Relationships

A hard relationship target: the guy who isn’t a pushover in his relationships. Rebounders, damsels in distress, and gold diggers beware.

Last week, I kicked off the ‘hard target’ series with a look at the commonest swindlers you’ll meet when dating. I talked about how to recognize them, what their motives are, and how to counter them. You can read Part I of the hard target series here: How to be a Hard Target, Pt. I: Dating.

If you’re just tuning in, a ‘hard target’ is someone who’s not an easy mark for a schemer, predator, two-timer, or manipulator. When a two-timer crosses paths with a hard target, she’ll have a hard time getting anywhere with him. She’ll realize she probably can’t pull one over on him, and either stop trying, or move on to find an easier target.

Being able to recognize those who would use you in ways that don’t benefit you is vital. These individuals will run slipshod on your life if you let them. They often weasel their ways in with charm and ersatz affection, or by causing you to doubt your own intuitions.

In today’s installment of the hard target series, we’ll talk relationships. Namely, how to recognize girls inclined to use you in ways you won’t like. And, how to avoid being used.

As always, my advice if you realize you’re with a girl who’s bad news is “drop her”... However, I realize that’s easier said than done. Once your life is entwined with hers, it can be hard to let go. So, read on, and hopefully we can prevent you getting too deep with a bad news girl before it’s too late... Or give you a few firefighting tactics to limit your exposure to her if it already is.

Not that you should lie. But if you do lie, you’d better be able to handle it when you get caught.

“I’m going to visit a friend of mine one of the days I’m here,” I say to her.

“Oh? Which friend is that?”

“My programmer buddy; we met last time I was in the city.”

“Okay, when are you going to see him?”

I tell her that I’ll be meeting him later in the evening for a beer.

Except I’m not meeting with my programmer friend that day (yes, there is a programmer friend, and I did plan on meeting up with him, too. Just not that day).

My plan is to meet another girl. I met my girlfriend first, but I spent much more time with the other girl before my gal and I eventually saw each other and slept together. This other chick had a boyfriend at the time, and even though we didn’t sleep together – and we still haven’t – she is one of those girls that I’m perfectly content spending time with, even if sex isn’t involved.

Oh, and she has the same name as my girlfriend. Poetic, right?

I explained my plans because the express reason for my visit is to see my gal before I move to a new city. Also because I care about her. I just didn’t see the need to tell her that I was going to see another woman.

A few hours pass by, my girlfriend and I walk around a mall together, grab coffee, and work on some projects. Then, as we’re eating lunch, she asks me again about the friend I’m supposed to meet that night. As she asks, I see her eyes narrow and her focus intensify.

In that moment, I realize she’s caught me. I have an obsessive dedication to the truth, even when it hurts, so I freeze as the moral equations continue from when I earlier decided to not tell her the whole truth.

Of course, if you’re trying to get away with a lie, freezing up is the worst thing you can do.

David Deida’s Way of the Superior Man helps men make their peace with the feminine – and truly understand how men and women fit together.

I finished David Deida’s book, The Way of the Superior Man, in about two hours on a United States flight from the east coast to Seattle. It’s a very fast, easy read. And it’s one of the most powerful and influential books I’ve read recently on how to tap into masculine energy and become a penetrative force in our world today.

David has committed his life to teaching and revolutionizing the way men and women grow sexually and spiritually. He teaches unique multi-day workshops on spiritual growth and sacred intimacy. He is known worldwide for his many writings, videos, and audios on a fully-integrated approach to spirituality. His works and workshops are committed to raising an understanding of our human condition through transformative practices and ideas. David addresses spiritual awakening of mind, body, and heart.

Below, I delve into some takeaways from David’s book that I found useful. There are a total of 51 chapters across eight parts – most as short as two pages. Each of these covers an area of the masculine – as opposed to feminine – that can help us grow as men.

You can sometimes do things for girls to make them more compliant. But you must be strategic in this – and you absolutely can’t supplicate.

Note right up front: this post is for somewhat more advanced guys. At least intermediate-on-up. You need to be fine saying no to girls and not have an overwhelming need to please before you’re ready for this technique. Otherwise, you’re going to end up sabotaging yourself with it.

If you’re a regular Girls Chase reader (or if you own my book), you know how important investment is to doing well with girls. It’s a cornerstone of your success with women. If you’re just catching up and need an investment primer, here’s my three-part compliance series, to wet your whistle:

1. How to Get Her to Say “Yes”
2. What If She Says No?
3. How to Say No to Others and Turn Down Compliance

In my article on Donald Trump persuasion, Lawliet asks a question about giving compliance to get it:

“When we give others compliance, does that increase their compliance in us? In social situations with friends? with meeting girls also? What about in sales? I notice some salesmen help clients do things.

