(1) Beginner | Page 6 | Girls Chase

(1) Beginner

Beginner daters, socializers, and seducers start here

Tactics Tuesdays: 3 Ways to Disarm Your Drawbacks

Chase Amante's picture
disarm your drawbacksYou might be short, poor, bald, ugly, dumb, or out-of-step; we’ve all got drawbacks. Yet how do you deal with these when women bring them up?

It’s pretty common for men to feel insecure about whatever drawbacks they may have:

  • Too short
  • Too ugly
  • Too bald
  • Too broke
  • Too young
  • Too old
  • Too much of a nobody
  • Too unaccomplished
  • Too awkward
  • Too dumb
  • Too out-of-step with the culture

Guys will put off approaching girls, skip approaching altogether, and otherwise remain stuck in safe spaces out of fear of rejection over their drawbacks.

When they do make an approach on a girl, they often look for ways to self-deprecate, which only highlights their weakness and makes them look insecure; or else they act defensive if it gets brought up, which again makes them seem insecure.

How, then, do you defuse your disadvantages when you approach new girls – or even when you go on a date, or are inside a relationship?

In this Tactics Tuesdays installment, I’ll provide you with three (3) separate (but each one of them useful) ways.

Secrets to Getting Girls: Focus Outward

Chase Amante's picture
focus outwardIf you want to attract girls, you need to focus on girls – not yourself. Get out of your head, into the moment, and focused upon the opposite sex!

I had a guy message me with some concerns that he may not be good enough for girls.

It was hard for him to motivate himself to approach women, he said, because he just did not see why anyone would value him or want to talk to him.

What most people would probably focus on is trying to buoy the confidence of a man in his position. “Think about your good qualities!” “Focus on the bright side!” “There’s surely a girl who will like you for you!”

What I advised him on was, instead, one of the Secrets to Getting Girls:

To switch his mentality from an inward focus to an outward one.

What Is Peacocking and Does It Work?

Alek Rolstad's picture
peacocking then and nowPeacocks use ostentatious displays to attract a female. Can this same strategy work for human beings? It can, it does, and in this guide you’ll learn just how it does so.

Hey guys. Welcome back.

Today, I’ll touch upon a classic technique in pickup and seduction that is often overlooked—peacocking.

It’s an original technique that Mystery and his crew popularized in the 2000s. The idea is to catch women’s attention by dressing flashy to facilitate openings. This usually involves wearing accessories, flamboyant clothing, or an original dressing style, so you come off as a peacock.

Back in the day, it was one of the most used techniques for night game, and quickly became the clothing style for many active pickup guys. Whenever a guy would dress flamboyantly in a club, people always suspected he must be part of the “community.”

Eventually, as seduction popularity died off, peacocking took a serious hit. It is often a meme-worthy element of pickup and seduction, usually to ridicule pickup and seduction as a whole. “Look at those nerdy clown-looking weirdos!” Often, this criticism was deserving; many of those so-called “pickup artists” (PUA) or “green PUA” (a PUA in training) did look really weird. And their miscalibrated use of gambits, negs (negative remarks), and routines, like magic tricks, gave the entire community an odd image.

However, all these can work if delivered correctly, congruently, and in the right moment and setting.

These guys took the idea of canned material a bit too far. Because they were beginners and entered pickup arenas with a hefty toolbox, memorizing material, they appeared very robotic. Adding to a poor baseline because they lacked fundamentals, pickup and seduction became less popular and was often joke worthy, with the concept of peacocking its primary victim.

Later, the introduction of natural game countered the older pickup style’s overly goofy and robotic aspects. This new approach focuses on mastering fundamentals and represents a positive shift in the game. Natural game aims to teach beginners advanced strategies, gambits and niche routines, particularly men who struggle socially. These men did not have their fundamentals in check. They usually had poor body posture, grooming, and delivery—poor everything. Add a flashy attention-seeking outfit on top of it, and instead of providing them with a degree of edginess or coolness, they looked out of place and easy targets for jokes.

Most pickup material known to the public to this day—and ridiculed by the mainstream—belongs to the Mystery Method. He was the first to promote the idea of peacocking. The popularization of the Mystery Method and its signature concepts like negging, peacocking, and “DHV’in” (demonstrating higher value) is partly due to its popularity within the community and mainstream exposure. The book The Game focuses on the Mystery Method and Mystery himself, in addition to the subsequent TV show The Pickup Artist. Coaching companies erupted in the twilight of this mass popularization, and most sold watered-down copies of the original Mystery Method. Things became worse, as poorly trained, inexperienced men with an advanced system were doomed to failure, leading to a decline in pickup and seduction popularity.

Let’s revisit the concept of peacocking. How can this work today? Why does it work? Next week, we will discuss how to use peacocking.

Seduction Failures: Girl Problem or Skill Issue?

Chase Amante's picture
girl problem or skill issue?If you’re stumbling in a seduction, is it because of the girl, or because of your skill? To figure out which, we need to establish the pattern – if there is one at all.

