(1) Beginner

Guys can make meeting new women a lot more complicated than it needs to be. Whether you need to build momentum or just get into a social mood, start by making an approach.

Hey guys and welcome back.

Today’s post is beginner-friendly and may benefit intermediate players (and even pros).

It covers an in-field philosophy that has helped me tremendously.

It’s one thing what game looks like on paper and quite another how it unfolds in real life. Sometimes, all those openings and windows you see the pros talk about may be less apparent in the field when you are out there doing it. The scenarios described here may not look the same when you are out.

Is it because my setting is different than yours? That may be true, but it’s rarely the cause. The primary reason is that you often do not see openings. Why? You might be so stressed that your attention is elsewhere. Your attention may be inward, reflecting on your mood, or you could be distracted by something irrelevant. Perhaps you are unable to decipher the openings.

The opportunities are ripe for the picking, but you are simply not seeing them.

Or you may not see them clearly.

Perhaps the problem is that you have not created those openings.

The result? You may begin to stress, feel anxious, demoralized, and demotivated.

This in-field stress happens in both night and day game but is more prevalent in night game. It’s partly due to the intimidating nature of night game (cool looking dudes, intimidating bouncers, chaos, many hot, dolled up girls). In day game, it could be due to approach anxiety. But you will experience far less chaos during the day, making it easier to see openings and opportunities.

A reader wonders if he may simply not have what it takes to seduce women. Are there men who lack the ‘right stuff’ to put new girls into their beds?

Commenting on my article “Don't Hate the Player. And Don't Hate the Game”, a reader named Garud says

Whenever I read your post about women. I feel that there is still hope. I most of the time thinks otherwise because I am a bit emotional person unlike badboys or fuck boys... Not very socially good and also a bit sensitive.. to be socially dominant it feels like I am going against my own basic nature. But sometimes when my emotions are under control due to some reasons for temporarily i feel like I must approach a girl and I am very confident about that but the question which I kept asking about myself is why I am having to struggle and suffer so much to learn the things which so called bad boys or insensitive guys knew or learnt for free It fills me with so much self-hate. It feels like a loser. Initially i used to blame girls for this now after reading your articles on girls are silly and cute. Now I blame myself. Sometimes I feel like to focus only on career and fuck this shit. And get arranged marriage..but whenever I read your post i feel there is still hope.. it feels like climbing Mount Everest and I don't know whether we will a be alive by the time we reach the top. Chase, you are doing wonderful Job. I used to be a woman-hater. I used to think that they are evil. Now at least after reading you my view of looking at them has changed..

One thing which always bothers me is that, I can try million times but what if my nature is not suitable for seduction and I am wasting my time trying to learn something for which I am not made for... Chase, what advice you would give me on this?

He raises some interesting questions.

Because the fact is, we all have quite varying natures.

Some of us are inclined to this game of seducing women far more than others.

What do you do if you just are not ‘seducer material’?

Looksmaxxed men can look very good. Some become truly beautiful men. So why, if they look so good, and get so many likes online, can’t they get laid?

Over on the forum, we have a thread by a Singaporean guy planning to travel to the US for school who is concerned American white women won’t want him because he is 5’9” and Asian.

For a while we talked to him about what he needs to do to attain the results he is after (namely, Caucasian-American girls on his cock). We talked about numerous examples of men like him, or even men who (according to his looks-based paradigm) should be ‘worse off’ than him (e.g., shorter, heavily accented Asian men) who excel with precisely the demographics he longs for.

This forum member brushed all our guidance aside and kept returning to his looks, saying he wanted to get plastic surgery, and finally saying this:

So yeah, maybe I have just watched too many lookism / looks-maxing videos, but they seem to make some valid points about how shallow white women can be and how critical first impressions are. I just want to know if investing in my appearance will potentially make a huge difference.

Aha. So it’s media influence.

Yet however ‘valid’ the glowing screen’s points may appear, it doesn’t change the fact that the guys who pour heaps of time and energy into extreme looksmaxxing (mewing, plastic surgery, bone smashing – which started as a joke meme, FYI, before looksmaxxers started taking it seriously; Poe’s law in action) often still end up dateless, sexless incels.

Exhibit A:

How am I attractive but can never get laid?

Exhibit B:

I've looksmaxxed to HTN and for the most part I've seen the results of it, but for the terminally-online types like myself and most people on here, that just means internet-based stuff. I've gotten the matches on OLD, gotten follows from hot girls on insta, but it doesn't translate to shit lol. Most matches don't mean shit, even girls who message you first will not respond a lot of the time. Chats end nowhere (i'm putting in no effort tho tbh, refuse to jestermaxx). Even girls who follow you on IG won't respond to DMs.

