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Seduction

Moving from standard attraction to physical and emotional intimacy with a woman of your choice.

How to Be a Sexy Man

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Towards the end of 2008 and the beginning of 2009, I decided to focus my energies on a new thing I had to learn and get down: how to be sexy. I wanted to give myself a dangerous, edgy, exciting vibe, that compelled women to want me and desire me and be amenable to moving quickly with me. At the time, I didn’t really know how I was going to go about it, but I set to work on cracking the code of sexiness nonetheless.

Two years later, I bed women faster than ever, get strong initial attraction from most of the women I talk to, and get told all the time that I’m handsome, sexy, and good-looking. When I meet new women, they’re more likely than not willing to do as I command very early on in our interactions, and I can often suck them into an almost trance-like state of interest and desire. This was something I was doing only occasionally in early 2008, but am doing regularly and consistently now.

The process of how I went about revamping myself from a cool, friendly, neutral guy to a dangerous, edgy, sexy man is what I’m going to share with you in this post. So strap yourself in and let’s get you turning on some beautiful girls.

The Party Date: Don't Do It

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Just had a chat with a friend about this today. He was doing party dates a lot with girls and getting frustrated that the night never quite ended the way he hoped it would.

The basic idea behind a party date is you’ve met a girl, talked to her on the phone a few times, traded text messages back and forth, and now you’re ready to invite her on a date. So you sit there, wracking your brain… what’d be a fun thing to do? Hmm, well… then, you think of it: the party date! Your friends are having a party this weekend – you should invite this new girl to join you!

After all, a party’d be a great idea, right? Your date can see you with your friends, which will reassure her you’re a sociable guy and people like you, and you can hang out with her in a high-energy environment, and it is after all an excuse to do some drinking, yeah? Maybe she’ll even see you flirting with another girl, and she’ll want you for sure after that.

Well, we already covered the major dos of dating in “Date Templates” and “Simplify Your Dates,” so this piece is going to focus instead on one of the major don’ts. Because, as great as it may seem, inviting your date to a party is one of the worst date ideas you can have the misfortune of falling prey to, and most assuredly something you don’t want to do.

Reactions from Women, or Results with Women?

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I intended for this to be a shorter post, since I’ve put up a few long ones in a row and I didn’t get much sleep last night as I’m still rocking a jet lag (so much for my claims to not be affected by that… it’s good though, I’m waking up early in the morning and cranking on stuff I want to work on, so my jet lag has actually made me more productive). We’ll see if I’m able to write something concise this time, just to shake things up a bit and throw everyone a curve ball. A short article from Chase? Bet you weren’t expecting that!

Well, so, I touched on reactions a bit in “Learning from Reactions: Developing Social Calibration” two months ago (to the day, actually… how about that?), where I mostly stressed how you can use reactions to learn social calibration, but also mentioned that you don’t want to make reactions too much a focus of yours. This post is going to work on explaining why that is.

This is kind of a simple topic, but it’s one almost no one ever thinks about. It’s one of those things you point out to a guy and you watch his face light up like he’s just had a small epiphany. That’s something of a favorite pastime of mine: looking for those ideas that feel simple and intuitive but that no one ever stops and considers... then making people stop and consider them.

Escalation Windows

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Just received the following email from a reader, who was kind enough to allow me to reprint here, preferring to remain anonymous. He asks:

Hey Chase,

I'm not sure if your one to give feedback to random readers of your blog but I was hoping I could get help with this girl. I met her at a party a week ago, and within about 5 minutes of meeting her I was making out with her. We leave the party soon after. I asked her to come back to my place and she declined because she had to get up early which I new was true. So I walk her back to her place and kiss her good night. Flash forward to this weekend where after a week of texting I get her to come over to a small party at my house. I play beer pong with her and talk with her somewhat but she seems very cold. I am able to touch her somewhat but when I do sexual things like touch her butt she moved my hand away. So she left my house pretty abruptly, and becuase I didn't want to see her go that easy I texted her the next day. She basically told me she didn't like me that much in the first place and doesn't want to talk to me anymore, very harsh! I don't know what I did to upset her so much. Also, is it possible to still see this girl again or is it done?

Ah, this sounds like something that used to plague me all the time when I was starting out. It feels super-confusing when it happens to you, too – why on Earth would a girl who really, really liked you one night suddenly pull a complete 180 and be cold to you the next time you saw her? It’s bizarre and mystifying to us, because as men we don’t act that way. Either we like a girl, or we don’t like her. We don’t really, really like her, and then suddenly we hate her guts and treat her like a leper. It does not compute with us.

What causes this reaction in women, though, is in fact the making of the most painful mistake you can realize you’ve made in seduction – having a girl who wanted you but with whom you missed the window to bed her in.

