(1) Beginner

Women are supposed to like money. So why don’t nice cars, jobs, and apartments always get men laid?

In June 2006, I graduated university and took a job. I had an important-sounding job at a prestigious corporation. Everyone knew the name of this company, and everyone knew it was a great company. At the time, I had a less nuanced notion of status more than I do now, and I figured my great job for a high status corporation would net me major points on the dating scene. After five months of grinding it out in college town nightclubs three or four nights a week as just another student trying to pick up girls, now, at last, I had the magic pass: I was a high prestige, high status, money-making machine!

My first month in my new town of Washington, D.C., I made sure every girl I met found out where I worked and what I did. I did it in a smooth way; I wasn’t socially awkward about it. I made sure the girl asked me first where I worked, before I said anything. Most seemed impressed; I’d often get raised eyebrows and a pleasant, “Oh!” And when, after a few weeks, I received my business cards, I felt confident I was about to become unstoppable with girls. I often took to handing these out to women after I’d made a great first impression, confident they’d fast get back in touch.

Yet within a month, I’d stashed my business cards away in the corner of a cabinet somewhere; not a single girl I’d given a card to had texted or called (and I’d given out a lot of cards). I quit mentioning my company or position to girls altogether. But I hadn’t learned my lesson quite yet. A year-and-a-half later, I went down the same status symbol road with my sleek Mercedes-Benz, and ended up at the same destination: after a month or so of showing it off, I soon shelved “the Mercedes approach” and began to hide my car from girls instead.

The reason why was the same both times: when women found out I had a good job, or a nice car, they didn’t put out. Dates were more awkward; sex would not happen. Sexual vibes were almost impossible to create.

These status symbols, impressed as my friends and coworkers were, worked against me with women.

That’s the paradox: make more money, buy more expensive things, and... get laid less.

But why should this be, when everything you see on TV, the commercials, and the movies says it’s supposed to work completely opposite to this?

Are you born talented, or do you learn it? Varoon reviews the book… plus why some men succeed as others flounder.

Throughout the history of the Girls Chase boards, I and some others have noticed two kinds of people who post:

• Guys who ask few specific questions but are desperate to become perfect in dating right away, hoping to get from A to Z – right away, right now. They fixate on acquiring all the information ASAP to “beat the final boss” in the dating game, yet they never seem to post reports or focus on specific areas they need help with. They don’t want to play the game and learn it themselves over time, as all woman-experienced men have done. Over a period of months, they ask the same questions over and over without ever field testing advice given by guys with experience. Typically they get frustrated over their lack of results... and quit.

• Guys who put forth specific situations and ask very specific questions, then listen to and immediately follow the advice they get. These guys have accepted and evaluated their current strengths and weaknesses, and they know exactly where they need to grow. These guys are asking lots of questions that are very pointed to specific areas needing improvement, and after they learn something new, they go field test it, over and over until they get it right. These guys have field reports popping up repeatedly with new questions or new skills. They post frequently but also demonstrate improving results.

I’ve always noticed that those men who’ve grown steadfastly and quickly tend to be the second type of guy. And in addition to the big pushes from Chase and others to go and practice rather than simply reading GC and learning, I discovered that I and those men have grown more through focused effort. In effect, we were training our behavior through live practice and feedback from the women around us.

Then I started reading Talent is Overrated by Geoff Colvin. This book argues that no human being is inherently talented; instead, we become extraordinary only through focused and deliberate effort. Everything clicked.

We’ve talked about this before in How to Master Anything. One of the tools that will get you the best, most consistent results in the long term in ANY field or exercise – including the art of attracting women – is deliberate practice.

This article comes at the request of a reader, but given that ~40% of men experience hair loss by thier mid-thirties, I’m sure plenty of you will find it useful.

And I would like to start this piece with a graph from a recent survey detailing the most attractive male body parts:

Source: Dr. Felix

Now, as with all similar surveys, the results should be taken with the grain of salt, but it’s interesting nonetheless.

Note the percentage of women who said they find hair to be the most attractive feature on a man: 22%, second only to the chest.

Cool, right?

So, does that mean that once your hair has receded past the point of no return, you’re pretty much screwed? Not at all.

On the contrary, a lot of guys end up realizing that going bald actually improves their look. It makes them look more dominant, masculine, tough – a neat combination, don’t you think?

Just read William Gupta’s thoughts on the topic. (Highly recommended)

For others, however, going bald means that they end up looking sickly, older, or just straight-up goofy and weird.

With this piece, I’ll be sharing some practical tips to make sure that once you make the decision to go bald, you’re in the former category, not the latter.

