(1) Beginner

Women can be pretty vague and confusing. Why are they so ambiguous in word and deeds? Three words: safety, flexibility, and POWER.

Hey guys. Welcome back. I hope you are all doing great.

Today, I’ll share a theory on female communication to clarify a question many men have: Why are women often ambiguous?

Why do they rarely give clear-cut answers? Why do they act so ambiguous about their interests? Why is it always a “maybe”?

“Get to the point!” is a line I hear frustrated men say to women. Yes, I have also been guilty of saying something along these lines to women, or I think it to myself.

Women convey “maybe” for many reasons. You hear her say: “Maybe we can meet on Monday,” “Maybe I love you,” or “Maybe we should do X.”

Aside from the “maybe,” which is a word that conveys ambiguity, sometimes, women’s behavior is ambiguous. They may show mixed signals or seem not to make up their minds. It gets frustrating. You want an answer, either “YES” or “NO.”

So, why do many women do that

For starters, women DO make up their minds and ARE decisive—in non-social settings. In professional settings, I rarely encounter this.

You may be asking: Is this indecisiveness due to biology? Perhaps. Biological factors are likely to be indirectly causing this. A nurturing nature, societal treatment, and how women are socialized have conditioned women to act like this, especially toward men.

I do not think it is due to irrationality. A fallacy you may have heard is that this behavior is due to women only being driven by emotions and that they are incapable of logically making up their minds. It’s a flawed (and honestly, sexist) stereotype about women being irrational.

Why does this fallacy exist? It’s a projection of male logic.

The man who excels with women is the one who possesses enough very positive reference experiences with them. These SHAPE his mind & behavior toward women!

Want to know an absolutely ENORMOUS secret behind every guy who’s successful with women?

The BIG secret behind guys who are ‘naturals’ who effortlessly clean up with women… and the guys who go on to be über-successful self-taught ladies men?

The single biggest secret, in fact, to rapidly progressing with women, even from the point of being a pure beginner?

Here it is:

The secret is positive reference experiences.

The more positive reference experiences you can build, the faster you build them, the more STRONGLY positive they are, and the higher a proportion of the feedback you’re receiving from women those positive experiences comprise, the faster you’ll progress to doing scarily well with girls.

New interview up on YouTube where I talk with Bro Psychology’s Alex.

We covered a huge range of topics in this interview, including:

• Female psychology
• Red pill thinking & catchphrases
• Modern women’s partner counts and sexual habits
• The rise & fall of the pickup industry
• How dating apps have affected the sexual landscape
• What I would change in the popular consciousness re: dating if I could

… and much, much more.

We were talking so long the sun went down!

There’s this girl you know and you haven’t had sex with her yet but you’re falling more and more in-love with her. Why does this happen & how does it work?

On a recent article of mine, a commenter asks about an all-too common scenario:

This is very weird situation...

When I've met this girl I was a virgin She is foreigner and she is older than me 7 years. I'm in early twenties

We went on two dates, and when I tried to kiss her she said to me that she can't that she is gay.

She said that she feels attraction to guys and she had two guys in younger age... problem to her is that she said how she couldn't connect emotionally with them and that they hurted her. She said that girls are better with that.

I've told her then we can be friends when some time passes. In meantime I've had my first sex with other girl and I was not a virgin...

Later on after 2 months first girl and I made a contact. Now we are hanging out again as a friends once a week, but I still feel attraction to her.

Now she looks a lot more recipient to me and lot more touchy to me. I'm not anxious anymore so vibe is better. Although she is Latin so it is maybe normal for touching .She is a great friend and really nice to me of course, but I'm still losing my mind sometimes and I don't know if she likes me or not. And I'm scared again to try to kiss her or tell her that.

(well, okay, maybe the bit about the girl saying she is gay and whatnot are not that common. But the overall theme of “boy meets girl, girl won’t put out, boy falls more and more in love with girl” is!)

Why does it happen that guys fall hard for these girls who duck them, dodge them, and lead them on – typically much harder than they fell for the girl when they first started going for her?

It is due to the magical phenomenon of investment; a phenomenon you yourself can make use of – or become as hopelessly ensnared and befuddled by as any other man.

Many guys dabble in talking to girls, flirting, and trying various ways to approach – only to soon give up. But if you want success, you must stick with it!

I’ve been thinking about this more lately, this idea that the vast majority of men “give up” on dating way, way too soon.

Right. Compounding effects… a few early good experiences give confidence; confidence is more attractive than anything else; more good experiences —> virtuous cycle.

Meanwhile, a few early bad experiences —> low confidence —> big attraction hit (few girls like the unconfident guy) —> more bad experiences, or the guy just totally withdraw and gets no experiences.

