Tactics Tuesdays: Fun Ways to Use Reverse Psychology | Girls Chase

Tactics Tuesdays: Fun Ways to Use Reverse Psychology

Chase Amante

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reverse psychology
“You shouldn’t do this” – there’s no better way to get someone to do it than to tell her not to. Here’s how to use reverse psychology in dating and relationships.

In a comment on my article last week about orgasm anchoring, a reader named Edgy asks:

Hey Chase! Any perspectives on how reverse psychology ties in with seduction?

... and absolutely; it’s a real fun topic.

(aside: apologies for my delays on responding to comments, by the way. We’re doing a reshoot of several of the One Date lessons in May + shooting a bunch of other stuff, and all the logistical, writing, and managing prep for that has left me even less time than usual. I will get to comments, though!)

The gist of reverse psychology is that you advocate for the opposite of what you want someone to think, feel, or do. “Do not push!” written on a button, for instance – you can’t help but want to push that button, just to see what happens.

In terms of dating and relationships, that might mean you tell your date or girlfriend to do the opposite of what you in fact wish her to do. Or it might mean you act like you support the position opposite the one you hope she herself will choose.

Before you think this is some passive-aggressive way to get your way, think again. It’s a quite powerful psychological device – and you can use it in a variety of ways.

Chase AmanteAbout the Author: Chase Amante

Chase woke up one day in 2004 tired of being alone. So, he set to work and read every book he could find, studied every teacher he could meet, and talked to every girl he could talk to to figure out dating. After four years, scads of lays, and many great girlfriends (plus plenty of failures along the way), he launched this website. He will teach you everything he knows about girls in one single program in his One Date System.



Ben's picture

Hey Chase, thanks for the fun article!

Usually when passing tests girls seem to get more into the interaction, is there any reason this wouldn't hold when you get the hard test: actually, I'm extremely X.?
So how would you pass that test and is it worth doing when she isn't so into you?

Chase Amante's picture


Yes, she'll get more engaged when you pass her test, pretty much without fail.

If it's just 'reguar' hard, and not an outright rejection, like:

You: You're probably too much of a goodie two-shoes for me.

Her: ["you can't have me" voice tone] Actually, I'm extremely sexual.

You can reply with something along these lines:

You: Touché. What brings you out tonight?

I've had some good luck turning things around with girls who shot down something quippy I said like this. You need to really be able to roll with unexpected responses though; if you can't immediately switch from 'quippy game' to 'seductive interested game', for instance, she takes the lead and you're out of it. e.g., she gets serious and starts talking about sexual things... a lot of guys who come in quippy get thrown off by this. Or guys think 'it's on' and start treating the interaction like it's farther along than it is, when they need to be sexual yet still challenge her.

There are other ways to respond, like:

Her: ["you can't have me" voice tone] Actually, I'm extremely sexual.

You: Hmm, that's funny. Usually I have a radar for that.


Her: ["you can't have me" voice tone] Actually, I'm extremely sexual.

You: Well maybe you're not so bad after all.

Different styles may suit you better in different moods.


A-jay's picture

The other day, a pretty open-minded fwb came over, and I told her about another girl whom I passed by randomly (I slept with this other girl once way back and have not kept contact with her since, and fwb knows this). When we passed by, the girl said "hi!" and did her attractive smile that I just can't resist. I always melt from the inside.

Back to my fwb who was about to leave. When I told her about thw incident, I finished the story with "I just HATE when girls have to smile to me so attractively! Why are they ALWAYS distracting me on purpose?! UGH..." said with a playful tone. Don't remember my facial expression, but I would guess it was an exaggerated look of disgust.. she came back to my bed to kiss me (it was pretty hot) and tell me that it is good to see me being "frustrated" for once ;)

Of course, she would have to be open-minded (and perhaps know that no romantic relationship can arise between us) to appreciate such a story. I don't think I'd tell this story to someone that might be looking for more with me

A-jay's picture

Okay, so a big lol to my comment above! It is not entirely the example that you might have been thinking about, but for some reason I found it quite reasonable in my head to say "sure, I did some RP recently!" but now I find the example uncorrelated to your theme.. it is more like a fun and teasing way to act disgusted about girls - unless teasing for the sake of teasing (and not moving things forward) could be considered a kind of RP?

Chase Amante's picture


Yeah, not quite reverse psychology... playful reverse psychology would be more like you wanted her to jump on you, and you said, "You know what I HATE? When a hot girl jumps on me and sticks her tits in my face. It's the worst." And then she playfully jumped on you and stuck her tits in your face.

Be careful with "A girl I slept with before smiled at me and it drove me wild" stories. Makes you sound like you're the one who wants the other girl, rather than the other girl wanting you. Doesn't do anything good for you, unless your gal's a super jealous gal who interprets anything as a relationship threat.

Generally it's better to be the guy who never tells her anything about other women, but who exudes something that makes her think he probably does get other women.


America'sAss's picture

Hey Chase, I loved this article! Would you mind doing one on the "contrast principle". It seems to be a great tool in fields like sales, negotiation and persuasion in general. Looking forward to your wisdom on how one could use this in a courtship scenario. Aufwiedersehen!

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