The Early Boyfriend: Why It's a Bad Idea | Girls Chase

The Early Boyfriend: Why It's a Bad Idea

Chase Amante

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Sometimes, a man will meet a woman he just hits it off with and really likes. He starts spending time with her, doing all kinds of activities with her, just the two of them together, and doing everything a good boyfriend would do – before he’s slept with her.

I call this being an “early boyfriend”, and it’s bad news for all sorts of hideous reasons.

early boyfriend

The bad: being an early boyfriend makes a woman lazy and complacent about actively working to move things forward. Women also take men for granted whom they haven’t become physical with – if a woman hasn’t slept with you yet, she’ll tell herself there’s a good reason why.

Chase AmanteAbout the Author: Chase Amante

Chase woke up one day in 2004 tired of being alone. So, he set to work and read every book he could find, studied every teacher he could meet, and talked to every girl he could talk to to figure out dating. After four years, scads of lays, and many great girlfriends (plus plenty of failures along the way), he launched this website. He will teach you everything he knows about girls in one single program in his One Date System.



Anonymous's picture

I met a girl through my social circle a couple of days ago and we went out in a group to the city centre for a party. I moved her around the venues and eventually she took me home to hers later that night. We had some food to eat at hers and eventually I took her to bed where she wouldn't let me engage her sexually, she only let me kiss her and spoon her. I feel i'm a dominant and sexual guy but she still wouldn't let me advance, it was pretty frustrating.

Since then she's stayed in mine twice where she wouldn't let me advance and we've been on a date with another one scheduled. However she always compliments me sexually and will sit on top of me and grind when she has her panties on.

The question is i'm moving as fast and hard as I can with this girl but she's still not giving it up to me. Technically we've been on one or two dates. I'm starting to wonder whether she will ever 'give it up'. Is there a good way to tell?

Chase Amante's picture

Hey Anon,

What I'd typically recommend for girls like this is you start inviting them exclusively over to your place. Stop going on dates and only see her for dinner at your place. If she complains or says she wants a date, you can tell her she's fulfilled her non-girlfriend date quota and that you don't do more than 2 traditional dates with girls you're not officially together with yet.

Also, check out the post on physical escalation -- might have some useful tips in there.


EJ's picture

Had this happen to me with a girl I was seeing. I used to think I was a beta orbiter, but this post just clarified so much for me. I was the early boyfriend. Took this girl out on dates/ introduced her to friends and met hers. We would text/snapchat/facetime/phone call all around the clock and into the early morning. We would make out alot and I slept in her bed a couple times but I could never get past second base. At the time I had just moved to a new city and knew absolutely no one, so I was enjoying having the presence of a beautiful woman in my life to ease the transition. But after 6 weeks of no intimacy I started evaluating my effort level, and eventually had to cut her off when I realized she was going out on dates with other dudes. Deep down I think she was truly considering me for a long-term relationship (we would talk about plans, kids, goals, etc) but secretly she was searching for a more dominant man for sex in the meantime. It hurt but that's how the game goes, lol. Anyways, glad I found this site, and I won't fall into that trap again.

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