How to be Passionate

Thanks so much for this refreshing article Colt...It's funny because coincidently this subject of passion is something I've been really getting into the past couple of weeks because I've been wanting to become more passionate of life in general ( since I'll admit I've kind of been spiraling into frustration and a little depression lately). This article is exactly what I've needed to hear to snap me back into reality and gain some passion again.

Colt, your writing has improved so much and resembles the quality of Chase's articles. Excellent job on this article as well as your improvement.

Long time Girls Chase follower,
LeFonz

There also fits "Have a decided heart" decision from article about "7 Decisions Every Successful Man Makes" :). It had some perfect steps that helped me with my emotional turmoil really much.

Also I see one thing important there - once you start emphasize the fact that "I am the person who does that" instead of "I am good at"... Well you may dream about being awesome with girls, imagining every moment how girls soft skin will taste and so on, but once you begin you can even reward yourself with words like "I am the winner" and so on even when you don't approach any girl, but let's say you looked at one, smiled to her, she smiled back... and you say yourself that you already are better at girls than you were before. It sounds ridiculous, but for me it helped really much. I needed to get comfortable with idea, that I notice and smile to girls I like until I had courage to whisper "Hello" later even tell sexual "Hello" and so on. Now I am able to banter with random girls quite well and see their eyes shine to me. It's kind of gradual improvement that must happen, and at the start you don't pay much attention to how well you do it, but to the fact that you do it at all. At least this works for me.

Once you get enough successes and list them down on several sheets of paper you have undeniable proof that you progressed and you start to believe that you can achieve pretty much anything.

You pointed idea, that we need approving feedback, but also we need not only external one, but internal where we encourage ourselves to make steps ahead and even when they are tiny we are still going forward. Later with more courage those steps become bigger, but you at least avoid frustration like "I want it all now! I must go out, and the first girl I approach has to be my girlfriend! If you can't assure me this, then screw you and your stuff!" :).

Most of all I liked this "Treat her like she's last girl you'll ever see". It applies even to living like any day is the last of your life, at least to some extent. This way we learn to appreaciate our seconds, minutes, hours. But there you have to deal with some neediness issues I think, but once you see enough successes it is not a problem anymore. You simply enjoy the journey of life, cause it is AMAZING.

This is a critical point:

"And to quote Peter Drucker: “In identifying opportunities for improvement, don’t waste time cultivating skill areas where you have little competence. Instead, concentrate on – and build on – your strengths.”

People would be amazed at how many life coaches and therapists promote the opposite. If the job market demands health care workers, but you're squeamish, do it anyway. That's a recipe for failure.

ALSO:
"The reason why passionate people are so attractive (in all senses of the word) is because all people want to live beautifully. All people want to be creative, express how they feel, and take chances trying to win at the game of life.

But most people leave it at just that desire. From a young age, we are all taught to fit in at all costs. So by the time most people reach adulthood they are taught to cage their eccentricities in order to prevent themselves from looking crazy or out of place. Because, if you’re out of the group, you won’t survive. And this collaborative survival instinct lies at the foundation of all humans. We are social animals, and we become very ineffective or even unhealthy or unstable when faced with solitude."

This contradicts the whole theme of being passionate, certainly on your own terms. Following the crowd and "fitting in" flies in the face of being the alpha or sigma male, and puts the leaders' passions before your own and quashes your own identity. But not fitting in is "unhealthy or unstable?" A confusing passage.