Relationships | Girls Chase

Relationships

The continuing and ongoing encounters and involvement you maintain with a woman once you've slept together and become intimate -- whether weeks or months or years -- or more.

Relationship Communication: The Olive Rule

relationship communication
Fights and resentment in a relationship can resolve... but not without the right communication. The Olive Rule gives you the ultimate tool to bust relationship roadblocks.

Jesus of Nazareth taught his followers one Golden Rule by which to live their lives, if they wanted to live harmonious, heavenly lives: do unto others as you'd have others do unto you.

It is a rule that appears in many of the world's great religions.

The dhama of Hinduism and Buddhism instructs not to do to others that which you would not want done to you.

Confucius instructs that what you do not wish for yourself, do not do to others.

Among the Yoruba, a Nigerian tribe, there is a proverb that says, "One who is going to take a pointed stick to pinch a baby bird should first try it on himself to feel how it hurts."

While the Golden Rule governs actions toward another individual, there is a Rule like this that governs relationship communication, too.

This rule permits those who follow it to have happier, healthier, less stressful, more productive, closer, better relationships.

It removes the worst obstacles out of the way of relationship happiness between any two people.

And it makes both parties of a relationship view each other with a far more caring, understanding light.

It is a rule I've taken to calling the Olive Rule, and following it will change how you run your relationships.

4 Things Long-Distance Relationships Need to Not Fail

long distance relationship
A long-distance relationship can work if it’s well-managed. Heed these four requirements and it could turn out to be the best relationship of your life.

My first ever serious relationship had a pretty standard beginning. But, as I was soon to go off to college, this relatively new relationship became a long-distance relationship. Trying to maintain it was a monumentally stupid decision for many reasons.

I had only just begun my journey into the world of dating. I also had not done such a good job creating a good precedent for the relationship. Many good things came out of the relationship, but so did many bad things. Like I say, pretty standard.

But a large part of my suffering resulted because I did not know how to have a healthy long-distance relationship.

It was not something of beauty that would one day blossom into something even more beautiful. It was a leash that spanned several hundred miles. After this relationship ended, I swore off long-distance relationships. Of course, I've since entered into a few more. As a result, I finally learned how to do them properly.

Yes, long-distance relationships can work, but I would not recommend them for the vast majority of men. But sometimes they just happen. You are traveling and meet a woman who absolutely blows your mind. She is a gem. An angel. And also your sexy little minx.

You must return home to real life (or she to hers), but she is worth the effort to keep. You see a future with her. If only a long-distance relationship could work!

Well, it can... IF these four necessities are met. Without them, a long-distance relationship will surely fail. But with them, you've got a fighting chance.

You Should Never Hook Up with an Ex

hooking up with an ex
You broke up with her for good reasons, but all of a sudden the prospect of hooking up with an ex is staring you right in the dick. Here’s why you should take a pass.

“Maybe you should head home. I think she wants to be alone tonight.”

I was in college at the time, and the girl telling me this was a high school friend. She didn’t know my ex-girlfriend that well and had only just found out about us at the party that night, and she was playing Mother Hen a bit too zealously.

It probably had something to do with her having had a crush on me back in high school.

I immediately saw through her BS.

I stood up, walked past her, and looked for my ex-girlfriend. I found her sitting on a bed in one of the bedrooms (at a friend’s house). As she saw me enter, she smiled and asked me how I was. A few minutes earlier, we were in one of the bathrooms fooling around, and some things were said, the gist being that I was not going to get back together with her.

Now she was telling me how I’d been leading her on, making her think we were going to get back together. I had no idea what she was talking about. I was utterly confused. Stupefied. How did I lead her along? We’ve just been having sex and occasionally hanging out.

It was a crucial moment in my life. I was about to learn how women link sex to love.

She explained to me that it wasn’t just about sex and hanging out. She still had feelings for me and felt that I must also have similar feelings for her, because why else would I continue to sleep with her?

To me, this again seemed strange. In truth, we slept together a few times after breaking up. We broke up a week after our anniversary because she had started some needless drama for the last time, and I told her I wanted to break up.

She quietly cried a little, and then we had sex — because she told me we could still be friends and have sex. So I naturally agreed. Duh. What I didn’t fully grasp was that this was her way of getting me back, and she expected it to work despite having just agreed we could still be friends and have sex. She was using pussy, jealousy, and sweetness to keep me lured in.

9 Ways to Be Romantic Without Being Cheesy

how to be romantic
We all know that trying too hard turns women off, but you still need to show her you care, right? How do you be romantic without going overboard?

It’s a hilarious irony that although romance is the most talked about subject in human history, how to be romantic is a largely misunderstood subject, by both men and women. Keeping a woman happy is a lot easier than the literature would have you believe.

This simplicity is your liberation from the idea of sacrifice as love.

