Relationships | Girls Chase

Relationships

The continuing and ongoing encounters and involvement you maintain with a woman once you've slept together and become intimate -- whether weeks or months or years -- or more.

How to Build a Harem, Pt 9: What Happens When Your MLTRs Meet?

What Happens when Your MLTRs Meet?
It’s vital that you don’t let your MLTRs meet each other! To illustrate, here’s what happened when I and 3 of my lovers showed up to the same Tantric seminar.

Welcome back to the Harem series! This year I’ve got more exciting insights and strategies to share about how you can date multiple women simultaneously with their implicit blessing.

One question that always looms in guys’ minds when they’re seeing multiple women is – what should I do when my girlfriends want to meet other girlfriends, or what if they run into each other by chance with you there?

We’ll cover how to handle both situations in this article and the next.

Back in 2017, I created an interesting situation for myself – I’d never tried this before and I was warned about doing it, but I tried anyway to see what would happen.

I invited three of my lovers/girlfriends with me to the same event at the same time. The event was an “Introduction to Tantra” class – and not only did all three lovers show up, but my hottest ex happened to show up as well!

So I think my account of how things played out should prove educational for you guys. So let's dig in.

11 Signs It's Time to Break Up and End the Relationship

Every relationship eventually ends.

Whether it's the girl, the man, or life coming to its end for one of them or both of them, every relationship must end.

Knowing WHEN to break up is of the utmost importance.

When you're just not into her anymore and you don't want to be with her – that's an obvious sign.

But there are other telling signs the relationship is fading and that to leave it now is the best course of action.

They may surprise you, but these signs usually always point to a relationship where the girl isn't giving the man her full loyalty.

And anything less than full loyalty is not something we want, is it?

There will be some who watch this and wonder if we're being overly paranoid, but as someone who has seen quite a few relationships from all angles, I can tell you the early signs of decay and save you from the inevitable fall that can be easily avoided if you heed the signs.

Watch. And learn.

The Red-Black Game, Pt.2: Playing for Self-Preservation

red-black game playing for self-preservation
“Speak softly, and carry a big stick” was Theodore Roosevelt’s suggestion for how to play the Red-Black Game. Let’s talk about why it’s such a great strategy.

In my first article about the red-black game, we covered the mechanics of the game and how the choices involved reflect those we make in life.

We spent a great deal of time analyzing the implications of choosing black, which we use to build support, generate enthusiasm, and win together.

Now let’s look more closely at red and how self-preservation fits into the picture.

We concluded that when it comes to internal issues, where you want stakeholders to win with you, it’s best to play black. Trust, collaborate, cooperate, and play nice but firm. Alternatively, when you have an external issue, where you see a threat that you cannot move to your side, it’s best to play red. Compete, defeat, and do whatever it takes to win.

It’s important to keep in mind that not all people are out for the same thing or have the same values at the same times. Sometimes, circumstances beyond the control of one or both parties make it impossible or impractical to partake in mutually beneficial models.

Unexpected changes in the wind, the market, or personal circumstances can lead to legitimate fear and mistrust in everyone. Mutual benefit is not always a matter of trusting other people in a relationship.

You could trust someone implicitly, but can you always trust the security of the underlying situation, and can you trust that circumstances won’t change? The one constant in life is change, so you should expect and prepare for changes throughout your life.

12 Limiting Beliefs Men Have About Women

limiting beliefs
If you have one of these beliefs about women, it's holding you back... and you probably don't even realize it.

Each man sees the world in a different way.

Some of the differences between how one man sees the world and how the next one does are slight. Other differences, though, are extreme.

If a man holds the right beliefs, he unshackles himself to achieve success beyond his most fantastic hopes and dreams. If he holds beliefs that limit him though, he may stumble into great ravines on the road to wish fulfillment... or he may chain himself fast, so that he never starts on the road to fulfillment at all.

There are four types of limiting beliefs men hold:

  1. Inaccessibility ("I can't get/have what I want")

  2. Over-accessibility ("I can have that whenever I want")

  3. Transience ("Once I have it, I'm destined to lose it")

  4. Permanence ("Once I have it, or someone else does, it's forever")

Those beliefs boil down into two dimensions: one of accessibility, and the other of transience/permanence.

The most accurate belief sets abandoned these extremes. Men who succeed most stop thinking about the world in terms of the blacks and whites of beliefs like these, and view it as a vast world of gray -- a promising world of gray, with boundaries and limitations, but where most things are achievable, though not always easy.

Today we're going to talk about 12 common limiting beliefs men have about women and dating. Hang onto these beliefs, you'll make costly mistakes, or never get far with women at all. Wouldn't it be neat though, to be free of these beliefs -- and free to meet the women you want, date them how you want, and get success with them that seems out of reach to most other men?

The best way to overturn limiting beliefs is through action, because action is where you put your beliefs to the test -- and find out which hold up, and which do not. We'll talk about this below too.

We'll begin with one of the most common limiting beliefs: that girls like that are simply too hot for you.

Dating and Relationship Precedent: Avoid Leading Her On (Video)

Spending time with a cute girl is fun. Enjoying sex and good conversation with her is one of the finest pleasures in life.