Commenting on my article “Always Be Closing (in Seduction, with Girls)”, Walter writes

Usually,when it comes to sex, I am really aggressive and yet I have often failed to close as you speak even though I was fooling around with women that I had just met when we were in a bed room for instance even though she suggested it too.

The first thing I’ll say here is while my advice is to move faster with women and yes, always be closing, it is also to be highly responsive and as well-calibrated as you can be in your moves with women. You can close a certain portion of girls simply by being really aggressive, but you will also blow a lot of girls out entirely.

The reason for that is it is very important for a woman in a seduction to feel that she is special to you and that you are listening to her, responding to her, and looking out for her. If at any point she stops feeling this way, trust is lost, and her legs slam shut (often never to be opened).

I don’t have a full picture of Walter’s typical escalation to sex so I don’t want to speculate too much on what he is doing here. But I use this comment to lead into this article’s subject: when a seduction fails, how do you tell whether the problem is a ‘girl problem’ or a ‘skill issue’?

Always Be Closing (in Seduction, with Girls)

Chase Amante's picture
always be closingA ladies man who wants consistent romantic success adheres to one maxim: ALWAYS BE CLOSING. Because the man who can’t close is a man who can’t win.

As a tire salesman in my late teens, it took me a while to fully cement the lesson that I needed to always be closing. Even though in sales it is crystal clear that your whole object is to move the prospect into becoming a customer, I still felt gun-shy asking for the close much of the time. If the prospect wasn’t showing enough readiness, I might avoid trying to close at all. I did not want to be pushy.

Yet by the time I had a year of sales experience under my belt, I’d left behind my hesitancy to close. In the summer of 2003, as a then-intermediate salesman, I fully embraced the ‘Always Be Closing’ philosophy – and I turned myself into a resistless sales closing machine.

Singlehandedly, during my return to sales from a semester away at school, I lifted an underperforming store that hadn’t hit its sales quota in eight months into a winner. I sold so hard to everyone who walked in that door that I pushed us well past our July quota. If someone came in to get a flat tire fixed, and that person’s tires looked like they could use changing, he or she’d be leaving with a set of four brand new tires, or I didn’t know how to sell. The boss hadn’t thought that year’s exaggerated sales quotas were achievable for any month, but I handily beat them in July.

When I left the store to return to school the next month, mid-August, I made clear to the boss that I was leaving the store hundreds of sales ahead of where we should have been at that point in the month to reach that month’s quota. It was the rest of the sales team’s over-quota status to keep (or forfeit). Somehow, in my absence, the remaining sales staff sold so abysmally that despite the generous sales cushion I left, they nevertheless missed quota without me. That’s the difference a single closer on the team can make – versus an army of lily-livered non-closers.

You’d think I might have taken that same lesson to always be closing with me when I dove into seduction a few years later. For some reason, I didn’t. Instead, I had to learn the exact same lesson all over again the hard way with girls.

This article is for anyone who, like that young and naïve me, has yet to realize the importance of maintaining an unshakeable eye on the prize; an unbending, resistless drive to push ever forward toward the close – whether with sales prospects or romantic ones (though our focus in this article, given the nature of this website, will be on the romantic ones).

Recommended Reading 2024

Chase Amante's picture
Chase Amante's recommended reading list, 2024Chase’s sexennial reading list for 2024 is out. Book recommendations on seduction, history, society, business, economics, fiction, survival, & more.

It’s been six years since my last Recommended Reading list, which itself was six years after my first. So I suppose that means it’s time for me to write another!

There are some folks out there who read voluminously, digesting 30+ books per year. Unfortunately that is not me. It may have been in my youth (I was constantly reading in grade school and high school) but with as much time as I spend managing the business and doing my own writing I don’t have as much time to spare on reading nowadays.

The result however is that I must be very picky about what I read. Books that come highly recommended by others but that fail to hook me in in fast enough or provide enough obvious value for my time – such as the fiction novel Chronicles of the Black Company, the polemic Deliberate Dumbing Down of America, Jack Welch’s corporate bible Winning, or the business management book The Essential Deming – I quickly discard. The list below is a list of survivors; these are the books I found valuable enough to keep reading, and include now on this list.

If you like my recommendations, and you want to read more books I recommend, I suggest you check out my prior lists: here’s my first list, from 2012; here is my second list, including many recommendations drawn from Lubbock’s list, in 2018. I still like these books; some of them I still reread.

I’ve broken the list below down into seven (7) categories: survival, seduction, history and society, economics, business, fiction, and miscellaneous. If you have a certain category you’re looking for, or certain categories you’re simply uninterested in, you skip to or skip those categories and go to the ones you like.

Lastly, the links include Amazon affiliate links. If you want to buy the books but have some moral stricture against buying from an Amazon affiliate link, just type the name of the book + the author into your preferred book buying website and you should find the same work without issue. Also worth noting that many of the older books on this list that are out of copyright are available for free via Library Genesis.

Onwards!

How to Be More Attractive to Women: 4 Attraction Pillars

Guest Contributor's picture
attracting women moreAttracting women more in a flirtation or inside a relationship requires greater attractiveness. Adhere to these 4 pillars and buff up your attractive power.

