Don't Chicken Out with Women; "Next Time" Never Comes | Girls Chase

Don't Chicken Out with Women; "Next Time" Never Comes

Chase Amante

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dating next time

There are many common errors men make in dating. These errors sabotage in small ways or large ways with women. The errors put guys through endless frustrations... usually of their own doing.

We'll talk about an error today in the way guys often think about "next time." Because it's sort of a big one, but it's likely one you won't stop to reconsider too often.

If you sift back through your memories, I bet you will find instances where you thought "I'll do it next time." See a beautiful girl? "I'll talk to her next time." Talk to beautiful girl? "I'll ask her out next time." On a date with beautiful girl? "I'll ask her home next time." Home alone with beautiful girl? "I'll make a move on her next time." As soon as you read these, I know you know the thoughts are counterproductive. If you're like most men, you still have them sometimes anyway though, don't you?

What's not included are the 'next time' thoughts you don't have. Like "That girl rejected me, but I'll get it next time." Or "My approach sucked. Next time will be better." Or "It's all gone tits-up with this girlfriend. But I'll do things right with my next one."

Men have these 'positive next time' thoughts far less often than they should. Yet they are a key to staying sane in the moment, and heading off neediness before it crops up.

Chase AmanteAbout the Author: Chase Amante

Chase woke up one day in 2004 tired of being alone. So, he set to work and read every book he could find, studied every teacher he could meet, and talked to every girl he could talk to to figure out dating. After four years, scads of lays, and many great girlfriends (plus plenty of failures along the way), he launched this website. He will teach you everything he knows about girls in one single program in his One Date System.

GET CHASE’S ONE DATE SYSTEM

Comments

Kevin Bogard 's picture

Thank you Chase!

Localoca's picture

Hey Chase,

I've always understood the idea of having solid fundamentals, especially when I meet a guy who's clearly more attractive, the first thing I notice is that his fundamentals are spectacular.

I know what these fundamentals are and what needs to be done to practice them. But how do I actually train those?

Often I'll realize my eye contact isn't impressive and I'll work on it a bit then forget about it and later realize that my facial expressions are too tensed so I'll work on those a bit. Then in a month I realize that my eye contact is still shit and my expressions haven't improved.

Is it wiser to take ONE fundamental and work on it until I master it then move on to the next? This looks like it will take a really long.

Another thing that happens is that I forget to actually work on the fundamental. Today I was out socializing on a college campus and now that I'm back, I'm replaying my interactions with girls and I realize that I didn't look at girls from the corner of my eyes, did not particularly focus on the bridge of their noses and spent time scanning and provoking eye contact (violating the eyes that wait part in elite eye contact) and I was planning to use the eye contact half step but just completely forgot.

I'm just so in the moment that I forget these things or I'll do them at start and then forget. I began working on eye contact almost 2 months ago now and I'm not improving because I'm not executing the learning process correctly.

And when I look back 2 years ago I'm not more attractive now (except for my musculature and fashion) but despite working on my fundamentals they didn't improve or perhaps only slightly.

I want to access the elite level of fundamentals, to be in the top 1% of attractive men. I'm ready to put in the work. Can you suggest how to learn? How to apply all of that knowledge on fundamentals in the real world so that I adopt these traits and become really sexy?

(Btw I have an easier time working on my game. For example I mastered conversation within a week and now it's part of me. Same for chase frames. It's only the fundamentals (expressions, eye contact, voice, smile etc that aren't improving spectacularly)

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Localoca-

Yes, don't overwhelm yourself. Pick 2-3 fundamentals you very much want to work on. Stick to these until you have them down enough to move onto the next one. Typially it takes 21 days to replace bad habits (which are what bad fundamentals are) with good ones. So you improve 2-3 fundamentals to a solid baseline every 3 weeks. That might sound slow, but if you're doing 3 at a go, in nine weeks (a little over two months), you may have significantly better eye contact, posture, walk, voice, hair, clothes, mannerisms, movement speed, removed a tic you have, and built a habit of getting much physically closer to women when you speak with them. Those are some big changes in just two months.

Learning any new habit requires constant reminders to yourself to practice the habit. I suggest with fundamentals you choose two you can do all the time (like posture and movement speed) and one you need to practice with people (like eye contact). You can get in the habit of practicing the two while seated at a desk or walking in your home, and when you do, you'll tend to think of eye contact too, since that's one of your three. Then while walking around outside, you can work on all three, and consciously practice eye contact with people you pass. Remembering to practice something mid-conversation is the hardest, because there's a lot going on. So, you work on practicing it when you're not in conversation, and it's easier to remember, and you eventually start to remember to do it in conversations too, or even do it out of habit.

Really you should be reminding yourself throughout the day to do the things you want to work on. This is part of why you only want a few at a time... if there's 10, you'll always be forgetting some. If there're only 2 or 3, easier to remember. If you still forget, jot them down on a little piece of paper and post it somewhere you can't miss it. Look at it frequently. Or stick it in your wallet and take it out to review during downtime. Or put it in a note on your phone and check it every couple hours to remind yourself.

(Btw I have an easier time working on my game. For example I mastered conversation within a week and now it's part of me. Same for chase frames. It's only the fundamentals (expressions, eye contact, voice, smile etc that aren't improving spectacularly)

That's excellent!

So I guess one other thing you can do here, is to ask yourself "What did I do that made these things so easy to master in conversation for me?"

You'll get it figured out. Just need to keep it to a couple at a time, and give yourself constant reminders until you've cemented the new habit in place.

Then, onto the next set of fundamentals you want to learn.

Chase

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