(1) Beginner

Many sexually inexperienced men tend toward dogmatic, unrealistic views of women. Why is this so, and how do you get a firmer grasp of feminine realities?

Over the years, our staunchest critics and most vociferous opponents to seduction advice have been not women (many of whom say they like this site) nor sexually and romantically experienced men (who always find something they like here, even if they do not agree with absolutely everything) but men who are sexually inexperienced. Often it doesn’t come out until later in the debate that the guy doesn’t actually have much experience with women – or any at all.

They maintain generalities like:

• “Women only want [some specific thing, usually looks, money, height, race, or status]”

• “Women are really all [some specific trait – dominating, submissive, born liars, born trustworthy unless/until corrupted by evil seducer men]”

• “You can’t get a woman if you [some alleged handicap – aren’t of the same culture, are N years older or younger than her, aren’t willing to do some certain act like pay for meals, etc.]”

To any man with a modicum of romantic experience, the positions sexually inexperienced men hew so firmly to seem extreme, one dimensional, dogmatic, and unrealistic. The inexperienced man views romance as a caricature, warped all out of proportion with its reality.

He is, in other words, clueless.

Not every sexually inexperienced man is dogmatic in his certainty of how everything he has yet to experience in full works. Plenty of men are open-minded. But plenty more are not.

Why should this be so, though? Why can’t a man just read a few things, watch a few things, and know all there is to know about a subject? Why aren’t all men inexperienced in a thing open-minded about the things they have not much experienced?

No guy likes to get rejected by girls. So, use these tactics to slice your odds of rejection by making things casual, asking before big moves, plus 4 more.

I’m going to talk in this article about a handful of tactics you can use to minimize rejection the odds of a girl rejecting you.

Is it important to minimize these odds? Do you want them shaved down as low as possible? Well it depends:

• For beginners it can be fairly important. You want to get those positive experiences up so you feel confident to do more

• As you gain in experience, you can start to go in bolder, being more resilient and not as easily shaken by rejections, IF you want (you may not always want to). You’ll also tend to be smoother in general, and will have more tools to avoid or minimize rejections aside from those in this article

Still, even if you’re more advanced, rejection never feels GREAT, so anything you can do to reduce the odds of it (so long as it doesn’t derail anything else you’re doing) helps.

Inviting a woman home with you is an art of itself. One part of this art is giving her plausible deniability. And one part of THAT is in seeding the pull.

Hey guys. I hope you are doing well.

Today I’ll discuss a technique that will increase your odds of having her say yes to going somewhere with you—whether it’s back to your place, her place, or another bar or location.

We call this extraction or “pulling.” It’s when you move a girl from one place to another. This differs from isolation and getting her away from her friends, usually within the venue, often in night game. Isolation can be challenging because you want to move her away from her friends. And extraction is difficult because you want to leave the venue and go somewhere else, often to your place, which she may not be comfortable with for many reasons.

Note: Isolating a girl and get getting away from her friends by bringing her back to your place counts as isolation and extraction (you can isolate through extracting). Both are crucial to master.

What’s cool is that the technique shared here is useful for both isolation and extraction. However, due to isolation’s slightly different nature, I will elaborate on how to use the technique in a future post.

The best part: this technique is deadly efficient and easy to pull off. It isn’t complex or risky; even beginners can and should use it.

Let’s begin with a recap (to go straight to the technique, skip the first section and start at “Seeding the Pull”).

This post is suited for everyone, irrelevant of skillset.

Has anxiety to make an approach frozen up your attempts to meet girls? There’s a simple solution to getting around it: change up your objectives.

A friend of mine recently got back into cold approach after a long hiatus.

He’s made some approaches. Some have went well. But on the whole, he’s reentry into game has been stymied by something he never had to deal with much before: approach anxiety.

We discussed what the source of his anxiety was, since there are a few different flavors. Most guys get anxious about approaching girls… but the root “why” of it takes some slightly different forms.

