Do Seducers Seek Women's Approval? | Girls Chase

Do Seducers Seek Women's Approval?

Chase Amante

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seeking female approval
If you go out to flirt and talk with women, and you set up dates, and have sex, does that mean what you’re really after is female approval? Well, yes and no.

There is this argument that resurfaces every so often from the MGTOW/MRA/incel crowd. The argument is that by approaching women, flirting with them, asking them out, and sleeping with them, you are engaged in approval-seeking behavior. A seducer is the ultimate 'approval seeker', by this logic, because he devotes even more time to seeking out women to date and bed than an ordinary guy.

It's an interesting argument.

At its core, there is truth. There's a fair bit of approval seeking among some chunks of dating men. And in general, any public activity you engage in to any extent involves at least a little approval seeking.

Speaking to another human is always going to be a form of approval speaking: you want this other human to acknowledge (and approve of) your thoughts, perspectives, point of view. (If you don't think that's the case, then find me one person who has no reaction when his thoughts or perspectives are rejected and mocked by another individual. Such a man is very rare.)

You want to feel (in the language of today's progressives) validated (approved of) by others.

Chase AmanteAbout the Author: Chase Amante

Chase woke up one day in 2004 tired of being alone. So, he set to work and read every book he could find, studied every teacher he could meet, and talked to every girl he could talk to to figure out dating. After four years, scads of lays, and many great girlfriends (plus plenty of failures along the way), he launched this website. He will teach you everything he knows about girls in one single program in his One Date System.



Subzzy's picture

Hey Chase, how about this argument;
"All men pay for pussy in the long run, but the male ego would rather be fooled into thinking the sex is free than exchanging currency"

I once heard a girl blurt out this statement to a couple of her friends in a conversation I happened to be eavesdropping on.

Since then,I'm somewhat cynical b'se each time I want to do anything for my girlfriend, those words come back to me in rush.

Chase Amante's picture


This is an argument used by whore mongers, gold diggers, and prostitutes to justify the "money for sex" or "gifts for sex" arrangement. It's one of those arguments that sounds very clever on the surface, then dumber and dumber the closer you look at it.

The "you pay for everything" argument is valid about anything. You can argue a woman pays for her man one way or another. "One way or another girl, either you are going to give up your career to raise his kids or you are going to sacrifice the best years of your life catering to his needs. One way or another, you pay for that dick."

You can argue one way or another, you pay for any choice you make. Travel, choice of city, choosing one hobby over another... "one way or another, you pay for it."

It's totally true, about absolutely everything. Which also makes it one of those statements that sounds profound, yet turns out hollow, in 99% of the situations people employ it in.

Here's the truth: some men and some women place a monetary value on vagina. Because that is these people's perspective, they view all vagina this way, and project their valuation of vagina onto other people too. "All vagina has a monetary price, that's how I see it," they say, "and everyone else operates under this same universal law of vagina price, whether he realizes it or not."

It's like saying all (whatever you care about) has a price, because some instances of (whatever you care about) are regularly bought for money, and (whatever you care about) can be framed in an economic argument: "It costs X amount of time to acquire (whatever you care about), therefore we can put a monetary price tag on it, in terms of the opportunity cost you pay by going for (whatever you care about) and not, for instance, working another 20 hours at work and earning the additional income you'd have earned in that time."

It's technically correct, but you can also technically do it with everything, and it is not actually correct in that while some people (mongers, hookers, and gold diggers) view sex as a good to be bought and sold, people who aren't mongers, hookers, or gold diggers do not view it that way, and nor are they "fooling themselves" as mongers, hookers, and gold diggers are wont to think.

I'll give you one other counterexample.

I will state that "All women give their pussy up to the man they truly deserve." Most men and probably next to every woman will argue furiously against that statement, but just like the monetary one, we can argue it's "true" and they're just deluding themselves. "Whatever her reason for giving up pussy to that man, there was a chain of causality that led her there, therefore it's what she's worth and what she deserves."

I don't actually think this -- there are all kinds of reasons people sleep with those who aren't on their level -- but it'd be as easy for me to argue it as the "pussy for money" thing is, and just as easy to call anyone who won't admit it "deluded" or "kidding himself."

There are endless arguments one can construct like this. "Pussy is how women rule society." "The woman's the one who's really in charge because she has the pussy." "The man's the one who's really in charge because he has the active role in sex." "No pussy truly has a price, some women just get off on getting paid to have their pussies pounded." And so on and so forth.

Beware of generalizations. "All X are Y" is never accurate unless you're talking abstract forms.


Zingzoo1's picture

People are just so intent today on making a point that they often don't give any indication that they are thinking in terms of the big picture. And when I mean "big picture", I am referring to how the author of this article has described western society and its evolution. Those references to Reddit were quite a comprehensive read. Whew. In most aspects of our society from which we need to get something relevant out of.. well, we need to first put in an even more relevant amount of preparatory work.. either formal or informal. Often both. For instance, a fine education for a decent career. But then, one also needs to navigate through the harsh corridors of corporate America. So why not practical seduction skill development to get good with women? Skills your parents are not going to.. cannot teach you. Today, I am much more comfortable with and without women because of the seduction skill work I put in over the years. Did I get scads of women to lay? Well, I did lay one or two women here and there. When I look back, that's still plenty more than most men I know have experienced. But, in the process, I also got so used to women, their behavioral traits and shortcomings that they no longer affect me in negative ways. I control  the situation when around them. So I am able to much better focus on other aspects of life now in my 40s. Kudos to this author for putting out such an eloquent, well thought out article.

Chase Amante's picture


That's an excellent comment.

You're in a very good place with women now, and yes, that to me is what each man should have as his ultimate goal with studying seduction.

Beyond the short-term stuff (sex, status, not being left out anymore), beyond the longer term stuff (girlfriend, wife, etc.), it is "Can I get myself to the point with women where they are no longer something I need worry about, obsess over, and devote all my mental energy to?"

Because it is very hard to do that if you haven't climbed that mountain yet.

But once you have, it gets very easy to move past being hung up on women, and instead concern yourself with other (hopefully grander) things.


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