4 Ways to Stop Women Complaining on Dates | Girls Chase

4 Ways to Stop Women Complaining on Dates

women complainA reader writes in a comment on the post about building emotional connections:

"This worked great with a beautiful young lady I was interested in. We had many things in common. She got presumptuous and began whining & nagging about her car repairs. I was a gentleman throughout yet she felt perfectly entitled to tool me!! How would you treat her inappropriate request? Oh I forgot to mention this demand was asked of me after the third date..."

That's an unfortunate outcome for our reader, losing a girl he had a great connection with to presumptuous requests, but it's all too common a scenario, and it's one that gives us an outstanding jumping off point for getting into a meaty topic: dealing with dating situations where women complain, try to get stuff from you, and push to use you.

For the relationship equivalent of this phenomenon, check out "Women and Drama." What I want to talk to you about today is dealing with this when it happens on dates -- and how you can sidestep, shut down, and otherwise flummox women's attempts to get favors and "gain the upper hand," so to speak.

I think you'll find it invaluable.

Chase AmanteAbout the Author: Chase Amante

Chase woke up one day in 2004 tired of being alone. So, he set to work and read every book he could find, studied every teacher he could meet, and talked to every girl he could talk to to figure out dating. After four years, scads of lays, and many great girlfriends (plus plenty of failures along the way), he launched this website. He will teach you everything he knows about girls in one single program in his Mastery Package.


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Genius. 's picture

I hope to God the feminists don't find you...because if they do, they'll kill you dead. Except worse.

That was also a very simple, yet oddly perplexing chart. I was inclined to believe that Attraction would increase proportionately to Utility- as long as it wasn't supplicative - which is probably why I'm coming to you for advice and not vice-versa (snicker).

So, on one's quest to become a sexy man, are you suggesting that all forms of Utility be avoided even after bedding the femme? Seems counter-intuitive and, dare I say it, virtually impossible in a long lasting relationship based on more than a few sideways sashays. Or is helping an option after you have already proved your sexiness in the bedroom? I'd assume that after a while anyone would become quite irritated with a friend/lover's "unavailability" or shrewd sidesteps every time he/she needed some sort of assistance.

Then again, I wouldn't know..

They say years are better teachers than books, so I must defer to you.

Regardless, I'll give it a swing!



Chase Amante's picture

Hey Tiger,

Good question. I forgot about this post.

Keep in mind, this is discussing dates (pre-intimacy). The rules change a bit after you've become lovers, but the chart still looks roughly the same.

If you look back at the chart, you'll notice there's a dip in attraction the instant utility starts going up (that's basically the moment you stop becoming an aloof rock star and become a real person contributing to her life in any way), but then a bump where it goes up again even as utility increases (that's where you become a guy who gives her a little value, but not too much). After that it falls off.

The difference between how much you can help a girl you've slept with and a girl you haven't is a difference of degree. e.g., if you sit down and help your girlfriend figure out the best way for her to learn how to get better at her job, you're a pretty good boyfriend, so long as you're not doing that every day for hours on end. Do that with a girl you've yet to bed though, and you're now an invaluable friend she wouldn't want to risk losing just for sex.

Moral of the story is, in a relationship, be a good guy who gives her a hand - much more so than you would be with a girl you haven't taken to bed yet. However, don't become a suffering servant, because the same slope applies as in that graph - it's just a little more gentle and it extends out a bit farther.


Anonymous01's picture

I'm always skeptical of graphs derived from anecdotal information rather than straight data, but I can see how this is can happen. I don't think I was ever hit up for help from girls I dated so I don't know how I would have reacted.

Even with my current girlfriend of over a year, I try to maintain the relationship we both fell for. There's a part of it where we help each other, but if we did a lot of that and less of the stuff that attracted us to each other, then it would go south pretty fast.

blogster's picture

Makes intuitive sense and from experience (including my own) I can relate.

A question regarding the mechanics of the graph - what is the reason that the woman makes the 'either/or' decision about attraction and utility? Why, rather than considering both as a package, does a woman go for one or the other? My thought would be that women, as the gender with reproductive capacity and a limited time window to act on it, must make quick decisions regarding this.

Anonymous's picture

Honestly it's a bit disturbing how the nature of women really is, makes it very hard to respect them. The less attention I give a girl the more she wants me, and the less I find her attractive for it. I cant bring myself to fuck her out of respect for my principles(no bs). Are there any unicorns out there who aren't soul sucking leaches to guys who just want to treat them the way they would want to be treated themselves? I understand that the reptilian brain is strong in us but this is the 21st century, education is so readily available for everyone that I can't see any excuse to behave in such a primitive way.

good article btw, gonna sub to your site.

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