Young Women Are Lonelier Than Ever Right Now (So Why Aren't You Approaching?) | Girls Chase

Young Women Are Lonelier Than Ever Right Now (So Why Aren't You Approaching?)

Chase Amante

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Chase Amante's picture
women lonelier than everIf you're like most guys, you're not going out right now. Yet single women are lonelier than ever, and more receptive to your approaches than ever before.

I'm just about finished an epic "3 potential futures for dating in a post-lockdown world" article that explores the current and potential long-lasting social changes we're looking at, depending on one of three scenarios (lockdowns lift in 2022 as currently promised; rolling annual lockdowns become a normal part of Western disease-fighting; or permanent lockdowns are here to stay, with freedom passes awarded to good citizens).

But then you get into speculating about the future, and as neutral as I try to make an article like that it's hard not to veer into this side or that side, and, frankly, at this point, we're living in a dystopia, and talking about the dystopia we're in is sort of depressing.

And everyone's got enough depression to deal with already.

So instead I want to do something different.

Instead, let me set that huge long massive article aside (and maybe I will or won't publish it at some point) and do something else.

Let me talk to you about what women are going through right now.


Bizzy's picture

Maybe it's not a bad thing what is happening right now. Women aren't used to be lonely and get less attention. I mean most men know what it's like so it won't kill women if they go through this for a whole year. Maybe they become humble.....probably not but still. ^^

Chase Amante's picture


That's possible.

Could also be possible you get a whole lot of people (men and women alike) who slide into depression and victim mentality and become less pleasant people, rather than humbler, nicer ones.

(probably you'll see some folks travel down one path, some down another)

Will be interesting to see where we are late next year, closing in on the end of Lockdown: Year 2!


Jake's picture

Good article, we as a species need to find ways to re socialize before we create a mental health pandemic, the covid shaming is setting very dangerous precedents. Living in a small college town during this has effectively taken day and night game out, leaving tinder as the only source for dating. So ive turned my wins to trying to get in better shape and get as far ahead as i can financially until my lease here is up, then start fresh

Chase Amante's picture


Ah, that's interesting.

Usually you'd expect a small town to be better.

But small college town... yeah, that's likely to be locked down hard.

Your strategy sounds good: build your body and your bank account while you're in a holding pattern, then move to greener pastures once out.

Unfortunately the mental health pandemic seems to already be underway.

Best strategy is looking for ways to get to healthier places to live, or figure out ways to maintain mental health in otherwise closed down, locked up places.


Anonymous 's picture

Great article Chase.

I'm not a day gamer at all and I wanted to ask, how do I get more approach invitations during these times?

Even though you say women are more receptive than ever, nothing has changed for me with getting approach invitations.

My fundamentals have always been pretty good and got even better after reading the site.

I even studied and applied what you wrote about in the (expect to get approached)? article. I think that was the name.

I'm trying to think what it could be, I do think it is because of (blank) but some girls have to show interest some times I feel.

Appreciate everything.

Chase Amante's picture


Yes, that was the name of that article:

Tactics Tuesdays: Expect Women to Approach You (or Signal)

It's hard for me to say without seeing you. Typically with approach invitations what I've seen is:

  1. Men won't get many when their fundamentals aren't great (sounds like that's not you though)
  2. Men won't get many when they don't stand out (not sure if that's you or not)
  3. Many men actually do get quite a bit but don't recognize them

It's also conceivably possible for there to be some sort of regional reason for it.

Although I'll tell you, every time in the past I've been in some area where I got few approach invitations, and I started to think there was something wrong with the area, or with its women, it almost always ended up being that I did not stand sufficiently out, and if I adjusted how I presented myself to stand out better, suddenly in came the AIs.

So, take from that what you will...


Sam-2's picture


Great article, but I want to give another perspective on this.

I live in Greece and we are under our second horizontal lockdown. This means that we are allowed out only to go to work, go to the supermarket for our groceries or go out for physical exercice. For every one of these activities you need to be able to prove that you are out for these reasons.