Simplify Your Dates

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By: Chase Amante

Just met with a client who is doing pretty well for himself – he slept with a few girls off a coaching session we had late last year, and is a likeable enough guy in his own right with plenty of women interested in him. During this evening’s session, we discussed a couple of different things, and one of the things we discussed was dating.

One of the things we touched on in dating was having “straightforward dates.” I mentioned how my dates these days typically entail a girl meeting me and going to a café or a bar with me, us having a little to eat and drink, then me inviting her home and us proceeding to get intimate together.

My client said I made it sound easy, but he didn’t think it was. I told him I didn’t really want to do the whole shopping / visiting art galleries / doing crazy things, and neither did the girl; we both just wanted to talk a bit, then get together, so why not just do that? Keep things to straightforward dating, basically.

Walk the Line

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Going to venture into morally questionable territory here, so bear with me. Even if you don’t agree with my decision to get intimate anyway with a girl who loved her boyfriend (though she clearly did quite a lot to put herself in the position to get together with me), I still think the topic we’re going to discuss will be well worth your time, so do read on.

Last night I met a girl for the first time through a social network I’m a part of who was visiting from Shanghai. She was a cute 25 year-old socialite and event manager who was in town to organize a big event at the Water Cube and seemed eager to meet up with me. Good so far.

We met up and grabbed some food and a drink each and talked about the usual stuff: life, goals, dreams, et cetera. Then she mentioned that she would never trust Italian men again, and that Italian men lied, and I was curious, so asked her more.

Being Really, Really Good in Bed

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I’m writing this article not as a “how to” on being a good lover, but rather to explain the rationale behind why I think you ought to be one. I may get around to giving specific insight on technique at some point [UPDATE: see the end of this article for links]; like seduction in general, there’s a lot of advice on the topic but the actual good information is spread out quite far and there’s a lot of nonsense out there. But that’s for another time. Anyway, on with our post…

There are two reasons that nearly every woman I get together with falls very quickly and very deeply in love with me. One of them is that I give a woman a mental and emotional experience like no other man does – I make her feel good, and special, and accepted, but also empowered, emboldened, and ambitious, in ways that probably no one else ever has. I am a motivator, an encourager, and I truly, genuinely want a woman who comes into my life to leave feeling like the world is within her grasp and anything she wants she can reach, with enough determination and perseverance. Women know very quickly that I am one of those rare few people in life who will truly believe in them, and be on their side 100% of the way.

The other reason women fall for me so hard is that I give them better sex than anyone ever has, or likely ever will.

Love at First Sight

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Just walked out the second girl I slept with in a 12-hour period. Oh my, going to need to get a good night’s sleep tonight… and I’m all out of bed sheets.

So I slept with a new girl yesterday who continues this streak I’ve been on of young and inexperienced girls. She’s the second new girl in less than a week to tell me I’m only her second lover, in fact. This is a girl I’d met a few months earlier at a dinner related to some work I was doing at the time. We’d spoken a few times since, and yesterday we had our first date. She spent the night with me, and this morning told me she loved me.

She asked me if I loved her back; I looked at her and gave her a warm smile. “You don’t love me,” she said.

“You don’t love me either,” I told her. “We just got together yesterday!”

“But I loved you the moment I saw you,” she said. “I walked into the restaurant and I saw you, and you smiled at me, and I said, ‘Oh God, I’m in love.’ Didn’t you feel it? Why did you smile at me that way?”

How Girls Show Interest

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Women are subtle in how they show interest. Well, by male standards, anyway. Even when women think they are blatantly obvious, they’re quite often being very subtle by male standards.

Learning to tell how girls show interest is a very valuable skill for a man, because it will allow him to operate with greater assurance he’s making the right move at the right time, and will also allow him to pick up the pace when a woman signals she is ready.

The last couple of girls I slept with surprised me a little at how quickly they were ready to get together. They gave me some hints that probably would’ve seemed fairly subtle; a friend of mine remarked that one of the girls I took home and bedded rather quickly quite recently hadn’t even seemed to be terribly interested in me, and that it just looked like we were having a good conversation. Being able to read the signals they gave me was the main reason I moved as quickly with them as I did.

Need Help Writing Your 2011 Resolutions? Some Suggestions...

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Probably by now you have your New Year’s resolutions all done up and set to go for 2011, and you’re charged up and (hopefully) already setting to work turning those resolutions into reality.

I’ve always been a little anti-New Year’s resolutions myself, but that mostly because I’m just kind of a humbug, contrarian kind of cat. When I stop and think about it, I often do set a number of goals at the very beginning of the year, which for all intents in purposes are, in fact, resolutions for the new year. So, I grudgingly accept that now I, despite my protestations otherwise, do in fact make New Year’s resolutions. And they do, in fact, help.

So if you’re a little on the lazy side, or a bit of a humbug like me, and you don’t usually do resolutions for the next year, I invite you to do things a little different this year and join me in setting a few goals for yourself in 2011.