Seduction

A couple of years ago, there was a huge debate going on in the Dating Advice Community… should you follow a structure when you go out to meet a girl, or should you just improvise to develop your “natural” abilities to seduce her? In a way, this is like a debate between science and art… between the left brain and the right.

And, this debate has actually been settled decades ago, in a different context… watch this clip from time index 1:00.

“It’s a combination of both. Here is the natural instinct, and here is control. You are to combine the two in harmony. If you have one to the extreme, you will be very unscientific. If you have another to the extreme, you become all of a sudden a mechanical man… no longer a human being. So it is a successful combination of both… so therefore it’s not pure naturalness or unnaturalness, the idea is unnatural naturalness, or natural unnaturalness.” – Bruce Lee.

So, let’s have a look at both sides of the coin when it comes to seduction and even to learning new skills in general, and let’s find the best way to marry the two concepts of learned structure and intrinsic ability.

I'm listening to Nassim Nicholas Taleb's book Fooled by Randomness: The Hidden Role of Chance in Life and in the Markets on audio right now. It's a good and insightful listen, and a good refresher, though not much different from what you'll already be familiar with if you're well-acquainted with the effects of happenstance on the world around you. Randomness and luck is an important topic when you talk about pick up and how to get lucky; it was the subject of one of the very first posts that ever went up on this blog, all the way back in December 2008: the brief "Randomness and Success," where I talked about another book I was reading at the time and the need for including quantity in your approach to meeting women.

Last night I had a discussion with a business partner of mine about the nature of randomness and its influence on success. "Surely, it isn't all randomness," she said. "Skill has a big part to do with it."

"That's true," I replied, "skill does have a lot to do with it. A lot depends on the time horizon you're looking at, however. If you're looking at how someone performs over the course of a single week, there's going to be a lot more random variation in there compared to how they perform over the course of a month, which will be a lot more random and less skill-based than how they perform over a year, and so on and so forth. The smaller the time horizon, the bigger the part randomness will play."

In the first edition of this two part series on how to get laid every time, we covered all the ground rules… all the fundamentals about why girls sometimes resist having sex at first, and all the most important ways to deal with it.

Now let’s dive into the topic a bit deeper and look at a few more little ninja tricks and tactics – so you will always know what to do, no matter what the situation.

This is called contingency planning, and we discussed it more broadly in the post on when she doesn't have time (and other contingencies)… today we’ll look at it specifically in the context of the last few yards.

There aren’t many things more frustrating than picking up a beautiful girl, getting her phone number, going out on a date with her, bouncing home together, making out on the bed and getting each other all aroused…

…only to be stopped at the last second!

Maybe she won’t let you take off her panties, or maybe she’ll stop you at her bra… maybe she’ll block you every time you move towards the erogenous zones, or maybe she’ll simply tell you that she won’t sleep with you.

It’s like playing a video game for hours and hours and then losing your last life to the final boss fight… and there is no "save" feature!

This inability to consistently get a girl in bed is an upper-intermediate sticking point… it’s not something you’ll run into a lot when you’re still struggling to summon up your guts to approach girls in the first place.

But it’s also something that is going to happen less and less once you figure out how to get laid with girls consistently.

Personally, I went nuts when I was working on this sticking point… it really IS the most frustrating stage of your learning curve as a seducer, because you end up with blue balls every time!

Let’s see if we can save you from some of that swelling to the point of agony….

For the good of all mankind.

In a fascinating study by Kristina M. Durante of the University of Texas, Austin's Department of Psychology et al., entitled "Changes in Women's Choice of Dress Across the Ovulatory Cycle: Naturalistic and Laboratory Task-Based Evidence," researchers identified a finding that's at once something you probably already guessed was the case, but never saw hard evidence for before: that when women want sex, they dress for it.

Here're the findings of the research:

“Although each data source supported the prediction, the authors found the most dramatic changes in clothing choice in the illustrations [of what each woman would wear out that night]. Ovulatory shifts in clothing choice were moderated by sociosexuality, attractiveness, relationship status, and relationship satisfaction. Sexually unrestricted women, for example, showed greater shifts in preference for revealing clothing worn to the laboratory near ovulation. The authors suggest that clothing preference shifts could reflect an increase in female—female competition near ovulation.”

In other words, when women want sex as they approach the time of the month when they're fertile, they dress more provocatively to attract more male attention and out-compete other females.

When it comes to ways to tell if a girl is horny though, this is just the tip of the iceberg.

Following up on and complementing our post on how to be a good lover, I wanted to share this latest excerpt on the topic of sexual touch; namely, how to do it, when to do it, and where to do it.

For a guy getting started out, touching women sexually can be a big, unnerving deal. How should you touch her? Should you do it on your date? Wait until you've got her alone? Should you not do this at all until the two of you are already lovers? What's okay... and what isn't?

In today's excerpt from my eBook How to Make Girls Chase: Every Tactic and Technique You Need to Get the Girl(s) of Your Dreams, we take a close look at what sexual touch entails and how best to employ it to get the results with women you most want to get.

“Nothing much to do... I’m at home and I think I’m so addicted to your passionate sex... I still can’t get over last night… I love it.”

If you’re not regularly receiving text messages like that, even from seasoned party girls - and you could use a primer on how to be a good lover - read on.

The next text she sent me was:

“Hmm… what is your secret magic?”

I didn’t tell her… but I’m going to tell you.

And if you don't know how to make girls crawl the walls, you really need to learn how to. It does a lot for your confidence… and it does a lot for your ability to hang onto a girl you really like.

Really, there's no reason that you shouldn't be able to give a girl an orgasm multiple times when you're sleeping with her.

And once you're able to do this, then you can approach women knowing that you will give them the best sex of their lives... And that's powerful.