Relationship Communication: The Olive Rule | Girls Chase

Relationship Communication: The Olive Rule

Chase Amante

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relationship communication
Fights and resentment in a relationship can resolve... but not without the right communication. The Olive Rule gives you the ultimate tool to bust relationship roadblocks.

Jesus of Nazareth taught his followers one Golden Rule by which to live their lives, if they wanted to live harmonious, heavenly lives: do unto others as you'd have others do unto you.

It is a rule that appears in many of the world's great religions.

The dhama of Hinduism and Buddhism instructs not to do to others that which you would not want done to you.

Confucius instructs that what you do not wish for yourself, do not do to others.

Among the Yoruba, a Nigerian tribe, there is a proverb that says, "One who is going to take a pointed stick to pinch a baby bird should first try it on himself to feel how it hurts."

While the Golden Rule governs actions toward another individual, there is a Rule like this that governs relationship communication, too.

This rule permits those who follow it to have happier, healthier, less stressful, more productive, closer, better relationships.

It removes the worst obstacles out of the way of relationship happiness between any two people.

And it makes both parties of a relationship view each other with a far more caring, understanding light.

It is a rule I've taken to calling the Olive Rule, and following it will change how you run your relationships.

Chase AmanteAbout the Author: Chase Amante

Chase woke up one day in 2004 tired of being alone. So, he set to work and read every book he could find, studied every teacher he could meet, and talked to every girl he could talk to to figure out dating. After four years, scads of lays, and many great girlfriends (plus plenty of failures along the way), he launched this website. He will teach you everything he knows about girls in one single program in his One Date System.

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Comments

MM S's picture

Hey Chase,

great article- while reading, one question came into my mind: rarely, people are happy to tell you exactly what their weaknesses are (especially when you deal with competetive, high-testosterone people, who aim for winning that argument, not accepting you take the lead here)
Any advice for dealing with that?

Example: most of my previous girls are high-testosterone, competetive people. They sometimes (not always) do not seem overly interested in me taking the lead and resolving, they want to resolve it themselves.
Like I suggest to them they might be projecting something into me (and 99% this is the truth) and they dismiss it immediately telling me „nah, thats bullshit, thats too far away, its YOU proceting ‚blah blah‘“...

So, how to use Olive method with other highly competetive close friends/girlfriends, who do not want to accept your, presumably right, interpretetions?

Cheers man!

d's picture

What do you do if she doesn't want to engage with #4 in the process.

And says something like " I don't want to do this empathy thing. I just want to have a normal conversation. etc. etc."

In my experience, women tend to not like logical process flows such as first I'll listen, then I'll repeat it back as I understand it, then you ....

Maluko's picture

Great post, well written and clear!

Arguments in my relationship do roll out exactly as you described at the beginning of this article. Reading this made me realize that some of the best resolutions me and my girlfriend had after a fight was precisely when I stopped to breathe for a moment and made ter tell me exactly why she was so mad at me. I will consider this technique from now on when having an argument. Thanks for the insight :)

NoLimits's picture

Chase,

Great Article brother.

I have a question about it - does it work with passive aggressiveness ? I have read the article on passive aggressiveness on the site several times, as well as the articles on respect, and it looks like the way you habdle most of these situations is 'calling out the behaviour and then socratic question the person on the subject.

This feels ok but my doubt is still the same.

Let's say you have a friend you feel has been a bit distant. Or less warm toward you lately.

Should you tell him, with a firm and not needy tone, 'man in the last few days I felt like you were colder toward me which is a weird feeling. Is there a problem or did I do something that upset you ? '

Or does that make you look weak since you're not calling the other person right out on the spot ?

Of course, then you would proceed with the olive rule to solve the issue.

I still feel like this site can increase the articles on clear communication and on how to handle passive aggressiveness / repressed feelings by friends / office politics / relationship management etc..

Thanks for all you've created and written, that has made me a stronger, better, and richer man and leader.

NoLimits

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