Beginner daters, socializers, and seducers start here
Males of every animal species must practice and learn courtship rituals before they’re able to mate. The art of learning to court is a ubiquitous one – it is not human-only! Images created with Craiyon.I’m reading a truly fascinating, mind-expanding book right now entitled The Mating Mind.
Lying is one of those things people get really irate about at times.
Everybody does. Guys do when girls do it. Girls get really upset about guys doing it to them, too.
This is just a human thing… telling lies… yet SOME people do it a lot more than OTHERS.
How do you know if the girl you’re talking to is as honest as they come… or if she’s a conniving little scamp?
Furthermore, why DO girls lie – and is there anything you can do to dissuade them from it?
Your luck surface area is the amount you expose of yourself for “lucky events” to happen. Men who open themselves up to more seductive luck enjoy more seductive “lucky breaks.”Luck plays a role in everything. In seduction, your passive attractiveness (fundamentals) and skill with women and the mating process (game) have a huge impact on your success.
Nevertheless, there is still always going to be luck involved: you have to stumble into a girl you like, she has to be at least somewhat open to having something happening with you, she must be logistically available to have something happen, and you need to avoid any seduction-killing wild cards (and if you’re fortunate, luck into some seduction-enhancing ones).
There are all manner of things that impact your “ability to be lucky”:
Perhaps your favorite venue just shut down for repairs (luck = lowered)
Perhaps a friend texts to invite you to a wild, girl-filled after party (luck = raised)
Perhaps your wingman’s out of town and you’re not good at solo (luck = lowered)
Perhaps you get off at the wrong metro station and discover this one crawls with good-looking women (luck = raised)
But you don’t really have control over random events like this… right?
As a matter of fact, there’s a neat concept known as “luck surface area” that you may or may not have heard of.
This concept is simple: one can increase one’s luck by increasing the ‘surface area’ one exposes for fortunate events to occur.
If that sounds abstract, worry not, for we’re going to make it a lot more concrete.
More and more blockbusters feature “deconstruction” of established strong characters. This isn’t a good thing – it is harmful for viewers uncritically absorbing this nonsense.I’ve recently found myself watching fewer and fewer recent movies.
We discussed it on the forum a while back. I mentioned in that thread that:
The way I think of it is most modern movies are being made for someone other than me.
I don't know exactly whom their target audience is, but it's definitely not a guy like me.
Many modern film themes are increasingly puerile. Their cultural revolutionary elements are stifling, jammed into every other scene and made as blatant and jarring as possible, seemingly deliberately aimed at breaking immersion.
On top of that, they all just feel hollow.
When I watch most modern movies, I come out of it feeling like I’ve spent two hours in a brainwashing chamber, and the only way to get un-brainwashed is to watch an old movie. Then a few days later I watch an old movie and it’s a breath of fresh air… the world makes sense again, all is as it should be, and everything returns to normal.
It isn’t every single modern movie that has this “brainwashed” effect I’ve found – it’s just a lot of them.
What, then, is the difference, between modern “brainwash” movies and non-brainwash modern movies plus older cinema?
Recently I began to really dig into the thematic differences between modern vs. older cinema, and it’s become increasingly clear what modern films are doing that, in my view, is just straight up poisonous to the healthy male’s psychology.
I’ve talked to you before about how the media influences thoughts and feelings. I’ve advised you to turn off the screens and limit the amount of time you spend on them.
Today I want to show you just what is going on beneath the surface in some of these “harmless” popcorn movies you are absorbing into your skull.
A man may be focused on what he wants… or he may be focused on what others want. Too extreme a focus on either of these leads to dysfunction in his social life.In any kind of social situation, there are two considerations you may have:
“What do I want?”
“What do you want?”
Many of the problems people have dealing with other people come from leaning too heavily onto one or the other of these.
When someone is too nice, or too big a pushover, or too unassertive, it is generally because he is overly focused on the question of “What do you want?”
When on the other hand someone is too rude, or too pushy, or too imposing, it is generally because he is overly focused on the question of “What do I want?”
Getting this balance right is a major milestone in better social results.
Planning a date’s logistics out is one of the biggest boons you can give your dating. Map the initial spot, the inter-date route, and 3 more date facets for a big romantic boost.What’s the difference between a date with preplanned logistics versus one where you simply pick a place and go?
The difference is often HUGE… with a bevy of key benefits for the preplanned dater.
In light of our 50% off “Summer of Lovelies” One Date sale, and the two limited edition Date Flows I’ve made available with a One Date purchase during this sale (you can also claim them here if you already own One Date), I’m putting out a few different pieces on dates and date planning.
Some of the most prolific daters have established date templates they use over and over again with the women they take out, because those templates simply work:
They know where to meet a girl
They know where to take her
They know where to go with her after the first place
They have a backup venue to take her if she needs more time
They may have various locations they can use to “seal the deal”
You don’t have to be in your home city or town to take advantage of logistical preplanning, either. Preplanning your date logistics is something you can do anywhere.
It’s something you ought to do, everywhere, too… because it just offers so many benefits it’d be silly not to.
