The other day a forum member shared a video where a YouTuber approached a woman in the London tube. The approach went okay to a point; the YouTuber was a bit overly gamey, but the girl hung in there and tried to help him out, until they reached a point where he gave a really bad answer to a question she asked.
The question she asked was, “Are you single?”
His reply was to waffle a bit, hemming and hawing, before concocting a vague reply about his relationship status being a “gray area” (perhaps properly spelt ‘grey’ considering the YouTuber’s point of origin), then declaring to the girl that, “For you, single.”
This answer was terrible in a lot of ways:
It showed fear and uncertainty about saying the “wrong” thing (in other words, fear and uncertainty about how she might react – fear that he would “blow it”)
It showed evasiveness that made it seem like he has something to hide (not attractive)
It gave her unearned special privileges, with him telling her that “For her” he would give her availability he did not give to other women – but what has she done to earn that? So far, nothing
But above all it was bad because he triggered the question himself, yet did not have a reply to it.
He triggered the question by putting her on the spot with that question himself a moment earlier… then was totally unprepared when she asked him the same exact question right back.
After some awkward polite conversation more, the YouTuber went for the number close, at which point the girl wryly brought up his earlier “gray area” comment, telling him that perhaps when he’d figured his gray area out, they might run into each other again.
(I really like this girl. She was super cool. She tried to help him all through the approach, and even at the end she told him exactly what put her off and gave him a chance to fix it. All he was able to do was say that he was chasing her and that she should just give him her number anyway without even trying to handle her objection)
Today’s article is about such ‘triggered questions’:
How you can trigger questions yourself, what you can do with them, and also that all-important rule every time you trigger a question: be prepared to answer it (and all its variations) yourself!
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