Romance is a simple combination of:

  1. Her being appreciated and noticed

  2. Her being well sexed

She wants to be noticed for both her physical qualities and her personality. She wants to feel sexy and beautiful but also smart, courageous, funny, etc. If you show her and tell her, with earnest sincerity, she will feel these ways because of you.

That’s one half of romance.

She also wants to be desired sexually and ravished. There is no higher compliment to a woman than your hard dick enjoying itself inside of her. But men complicate this, usually in an attempt to not treat her like a sexual being, out of fear or “respect,” which is another cute irony.

The truth is, women want to be objectified sexually, even sometimes without romance. Or, in a serious relationship with romance, or at least moving in that direction, you then add appreciation for her personality to the base of your sexual desire. However, sexual desire is still the foundation and the way of expressing your love.

This is what separates the creepy guy at the bar objectifying her and her adoring, masculine lover, boyfriend, or husband. The creepy guy, or any guy she doesn’t see as dominant, is insulting her by desiring her sexually.

“How could this guy think he has a shot with me?”

Sure, a hundred loser guys liking her photo on Instagram will make her smile and feel validated, but it’s worth one-sixteenth of a sixteenth of a second of her lover’s appreciation for her.

And she has no problem with the sexual objectification, as I said, even if he’s a random HOT stranger. That’s because, for X or Y hot characteristic he has (fashion, charisma, tall, handsome, status, money, devil-may-care attitude, etc.), his sexual attraction is welcomed.

He’s “allowed” to objectify her because she ALSO positively objectifies him (I want to have sex with him, or “I want his babies”).

And this is romance.

It's a combination of appreciation and lust. The question that inevitably follows from any man who knows the nature of women is how to achieve a balance.

Jealous Women Can Be a Good Thing, If You're a Guy

jealous women
Jealous women aren’t always a bad thing, because there’s good jealousy and bad jealousy. The key is to understand the difference and make the good kind work for you.

My first girlfriend (let's call her Sarah) was this perky-breasted firecracker of a love muffin. I was 21, and she was 17 (legal in Canada). We were together for nearly three and a half tumultuous years. At the time I met her, I thought she was the most awesome girl ever. She was cute, smart, and into the same music as me (Indie/Punk). So we got on great, for about a year. Then, from her, I had my first lesson in jealous women.

When I think of jealous women, I think of two types of jealousy: good and bad. These two types have subcategories for inside and outside of a relationship.

Inside: A long-term monogamous relationship (LTR). This involves managing jealousy from your girlfriend or wife. Jealousy inside is mostly negative but can be used to re-establish waning attraction.

For example, you go to a party and have a conversation with an attractive woman. Your girlfriend becomes a little jealous. She knows she’s not your only option and you could get another girl if you broke up. So that night she makes sure to give you really hot sex, and that’s the extent of the consequences you'll face. This is good jealousy inside a relationship.

Or she could become an insanely jealous woman and light your apartment on fire because you smiled at your waitress. That is bad inside jealousy.

Outside: An impending, casual pickup, or non-monogamous relationship. This is dealing with jealousy from a girl who isn’t your girlfriend or wife.

For example, you approach a girl at the bar. She’s sort of interested but not enough to hook up with you. Then, because you’re talking to this attractive girl, another attractive girl notices and hovers near you (preselection). So you start talking to this second girl, which makes the first girl jealous. Now, when you return to her, she’s suddenly very interested in you.

However, if you’re doing really well with a girl and then you switch to another one, you might piss off the first girl, and that’s the end of your seduction. Pitting two jealous women against each other is a powerful tool, with a small chance of backfiring.

Good Jealousy: Used to either create attraction or increase it. It can be utilized both inside or outside of a relationship.

A good jealous woman is one who becomes more attracted to you because of the jealousy. It’s a signifier of your value to other women, which makes you more valuable in her eyes. It doesn’t make her crazy, violent, or depressed.

Bad Jealousy: Jealousy inside a relationship can turn toxic, destroying trust. Outside of it can lead to hurt feelings, and occasionally, violence. Bad jealousy is the cause of destroyed relationships, divorce, sometimes murder, and even suicide.

What to Do After Sex to Keep Women Happy

what to do after sex
Sometimes you meet a girl you want to see again after a night of passion. What you do after sex has a huge impact on whether she’ll want to keep seeing you.

Most of my articles focus on how to get girls for sex, but many men want to know what to do after sex.

Some guys are so shackled by their perceived limitations (Broken Man Syndrome) that they’re surprised when, after sex, a girl may actually want to see them again.

Men with dreams of being players or having harems drop those dreams as soon as they meet a girl who’s a notch more attractive than they’re used to. So they revert, act a little needy, and the girl figures she was duped. “He must not be the cool guy I thought he was. Oh well… next.” Meanwhile, these men are back to cold approaching girls at the mall, chasing the dream of being a player.