I am going to divide this piece into the 4 big pillars that make women attracted to men, give you examples of excelling in each of them, and then give you actionable advice to get there.

49 Early Warning Signs a Woman Is Going to Cheat on You

Chase Amante's picture
early warning signs she'll be unfaithfulA cheater doesn’t cheat out of nowhere. She leaves clues, hints, and signs – some of them quite obvious. These 49 signs tell you she may soon cheat on you.

Recently on our forum, Ambiance, one of our more experienced members, was blindsided when his live-in girlfriend (who was a virgin when they got together) cheated on him with another man.

In his post, “I Got Cheated on Out of Nowhere,” Ambiance shared his shock at how even this girl, who had shown him nothing but ‘green flags’, could cheat. It made him wonder whether any relationship could ever be safe.

I am just mind-boggled. Why in the M***********G HELL would this girl who has been otherwise SO GOOD to me and who seemed SO IN LOVE with me throw it all away over some guy she wasn't even in love with when she knew him growing up?? I have been such a good, strong boyfriend to her and she seemed madly in love with me all this time. Not to mention this Guy C is an oafish looking nice guy without any guile.

I had fallen so in-love with her. In a world where Western women are becoming increasingly less suited for long term relationships, I thought I had hit the absolute jackpot and then done everything right. I was the baddest, sexiest guy she had ever met who conquered her and stole her right under Guy B's nose and spent the next 10 months ravishing her in mind and body. How could she have been [so] stupid?! How could I have attached myself to someone so deficient??? How could such an otherwise incredible girl with everything going for her be so screwed up in the head???

This is a waking nightmare. I feel like what remaining innocence I had so carefully protected has been f*****g obliterated.

Yet as other forum members and I pointed out, this perfect-seeming girl had some blatant red flags for infidelity risk early on that Ambiance had not noticed.

In this article, I’ll be sharing with you a complete list of ‘infidelity risk factors’ in women – potential cheater ‘red flags’ – you should look for from the very START of a relationship (or, ideally, before you even jump into bed with her). Watch out for these signs a woman is going to cheat, and you’ll be much better prepared to avoid getting hurt.

If you’re a man who desires as LITTLE a chance of a woman cheating on him as possible, this article will be Gospel to you.

The 3 Types of Conversation Hooks, Pt. 1: Hook Theory

Alek Rolstad's picture
three paths to connectionWhen you speak to a girl, there are three (3) distinct types of hooks you can use to reel her in: rapport-based, stimulation-based, and social proof.

Hey guys and welcome back.

Today, I want to discuss three different hook game styles. Hook game usually happens post-opening when you attempt to “reel in” a girl and settle into a group interaction with strangers. It is the moment when you proceed from being a stranger to becoming a guy who is an active part of the interaction. You may not be a peer yet, but you become an acquaintance, a guy they are willing to chat and interact with. It’s when you feel that “you are in.”

Below, I will discuss the three types of hooking. Next week, you will learn how to calibrate and when to use each of the three hooking styles.

Don't Compliment Girls You Want to Date on Their Looks. Here's Why

Chase Amante's picture
don't compliment women on their looksIt’s common for men to try to chat up a girl by complimenting her on her looks. Yet all this does is make you sound exactly like every other guy.

Over on the forum, we had a member who protested that he struggles to compliment women on anything other than their physical appearances. He doesn’t care about or pay attention to women’s ornamentation, he says, and wouldn’t complimenting on something else be ingenuine? Here’s some of what he commented:

Iʼve long believed that the purpose of compliments in the early moments of an approach is to communicate sexual intent, which signals confidence and avoids creepiness.

For the intent to be sexual, I would have thought compliments on genetic features would hit the mark better than those on clothing or adornments. After all, a child she could give you might inherit her eyes, hair, complexion, or facial features — but not her shoes, blouse, handbag, or earrings. (Expensive earrings, maybe!)

You might think, “No, no, a girl isn’t thinking about having kids with some guy she just met,” or vice versa. But hold on — this isnʼt conscious.

I donʼt know if this is a problem most guys face, or if Iʼm just some genetic anomaly that is somehow immune to acrylic nails and handbags.

Well, on the rare occasion Iʼm actually impressed by some trinket, I now know what to do!

Maybe you luck out and she has a killer walk or some other standout behavior, but that’s 1 in 1000. What do you do with the other 999? Revert to a very genuine compliment on her physical features? I do most love those, but Iʼm told thatʼs not seductive.

He had a lot more theory behind his approach to opening with looks-based compliments. I love theory! The one issue with theory, of course, is that if you’re using it for something practical, like, say, putting girls in your bed, you need to turn your theory into testable hypotheses and test it out. Then test competing hypotheses. Then find which works best.

I can tell you, as most any other guy in the game can as well, that looks-based compliments are very suboptimal most of the time with girls (there are times and places and ways they can work. But in general you don’t want looks-compliments as your go-to).

Let’s look at why that is and what you can do instead, EVEN IF you don’t care a lick about women’s fashion choices (like our forum member).