What do you do if you have a small penis? Does size actually matter to women? See what the science says… And how to stop worrying about this.

In “Men are Penetrators. Women are Receivers”, Pedro García requests:

“Chase,

It would be greatly appreciated if you did an article on penis size. I know that it seems pretty random(or maybe it’s seeing the word penetrate a lot in this article) but I think that it’s a topic that needs to discussed... Please craft something of that nature in the future. Thank you!”

And in “How Can I Get to the Sex Part?”, a reader named PH asks, in part:

“Could you do an article on penis size? I was thinking a lot of guys have an average size penis because average is average so how does that compare to guys who have bigger ones v smaller ones for seducing a girl or a relationship.

My biggest hang up is having a relationship with a girl who has been with a bigger-package guy and I can’t compete because she can never feel it as much as the other guy so she’ll never have as good a time haha. ”

So today we’ll cover penis size.

This is a somewhat weird topic to touch, because it folds in a bunch of men in different places. Men affected by small penis concerns include:

• Men whose penises may or may not be small, but they’re worried they are

• Men whose penises actually are small, and they’re worried about this

• Men who struggled to get women off, and fear maybe their penises are small

Further, this is almost exclusively a sexually inexperienced man problem. I’ve yet to meet or hear of a man with 15+ lays who worries much or at all about his length or girth. I’m sure there are a few out there, but they’re pretty darn rare. Regardless whether your penis is small or not, once you’ve been with enough women, you usually don’t much care about this.

In a way, it’s kind of like being the beginning piano player who worries his fingers are too thick. Or the rookie running back whose 40-yard dash is below average and worries he might not get picked for a team. Once you’re getting results in the thing, these concerns melt away because they stop being relevant.

So, my general advice to guys is, “Worry about doing better with girls, work on your sexual technique so you are getting girls off regularly... and you are not going to care about this anymore once you do.”

If you don’t care about the details, and just want the gist, that’s it right there. You can stop reading here. Go level up with girls, go level up your bedroom technique, and you’ll think it was silly you ever worried about penis length or thickness.

But if that isn’t enough for you, and you’re talking yourself out of talking to girls because you’re afraid they’ll be disappointed with your manhood, or you won’t be able to satisfy them, then lets disabuse you of those notions.

We’ll begin today with a look at where science stands on penis size, and go from there.

In this episode of Dating Mechanics, I talk with Dr. David Tian, PhD holder, founder of Aura Dating Academy, and good friend of our own Chase Amante for over 10 years.

Ejaculation needn’t be the end of sex. It’s possible to control your ejaculation, to make sex far more pleasurable… For you AND her.

Human sexuality can be as simple or as complex as we desire. In our media and popular culture the parameters of sexuality are often dumbed down. One night stands are promoted as we grow up in the “get drunk, party, fuck” environment portrayed throughout media, artificial pleasures like porn and toys endure, and the purpose of sex becomes either short-lived hedonistic gratification or family rearing procreation.

Lost is a spiritual element informing how our sexual organs are wired straight to our brain and how our whole body is linked sexually... how our mental state can be affected through sexuality... and how our sexuality can be influenced by our mind.

Cultures of long ago had stumbled upon this knowledge, creating foundations for healthy human sexuality – the Kama Sutra, Tantra, Karezza to name a few – but all are commonly misunderstood in today’s society (e.g., the Kama Sutra is not just a book of sex positions). Today we settle for short, five-minute shags where the man ejaculates hard and fast, and the girl doesn’t cum HARD in a way that opens her psyche – it’s over, and we move on.

By connecting the realm of the brain – spirituality and emotions – with those of our physiology and sexuality – our genitals and how we use them with a partner – we can create a new level of awareness that ties pleasure with raising our level of awareness and purpose. We can create and deliver earth-shattering orgasms that transform our psyche and leave us with replenishing instead of wasted energy.

Today’s book review of The Enlightened Sex Manual by David Deida begins with this powerful statement:

“Good artists are skilled, but great artists convey an immense depth of feeling through their expertise. The same goes for the art of sex. A good lover knows how to make the body sing, But a great lover, a superior lover, evokes a vast choir of bliss…The Enlightened Sex Manual shows how to transform the often willy-nilly flow of stimulated genital energy into a profound depth of feeling, openness, and embodied ecstasy.”

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Hey there! Varoon Rajah here. Welcome to the Girls Chase Dating Mechanics Podcast, my show on the Girls Chase channel. For today’s podcast, we have longtime Girls Chase contributor Alek Rolstad.

Alek’s back for a rip-roaring look at picking up girls at nighttime. Included in this interview is an example pickup of Alek’s, and a few of Alek’s incredible sexual game techniques.