Many people believe that it doesn’t
matter much what you say to a
girl when you chat her up… that 93% of all communication is nonverbal
anyway, and that the words are just filler. Thus, any sexual frame you employ should be
more focused on your body language and less so on your words… they just
aren’t as important, goes the thinking.
This is a misunderstanding of Mehrabian’s study, which showed that somebody’s body language and tone of voice account for 93% of our LIKING for that person… it does not, however, mean that the spoken word only convey 7% of the meaning of any communication.
“Liking” is also largely irrelevant when it comes to seduction –
girls will often sleep with and even get into relationship with guys
that they don’t particularly like… attraction beats liking, hand over
fist, every time.
And if it was true that words only conveyed 7% of what’s being
communicated, it should be perfectly possible to watch a movie in a
foreign language and still understand 93% of what is being said…
Try that some time. :)
If it was true, it should also be
possible to tell a girl to bugger
off… and get a 93% similar response as when telling her that she’s
pretty.
There is, however, a more subtle reason why words matter… and that
reason is frames, and the implications of what is being said.
So what are frames and frame control now?
Well, let’s look at some examples.
Comments
Sexual Frames: The "How-To"
Hey Ricardus, great article regarding sexual frames. All over the website, I notice sexual frames are very important, but I have not found how to set a sexual frame, unless "sexual frame" is another term for chase frames.
How do you set and create a sexual frame?
So how do I use sexual frames?
I think this article talks a lot about the effects and benefits of sexual framing, but very little about how to use and create sexual frames.
How to set sexual frame
Easiest way to create a sexual frame. When you are talking to a girl, no matter where you are, after you have introduced yourself. Pause and look at her with squinted eyes. Say "you know what, you seem like a really nice girl, but I sense a naughty side" Most girls will deny being naughty and you can say "I know your tricks missy" "you are definitely the black lace kind of girl" Girls love this game of pretending to be innocent but secretly being naughty. They can sense when a guy knows her desires and plays the game.
Its kind of like checkers where you can set up your moves to force an opponent into a corner. And when you travel the board (play the game) you work your way to get kings. When you have kings you can move anywhere you want.
See how I made the frame of her seeming a good girl but having that naughty side deep down? And the more she plays along, the farther you can go. Now there will come a point where you might have to say, "ok you are innocent until proven guilty, but I'm the judge and the jury in this town with a big hammer. Guilty as charged. Hope you look cute in an orange jumpsuit"
Another sexual frame: Society is crazy! Today, I saw a huge group of people shouting sex is evil and they looked so angry. I think as long as two people feel connected and attracted to each other sex natural. I am a man who can keep a secret.
Now if she really thinks sex is evil because of her personal beliefs, then you might want to move on to a different girl. But most girls feel like sex is natural and as long as its discreet and they feel emotion towards a man, sex will happen.
Ricardus, you've just helped
Ricardus, you've just helped me to understand a sticking point I've been dealing with for months. I've always thought I only get the frigid girls ;) but now I understand they just need a little push here and there to see the world with my eyes, much more free from inhibitions.
You're the best, man, this site is great. Where are you currently based?
men's internal frames
I know this post is old, so I'm unlikely to get a response. Came across it when searching for ways to pick up women for a threesome. I was particularly interested in the internal frames men create. I'm seeing someone right now who is instinctively gifted at breaking down women's internal and external frames to get laid. He also happens to be good at other things...Anyway, I am also not a novice when it comes to breaking down men's frames, but I usually pick guys who won't break past my barriers and leave me vulnerable. In this case, I have an unfortunate emotional connection evolving, and I'm looking for ways to avoid cutting off the relationship completely. I want to break down his internal frames. Much like the author, he has made a choice not to be exclusive. That appeals to me a lot, but I need to know that I'm number one on the list. What it comes down to is that I need more than sex for the sex to continue to be exciting. Men look to extract sex from women. Women want to extract emotions from men. Help me out guys.
So what if you're not trying to be a sleazy douchebag...
...and are actually into a girl for something beyond 24 hour post-meeting sex? I mean I'm all for one night stands, but this article basically tells you how to manipulate a prude or straight-edge woman to fuck after the first meet. There are plenty of occasions where that has been possible, prude or not (and you don't really need a guide, just a sufficient amount of alcohol), but you know going home on the first meeting would mess up the potential of something meaningful, as much as your dick is telling you to go for it. Maybe I'm in the wrong section, or maybe I'm just "soft."
Fast Sex
First, read this, for the practical aspect of why you want fast sex, not slow:
Then also these four articles to address your mental model about fast sex:
Welcome to the site.
Chase
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