The Party Date: Don't Do It | Girls Chase

The Party Date: Don't Do It

Just had a chat with a friend about this today. He was doing party dates a lot with girls and getting frustrated that the night never quite ended the way he hoped it would.

Chase AmanteAbout the Author: Chase Amante

Chase woke up one day in 2004 tired of being alone. So, he set to work and read every book he could find, studied every teacher he could meet, and talked to every girl he could talk to to figure out dating. After four years, scads of lays, and many great girlfriends (plus plenty of failures along the way), he launched this website. He will teach you everything he knows about girls in one single program in his Mastery Package.


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Marin's picture

You're right on target.
Plan, lead, and conquer.
I tell several of my buds to keep away from the party dates.
One chick said to A-man,"I just hung out with you so I could sleep with your friend (me)."
He wasn't to thrilled, but that's what happens when you bring a chick to a party date without establishing hardcore rapport/lay.

awesome post!

Chase Amante's picture

Thanks for the kind words, Marin. Unfortunate for your friend, though quite a nice compliment for you ;) As you tell your friends, party dates are dangerous -- best avoided!


Alex's picture

Hey Chase,

Another really good post with great insights. Still going through your archives, was reading about persitence and inviting her home.

I didn't pay too much attention to that (persistence) consciously, but after reading your post I was able to reckognize it's power in action that has taken place this week. To make the long story short, assertive, honest and non needy persistence made wonders for me.

As for inviting her home, I would really love to see a post about transitioning to getting physically when she's at my place. Do you kino a lot before you invite her home or leave it like kissing for the right/better moment when two of you are all alone? Do you do more comfort stuff to make her feel connected and comfortable and then maybe some talking about sex topics to make her a little horny, how do you move closer to her both physically and mentally to have sex with her? How do you proceed and from your experience how much kino is needed before trying to sleep with her? Is it even required? On the other side, if there's no kino compliance before such as careessing, initimate hand holding (you know who puts much emphasis on it), but no problem with for example putting your hand on her lower back when shopping, should I be concerned about it?

How do you overally proceed with kino during the whole process of seduction? Haven't seen a post about it yet, maybe it's ahead of me, still have a lot of your posts to go through.

Many questions and I think there could be many more, post about touching and leading to sex when there is only me and a woman would be really helpful.

Thanks again for writing this blog and helping us!

Chase Amante's picture

Alex, good to see you again, man. Muy excellente to hear about the success you've had with persisting and inviting girls home. Amazing how much a difference it makes, no?

You're right, I don't think I have much up on how to get physical. I do have the post on manhandle kisses, which can be important, but isn't even always a necessity and regardless is only a part of escalation. I'll look to get a post on that up in the next couple of days.

If you have any additional questions on that besides what you posted here, you can add them to this thread if you see it in time and I'll try and hit them all when I write up the post.


Alex's picture

Thanks Chase. I have many questions, but want to find healthy balance.

The other really important thing for me is real examples of your voice recorded, don't know if it is a problem for you, but it will be really great if you provide some of your recording as mp3 download or something. I'm working on my voice, but as for now it is mainly speaking from diaphragm and trying to speak clearly and slow down as I used to speak fast like a machine gun. Besides that I think I need to be more expressive when speaking. I recently started, and making some recordings along the way. Examples therefore would be great to see what one should be aiming for.

As for kissing, I'm going to make some moves on Wednesday when I see her.

Keep doing a great job!

Chase Amante's picture

Alex, hey. Just put up the post on physical escalation; should address what you'd asked about in your first comment on this post.

Regarding voice tone, let me see about getting something up. Could probably put some audio up here -- guess there is kind of a dearth on information on that out there. I'll see what I can do!


Pharaoh's picture

Never take a chick (someone that you truly like) to a party date unless you've already conquered the jungle -

As for a person like myself, party dates are the best because, that will determine if she can handle being around beautiful people tipsy without flirting or acting-out with and or towards anyone/celebraties.

Imagine yourself getting married to her and never really had party dates until the 3 month into your marriage you find out that she likes muscular handsome black guys (spec. white girls), making out with another girl, heck even taking a piss on a pavement - You know, it's fine to fantasize about surfer type white guys (asian chics) but Those are surprises you try to avoid my friend.

I make the decision as to who to be with NOT the female.
There's at least 6 females for every 1 guy so, the options are there, specially when you live in a city like NYC.

Chase Amante's picture

Hey Pharaoh,

For sure -- seeing how a girl behaves in a high stimulus environment can be eye-opening.