If normally not (ex. Sad shopping guy, helpful guy, horny guy), is there a way to leverage it so it does? I somehow suspect it can (why else would so many guys use it as flirting?), but have not decrypt the key yet (they use it in the wrong way).

Some examples would be great! (love to hear your ancedotals stories)

Just my theory,
Lawliet”

So, yes – this is absolutely a thing.

In his book Influence, Robert Cialdini cites the example of giving free stuff (like a flower) to ask for a donation, a tactic which started at the airport with the Hare Krishnas – which if you’re too young to remember this scourge on American airports, as I am, you can still see preserved historically in the movie Airplane!:

The thing the Airplane! clip shows you is that this tactic is often pretty grating.

The thing it doesn’t tell you – and that Cialdini talks about – is that it can be (and in the case of the Hare Krishnas, it was) extremely effective.

Yet before you go running off to use it in your seductions, we have a few things to discuss about it, first.

Should you date a religious girl? While you burn with passion, “How do I get to sex?” may be all on your mind. Yet there’s more at stake here – for you and her.

This article isn’t going to discuss the “how-to” part of dating religious girls, which Colt has already covered in a separate article. In this article, we’re going to discuss the outcomes of those sorts of relationships (religious girl with non-religious man) and some things to consider when pursuing them. I’m going to use Muslim girls as our example for this article, since here in Western Europe they’re the most devout women you will encounter, and you will face your greatest challenges and risks to both your and her characters and futures dealing with such deep convictions and whether and how to deal with them.

It’s easy to find yourself dating a religious girl and get into that one-track mind: “How do I get this girl into bed?” We see plenty of guys comment on Girls Chase asking this question. What I aim to address here is not the “how” part, but the “what happens if you do” part. Because in your rush to bed such a girl, you can have some pretty big ripple effects – both on her life, identity, and family relationships, and on how you ultimately see yourself and the trajectory your life is on.

Religious differences are a potential source of major arguments that can lead to breakups; or, to the reverse, of finding yourself on a one-way trip to wedding bells, even if all you intended at the outset was a quick fling. Therefore, if you before you engage in a relationship with a religious (especially Muslim!) girl, you should know the likely outcomes beforehand.

Mixing a religious girl with a non-religious man can be a dangerous route to take, especially for the girl, so as a man who is learning about relationships and who is willing to be the leader, your duty includes taking care of the consequences of your actions... So it is a good idea to be informed.

The fuckboy: a guy who offers little more to women than excitement and sex... Yet whom girls keep coming back to, even if they say the hate him.

“Am I fuckboy?” I ask.

She laughs hysterically over the phone. “Oh yeah, for sure!”

I laugh. I expected this answer, as I’ve heard it from pretty much every other girl I’ve asked.

“You know what, actually,” she interjects, “I would say you’re a fuckboy, but you’re a little bit different. You’re definitely an asshole, but I don’t think you’re a fuckboy. I think it’s because you’re honest. You don’t trick girls. You are pretty straightforward about what you want.”

She’s a smart girl and one of the most loyal and devoted lovers I’ve ever had, so her opinion is more nuanced and, frankly, more important than the other women’s.

Whether through extended social circles or very long and frank discussions about my hobbies, philosophies, and the kindness that I show to friends, family, strangers, and lovers, it seems only those who spend a good amount of time with me have seen the lover beneath the fuckboy.

Yet, most won’t see that. To the majority of those I meet in life, I will be labeled a fuckboy and described as sexist, misogynist, disrespectful to women, and all sorts of nasty things.

I accept these labels if only to spit on those people. Anger and hatred is usually a sign you’re doing something right.

To explore then whether the fuckboy life is right for you, I want you to ask yourself a very simple question after reading this article.

To be a fuckboy? Or not to be a fuckboy?

That is the question.

But first…

So you want to teach her how to give you an epic blow job. But where do you start? With the 18 techniques in this article.

You would think that after having over a hundred cocks in her mouth, she’d be better at this. Her enthusiasm is on point – she’s devouring my dick like a starving third world lady who’s only remaining sustenance is my semen. But her technique? Severely lacking.

I give her a few tips as she has her snack.

“More spit.”

“I want to hear you moan more.”

“You can go deeper.”

Then, I stop her. “Baby, has anyone actually taught you to suck dick?”

She laughs and tells me no.

“Seriously? You admitted to sleeping with over a hundred guys, and NO ONE has taught you?”

“No,” she laughs. “They all told me I was really good!”

“Well, they were probably all too happy to get their dicks sucked and didn’t want to risk rocking the boat.”

It isn’t long before she’s gurgling, choking, and pumping my cock like a pornstar. In the midst of her grand performance, I ask her how she’s enjoying herself.

“This is so much more fun!” she says to me. “It’s getting me wet as hell.” Then she goes back to work.