(1) Beginner

You’ve met a girl, chatted her up, but now she and her friends want to head somewhere else. Should you go with her, or stay where you are?

Sometimes you will be out meeting girls, and a girl declares she’s leaving with her friends, but invites you to come along. Should you go with her?

I’ve taken girls up on these offers plenty of times. I’ve declined these offers from girls plenty more times. And the simplest answer to this question is, “It depends.”

What it depends on, and whether to go with her and those friends of hers or to decline, is the subject of today’s post.

Victim mentality will paralyze a man with women. But why do men end up in it at all? What is the force that stops a man from going out to get what he wants?

For a long time, I’ve sought to understand the reason why so many men find themselves trapped in victim mentality, helpless to bring the things they want into their lives. If you could just find a way to reach such men you could enable them to attain results that will always remain out-of-reach for them so long as they remain apathetic. But often, you never can.

Even though I spent many years this way myself, I’ve never completely understood the cause. I had a safe, loving upbringing… I was never bullied that badly… I even had quite a few opportunities to hang with the cool guys or date the pretty, popular girls in junior high and high school… but I still ended up withdrawn, despairing, and hopeless. Why?

I’ve talked on Girls Chase before about the need for men to unplug from screens that inculcate them with these behaviors that train up helplessness. I’ve talked about media mind control and becoming an independent thinker. Yet I’ve heard from some men that even after they did these things, and totally unplugged, while it helped them improve somewhat, they still dealt with problems of apathy and inaction.

There must be something else that is causing so many modern men to struggle so mightily with women.

I’ve discovered what looks like it’s the missing piece of the puzzle – and believe it or not, it’s not anything men have done wrong themselves, or that women have done to them, or even that The System has consciously done… rather, it is a part of the civilization lifecycle, and it is very hard to resist.

Cold approaching women you don’t know is hard. If you lack the required social skills and mentality to make it work, you’ll burn out of it quick.

On the forum, we have a thread where a member posted to ask “what happens to guys who just don’t get results with women?”

At first I thought he was one of those guys with thousands of approaches under his belt who was struggling to even get dates or lovers at all. We see guys like that sometimes. Usually they have some kind of social handicap, such as being somewhere on the autism spectrum.

But it turned out this member had a different problem: he’d made very, very few approaches to women. He said he’d only chatted up somewhere between “20-30 lifetime approaches”, and that after “getting blown out all day” he ended up “coming home in tears.” He hasn’t made a cold approach in three years.

If you’re new to cold approach world, 20-30 approaches is nothing. Every major contributor to Girls Chase has thousands of approaches under his belt… many of us have somewhere between 5,000 to 15,000 approaches. Alek Rolstad is famous for a 5-to-1 meet-to-lay ratio (i.e., sleeping with 1 out of every 5 girls you approach) under certain conditions. But that is only once you’re advanced, and only under proper conditions (i.e., high momentum).

Every guy goes through much worse ratios than that when starting out: 30-to-1, 50-to-1, 100-to-1, 200-to-1 or even worse… it depends where you’re starting out at and what’s already good vs. what needs patching up.

This forum member’s experiences took me back to my start in cold approach… one in many ways similar to his. And I think it’s worth making the point that if you’re a pure social beginner, cold approach is probably not where you should be starting out.

It’s good to want to move things forward with girls. But if the way you do it is pushy, you will scare girls off. Here’s how to move ahead sans pushiness.

A while ago I saw a thread on Reddit and saved it for a future tactics article.

In it, a guy talks about having 50-100 women he’s met and tried to text out onto dates, but failed, saying girls ghost him every single time. He says it’s always the same scenario… he tries not to be pushy, saying this:

I really tried not to be pushy/move too quickly, but usually, in my experience, it is best to follow up quickly and set up a get-together quickly rather than waiting a week and being completely forgotten.

When someone says, “I really try not to X, BUT,” 99.9991896% of the time the problem he is having is X (whatever X may be).

When I opened this guy’s example text conversation up – yep, the problem is just as suspected; he is being pushy with girls.

Today’s article will be about how to not be that, so you can recognize if you are, and knock off doing it (so you quit scaring women away with pushiness).

When you qualify a girl, you let her know what you like about her. Employ these five (5) different qualifiers to move your seductions forward more easily.

Hi there, and welcome back. Today I will discuss qualification. We’ve covered this topic in multiple posts, and all approach it from different angles. They are all fantastic reads, and mastering qualification will benefit you irrelevant of your skill level (I will recap why shortly). It may not fall under “fundamentals,” but consider it more of a fundamental technique.

So, I intend to provide a “straight to the point” and “cut the crap” post on qualification. Like my earlier fractionation post, I want this to be a “simply explained” post.

If you want to delve deeper into qualification, take a look at our other posts. I’ve shared links at the end of this article.

Expert text message banter takes a bit of skill – & a good handle on the text bantering rules! Follow these 10 vital rules to make your text banter BETTER.

One of the guys on our forum is getting back into dating after a long hiatus in a relationship.

He posted a text message interaction of his he had with a girl who hinted at some availability to meet him… but after the last of his messages she left him on read.

There were a few key mistakes he made in his text message banter that stood out quite clearly (chalk it up to being rusty). I figured we ought to do an article on text message banter rules.

If you follow these rules, you’ll be able to avoid the most common pitfalls men face text message bantering with girls. You’ll get more of the girls you want out on dates, instead of your text messages left on read.

Many girls are great at hooking guys in with ‘girl game’. If it always feels like you’re ‘almost there’ with her, but you NEVER get there… that’s girl game.

Some girls have really good game.

They’re able to keep guys hooked, with those guys orbiting around them, providing tons of value to their lives, while they dangle the perpetual hope of romance (or other entanglements) just out of reach.

In fact, until you reach the upper echelons of seduction skill, you will always be playing catchup to the savviest women… and in fact even at the upper echelons, depending on what places you frequent, you will still run into women who are nearly your equals.

Most guys don’t seem to be able to recognize ‘girl game’ for what it is: a set of seduction tricks designed to lead a man into a role the woman wants him in… which, most of the time, will not be sexual or romantic (though it can be; it depends on what she wants from him).

Today I’ll shed some light on what it looks like when you’re being gamed by girls – so you can spend your time on women where the connection is mutual, rather than one where you’re just being strung along.