(1) Beginner

Many guys dabble in talking to girls, flirting, and trying various ways to approach – only to soon give up. But if you want success, you must stick with it!

I’ve been thinking about this more lately, this idea that the vast majority of men “give up” on dating way, way too soon.

Right. Compounding effects… a few early good experiences give confidence; confidence is more attractive than anything else; more good experiences —> virtuous cycle.

Meanwhile, a few early bad experiences —> low confidence —> big attraction hit (few girls like the unconfident guy) —> more bad experiences, or the guy just totally withdraw and gets no experiences.

Usually the unconfident guys end up having very few real world experiences, don’t really “go for it” with girls at all, then end up looking for reasons why they’re all alone. They read stuff online from a bunch of women talking about “it just happens!” (because that’s how it happens for women; as a man, you have to go out and make it happen), decide it hasn’t happened to them because of [whatever shortcoming], and just retreat further in.

Hopefully at some point the guy has a rock bottom moment, shakes out of it, and says, “Screw this. I’m going to get what I want!” and starts throwing himself into it and learning as he goes.

Not all guys do though… which is very sad.

(we used to have societies where everyone was constantly encouraging young men to be go-getters. That’s totally broken down now. Human instincts only go so far… without guidance, it is very easy to get lost in the weeds)

— Girls Chase 🏃‍♀️💨 (@GirlsChase) October 21, 2024

Primarily this is due to the encouraging/discouraging effect of early experiences.

When you take a guy out on an approach bootcamp to get him meeting girls in-the-flesh, for instance, you want to engineer the bootcamp so he’s getting wins as fast as possible:

• Take him to venues you know the girls are receptive to meeting men.

• Send him into girls you can tell are likely open to meet someone or even actively shooting approach invitations.

• Give him simple things to do right away that he is not doing on his own that will immediately get him new, exciting progress with girls he is not used to hitting:

  • Smile on approach
  • Tease her right away
  • Move her right away
  • Isolate her after 5-10 minutes of conversation
  • Propose a venue bounce after 20-30 minutes

The reason you do this is to build momentum into his approaching, that way he keeps going out after the bootcamp ends. I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to take a guy out and take his money and then he never does it again after that outing. I want to help him to begin building a habit that’s going to change his life.

Most men aren’t going to take bootcamps, which means most men are going to be learning on their own. No problem if a guy is super driven or is a skilled learner who already knows how to set himself up for victory and habit formation.

Men who don’t fall in either camp though all too often end up quitting before they even get going – and that’s just sad.

Where and how you position yourself relative to a woman can make or break your seduction. Many guys try to “block women in” & cut off their exits. YOU want to do the OPPOSITE.

Last week, I discussed the importance of giving a girl the opportunity to opt out at any time, giving her a way to exit so she feels she may leave at any time.

The idea is not to motivate her to leave—quite the contrary. You want to make her feel secure. If she feels she has an easy way out, without consequences, you won’t get angry or create bad vibes; she will feel much more comfortable sticking with you.

In practice, she should always have an opportunity to exit, whether that’s your place, the conversation, or the venue, but she is likely to do so with good feelings about you when you make her feel more comfortable.

If you’d like empirical facts about how this works, consider any Girls Chase product you may have bought or similar products. You may be initially skeptical, especially if unfamiliar with the provider. They typically offer an option to unsubscribe anytime or a money-back guarantee. And those who provide this are confident with their product, meaning they know you will like it and won’t “leave” or “unsubscribe.” They gain the benefit of trust.

You may notice that those who offer no money back or ask you to commit usually do so because they are afraid to lose you. Often, it is because the product is substandard, and the only way to keep you is to lock you in. Yes, you will get mad when you dislike the service or product, but on their end, they at least got to cash in X amount, which is a success for them, considering you wouldn’t have stuck around anyway.

Good products offer a way out or a money-back guarantee. That’s not to say all products or services that do this are good, but all good products usually provide this.

So, if it’s a good product (an attractive guy; if you are not, become one), it allows you to use the same technique to establish trust.

Today, I’ll give practical tips you can use in your interactions to build more comfort. I’ll discuss other benefits of using this concept, too.

Opening with a complaint (“This line sure is long!”) can come naturally. But not everyone responds to it… because it’s NEGATIVE. Here’s how you fix that.

As we gear up for the launch of my novel new teasing method (you can watch video #1 on it – about the #1 common humor mistake to AVOID when talking to girls – right here), I’m going to be talking a fair bit about humor and teases.

Today we’ll talk about a specific type of opener: the optimistic complaint opener.

Before you can dive into a new conversation, first you need to start the conversation. We do this using what we call openers.

Most folks find situationally relevant openers the easiest to begin with. They’re low pressure; they make use of the environment for context; and they’re a breeze to come up with.

Perhaps the easiest situationally relevant opener to stumble upon is the ‘humorous complaint’ opener. This is where you point out something less-than-ideal about the situation you and a girl find yourselves in, and use it to begin a conversation.

For instance, if you’re in a long line at a coffee shop, you might lean in toward the girl in front of you and quip, “Sheesh, we’re going to be here all month!” If you’re at a bar with terrible music, you might tap the girl next to you and ask her, “Who wrote this music anyway, Helen Keller?”

While these openers can be creative, and they do fit the context you use them in, they still face one major drawback: they’re negative.

Yet, with a little inventiveness, we can fix it.

When you chat up a girl, does she realize you’re hitting on her? If not… how obvious must you be for her to “get the picture” that you like her?

Hey guys and welcome.

I have recently finished my series on the indirect approach, discussing the many mechanisms at play, covering displaying interest and disinterest, and how to do it. So, today, I’ll turn to a theoretical question many men ask:

Why go indirect and “hide” your true interest in her when she already knows why you are hitting on her?

I will tackle this question below.

Women don’t usually make eye contact beyond 6ft/2m. When they do, it’s often a sign they’re ‘on the hunt’, in search of men – and YOU have caught their eye.

I’ve noticed for a long time now that when girls start looking at me from far away, they almost always start playing with their hair and preening themselves once they have my attention.

Much of the time they will move closer to me on their own. As they draw nearer, I will use my eyes that draw technique to make sure they stop near where I am (within easy opening range).

When I approach girls like this, they are generally very receptive.

So, I have long taken this one (girls staring at you from a distance) as “very often an approach invitation.”

As it turns out, there is a specific distance you can look for to make this more watertight!

Today’s henpecked men suppress their own sexual attractiveness, studies find. Why men are doing this & how to stop doing it we discuss in this essay.

The other day I came across an eye-opening paper from 2007. Here’s the abstract: