If she likes you, but opts not to hook up with you, what does it mean? Why, it means you’ve failed her Chad test – and now she’ll make you wait.
You’re back alone at your place with a girl. What you know about her: she’s adventurous, independent, and, by all indications, probably has been with her fair share of men. Perhaps she’s shared some of her old war stories with you: guys she’s been with, wild hookups she has had, sordid escapades gone by.
For some reason, it feels slightly off. You feel like she likes you, it’s just... her walls are up.
You decide to go for it anyway. She’s near you on the couch, with her body turned slightly away from yours. Her arms are folded, her expression slightly tensed. “Come here, you’re so far away,” you tell her. She scoots a little closer, but she doesn’t seem excited to do it. You put your hand on her chin to turn her face toward yours. She stops you.
“I don’t feel ready for that yet,” she says. You feel let down. After all that talk about all her crazy past hookups... and now she “isn’t ready?”
“I should probably go,” she tells you. You figure she’s blowing you off. And to be honest, you’re not really feeling it yourself either. Her defensiveness has killed any interest in her you had earlier. You walk her to the door. “I had fun,” she says. “We should hang out again soon.” You grunt a response and let her go.
Two weeks later – you haven’t bothered to message her – she texts you, asking what you’re up to and why she hasn’t heard from you. It seems so weird... this girl resisted intimacy when you brought her back, but she still wants to meet up anyway. Why? For what?
Slowly it starts to dawn on you: she likes you... just not enough to make you one of the men she gives it up too fast.
You have, in other words, failed the Chad test.
The Chad Test
‘Chad’ entered the popular lexicon a decade or so back as a term for an obnoxious, jerk-like, pop-culture-embracing male. More recently it’s begun to shift to include being the kind of obnoxious asshole who also has a lot of fast, no-strings sex with women who value him for his cock alone. A ‘Chad’, for our purposes here, uses this latest definition: all lover value, zero boyfriend value, zero friend value – he’s a walking, talking, heat-seeking penis.
The Chad test consists of three questions a woman asks herself:
Does this guy have any redeeming value as a boyfriend?
Does this guy have any redeeming non-romantic, non-sexual value?
Do I want to have sex with this guy?
If the answer to the first two questions is “No”, and the answer to
the third question is “Yes”, congratulations – you passed the Chad test. Quick,
no-strings sex will soon be yours.
If the answer to any of those questions is anything other than “No, no, yes”, you have failed the Chad test. The possibility of fast sex with this girl has dwindled dramatically.
For instance, if all three are “no”, obviously she won’t want much to do with you. No boyfriend value, no friend value, no sexual value. What do you even have to offer her?
However, if the answer to one of the first two questions is “yes”, then your value to her may be too higher to jeopardize with a quick, throwaway boot-knocking session. The moment she gives you what you most want – physical intimacy – is the moment she surrenders her best card with you. The odds she gets access to your boyfriend or platonic value are significantly higher when she puts off sex, not when she speedily delivers it.
Thus, even if the answer to question #3 is “yes” and she wants to go to bed with you, if the answer to one of the earlier two questions is also “yes” (and she wants to vet you further as a boyfriend, or she wants to access your non-sexual/non-romantic value), her legs stay shut... at least until she has assurances she’ll still be able to access the value she wants access to... or you convince her that value disappears if she doesn’t put out.
That’s the Chad test. Nothing we haven’t talked about on here before (such as in the article on disqualifying yourself as a boyfriend)... though it is a slightly different way of framing it / thinking about it. As a reminder, if you are not too experienced with women yet, you should not strip yourself of friend/boyfriend value yet... until you are desirable enough as a lover, you don’t want to go value neutral. i.e., better to be a “Yes, no, maybe” than a “No, no, no.” See this article for more on how to present yourself if you’re not that sexy yet.
Different Girls Administer the Chad Test Differently
It’s completely possible to pass the Chad test for some girls, and fail the Chad test for other girls.