Some mistakes really doom a conversation. Make any of these too early on, and your impression will be toast – along with the conversation.A while back a reader named Xander, talking about some of his flirtations, asked about mistakes people make in early conversation that spell the end of those conversations:
I have seen that if girl is attracted to guy every mistake he makes is forgiven to him and if she isn’t she will intentionally look for things she dislike and reasons to behave bad. [...] Many times, I was in situation that girl from the beginning starts to look for reasons to be annoyed. [...] Some examples: I would disagree about some irrelevant topic during conversation and girl would be really pissed off and even start to shake from anger. They would ask me for my age and if difference is higher then few years they would criticize me about too different for them, etc.
There is an element of that that is true; if someone simply doesn't like you, it will be a lot easier for you to trigger a negative reaction with that person than it would be if you were liked.
Why is that? Well, we tend to give the people we like the benefit of the doubt. If someone you like makes an error, you arrive at the most charitable assumption as to why.
When someone you dislike makes an error, however, you're a lot more likely to assume ugly reasons or motivations for it, or that you and this person just aren't compatible.
This is true even for very fair-minded individuals (and even more so for the hot-tempered among us!).
This article won't be completely focused on 'liking', but if you follow the steps in it you'll be more liked, too.
Our chief focus today is on mistakes that damage conversations with other people -- in particular, those mistakes you make early on, when that first impression is still subject to change.
We'll cover two types of conversation mistakes below:
General mistakes that apply to all the conversations you'll have with anyone
Flirtation mistakes that apply to your romantic conversations with prospective paramours
On with it!
Is it normal for a girlfriend to keep pics and other reminders of her ex-boyfriend? To some degree, but if she’s always looking at them or bringing him up, it’s a problem.Commenting on my recent article about the Feminine Interest Spectrum, reader Fanfun asked about what to do when a girlfriend has pictures of her ex-boyfriend (or other past lovers).
He says:
Will you make an article on how to behave when the girl you are with has archived photos with her ex or old photos or otherwise things prior to the relationship that she says she keeps as a memory but that still convey a public message and one of respect towards you? How to deal with you in this regard?
I asked for a little more detail on the issue, and he expanded:
My thought is that if he still has photos with him both on social media and in the gallery he still has some relevance and danger like any other memory like a song connected to him, it would be interesting an article about how to deal with it even if we do not catch it (and that therefore means that he could or could not think about it or review any type of memory such as photos keep t-shirts etc)) the fact of still having of the material, how to act? And how could we do if if he already has many experiences connected to a guy to make us love more or / and forget others?
My first response was that this isn't really worth worrying about.
But I considered it a bit more, and the reality is that it really does depend.
It depends on how attached she is to the ex in question. It depends on how romantic/nostalgic she is. It depends, too, on how likely a threat this man from the past is to your current relationship with her.
Why do women have sex – is it in hopes of a relationship or because the guy is hot? Urges, pleasure, loneliness, experimentation… women’s true sexual motivators may surprise you.Lately I'm noticing more comments from readers who seem to conclude women have sex mainly because they're hoping for a long-term relationship.
One recent comment seemed to suggest a woman wouldn't have sex at all unless she thought it would lead to a relationship. Any sexual encounter not leading to one, this reader seemed to suggest, was a zero-sum loss on the woman's side of things.
Long-time readers here will know women have a variety of reasons for engaging in sex, and a woman angling for a relationship with a man is only one of them.
I've spooled off women's various reasons for going to bed with men numerous times on Girls Chase before.
Today, however, I figured I'd put some numbers to them.
So, I dug up a 1999 study that examined women's motives for engaging in short-term sexual encounters, including:
One-night stands (sex on one occasion)
Flings (sex more than once with the same individual)
Casual sexual relationships like friends with benefits
I ranked the top 10 most common reasons women say they slept with a new man, and also pulled out a few interesting bonus reasons and looked at how they compare to the top 10.
Put your seatbelt on, because we're diving into the sultry world of female desire.
Are you scared to talk to hot girls? Don’t chicken out for the best-looking chicks. Use these 5 keys to chat up THE hottest girls today. After all – they’re only girls!On a recent article of mine, a reader named Johnny writes
Hey Chase,
I noticed something in my approach with girls and even socialize.
I tend to hit on girls that are not super cute rather than going for the ones I find really good looking.
It isn't that I'm intimidated by hotter girls. I've eliminated almost all of my approach anxiety. I can chat them up, flirt with them.
But when it comes to pursuing them, I don't. And after drilling my thoughts, I realised that it's really about the fear of failure.
This is a very common sticking point guys have, especially guys who are active socializers enough to recognize their own patterns.
If you're regularly out there meeting new women, you may come to realize you're doing something like this over time: only approaching the 'cute' ones, because you are afraid to talk to hot girls.
Like our commenter, it might not even be that you are intimidated by the girl herself, but that you anticipate failure with her, and fear that failure... or don't even see a point to trying, because you KNOW (or so you think) that of course you will fail.
So you might as well stick to going for the girls you can get.
Well, it might blow your mind, but hot girls go for all KINDS of guys, including guys just like you... at least some of the time.
How're you going to find a good-looking girl who'll go out with little ol' you?
Step number one is you've got to talk to her. Because without that, you'll never get beyond a glance and a smile.
What can you do to get yourself approaching those knockouts and stunners you see, instead of letting them walk on by?
There are five (5) things you need to know that, once you know them, will make being afraid to talk to hot girls, or being afraid to fail with good-looking girls, a part of your distant past.
