Tactics Tuesdays: How to Respond to LJBFs | Girls Chase

Tactics Tuesdays: How to Respond to LJBFs

Chase Amante

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let's just be friendsSometimes you make a move on a girl and she hits you with "let's just be friends." Yet just because you got one LJBF doesn't mean you're out of the running…

You make a move on a girl or ask her out.

She looks you firm in the eyes, aaaaand... "I thought we could just be friends!" she tells you.

Just like that, the wind has sucked all the way out of your sails.

I guess you have to just be friends with her now.




I'm kidding. What point is there to that?

You're talking to her because you want her. Either to date her or to have a fun roll in the hay with her.

When she puts the "let's just be friends" (LJBF) frame on you, you're faced with several options... but not all these options are created equal.

Chase AmanteAbout the Author: Chase Amante

Chase woke up one day in 2004 tired of being alone. So, he set to work and read every book he could find, studied every teacher he could meet, and talked to every girl he could talk to to figure out dating. After four years, scads of lays, and many great girlfriends (plus plenty of failures along the way), he launched this website. He will teach you everything he knows about girls in one single program in his One Date System.



1984's picture

Hey chase, thanks for the insightful article. It came at a good time since I just encountered the same problem yesterday.

How would you proceed if the girl LJBF through text?

The story is: I no. closed a girl in direct daygame, (5 min interaction) we texted a few texts and then she took 2 days to reply. Her reply was I'm not her type and she has a bf. I ignored that text and continued replying to her other text.

My exp was that another girl whom i no. closed in the direct daygame (5 second close, didn't even know her name when I got her no. cause she was in a rush LOL). On her second text, she gave me something similar to LJBF, in that she wrote she's not looking to date. I ignored that text, replied to her other texts, and managed to meet her a couple of days later. It fizzled out after that date but I did managed to meet her.

There's also many cases where I texted the girl to hang out and she gave me that LJBF, or they say they have a bf.

What should I reply when they LJBF over text, or is that a lost cause? These girls are all direct daygame, mostly walking sets.

Of course the best solution for me is to fix my problems during the approach itself and I strive to do that, but how can I handle this situation as it comes up during texting?

Thanks for replying.

Chase Amante's picture


Well, you have two options.

Option #1 (ball in her court text) is the one I usually default to:

Her: Hey... just so you know I have a boyfriend and I'm not looking to date right now.

You: Right on. Well, hit me up when your situation changes and we'll meet up then.

Her: Okay!

Maybe 20-25% of these girls I get a "Hey!" message from 2-5 months down the line.

Option #2 is to treat it like she said she just wants to be 'friends' with you (as in, friends-with-benefits-type friends):

Her: Hey... just so you know I have a boyfriend and I'm not looking to date right now.

You: Cool, me neither. Most girls get way too clingy. When shall we meet up... when're you free?

Her: Okay blah blah I could do Thursday blah

This can work sometimes but you need to go in knowing you've got a bit of an uphill battle building more attraction again.

I personally tend to be busy enough I'd rather not waste time on dates that might not pan out. Usually if a girl is texting me something like this it means I screwed something up on the initial meet, which means if i get her out I'm going to be in recovery mode for a while. Unless she's really worth it or I'm really up for a challenge I'm not likely to want to spend my time on it.

There's also the possibility of course that she does like you and just wants to make sure you have no illusions about this being anything other than physical. That'll happen sometimes too.

(I'm really personally all that intersted in girls who have boyfriends / talk openly about having boyfriends. I'll take them if I find out about the boyfriend on the pickup or on the date and we can go to bed right after, but if I need to text back and forth and set up a date I typically do not want to bother. I know I won't be as into it when we meet up, and that'll affect my odds with her... compare that to some guys who really love shagging attached girls, where maybe they get even more of a rush meeting up with a girl like this. So that may influence how much you want to pursue an Option #1 vs. an Option #2 strategy)


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