(1) Beginner

When you ask a girl out and she asks for your social media, what do you say if you don’t have one? How do you communicate not being on there to girls?

The other day a reader named Luon Di mentioned in a comment communicating to girls you’re not on social media:

Since then, she has been texting me daily. I try to keep our exchanges brief. We have a date planned in the next week. Early on, I thought I had lost her, after she asked for my social media and then she stopped replying after I answered why I don't have any (there are several reasons). This is becoming a recurring problem every time I meet a girl, and a major factor in why I have lost some very early on, despite me justifying it very reasonably to them. The next day she finally answered, empathetically.

In his case, in this particular incident, it worked out. But I would like to talk about those situations where girls give you pushback, go quiet, or act like it’s “weird.”

First off, I’m not going to write an article on the pros and cons of social media for men. I talked about that way back in 2012 regarding Facebook, and the exact same logic applies today to Instagram, TikTok, you name it. The same dynamics that were and are at play on Facebook then are at play on other social media apps today. The apps change but the dynamics don’t. You can get my opinion on it – then make up your own mind – in that earlier article.

This article is squarely aimed at guys who either are not on social media at all, or prefer not to share their social media with people (i.e., girls) they’ve just met. Maybe their follower counts aren’t all that impressive; or on the other hand maybe they share a lot of stuff on there they don’t want strangers to see.

If that’s you, read on, and we’ll talk about how to make this not a detriment for you with girls, but an actual advantage.

What do you do when you ask a girl out over text but she leaves you on read? Simple enough: send her this ping 2 hours after the text & get her reply.

This post originally appeared on the forum here.

For context, please read this first (and the comments).

Let's say you are texting her back and forth using a proven structure.

(Like: get the number, ping, banter, soft close, hard close > date)

Now let's imagine you try to close and are left on read.

What to do?

Normally guys will wait a bit and re-ping.

Is that wrong?

Of course not.

But it means you are re-starting the process all over again. 🙁

A better solution is to press without being pushy!

But how to do it?

Use this simple opening line to engage any girl out shopping. It doesn’t matter where you meet her or what she’s shopping for – this line kicks things off!

This post originally appeared on our forum here.

Thought I'd share my #1 opener when shopping. It's so simple, and the opportunity so common I rarely need another opener.

Basically, you see a babe standing in front of a shelf/rack considering some items, you approach and open with

I can tell you are putting a lot of thought into this decision.

Granted your fundamentals are decent you will always be met warmly. Often with a laugh.

Now, obviously you have to follow this opener up to generate conversational momentum. But you can definitely consider the ice broken at this point.

56% of women ages 18-29 have at least one tattoo. With tattoos so common, are they still “red flags” in women… or have they been fully “normalized?”

Recently we had a forum member asking about a girl he’s started dating, wanting to know if she’s girlfriend material or not. About her, he says:

Her first tattoo she got when she was 16 with her friends in school. On the inside of her lip which says ‘babygirl’ She’s a little bit embarrassed about that one. She got a couple other classier looking ones on the inside of her wrists and back of her ankles which look nice.

Another forum member referenced my 2017 article of yellow, orange, and red flags to watch out for in girls. One of the nine red flags I listed there was “more than one small tattoo.”

Here’s an excerpt from that article, in which I cite a bunch of the research on tattooed women:

[W]omen with tattoos are more impulsive than untattooed women, take more risks, and are also more likely to use drugs, shoplift, and have non-ear piercings (more on that in our next red flag). Women with four or more tattoos are 4x as likely to attempt suicide as women with three or fewer tattoos. And yes, your instincts are correct – they also engage in riskier sex. Remember, we said red flags are signs a girl is both nutty and easy, right?

Of course, as the years march by, more and more women are getting tatted up. According to the latest Pew survey, a whopping 56% of American women aged 18-29 have at least one tattoo.

Is it still the case that tattoos are a potential red flag in girls you want to date?

It’s easier to have a successful night out with girls when you plan for it. The keys to successful night out planning: triangulation, transit time, & more.

Hi everyone.

Today, I'll discuss night game logistics and share a strategy for an optimal night out. In the past, I've covered similar topics, such as preparing your place for pulls, and provided checklists before heading out at night, see Logistics Checklist: What to Prepare for Good Seductions

In this article, I'll continue along those lines. I'll go through the steps for planning your night out. When you combine the content in this article with the checklist at the link above, you have your night planned to a T. Everything should go more smoothly. Logistics can make or break a seduction. Good logistics will help; bad logistics will ruin you. It is your duty, I repeat, DUTY, to do all you can to take care of logistics.

You cannot prepare for every aspect of logistics and foresee all logistical hoops. Yes, poor logistics happen, and often they are beyond your control (examples: your favorite venue is dead, your girl lives far away, various wildcards, and more). What you can do, however, is do your best to ensure that you take care of what you can control and prepare for the rest.

The good news is that logistics is one of the easiest factors to fix, and you can implement many measures to ensure your night goes smoothly.

It's one aspect of the game that does not require practice. Just read about how to handle logistics and implement the measures. (You don't need to "practice" to ensure your flat is clean.) That said, experience helps because you may not care about logistics until you lose a good lead (a tough lesson to learn!) And experience helps when you must use logistical thinking to handle difficult and unpredictable situations. However, the latter becomes easier when everything you can control will be in check. And this is what we will cover today.

If a girl is DTF, can you put her off for now and sleep with her later? No, sorry… because when a girl’s DTF, it doesn’t last; she won’t stay DTF forever.

Bit of a public service announcement here, because I see a looot of new guys make this rookie mistake:

When a girl is DTF (down to fuck), she is only that way on a temporary basis. DTF is a fleeting emotion – once it’s gone, it’s gone, and often it will not come back.

Even if you’re a pro with girls today, I have no doubt you have memories of girls who were hot, horny, and ready to go, only for you to put off bedding them because, “I’ll just lay her later.” Except later never came… for when you tried to bed her the NEXT time, she wasn’t in the mood and you couldn’t get her back in it.

The fleeting nature of women’s DTF state is something guys need some time to fully comprehend. That’s because as men, we don’t work that way. If I’d be down to fuck a girl today, I’m still going to be down to fuck the same girl tomorrow, and probably next week (and next month… heck, maybe even next year!) as well.

Not so with women.

Understanding this difference between males and females is essential if you don’t want to bypass opportunities to sleep with sexy girls that you will miss if you fail to grasp it.

Who holds more power in a romantic relationship? The one who’s still pursuing goals and dreams outside of it, scientific studies show.

In another study that surprises absolutely no one, researchers have found that those with more relative power within a relationship sacrifice less for the sake of the relationship:

Romantic partners often have to sacrifice their interests to benefit their partner or to maintain the relationship. In the present work, we investigated whether relative power within the relationship plays an important role in determining the extent to which partners are likely to sacrifice. Drawing from both classic theories and recent research on power, we tested two competing predictions on the relationship between power and sacrifice in romantic relationships. We tested whether (a) power is negatively related to sacrifice and (b) power is positively related to sacrifice. Furthermore, we also explored whether the association between power and sacrifice is moderated by commitment and inclusion of the other in the self. To test our hypotheses, we used different methodologies, including questionnaires, diary studies, and videotaped interactions. Results across the five studies (N = 1,088) consistently supported the hypothesis that power is negatively related to tendencies to sacrifice in close relationships.

While this seems obvious – i.e., that the person who’s the “one-down” in the relationship ends up doing more of the sacrificing than the person who’s the “one-up” – I think it’s worth discussing a bit in-depth to understand just what’s going on here… and why.