The single biggest influence on how likely a girl is to pass you or fail you on the Chad test is her own level of sexual experience (i.e., her number of partners / the number of seductions she’s already gone through). The more sexually experienced she is (i.e., the more men she’s sampled), the more likely she is to decide “Hmm, he’s not quite what I like in a guy I’d hook up with” or “Eh, this isn’t really anything I haven’t seen before, and it was only just okay with the last couple guys I hooked up who came at it this way.”
Most men are not terribly good in bed, unfortunately. And the more lovers she’s had, the more points of comparison she has to pit you against. If you are not approaching things the way one of the three or four best lovers she’s had did, or you approach things in a way reminiscent of one of the myriad forgettable lovers she’s had did, she will guess (possibly incorrectly) that intimacy with you will be disappointing, and she won’t be excited for it.
There are ways around that, of course. Many more prolific night game seducers devise their own very unique approaches to seduction, aimed more at getting around this “seen that already, not excited by it” attitude more experienced/jaded girls carry with them.
Another large influence is a
woman’s own sexual appetite. A high sex drive woman who orgasms
easily, for instance, will be aroused much more easily by all kinds of
different approaches men can take – simply because it’s so much easier
for her to enjoy any sex that ensues. Unlike the jaded girl who’s been
with 20 guys and found 17 of them to be disappointments, the ‘orgasms
easily’ girl who’s been with 20 guys may have loved the sex she had
with almost all those guys – and she gets quite turned on any time
things progress to a certain point with any guy she’s with. You may still
fail the Chad test with high appetite girls if your friend value or
boyfriend value is high enough. But it’s a lot easier to pass the Chad
test with an
experienced high drive gal than it is with an experienced moderate or
low drive gal.
Here’s a crucial bit about the Chad test to understand: she decides what she wants with you based on how your different kinds of value stack up NEXT to each other.
An example Chad test ranking. The man with this ranking passes the test.
For instance, let’s say you take a girl on a date. Things go well, and two hours in she has you ranked this way:
- RV (romantic value): weak yes
- PV (platonic value): weak no
- SV (sexual value): medium yes
Your odds of getting to sex are reasonably okay. She might consider you for a boyfriend, but her interest in making you that (or belief she can get you as that) is not so high. She also doesn’t view you as a legitimate friend candidate. Your one stumbling block is her interest in sex with you is only a moderate amount.
Can you get her alone with you somewhere?
If you can, your odds of getting intimate go up by a lot. Can you overcome her last-minute resistance?
If so, your sexual value will increase (when you beat a girl’s LMR, you
turn her on... often by a lot).
Or do you accidentally come off a little too caring and considerate, or let her see your nice car or nice apartment at the same time you mention you plan to stay in town for at least a couple years? If so, your platonic value and/or romantic value rise, and offset your sexual value.
The trick to passing the Chad test is to have your lover value outweigh the combined weight of your boyfriend and friend value... and to have the full value be weighty enough to excite her to action (if it’s “no romantic value, no platonic value, weak sexual value”, you’re still going to have an uphill battle).
How to Pass the Chad Test
There are a few keys to passing the Chad test:
The sexier you are, the easier it is to pass. Chads are sexy – no getting around it. I talked about this back in 2010 – I’d long avoided the ‘Chad look’ because I found it too douchey... yet as soon as I tried it out, I had women crawling all over me. The sexier you make yourself (which often means adopting sexy guy behavior – which you may at present view as ‘douchebag behavior’ or ‘asshole behavior’), the easier it is for women to pass you in the Chad test... and decide your sexual value outweighs anything else they could want with you.
Reducing your non-sexual value helps – to a point. Assuming you have sufficient sexual value in place, cutting out your romantic/platonic value only helps make the calculation easier for the women you meet. Instead of it being a tough call whether your non-sexual value outweighs your sexual value, the calculation is easy: the primary thing you have to offer is sex. No heavy mental lifting required; she knows what you’re about, and what you offer.
The catch: if you don’t have sufficient sexual value (and remember, this will differ from girl to girl; while you can be sexier overall in general, there are always some girls who will find things that turn the majority of girls on to be turnoffs themselves), reducing non-sexual value only hurts you, because it robs you of the chance to spend time with a girl you like and ‘change her mind’ about you. Again, see the article on what to do if you aren’t sexy yet for the strategy I suggest you follow when your sexual attractiveness is still a work in progress.