I came up in nightclubs, and after a while you get a pretty good feel for what girls of different personality types are going to be like in a club or party. The girls who are stimulus junkies by day tend to be over the top by night; and the ones who are quiet and subdued by day are (usually) the same by night.

Then again, there are always the ones that surprise you...


Anonymous's picture

Crap..I've been on about 3 dates with this one girl that I really want to pursue a relationship with..I had talked with her online / texted before meeting her..basically on the 3rd date we went to my house after getting a few drinks at a bar and ended up making out a little on the floor. I had also sent her flowers the day before just because I'm like that and she was really into it..she invited me to go to this huge party with her tonight for one of her friends birthdays (she has tons of guy friends apparently) and after reading this I'm second guessing myself..any suggestions?

Chase Amante's picture

Hey Anon,

Here's hoping everything worked out and it went okay.

It's a little tougher to avoid when it's, say, Date #4 and you haven't slept together. Ooh, that's kind of tough. On the one hand, she might feel really disappointed that you didn't come out and she didn't get to show you off to her friends, and she might end up with another guy just to ease her troubles and you end up getting written off.

On the other hand, if you go, there's a chance you end up standing around while she flirts with guy pals and guys she knows hit on her and she ends up losing respect for you that way too... or, even if you're super chill about it and she doesn't, it may still try your patience a great deal!

On the whole, I'd say work on speeding up your time-to-bed and get girls as lovers as fast as possible so you don't end up in "damned if you do, damned if you don't" scenarios (and they suck... I've been there).

But, if you're faced with this scenario where you're almost there and you think you can hold your own at the party, then go, be chill, and have your arm around her as much as possible -- then pull her off into a corner somewhere, then pull her off to another room or bathroom and do what she was hoping you'd do when the two of you were rolling around on the floor ;)

Cheers bro,

Anonymous's picture

Yea i get the jest that Party dates are a bad idea, but I see tons of people hook up at the parties, like they go off into some distance and make out etc etc. What's so bad about meeting girls at a party especially if you're the nomad that's kicking their alpha's ass? Sure you might get a little bit of a rap on the bum about it but in the end if you conquer that girl, your results show 2 things. 1 you're dominant and 2. the girl generally has something for you.... I can see the ups/downs of the party scene, but i dont think it should be shut down so easily and firmly too! good things happen at parties, and girls go to them looking good to meet guys imo

Chase Amante's picture

Howdy man,

Aye, yeah, now that's a different story!

Party dates I was recommending avoiding because they introduce way too many outside factors that are hard to control for that unnecessarily complicate a date and are easily avoided by just saying "no" and meeting up somewhere with the two of you alone.

Meeting girls AT parties, on the other hand...! Parties are like shooting fish in a barrel compared to a lot of other ways of meeting new girls.

I've got a post on hooking up with friends that talks about the general process behind this. But other than that, I'm in agreement, brother -- good things do happen at parties, especially if you're focused on making things happen that night.

Oh, and digging the "nomad" reference ;)


Anon denver col's picture

Sitin in denver trying to play it cool with this chick. I made it pretty clear what my intentions are and still am makin it clear. However she was saying she aint ready for datin. I say ok and we go out anyway.So we go out a 3 times each time becoming clearer that these outings are dates. Im over at her place randomly one day and its all good and its getting late so i got to go and i get a hug but i stumbled pretty bad i didnt just got for the kiss. Uggg i know but i couldnt leave without trying was getting close to end of the road and i ha to do something. So being cocky i ask if im gonna get a goodnight kiss... Shot down but i don make a big deal out of it and neither does she. In fact shes got a bigger smile then i did as she said "no, sorry" i made it so natural and easy that honestly i felt good after leaving. I know weird. So i text her the next night and i get texts back and they arnt bad. She gets back to me the followin day on the last text, it was late and night. So i text back and that whole following day ignore treatment in person and in text. Low and behold i check my email and ive been invited to a party from her and she has hinted at me stating over night if we ever go partyin. So idk Wtf right

To go or not to go? Tough one

Anonymous's picture

hey chase u seem like u got great knowledge could u help me out ive kinda put my self in a situation

Anonymous's picture

So where do you take party girls out to as a date

rrr's picture

I don't get mindset of "another man steals your date". Surely your date is a living, thinking person, who can make decisions for herself and not some mindless property that can be taken away from you if you don't cling hard enough to it?

So if a guy gets with your date, it's because your date wanted it. Consider it bullet dodged.

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