Why You Want to be Her Guilty Pleasure | Girls Chase

Why You Want to be Her Guilty Pleasure

I was recently browsing around the Internet reading articles women wrote advising other women on dating. Many of them had subjects along these lines:

  • “We need to stop going for assholes”
  • “It’s time for us to start dating better men”
  • “When you meet a man who’s a dick, just PASS!”

Of course, the subtext there is all the same: we have to keep lecturing ourselves to stay away from these guys because we just CAN’T stay away from these guys... we can’t help ourselves!

Women are addicted to men who are “all wrong for them.”

guilty pleasure

Once their late twenties or early thirties or so, most women shift into talk about how they were foolish in their youths for passing up good guys or going after bad boys, but how they’re all over that now and that’s in the past.

Essentially, they reach an age where they stop treating nice guys like dish rags and instead start considering them for something more committed and long-term...

... yet, when they meet the sexy bad boy, they still make “bad decisions” with him anyway, even though they’re supposedly “reformed” and “past all that.”

The easiest way to think about all this to keep yourself from going crazy is this: if you really want to do well with a woman, be her guilty pleasure.

Chase AmanteAbout the Author: Chase Amante

Chase woke up one day in 2004 tired of being alone. So, he set to work and read every book he could find, studied every teacher he could meet, and talked to every girl he could talk to to figure out dating. After four years, scads of lays, and many great girlfriends (plus plenty of failures along the way), he launched this website. He will teach you everything he knows about girls in one single program in his Mastery Package.


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Lanny's picture

Hi Chase,

I enjoyed the article, but one question I have is exit strategy. I don't lie to girls and tell them I'm going to be around, but once I think it's time to move on, I feel bad not ever talking to them again. Especially when they start texting me asking to hang out. Do you just say you're busy? Do you tell them you liked them but you have to move on with your life?

I'd imagine it's easier to leave if you were just a guilty pleasure fling, but what if you think she may have thought of you as a potential boyfriend?

David Riley's picture

Hey Lanny,

When a girl typically comes back she's noticed that you've dropped her. When she comes back discover her intention before considering hanging out with her. Some girls will message you for help doing a friendly task. If that's the case ignore. If you suggest a meet up of just you and her and she's not with the idea, drop her. However, if she's interesting in meeting up with you and hooking up, go for her. Women change their minds and realize they missed out when you go missing. Keep the door open for the right kinds of girls. Don't waste time on a girl who isn't worth it though.

Take care,

Just Dave

Anonymous's picture

Perspective is everything... this article although you didn't come out and say it, is all about effortlessness. The end goal of all of this seduction stuff is to get the woman in the sack so that you have a much better chance of getting her to come back for more of you (instead of listening to the LOUD voices of her orbiter sphere)... so expend effort trying to impress and persuade her to see what amazing a person you are when women don't respond as strongly to such tactics, compared to when you make them horny, and you're BAD for them like too much chocolate at 12 am is bad for their waistlines?

I've seen girls that act good, chaste, uppity, prissy turn in to damn near sexual animals when they are horny. It's like being in a state of horniness unleashes an inner beast and they become much more aggressive and they just want to take their clothes off, be bent over, and get fucked, hard. First time I saw a prissy catholic school "good girl" do this I was blown away. My mental model was flawed. It Felt weird actually, and I was like what's up with this bipolar attitude? Just 5 min ago she was a good girl now she's a freak! That's how I learned to not take girls at face value when they act all goody-two-shoes...

But this was all before I understood that women act all good, prim, and proper because of society's pressure on them, which influences heavily their need to maintain a near perfect public appearance.

But real talk, after seeing how some of these girls act nowadays, the things girls tell you that they do in secret when no one is looking, how girls with boyfriends and husbands still engage in trysts and heated conversations with old lovers... I don't know why men would ever try to impress and persuade a girl to be his, or expend a lot of time or emotion on getting any one female to fall in love with him when as Chris Brown and Lil Wayne have put it so eloquently: "These hoes ain't loyal."


David Riley's picture

Hey Anon,

You raise a good point and this is why so many guys who get good with girls lose respect for girls. Because sometimes they do seem like don't have any regard for a man's feelings. This is how girls look at guys like us, they say "Guys are assholes" or "Why can't I find a good guy". They cry themselves to sleep over guys like us. Ironically I went to a Catholic high school, and I can relate to what you say. Women are repressed sexually because they feel like guys get to have all the fun. This is why girls go crazy with lust for guys like us, they're missing that excitement that they missed out on. They never got a chance to get wild. This why girls will rebel so hard against their parents and date a bad boy. They get tired of living good, they want to have some fun.

Fortunately, this is nothing new because girls have been like this for ages. Women being promiscuous and not wanting to settle down, is just them rebelling. Women still do have a desire to tie down guys like us for relationships. Not every girl is like this, and not every guy wants to be a player. It's all about who you run into in life. Lil Wayne and Chris Brown meet girls who would sell their souls for fame. This is why they say they aren't loyal, these girls are trying to get rich. They're looking for their shot at stardom. The moral is to be careful what girls you ultimately try to make a girlfriend.

Take care,

Just Dave

moonriver's picture

Hey Chase:

Great article - but one question.

When you reverse the roles of the Q&A, and the girl is the one introducing the sexual overtones, it strikes me that when the guy responds the same way as the girl in the previous example that he comes across as a total nerd with no sexual vibe. Doesn't the guy need to play along or risk being friend-ed asap?!!

Am I missing something here?

David Riley's picture

Hey Moonriver,

You raise a good question, a lot of guys are indeed clueless when it comes to women. When a girl tries to swing this on me, I just twirl on her twice as hard.

Girl: "I bet you love checking girls out at the gym."
Me: "What makes you say that?"
Girl: "You love girls with nice butts."
Me: "Oh, is that way you've been doing squats for me lately?"
Girl: Haha, you're silly

The key is to just play along and don't take what she says seriously. I meet girls who seem like they're ready for action, only for them to insist they don't act that way. You know she wants sex, you just have to out frame her. Tell her she's the one who's thinking about sex.

Take care,

Just Dave

Driver's picture

"People were always asking me, did I know Tyler Durden."

That moment when you realize or learn that the main function of culture is to prevent everyone from fucking all the time, and that you have the power to ignore it. Bliss.

Nearly everyone is plugged in and playing the "game", but there is no spoon, there is no game. There's just a naughty school girl 5 minutes away from bending over and begging for cock.

David Riley's picture

Hey Driver,

That's a very true, it's very important to know how to push the right buttons to turn on a girl. When you push the wrong runs you actually run the risk of turning the girl off. This is why fundamentals are key so guys can learn the behavior that turns women on. Then you can thrust away in women as the moan and say your name.

Take care,

Just Dave

Troy's picture

Chase -

I love the article! Im kind of a nice guy at times and i want to get rid of those bad traits. However im not too clear about how to use this technique without coming off as judgmental. You say we must be playful but what if it comes off as judgemental under disguise?

What other topics can we use as a guilty pleasure? Sex is not something that can be discussed everywhere at anytime. How to avoid turning this tecnique into a frame battle where an emotional connection is hard to make?


David Riley's picture

Hey Troy,

This is where isolating the target will be your prime objective. You want to be alone and hurt the two of you doing some naughty thins together. You want to avoid saying these types of things in a professional environment or when she's with one of her friends. You can whisper in her ear when you're alone, and say "I know a secret about you." This will peak her curiosity in you.

Just Dave

G's picture

I like the presentation of this concept :)



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