Sticking to less experienced women helps. When you go for a more experienced woman, you are, in effect, competing with all the men who’ve already had her before. She hooked up with some guy and the experience was magical? You’d better hope his game was similar to yours. Your approach resembles the approach another guy took with her, yet the sex he gave her was disappointing and she felt bad about it after? Good luck trying to convince her you’re not him.
The issue is she often won’t remember consciously that this guy did this, or that guy did that... but she still has feelings, tied to memories, and when you do something she’s seen before, she calls up the related memories, and their attached feelings. There’s no real correlation between game and bedroom satisfaction, either (so far as I’m aware)... so you could be the best lover in the world, but if your approach mirrors that of a terrible former lover she has, she will feel inexplicably unexcited about the prospect of physical intimacy with you, and neither her nor you will know exactly why.
The fewer prior partners she has whose baggage you have to deal with during the seduction, the more of a clean slate you have to work with.
Having a more creative seduction style helps. This really applies more to more experienced men who enjoy more experienced women. If you’re a sexual hedonist who enjoys hedonistic women, this is probably where you want to focus your efforts. Develop your own original, creative approach to seduction she won’t have seen before and that will be fresh and engaging, even if she’s seen all the standard stuff before.
Usually (for more experienced women) this revolves around some intriguing spin on sexual game. Here are just a couple of examples of what creative, original seduction styles that can work well even on women who’ve ‘seen it all’ can look like:
- Chase framing and sexual innuendo
- Alek Rolstad’s sex talk, sex stories, and sexual liberalism
- Pablo Garcia’s BDSM game and finger routine
- Grand Master’s ribald (and cheesy) sexual humor
- A2daMIR’s incredible frame control and
If you’re a perfectionist, you’ll want an original style of game you can wield on experienced women – and you will find when you encounter less experienced women, you hardly use it / don’t need it (you won’t use these techniques on less experienced women that much... and if you try, you’ll notice they seem to ‘not get it’ much of the time... excepting the more sexually curious inexperienced girls, that is).
If you’re great at #4, #3 becomes less of an issue. If you’re not great at #4 though, there’s always #3.
What Should You Do If You Fail the Chad Test?
What do you do if you fail the test? If she clearly decides you are not a Chad (at least not for her)?
Well, you’ve got a couple options. You can:
Persist. Both in the moment and over time. She doesn’t need to like you a lot to sleep with you... she just has to be alone with you, and not have a reason not to sleep with you. Likewise, if you’re willing to persist over time, you may ‘wear her down’... I don’t recommend this route, and don’t like it, but I’ve seen guys use it repeatedly and every girl (just about) has a story about some guy who wore her down, so it does work. Is it an efficient way to do things? No. Are you going to get girls to chase you this way? Certainly not. But it’s your life – so your call.
Switch things up. Can you create a jealousy plotline? If so, give it a go – preselection is, after all, the universal reset button. Can you start to touch her more than you have been, get her moving around more (get that adrenaline pumping), or inject more sexuality into your interaction? Try it – anything’s worth a shot. When your normal stuff doesn’t work and you have to shoot in the dark, it starts to get a lot more hit and miss... but sometimes this is how you discover new angles that you come to use again and again.
Walk away. There are so many women out there, many of whom (especially once you’ve got your game down) will be enamored by you... or at least receptive to you. Is it really worth your time to hang around a girl who says, in essence, “Well, you’re not as exciting as some of the guys I’ve banged. But who knows, maybe you can offer me something else I value for sex at some point”? Assuming you have enough abundance, not really.