Exhibit C:

Lookmaxxing was not enough to get me the results I wanted, it is part of what I needed to do to get results but only part of it.

If I isolate the kind of improvements I got only for the changes I made to my looks and discard the improvements I got for the changes I made to my status, finantial situation and social skills then... No... looksmaxxing does not provide enough results to be worth the effort.

So, riddle me this, Batman: what’s the difference between getting romantic advice from a voluntarily celibate monk who lives in a monastery and has pledged his life to chastity versus getting romantic advice from an involuntarily celibate looksmax guru who splits his life between the gym and the plastic surgery clinic and has pledged his life to vanity?

Will the romantic acumen of one celibate man surpass the romantic acumen of another?

Would you take dietary advice from an obese man, or career advice from a beggar?

And for that matter – why don’t looksmaxxed men get laid?

When life is good, it’s easy to do great with girls. But when the road gets bumpy, how do you keep your momentum up in dating – instead of let it fall?

Hey guys and welcome back.

Today, I want to talk about macro-momentum. I know it’s a fancy word, but its definition is simple and likely concerns you. Macro-momentum is how well you are doing over an expected period, usually depending on your life, emotional situation, and overall results in field.

You have probably noticed that during pickup and seduction, there are times when you have plenty of results and all is going perfectly. The girls like you; it is easy to open and hook; you are confident in your skills. Seduction feels simple—you are excited about the entire process. We call this high macro-momentum or simply high momentum. Your success from previous nights will spill over into the next, continuing until the pendulum swings the other way.

Then, there are times when things don’t go so well. You have off-periods, or what we call low macro-momentum or low momentum. You are struggling and not getting many, if any, results. Everything you try feels like work; hooking is challenging, and women do not seem to respond well to your approach. You have to work much harder for results.

And just like that, your mojo is gone; you lose motivation.

The pendulum eventually swings back into high momentum. It continues to go back and forth. It’s the nature of the game. The sooner you accept it, the better.

Not every approach to night game needs to be hyper. There are chill ways to approach girls at night too – like “Quiet Sniper” and “The Classic Approach.”

Hi guys and welcome back.

Today, I would like to discuss alternative openings in night game. Recently, I have focused on high-energy approaches. I covered an opening and hook strategy about attention grabs. These can trigger a response from girls to test their compliance before you open.

This approach requires you to be in a social mood and have high energy. It may also help if you are naturally extroverted.

But what if you are not extroverted? What if you are but do not feel like being overly social, playful, and energetic? Even outgoing guys can be socially tired and need time to cool off.

If you have experience, you may know this, but certain forms of night game are often the first choice for introverted men. Some of the best night gamers are introverted, even our own Cody Lyans, who is inactive right now.

Women do not think the way guys think they do. In fact, they misunderstand men a lot. Get how girls think, then leading & loving them grows far easier.

It’s 8:15 AM Tuesday morning and Aria is swiftly walking down a busy city sidewalk. Everyone bustling around her, like her, is in business attire, all making their ways, like her, to work.

Suddenly her eyes shift reflexively to the side, settling on the eyes of a staring man walking her direction on the sidewalk. Aria doesn’t even take a moment to take the man in; she instantly breaks eye contact to the side just as soon as she’s made it.

“Oh God, way too early for that,” she thinks. The last thing she needs is a random guy chatting her up before she’s even had her first cup of coffee for the day!

Fortunately, the man passes her by without an approach. Aria knows that most guys who look only ever look. But you never know for sure when one of the guys who’s looking will take you looking back as an invitation to approach. Right now she isn’t in the mood to meet new people.

As she approaches a crosswalk, she slows down to join the mass of morning commuters waiting for the “WALK” sign to appear. Stopping behind a small crowd of people, she notices a man slightly ahead of her nodding his head to some song only he can hear. Curious, she cranes her neck a bit to see the side of his face. He looks normal… not super cute or anything. But the relaxed, confident expression on his face makes him stand out from the sea of tired businesspeople all around.

Aria brushes her hair back, staring at the nodding man, half trying to get him to notice her. He’s off in his own world and doesn’t seem to detect her. “He looks so cute listening to his music,” she thinks to herself. “I wonder what makes him so different from everyone else!”

She tries brushing her hair back a second time while staring at him, but he still doesn’t notice. The “WALK” sign comes on, the crowd crosses the street, and the nodding man turns off another direction from the one Aria’s traveling in.

“There he goes,” Aria thinks, a slight longing in her breast. “I wonder if he walks this way every day?” Briefly as she walks, she imagines meeting him on her way to work tomorrow and ending up in an accidental chitchat with him. Inside her imagination, they talk, laugh, and in the easy conversation it turns out they have a surprising amount in common.