If you stumble upon a great girl and want to keep her in your life, what you do after sex is as critical as what you do before it.

What to Do After a Break Up to Heal Completely

how to deal with a breakup
How do you deal with a breakup? Sure, time heals all wounds, but are there ways to accelerate the healing process and shorten your stay in post-breakup oblivion?

If you’ve ever had your soul crushed by an ex-lover, then you’ve asked yourself what to do after a breakup.

My first breakup destroyed me. I was 15, and she was my dream girl, or so I thought. When you’re young, you tend to idealize your girlfriend. I had no clue how to be with a pretty girl, and my neediness drove her away. When she dumped me, I lost my mind. I became temporarily insane, to the point where she joked about getting a restraining order.

I learned a lesson about how to deal with a breakup, and I’ve still had many awful breakups since then. But not nearly as bad. I’m glad I had this experience young, and not in my adult life.

The general rule is, the longer you’ve been together, the harder it is to separate.

When you’ve been together for many months, or years, and then you’re suddenly not together, it’s like losing a limb. You’re not complete. It can lead to deep depression, anger, anxiety, and even extreme actions, like self-harm, suicide, or murder. Yep, some dudes kill themselves because the girlfriend they couldn’t stand being with dumped them. It makes a lot of sense. But such is love, the icy bitch.

There are good and bad ways to deal with a breakup. Obviously, grabbing an AR-15 and unloading at your ex’s place of employment isn’t a viable option.

So with this article, I’ll help you with what to do after a breakup — other than death by cop or jumping off a high ledge.

8 Signs You're Too Good for Her and Need Someone Better

too good for her
Does your relationship feel counterproductive to the life you want? It might be because you are too good for her. Here are some signs it’s time to find someone better.

Have you ever had a girlfriend and asked yourself if you’re too good for her? I have. And that’s about the point when we break up. But a lot of men seem to remain in these relationships, which ultimately turn toxic if they’re not already.

I’ve known men who date women who are obese, alcoholic, sociopathic, racist, ignorant, lazy, materialistic, unclean, stupid — all the worst imaginable traits. Yet they stay with these toxic women for years, some for life.

I could have become one of those guys myself if I hadn’t found this community and learned how to be better with women, to cold approach and learn how to meet new women at will, and develop a taste for self-improvement.

You'll do yourself a favor if you learn how to have abundance with women and not settle for a crappy relationship situation when you don't have to.

Does the Perfect Partner or Relationship Exist?

perfect partnerI suspect this is more an American problem... in part because I haven't seen it so much outside of America, and in part because America is a nation with people uniquely fixated on "I should get what I want -- all of what I want."

However, there is a certain expectation that a perfect partner and/or relationship should be achievable.

To put that into specific terms:

  • It should be possible to find a partner who shares all the same interests as you

  • It should be possible to find a partner who wants time together when you want it, and to be alone when you want to be alone

  • It should be possible to find a partner with the same love language as you, so you are always happy with her ways of showing affection and she is always happy with yours

  • It should be possible to find a partner who always communicates in exactly the way that works best with you, so you always know what the issue is and never encounter drama

  • It should be possible to find a partner whose sex drive exactly matches yours, so the sex is never too little, and never too much

  • It should be possible to find a partner who's fine to do all the chores that you don't want to do

  • It should be possible to find a partner who has all your other requirements, wrapped up into one: your looks requirements, physique requirements, height requirements, intellect requirements, personality requirements, social life requirements. All wrapped up in one

  • It should be possible to find a partner who wants exactly what you want from the relationship (more closeness or just a little closeness; one child or two children or ten children or no children; to live a lavish lifestyle, or to live a minimalist one). And that, should you change your preferences at some point, she will change her preferences at the same time, or nearly so, and the two of you won't grow apart

  • It should be possible to find a partner who is always pleasing and rarely irritating, and never, ever, ever causes a fuss

The perfect partner, and the perfect relationship.

It should be possible... should it?

Because many relationships end due to what we could ultimately boil down to this one consideration: "She just wasn't perfect enough."

6 Things to Do to Start a Relationship Off Strong

start a relationship
When you start a relationship, you set its foundation. How good it is and how long it lasts depend on how strong that foundation is. Be wise, and use these rocks.

A house is built on a solid foundation. Do it any other way, and it will crumble at any moment. It might be tomorrow, or it might be three years from now. Either way, it won’t last as long as it could have had you built it correctly. You must start a relationship the same way you start building a house.

A relationship is a house.

Your actions and her actions are the beams. Your thoughts and her thoughts are the architecture. The feelings between you two are the interior. As the house is taking form, give it a firm foundation to stand on with strong materials.

Here are six ways to ensure that the foundation is solid.