It can be hard to not take a Chad test failure personally. Particularly with more experienced women (who are the ones who will fail you on the Chad test the hardest / most unequivocally), where the message is “I’ve let other men have me for a half hour or an hour of work. But for you? At least 10 hours of calling, texting, and dating will be required!” If you’re not careful, you can get into an auto-rejection spiral... where, first, you auto-reject (“Is she really going to make it hard for me, when she’s already made is super easy for other guys?”), then get snippy or nasty and cause her to auto-reject in turn (“Is this guy really trying to tell me he doesn’t think I stack up to his girlfriend criteria? Is he really saying I’m worth no more than a quick shag?”).
When you fail her Chad test, and then you feel judged, so you get cold toward her, and then she feels judged.
Once you’ve seen it enough, and have come to be comfortable with and enjoy experienced women enough and empathize with them well enough, you don’t take it as personal when you fail a Chad test. This makes it easier to persist or switch things up in a smooth way without getting snippy or cold to her. It also allows you to end things in a rather romantic way, should you choose to walk away; that way the end is still pleasant for her and you part on good terms. If you will never see someone again – and usually when you walk away from a girl after having failed her Chad test, you won’t be too motivated to see her again, and she may not be especially motivated to see you again either – you can still end things on good terms, and leave her better off than when you met her.
Using the Chad Test as a Test of Your Own
I personally use the Chad test as a gauge for what role in my life a girl can play.
A Chad test is a form of evaluation, but the way your evaluator evaluates tells you as much about her in turn.
A sexually inexperienced woman will be hesitant about her Chad test, if she even tests for this at all.
Meanwhile, a very experienced woman will be clear and confident in her Chad tests. You’ll see her come to a clear decision, she’ll be very confident in that decision, and trying to change her mind will feel like trying to walk into a shopping mall after closing time when the doors are all bolted. You might be able to see what’s inside (through those big glass doors), but you aren’t getting in.
Thus, when you run into hard/clear Chad test decisions, a girl is telling you:
She is sexually experienced, and
Your game doesn’t match up favorably with that of the men she’s enjoyed most in the past
If you prefer to keep to girlfriends under a certain level of sexual experience, the Chad test helps you to screen girls in (if they Chad test you lightly or not at all) or out (if they Chad test you hard and clear and firm).
Yet even if you prefer sexually experienced women as your
counterparts, the “game doesn’t compare favorably” aspect of things
tells you right up front there’s likely to be compatibility issues
between the two of you. It’s possible
you’ll get together and her mind about you will completely change...
but if there’s not enough fascination there to overcome
the Chad test, and if she otherwise isn’t enamored with your approach
to wooing her, the relationship is less likely to work.
Does Every Girl Chad Test?
Every girl past a certain level of sexual experience Chad tests.
The Chad test is one of the easiest ways to ferret out a girl’s true
sexual experience levels, in fact. The firmer she is in her Chad test
decision, and the more confident she seems about it, the higher her
sexual experience / partner count will be, pretty much without fail.
Chad tests are an efficient way for women of higher levels of sexual experience to sort pure lover types out from men with longer-term value to them.
You don’t want to hook up fast with a guy who has longer-term romantic or platonic value to you, and risk losing access to that guy’s value once he’s sampled your sexual delights. At the same time, even if you’d like something committed and long-term, or you’d love to have a new male friend, it’s fine to hook up with a Chad if you’ve established that’s all he is. Chads are throwaway guys to women... they’re only as good as the stiff cock they provide is.
Chad tests will help you hone the creativity and originality of your game. They will make you a better seducer... because you have to be, to navigate around them.
The biggest trick to passing the Chad test, as you recall, is to
make sure your lover/sexual value outweighs your combined romantic +
Your ultimate goal with Chad tests (whether you prefer sexually experienced or sexually inexperienced women – it doesn’t matter) should be to make your peace with them, and not take a Chad test evaluation personally.
Even talented seducers with original approaches regularly fail the Chad test for all kinds of women. Different women have different things they look for in each of the different roles they can fill in their lives. Thus, while you may be totally disqualified as a friend for some girls, other girls may think you’d make a perfect friend. Or whereas some girls may not even consider you as a boyfriend, others may imagine you in that role with ease.
All the Chad test really tells you is a.) roughly how experienced she is, and b.) how compatible she thinks you and her are.
Where you go from there is up to you.