing on.

I’ve extensively debunked the role of big muscles in getting laid. GUYS like big, huge, steroid muscles. They are wowed by them. They’re intimidated and awed by men with colossal, bulging biceps. Women don’t like these kinds of muscles. They vastly prefer men with slimmer, athletic, natural physiques. There are actually more women attracted to ‘skinny-fat’ men (6.3% of women like this look) than there are attracted to veiny, bulging, steroid muscle men (2.1% of women find this look attractive).

Money is every bit the same as this. Go to any singles event in San Francisco. You will find loads and loads of men pulling down 7-10x+ the average national salary, and these guys can’t get dates. Many guys work hard to get rich, thinking that wealth will bring them babes, only to discover once they get there that rich guys still struggle to get girls. There are ways to use money to get laid, but these ways are not intuitive, and most guys with money never try them. They end up dating girls who are… well, just look at the girls the rich guys you know are dating. They’re rarely models.

All this goes back to the fundamental problem in dating advice: it’s huge, colossal, GARGANTUAN signal-to-noise ratio problem.

Seductive Speech: Make Her Feel Like She's on Vacation

Hector Castillo's picture

By: Hector Castillo

give women the vacation they desireMost women feel trapped in drudgery as they go through life. Yet via seductive speech & imagery, you can draw them into a pleasurable vacation they won’t want to leave.

For most girls, life is not too exciting.

Those who live exciting lives struggle with stress. It accumulates whether it’s work, family drama, friend drama, health problems, money problems, or a lack of time to do everything they want.

Girls, like everyone else, don’t like stress. But what do they do about it?

Some drink, some smoke, some party and dance, some watch movies, some eat, and some read. All these solutions share the same idea: chase pleasure to distract from stress and pain.

Now, let’s ask a question: why do girls date men? What attracts them to men?

I’m not asking about whether it’s your game, looks, height, or whatever you think that women like (it’s all those things and more, by the way). What I’m asking is, if you had to pick ONE thing that motivates women to date men, what would it be?

The answer is the same as: “Why do you date women?”

For pleasure.

How Good Game Differs from Getting Lucky

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

good game vs. hoping to get luckySpam approachers – guys who go out to ‘shoot their shot’ and ‘get lucky’ – have a very different approach from guys with good, serious game. But what’s the difference?

One of our forum members, Spyce D, mentioned several acquaintances of his whose success comes off the back of what we’d call ‘spam approaching’:

Question : What do you think is more important in daygame - Numbers game or skill ?

I know a few folks who have been going out for years but they still have to do lot approaches , spam approaches (10+ / hour) and then they would get results , if they do.

No doubt , They are getting results but they are also doing ton of approaches a day that too 4-5 times per week + supplementing with nightgame and online .

And there are folks who played the numbers game but couldn't get any results and then left daygame for years only to return after they took coaching .

Hence the question .

Now, when you’re chatting up 10+ girls/hour, in particular during day game, then yes, that is spam approaching. An experienced seducer who is out to approach until he picks up may make 4 to 6 approaches an hour in day game, assuming he is having a few substantial interactions in there, and also not approaching every single woman he sees (i.e., that he is not spam approaching). That’s about the maximum.

A more ordinary man who is out trying to approach during the day (or a skilled seducer who is not gunning hard for a same day lay) will likely make 1 or 2 approaches per hour.

Let’s have a look real quick at what the difference is between guys who get lucky through sheer volume, versus guys who use good game to get success with women.

How Long Do Most Guys Keep at Pickup?

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

how long do men stay in the game?Lots of guys get into pick up artistry imagining they’ll sleep with tons of women. Most drop out before that point. How long does the average guy stay in?

Picking up girls, like anything new, exciting, yet challenging that people embark on, drops practitioners steadily along the way as you go.

Most folks are aware that most guys who try pickup soon give up. Fewer stick with it. Fewer still stay with it long enough to become good.

But where’s the point where most guys drop out?

Where are the OTHER points along the way that bleed guys from the art of seduction?

Chase's Guide to Ironclad Mental Health

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

Chase's Guide to Ironclad Mental HealthA complete guide to unshakeable mental health. Never be depressed again. Escape victim mentality forever. Use RAISE. Plus: see how the ancients did it.

Commenting on a recent article of mine, Robert Kendall asked:

I realise it's a little bit topical at the moment and has been for a few years, and you've also got a few articles not to dissimilar to this one, but could you do something on mental health. Not necessarily seek professional advice etc, and your media control article covers a lot, but something on how to keep and maintain just general rock solid mental health, tips that maybe you use when things get rough practical advice etc.

Obviously not in the sense that your article would be a substitute for professional advice, but often you like to delve into how far back in history mental health has been 'a thing' for, what the Egyptians did for it, or the Romans did to help with theirs etc. Just think it'd make for a great article.