You are talking about "warmth of reception" by women, but under the aforementioned circumstaces a man like me has more rudimentary problems in his dating life: low numbers of women out there and low quality of women out there.

I am an attractive and very active type of guy, but under these circumstances I just don't find it rewarding to go out for groceries and see some untaken care of women with sweatpants and zero make up.

So, since women are both few and less beautiful, I managed to channel my testosterone to more rewarding avenues such as saving money and building a robust investment portfolio from scratch. I work, I get paid fully, I work out indoors, I invest, I read and I learn. This is how I get my wins.

Meanwhile, because I desire female beauty in my life, I managed to at least virtually not lose touch with it, by putting my Tinder passport in Moscow and getting insane numbers of matches with model-type women.

Yes, I don't do anything with it and this is not a method to actually have sex with women. It is however a pseudo-way to expose my eyes to real beauty and not to the "locked down" version of it which is really not my cup of tea.

When this is over I will go back to the streets and the night life because all my past success with women has come almost invariably from night life. Until then, I will have dramatically increased my wealth through asset-building.

Chase Amante's picture


Whew, that is brutal.

Yeah, I don't blame you checking out for now.

Hopefully it gets better there and they ease those lockdowns in a bit.

Just keep it in mind, if drags on and you start going crazy, you've got the exercise outlet and you've got the grocery store. There are women there, maybe not in abundance, but if you're going out each day (do a little shopping and exercise each day), and you're being deliberately social, you can meet them shopping and exercising. And a lot of them will be glad to meet you.


Pete's picture

I would very much like to read this article and I’m sure many others too. I think it would be essential reading

I hope you do publish it.


Chase Amante's picture


Duly noted. Thanks for your preference.

I'm still considering it... I'll give the article a review again this week and see if I think I can hit all the right notes I want to hit with it (and none of the wrong ones).


Anonymous's picture

I thought i'd share my answer for the question of why aren't you going out to approach women.

I struggled to have women in my life before this pandemic started and couldn't muster up the courage to put myself into ambiguous uncharted territory. I was never comfortable with who I was. I didn't want to go out and struggle for the sake of blind learning and acquiring unconscious competence. I never had a bright vision or really knew what I wanted or why I wanted it.

I was a virgin before all these new circumstances so my mind has trouble believing that I could possibly sleep with one girl that i'd be satisfied with when nearly all the odds are stacked against me.

I wouldn't know where to invite a girl out on a date in nyc when businesses was much more prevalent and accessible. I couldn't tell if it was appropriate to ask a girl to meet me at a good bar where it might be more costly or a cheap starbucks cafe on a first date. I wouldn't know if I could invite a girl I met in lower manhattan to come to the bronx for a 1st date. Now there's much less options available for me to decide from with all these store closures and restrictions with another pending nyc lockdown.

I have absolutely no logistics,live with my parents, i'm aware about going for public sex,but that's not very practical with cold weather incoming and especially for a noob like me who's far too indecisive,timid and too much of an overthinker to make it happen.

This is not to mention the other more pressing things needed in seduction like knowing how to escalate and when with a girl, building compliance, not be platonic 24/7, dealing with arbritary resistance during the date or up until sex and just being a decisive leader.

Not too long ago I went out with the intention of talking to girls and spent hours walking the streets downtown and was able to muster up the courage to talk to one very attractive girl. I felt really good about myself even though nothing came out of it and knew from that one small experience that every action taken will improve you by at least .01%.

That rush of dopamine doesn't last long term and it couldn't compel or excite me enough to go out and do it all over again. It took almost the perfect circumstances to get me to go out and approach that one girl. It was a warm sunny day,nobody was closeby,she was standing in the same spot and she didn't have headphones on. So I find it hard to believe I would be able to overcome my anxiety of approaching with strangers walking nearby. I know I would be much better off approaching women than wasting my time away at home and working at a unsatisfying job,but this awareness isn't enough.