In his case, he’s a bit out-of-shape and feels unconfident women will want to meet his unconfident (and now older) self. But on top of this, he fears that if he approaches unconfidently, and is rejected, he’ll grow even less confident… making his next approach even more likely to fail… making his confidence fall farther still.

I call this the “downward spiral” fear: if you start approaching without confidence in yourself, you’re only putting yourself on a downward spiral that leads to a total collapse in confidence and the inability to so much as look at a girl ever again.

You can get trapped with this form of anxiety for a long time, though.

That’s because in order to GET confidence, you have to have some successful approaches.

To have some successful approaches, you have to approach.

Yet… to approach… well… you can’t do that until you have the confidence you’d get from successful approaches, right?

It’s a Catch-22: you can’t do the thing until you get the results you get from doing the thing. But you can’t get results until you do the thing.

So, you’re trapped.

There’s a way out of this trap, however.

But to get there, we have to go deeper.

Ready to start speaking sexy?

If you haven’t been following along over at GirlsChase.TV, we’ve got three new videos up on speaking with a sexier voice.

They include lessons on:

• The basics of vocal fundamentals

• Speaking louder and with clarity

• Adding depth, resonance, and purr

You may never have worked on voice much, but after THESE lessons you’ll be well on your way to a super smooth, alluring voice.

Two of these are Premium-only, for Premium viewers – but the intro lesson where I give you the overview of what goes into speaking sexily is free even if you aren’t a Premium subscriber.

Here’s a little bit about what you’ll discover in each vocal fundamentals lesson:

Did you meet a cute girl but not really flirt with her or ask her out? Then later you texted her to ask her out but she blocked you? Here’s why it happens.

I keep seeing guys do this, so I guess it’s worth devoting its own article to to put an end to.

Some guy on Reddit writes that meeting women in real life is hard, after he tries asking a woman he met in real life out in a not-real-life medium:

I got this keyboard from this girl from buy nothing and when I picked it up I noticed she was really pretty so when I got home I messaged her again saying I thought she was pretty and asking if she was single. Then without a word she blocks me. What should I do differently in the future to not make her uncomfortable enough to block me? What can I do different to get a gf from it if that happens in the future?

There’s no mention there of whether she seemed to be interested in him or not. My guess is if she was he would’ve put that in. So obviously the odds are already stacked against him in this one.

Hey, we’ve all got to start somewhere.

But he goes and pulls the ultimate scaredy-cat move:

Met her in-person, didn’t ask her out, waited until he’d left her side, then texted her asking her out later. Cringe.

What’s so bad with that?

Nothing at all, nothing at all… well, assuming you want her to see you as cowardly and sneaky.

If you don’t want her to see you as cowardly and sneaky, you should never, ever ask a girl out over text who you COULD HAVE asked out in-person.

It can feel good to flirt with girls. Yet if you take no action, there’s no point kidding yourself it will lead anywhere. You must make moves to get girls.

A few weeks ago one of our forum members shared a text conversation he had where the girl told him she just wanted to be friends. He asked whether he’d made his intentions too obvious too soon or if this was just a girl looking for orbiters.

He said little about his initial interaction with her, except to say they had a 30-minute chat in a supermarket. During the chat, he said, the girl was flirtatious and excited, talking so loudly for that whole 30 minutes that everybody watched them.

My instinct – which he then confirmed – was that he just stood there with her for 30 minutes in the supermarket, chatting and flirting, then grabbed her number and departed.

That is to say, he did NOT:

• Instant date the girl

• Move her around inside the supermarket

• Get her sitting down somewhere with him (even just outside)

• Close the distance some and escalate on her physically

All he did was stand around and flirt.

Then after 30 minutes of this, he took her number.

Now, this member’s text game needs some serious work as well. So the initial interaction was not the only flaw. But it’s the most important one. Bad texting can be overcome with a great initial interaction. A bad initial interaction won’t be overcome even with the best texting in the world.

The mistake he made is one I see lots of guys make… and one I made too many times myself as a novice too:

Mistaking flirtation for escalation.