Hmm… an overview of ancient beliefs and practices on mental health. Then my own guide to keeping your mind rock-solid.

Well, that’s kind of an eclectic ask, but… yeah what the heck!

I think this’d be a fun topic to go into, so, sure… I’m happy to write it.

If you’re new here and you’re wondering what my bona fides are to be writing about mental health, I suggest you read my article on overcoming depression and the many enthusiastic comment replies to that. You may also want to check out my articles on bitterness, victim mentality, and frame control. (if you prefer to hear from someone with academic credentials, you might want to head to Psychology Today)

I’m going to begin with an overview of ancient beliefs and practices around mental health, as per Robert’s request – and then I’ll go into my own strategy for keeping your mentality upwards-focused regardless what setbacks or stressors roil your life or try weighing you down.

Night Game Blueprint, Part 1: The Realities of Seduction

Skilled Seducer's picture

By: Skilled Seducer

night game realitiesGet a grounded perspective on the realities of nightlife seduction. Do looks matter? Can you get any girl? Is it resistance or rejection? And more…

This post by Warped Mindless originally appeared on the forum here.

I originally wrote this guide way back at the beginning of 2011. Truth is, back then I wasn't much of a writer (I'm still not as good as I would like but I'm ever improving!) and because of that I apologize.

I'm posting this the way it was originally written so with that in mind, read on and I hope you learn something from it. I had originally intended to turn this into a free ebook but I made it into a very long article instead

Some of my views have changed sense writing this back in 2011 but overall this is a good beginner friendly method that worked great for me and works well for my students.

I'll make a post within the week that covers a condensed version of my current seduction method.

Meeting a Girl in a Romantic Way (7 Steps)

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

meet her in a romantic wayEvery girl dreams to meet a man romantically. If you can meet a girl in a romantic way, not only can you sweep her off her feet – but you raise the odds you get her, too.

Whenever I’ve told women I wasn’t dating how I met girls I was dating, the response from my female listeners is always the same: “Wow, that’s SO romantic!”

Women love how I meet women. Girls I’m with love it, and girls just listening love it. There’s always an element of fate, chance… magic. There is always a way to say, “If I hadn’t gone there that day, if you hadn’t gone here, if this thing that happened had not happened, we never would have been.”

You might think it has to do with meeting girls in romantic places. Or putting together an approach that looks like a Hollywood meet-cute.

In fact, you can meet girls romantically anywhere you see them, and without following a Hollywood script.

In this guide, I’m going to break the process down for you and let you in on the secrets to meeting a girl in a romantic way.

For the sake of simplicity, I’ve broken the process down into seven (7) easy to execute (well, more or less) steps.

Let’s make some romantic meetings!

7 Savvy Ways to Not Waste Time on Dates

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

stop wasting time on datesWasting time on dates sucks. Want to slash your wasted time? These 7 strategies to streamline dating make the process a whole lot more efficient.

One of the more frustrating aspects of modern dating is wasted time.

There are lots of ways dates can end up wasting your time: being too far away, too inconvenient, turning into no-shows; failures to connect, failures to actually go anywhere, and on and on.

Some people get frustrated enough to outright give up on dating!

Reader’s Digest even claimed a few years ago that “science just proved online dating is a waste of your time.”

Well, what are you supposed to do… just not date? (I mean, skipping online to date in real life is not so bad. But you must get dates somewhere… you’re not a monk!)

This article lays out seven (7) savvy ways to not waste time on dates.

That is, ways to make your dates more efficient, more convenient, AND more EFFECTIVE… at bringing you the kinds of romantic results you’re after.

If that sounds like what you’re looking for, then read on – and let’s get your time wasted on dating down to a bare minimum.

Don't Compliment (or Chat Up) Girls on OBVIOUS Traits!

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

avoid complimenting women on obvious attention-grabbing characteristicsIt’s essential in your courtships to AVOID chatting too much with girls about their obvious/peacocked traits. Why? To avoid being too GENERIC!

Over on the forum, member DarkJedi shared a report in which he made a smooth, natural street stop on a girl that melded right into an instant date, with the girl accompanying him to a pub nearby just minutes after he met her. It was a great open and transition.

Once on the instant date, however, things soon fell apart. His attempt at sexual innuendo did not land, and his deep dives on his date’s tattoos failed to create a connection. After that, he battled on for a bit, ultimately to have the date end in awkwardness and the girl text him later that she “didn’t feel we hit it off.”

DarkJedi’s takeaway was that he wasn’t being direct enough.

But that wasn’t my read of the situation at all.

Instead, I noticed (in him spending all that time talking to her about her tattoos) he’d committed one cardinal offense:

He got too hung up upon complimenting / chatting with a girl on something many other people already also have!

Skilled Seducer of the Month, May 2024: Kvothe

Skilled Seducer's picture

By: Skilled Seducer

Welcome to May 2024’s Skilled Seducer of the Month interview.