Attraction Paradox: Why She Rejects You Even Though She Wants You | Girls Chase

Attraction Paradox: Why She Rejects You Even Though She Wants You

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Fri, 11/23/2018 - 21:30


why she rejects you when she's attracted
Attraction isn’t the end-all in getting women into bed. In fact, too much of it can complicate things. Here’s why focusing more on compliance is the way to go.

Hey, guys. Not too long ago, I wrote a theoretical piece stating my definitions of attraction and compliance and how I distinguish between them. The goal of that post was to clarify:

  • The confusing paradox of “attraction is there naturally” – i.e., that attraction is not something you create, but either is or isn't there – and the idea of “building attraction”

  • The difference between them – attraction being an emotional drive that causes a person to feel emotions towards another versus creating a state of mind that makes another person comply with your demands

  • How this all plays out in the field

Today, I want to discuss this even further. I believe that compliance is a more powerful tool than attraction, and therefore something you should strive for. The reason behind this is that attraction, once you reach a certain level, becomes a double-edged sword that can work against you.

The assumption is that attraction leads to compliance. This is true in many cases – if a girl likes you, she will be very likely to follow your lead and comply with your demands. However, as we will discuss here, attraction can sometimes make a girl less compliant. We will explore why that is.

Alek RolstadAbout the Author: Alek Rolstad

Alek Rolstad launched his pickup career at age 14, an early starter and seduction savant. His unique style of game focuses on “sex talk”: a way to make sex the primary topic of conversation. Sex talk lets the user excite girls rapidly, and filter for girls open to fast, raunchy, kinky one-night stands and sex. You can learn from Alek, the master and originator of sex talk himself, by booking a 1-hour phone consultation with him.



ananoymma's picture



Thanks so much for this article. It makes so much sense! I used to wonder why girls who are into me takes forever to respond to my texts and gives me mixed-signals to get me frustrated, now I understand why.


My question to you is, how should you respond to the following strategies by a girl to get compliance from you?


A. Taking forever to respond on purpose

B. Giving you mixed signals

C. Flaking on dates?


Thanks for a wonderful article Alek!

Alek Rolstad's picture

Hey and thank you for your response. 


Well I would apply the usual strategies against each of the issues your encounter as they all focus on increasing compliance :)

Remember however that just because girls flake, take forever to respond or send mixed signals does not necessarily mean she is too attracted to you. You need to look more closely and base your analysis on "what was the initial vibe when you met her" - this can help you pint point if she is doing this because she is too attracted or not attracted enough. Additionally, she could also be attention whoring or simply testing you. Nevertheless the strategy is to increase compliance. 

There are plenty of posts on girls chase regarding the issues you list. However some quick suggestions:

A. Well she wants to play this game, just mirror it. Quick tip, occasionally respond fast and sometimes wait longer. This drives women nuts. But in general if she takes forever to respond, you may want to wait a bit longer before responding. 

B. Well, then you do the same :)

C. Act cool about it. If she suggest another meet, re-schedule. If not, freeze her out and meet other women (hint: she is attention whoring). 

I hope this helps.



Jimbo's picture

Solid post, Alek. I guess one rule of thumb to abide by could be: If she's acting too nervous around you, tone it down. But if she's super chill and still not complying, then she probably isn't into you.

Alek Rolstad's picture

Hey thanks man. 


I believe this is a good rule of thumb too. Sure exceptions may occur, but generally, I think this is a good set of rules!


Tomas's picture

Hi Alek, great post!

One thing to add - when a woman feels zero attraction for you (or even feels repulsion) and has more men to choose from, you probably will never get her compliant. I have a question here - is the former statement correct or is it rather a question of timing, luck, mood etc?

However it's very true that once you get a good game, you can have sex with women who are not much attracted into you. Sometimes there's even no attraction from her side and she still enjoys sex with you... the only thing is that she won't repeat it again. That's the power of excitement and compliance!

I agree that you shouldn't focus on whether she's attracted or not. Her level of raw attraction is out of your influence, once you meet her. The focus should be on how to get her to want you and comply with your moves.

I appreciate the stuff about better game bringing more resistance and auto-rejection. So much true! A beginner gets only the woman who wants him. An advanced seducer, however, gets also a woman who's not much into him and and wants someone else. And he can even make a woman fall in love after one single date and sex with him... only to have her freak out and run away the day after. (this is probably the most absurd situation you can get into)

Thanks, Tomas

irrelevant's picture

This is just a bad-taste mental experiment, yet I think it may add some value to the discussion: a rapist is someone who force compliance: he can have "sex" with anyone he so chooses and succed in forcing, so that probes the point that compliance almost always triumphs attraction, in a very easy way to understand...
thats just to ilustrate "extreme compliance" something I dont recommend trying to get for obvious reasons (always try to stay in the ethical side as Alek recommends)!

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