It's getting colder in nyc based on the articles about approaching girls in colder weather it's harder to approach because they'r likelier to be in poor moods and their sex drives drop(hypothethically) so they're not as open to meeting new guys and would rather stick to whomever they are already seeing. I don't wanna expose myself to dismissive,disinterested girls because i'm worried about accumulating negative reference points and i'll give up too quick. I'm already easily discouraged as you can tell.

The reason why I haven't given up seduction completely despite barely trying or making any substantial progress after years of reading self improvement content is because i've grown tired of the menial comforts that I used to indulge in like videogames,social media,tv. They no longer bring me joy and I see them strictlt as time wasters.
No matter how much I try to avoid/delay/supress my desire of intimacy with women it always comes back to manifest its importance to me. I see attractive women and can't help,but want them and crave their company. I guess my desire is too strong for me to give up on a possible future with them even if that vision is bleak.

Chase Amante's picture


It's not a fun place to be. I know; I was in your shoes for about 10 years.

I used to have people tell me things like, "Just talk to girls" and "Just ask somebody out. The worst she can say is no!"

And I would think, "They just don't understand. They don't realize how far behind I am."

The only way you get out of that is through a mindset shift.

You're going to have to find your own way there, to some extent.

Although I can tell you mine: one day it just dawned on me that it didn't matter all the things I didn't know how to do, and that the only way I could ever learn them was by repeatedly trying and failing until I figured them out.

Even then it was sort of a slow climb up.

For me, the second big breakthrough (after learning to make approaches) was landing a date, then going out with the girl and realizing if I just mirrored her (talk to her about what she talks about to me; touch her a little bit after she touches me, and in the same ways/places) I could move easily through the date and get a lot farther along than I thought.

All I'll leave you with for now is that there are solutions to every problem you've raised in your comment.

I could spell them out for you.

But the real success is going to come when you realize your mission is going to be to go out and fail, then go out and fail again, then go out and keep failing until it clicks and you realize you know what to do.


1984's picture

Reporting my feedback on my approach experiences over these past few months.

Sadly for my case though, I performed significantly worse off after the pandemic.

First off, some stats and background. I think I'm not very good at daygame, meet percentage wise.

Before pandemic
Number closes: 1 in 3.5
Meet up for date: 1 in 70 approaches

After pandemic
Number closes: 1 in 8
Meet up for date: 1 in 180 approaches (and counting)

After the pandemic, I only met one girl through cold approach. It was during the time I did the 30 day, 4 approaches a day challenge.

My approach style is daygame direct. Moving approaches are about 1/2, stationary approaches about 1/2.

I live in a city where there is no lockdown, but masks are mandatory and the law is very strict about that. So i have to wear a mask while approaching. Social gatherings are limited to a small number. The local girls seemed even more closed off than usual, but the expats are as open as usual.

I do have one female friend remarking to me that she wish some guys would talk to her, and she considered working more at cafes so that there's a chance to meet other people.

Emotionally, I'm not very convinced by your article, although rationally speaking I know your article must be correct, on the part about girls being more open and easier in this time. Do you think it might be the fact that my city doesn't have a lockdown, thus the girls actually has more options for attention, and hence less open to being approached?

Chase Amante's picture


Interesting. Thanks for the alternate perspective here.

Sorry it's been harder for you.

It's certainly possible there's some regional situation that's driving more closed-offedness in the women there.

If they're all spooked by fear of illness, or they're spooked by policing/strict restrictions, that might be a reason.

I'll say it does seem like there is a suppressive effect on social behavior during the early days of a lockdown. Then once people acclimate to the situation and realize they're not going to get the black plague and turn into a shriveled husk, and they're not going to get stopped by the gestapo and dragged off to the gulag for talking to strangers, there's a big rebound in the opposite direction. I've seen that myself.

Could be (depending on the conditions where you are) your lockdown / current restrictions are recent enough the women are still skittish.

Or maybe there's some other factor at play there I'm not aware of.


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