(1) Beginner

Spin is used to influence how others think about things. But are you using spin on your own thoughts? Odds are, you are – and it risks sabotaging you.

Some of my greatest teachers in seduction were my coworkers in car sales. In a world in which they were highly distrusted, they were still able to finagle hundreds of thousands of dollars from unassuming customers.

I personally do not condone some of the tactics I was taught, and I probably would not teach most of them for morality’s sake. But a few ideas and concepts were definitely worth teaching, and there is one in particular I would like to share with you today.

That particular technique is the technique called “spinning”; or, “taking off the market.”

You can reduce or eliminate rejection with a few simple adjustments. #1, test the water first. #2, approach in passing – and get rejected in passing too.

Hey guys. I hope you are doing great. I have had the luxury of time to head out regularly again. And whenever this happens, I tend to make observations – sometimes new ones – and sometimes I might be reminded of some interesting phenomenon requiring reflection.

This post, along with my upcoming posts, will be more practical. So I hope you ain’t dropping the field just because of the cold weather, because it is time to get practical... and hopefully you will get dirty.

This time I will discuss some dynamics when it comes to opening in clubs and bars. There are many step-by-step processes one might follow and different ways of opening (the never-ending discussion between direct and indirect opening) that all have their pros and cons.

Being centered offers one of the biggest leaps forward with dating, self, and life. There’s no easy way to it – it comes from enduring pain and trial.

The protagonist walks toward the camera, face emotionless, calm. Then suddenly an explosion erupts behind him. Does he flinch away from it. Does surprise touch his face. No. He stays calm as the world is blown to bits – and he’s seemingly untouched from it all as he nonchalantly walks toward the camera.

You have probably seen countless versions of this scene in quite a few movies, and it has probably sent goose bumps creeping up your arms as a side effect. What is it about this scene that puts us in such a state of awe?

Why is something like this so inspiring – and duplicated so many times over? Many of us would like to not just see this as a protagonist on the screen, but a hopeful reflection of ourselves. We want to be the guy who cannot be affected by the world no matter how chaotic it is. We want what we see on the television to be the reflection we see in the mirror. We want to be grounded just like that figure so often portrayed.

The concept of being grounded has always been the hardest for me to explain, let alone teach. It is one of those things I cannot show on a boot camp or fix over the course of days or even weeks. It is something you have to choose to do in your heart. Because, as cheesy as it sounds, only once you decide you are going to do what it takes to deepen this part of you, only then can you achieve it.

Firstly, what is being grounded – what makes a centered warrior? Think of waves crashing on rocks. Are the rocks strong and resolute, or are they weak and brittle? Do they stand for ages, or do they quickly become dislodged or shattered like obsidian? Or maybe it is a tree in a storm, standing tall and unbroken, maybe bending under the torrent of wind or outright being broken in half. The idea is that no matter what is thrown at you, you are always at ease, completely in control of your emotions.

When you talk to a stranger, this is one of the first things they may notice about your character, either consciously or subconsciously – not by what you do, but by what you don’t do. It is as simple as displaying a warm tone despite receiving anything but. A steady gaze. Lack of fidgeting. Being grounded is being unaffected when the surroundings get testy. When a guy is drunkenly belligerent and tries to push your buttons, do you let him? When a girl calls you ugly, do you care?

Howdy! I’m happy to bring you a special podcast I did directly myself with Glenn Pearce. Glenn’s one of the coaches I have the most respect for in the men’s dating advice industry – he’s even a guy I got coaching from myself a good 9 years back.

Girls teach you a lot when you try to talk to them, date them, or pick them up. They’re among the greatest teachers you’ll have, in fact.

In Drexel’s post yesterday on the top 3 reasons to pick up sober, he discussed pickup as a crucible through which you may purge demons and unlock total masculinity.

There are a few areas of life that shape and mold boys into men in their own unique ways:

• Group leadership (sports, clubs, politics, priesthood, military)
• Business operation (or in particular, business ownership)
• Teaching
  
• Fatherhood
• Cold approach pickup
  

None of these are guarantees. Plenty of men make it through any of these crucibles with gaping holes in their masculinity.

• The talented seducer who sobs over yet another girlfriend who’s ditched him, or flies into a rage when some girl dares reject him.

• The father who fails to discipline his children out of fear and instead raises dysfunctional adults.

• The leader who’s a leader in name only, and never learns to look out for anyone more than himself.

• The teacher who’s only in it for the paycheck, the power, or to indoctrinate and inculcate, versus the instructor who exists to challenge, spark curiosity, and open minds.
  

• The business operator or owner who cuts corners and does anything for a buck, leaving a trail of burned contractors, employees, and customers in his wake.

However the man who takes his cultivation serious can grow enormously in any of these roles... Far more so than he can in any other way.

That’s because central to each of these roles are two elements as crucial to succeeding with women as they are to succeeding as a man: the social crucible, and responsibility for more than one’s self.

Check the nightlife, and you’ll see almost every guy out to pick up girls is drunk or high. If you can do it sober, you give yourself a major competitive advantage.

Do you blaze, drink, or do lines when you go out and hit the club to chat up girls?

One year ago, William Gupta talked about the truth about taking drugs and hooking up.

After a decade in the Game, I've noticed something striking - almost nobody is sober. When guys learn and practice pick-up, they tend to be drunk, stoned, or both... and a lot of the guys gaming in clubs are, to put it bluntly, doing coke in the bathrooms in order to keep themselves "up" for the long haul of partying and hitting on women until 2 in the morning.

Before you think I'm just being some prude who can't have a good time, let me preface what I'm about to say by mentioning that I struggled with various forms of addiction for a full decade. I've been through the depths of that hell, I know what the demons look and sound like in your head, and I know precisely what kind of blade a man needs to sever them in half and regain his life from the abyss.

Now, before I get into my top 3 reasons to practice pick-up sober, I'll briefly explain why I think so many guys can't seem to perform this art without a little "chemical help" of some type. I believe that the primary reason so many guys do pick-up stoned or drunk... which REALLY became clear once I cleaned up my act and started living the sober life... is that pick-up is scary as hell.

How should I dress if I want to meet girls and look good? If you ask yourself this, you’re on the right track. That’s because styles change based on their target audience.

It’s that time of day again – time to go out and meet those beautiful women!

As you’re getting prepared you hit the shower, brush your teeth, shave or style your facial hair, then style your haircut and maybe spray on some cologne.

You’re feeling refreshed, and as you look in mirror you can’t help but catch yourself thinking “Looking good, man, looking damn good.”

Then you open your wardrobe to choose the outfit for the occasion.

Except, which one?

Most of us have our favorite go-to outfits that we rely on to get the job done as we’re heading out to hit the streets, a bar, or a club, or simply for meeting that cute girl over drinks later in the afternoon.

We go for this outfit (or outfits) without much conscious thought and hope that the overall image we end up with will work well enough to give us a chance to work our magic. At least this is how most guys tend to approach their image and style.

But with this article I would like to give you an alternative, showing you that you can use your image – the way you dress and present yourself to the world – as an advantage to do some of the “heavy lifting” before you even get a chance to open your mouth.

On top of that, I want to show you firsthand how much control you really have over how you appear to the world and how easy it is to better manage the first impressions you’re making when you’re out in the field.

My last goal with this article is to debunk the myth of “the perfect look” and “one-size-fits-all” advice, then help you answer a seemingly simple question: “How should I dress?”