Usually the unconfident guys end up having very few real world experiences, don’t really “go for it” with girls at all, then end up looking for reasons why they’re all alone. They read stuff online from a bunch of women talking about “it just happens!” (because that’s how it happens for women; as a man, you have to go out and make it happen), decide it hasn’t happened to them because of [whatever shortcoming], and just retreat further in.

Hopefully at some point the guy has a rock bottom moment, shakes out of it, and says, “Screw this. I’m going to get what I want!” and starts throwing himself into it and learning as he goes.

Not all guys do though… which is very sad.

(we used to have societies where everyone was constantly encouraging young men to be go-getters. That’s totally broken down now. Human instincts only go so far… without guidance, it is very easy to get lost in the weeds)

— Girls Chase 🏃‍♀️💨 (@GirlsChase) October 21, 2024

Primarily this is due to the encouraging/discouraging effect of early experiences.

When you take a guy out on an approach bootcamp to get him meeting girls in-the-flesh, for instance, you want to engineer the bootcamp so he’s getting wins as fast as possible:

• Take him to venues you know the girls are receptive to meeting men.

• Send him into girls you can tell are likely open to meet someone or even actively shooting approach invitations.

• Give him simple things to do right away that he is not doing on his own that will immediately get him new, exciting progress with girls he is not used to hitting:

  • Smile on approach
  • Tease her right away
  • Move her right away
  • Isolate her after 5-10 minutes of conversation
  • Propose a venue bounce after 20-30 minutes

The reason you do this is to build momentum into his approaching, that way he keeps going out after the bootcamp ends. I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to take a guy out and take his money and then he never does it again after that outing. I want to help him to begin building a habit that’s going to change his life.

Most men aren’t going to take bootcamps, which means most men are going to be learning on their own. No problem if a guy is super driven or is a skilled learner who already knows how to set himself up for victory and habit formation.

Men who don’t fall in either camp though all too often end up quitting before they even get going – and that’s just sad.

Where and how you position yourself relative to a woman can make or break your seduction. Many guys try to “block women in” & cut off their exits. YOU want to do the OPPOSITE.

Last week, I discussed the importance of giving a girl the opportunity to opt out at any time, giving her a way to exit so she feels she may leave at any time.

The idea is not to motivate her to leave—quite the contrary. You want to make her feel secure. If she feels she has an easy way out, without consequences, you won’t get angry or create bad vibes; she will feel much more comfortable sticking with you.

In practice, she should always have an opportunity to exit, whether that’s your place, the conversation, or the venue, but she is likely to do so with good feelings about you when you make her feel more comfortable.

If you’d like empirical facts about how this works, consider any Girls Chase product you may have bought or similar products. You may be initially skeptical, especially if unfamiliar with the provider. They typically offer an option to unsubscribe anytime or a money-back guarantee. And those who provide this are confident with their product, meaning they know you will like it and won’t “leave” or “unsubscribe.” They gain the benefit of trust.

You may notice that those who offer no money back or ask you to commit usually do so because they are afraid to lose you. Often, it is because the product is substandard, and the only way to keep you is to lock you in. Yes, you will get mad when you dislike the service or product, but on their end, they at least got to cash in X amount, which is a success for them, considering you wouldn’t have stuck around anyway.

Good products offer a way out or a money-back guarantee. That’s not to say all products or services that do this are good, but all good products usually provide this.

So, if it’s a good product (an attractive guy; if you are not, become one), it allows you to use the same technique to establish trust.

Today, I’ll give practical tips you can use in your interactions to build more comfort. I’ll discuss other benefits of using this concept, too.

Opening with a complaint (“This line sure is long!”) can come naturally. But not everyone responds to it… because it’s NEGATIVE. Here’s how you fix that.

As we gear up for the launch of my novel new teasing method (you can watch video #1 on it – about the #1 common humor mistake to AVOID when talking to girls – right here), I’m going to be talking a fair bit about humor and teases.

Today we’ll talk about a specific type of opener: the optimistic complaint opener.

Before you can dive into a new conversation, first you need to start the conversation. We do this using what we call openers.

Most folks find situationally relevant openers the easiest to begin with. They’re low pressure; they make use of the environment for context; and they’re a breeze to come up with.

Perhaps the easiest situationally relevant opener to stumble upon is the ‘humorous complaint’ opener. This is where you point out something less-than-ideal about the situation you and a girl find yourselves in, and use it to begin a conversation.

For instance, if you’re in a long line at a coffee shop, you might lean in toward the girl in front of you and quip, “Sheesh, we’re going to be here all month!” If you’re at a bar with terrible music, you might tap the girl next to you and ask her, “Who wrote this music anyway, Helen Keller?”

While these openers can be creative, and they do fit the context you use them in, they still face one major drawback: they’re negative.

Yet, with a little inventiveness, we can fix it.