But sometimes that's all you want.

As lovers of women, it's paramount that we make sure she knows that's all you want and doesn't get her hopes up for anything more than you can offer.

We want to make women happy and leave them better than we found them.

That's why it's important to understand precedent and expectations, in any kind of relationship, sexual and romantic.

Watch the video to learn how to set the right expectations with women.

The Red-Black Game, Pt.1: An Analogy for Life and Relationships

red-black game analogy for life and relationships
How you play the game of life will determine whether you win or lose. It’s nice if everyone could win all the time, but real life situations often make that impractical.

To close out my writing for the year, I’m going to take a hard look at human behavior in this series. I started writing this article back in January 2018 and, at first, it was one of my most positive – and unrealistic – articles to date.

It put it on the back burner for the rest of the year. Meanwhile, my life unfolded into the greatest whirlwind I’ve ever experienced, a result of the forces of trust and fear, as well as people striving to get what they want from me – and me from them.

When you interact with another human being, there are many elements at play. Two of the biggest are trust and intention. The combination of these two elements – how much you trust someone and how you perceive their intentions – has huge ramifications for how your relationships develop and endure.

This article is a little abstract, but I think it’s a nice model for pondering over how you interact with different people and entities. I’m going to show you a model for approaching your relationships with others for your long-term benefit, whether it be with men or women, in either business or social situations. I’m also going to teach you how to identify when to protect yourself from people who want to hurt, dominate, or take advantage of you.

I believe everyone can grow from this model, and it boils down to one simple thing – when you play a game, everyone wants to win. For you to achieve the strongest level of power in a game, you must ensure that everyone wins their game and are in control of that process.

If you cannot achieve this (i.e., if you cannot win together), then you must ensure that you read the threatening intentions of the other side correctly, successfully dominate the other side, and win against any aggressive threats.

This includes the dating game. Always structure your encounters with women so that both you and her win in the battle. Either dominate your competition or provide winning mechanisms for them, too. We’re going to analyze this by exploring the red-black game.

How to Build a Harem, Pt 8: Non-Monogamy and Revolving Doors

non-monogamy and revolving doors
Non-monogamy can make a woman feel trapped, but if she’s free to sleep with other men and exit the relationship with your blessing, you’re more likely to keep her around.

One of the more peculiar aspects of this non-monogamy relationship style is that you allow your women to sleep with and date other men. You will also have that ability – to sleep with as many women as you want – with your girlfriend’s full consent (but lack of knowledge about the other women).

We are talking about an implicit, non-monogamous, multiple-partner structure here. The main difference between this system and one-sided or implicit monogamy is that you allow your partners to pursue relationships with other partners as well.

With implicit monogamy, the guy forbids his girl to sleep with other men, while he sleeps with other women freely. This always sounds great to guys – needy, possessive alphas push for this the most – but women fear it and feel trapped in such setups. The implicit non-monogamous system grants women more security and freedom.

We’re going to talk about the implications of this because they are quite extensive in terms of how they impact your dating life in the system. All these concepts tie back into everything else we have discussed so far in the Harem series.

Neediness Repulses Women, Abundance Mentality Makes Them Chase

neediness repulses women - abundance makes them chase
Gorgeous women are harangued by clueless, needy guys since the day they blossom. That’s why they bolt at the first sign of neediness… and chase the men who “get it.”

Every woman has an ex-boyfriend who lost his mind.

The media is ripe with crimes of passion, where men transform from lovers to stalkers, or from loyal boyfriends to controlling, jealous, domineering abusers.

They ruin it for all of us.

I used to be a very needy, weak man. Wet toast. Not the alpha-god of charisma that I am today. Even though I was incredibly insecure in grade 7, I still managed to score my first “girlfriend.” It lasted a whole week!

Her name was Despi. A beautiful, rich, Greek girl from another school. Being an introverted kid, I was shocked that she wanted me to call her. A girl likes… me?

“Despi likes Tony!?” they cried. It was my induction into the upper echelons of popularity, social proofed by a girl I didn’t even know yet. Suddenly, kids invited me to parties, sports games, and sleepovers. I was part of a different game now. An adult game without a rule book.

The first night of our short affair, I sat by the telephone, petrified, but I mustered the courage to call her. It went fine, and we agreed to go to a movie. Some nineties romantic comedy.

At the film, I sat there in a state of confusion, pumped with dopamine and adrenaline, wondering what the hell I was supposed to do. I wanted to hold her hand. Can you do that? Just pick it up? Squeeze it and play with its softness? Does she like Metallica? Nintendo? Should I ask?

We didn’t meet again after that.

Fast-forward to grade 8.

How to Build a Harem, Pt 7: The Ethics of Non-Transparency

ethics of non-transparency
In a non-monogamous relationship, is it ethical to keep your partners in the dark about each other? Let’s explore the reasons why it is – for you and for them.

Girls Chase reader Damien asked me a question about a relationship he had with a woman that lasted two years in a non-monogamous setup. He noted that his girlfriend was mostly drama-free and easy to manage, which is the way it should be.

However, Damien also mentioned that he felt like he was lying to her at times by withholding information about what he was doing with other girls. I thought this was an interesting topic to explore in the context of this system and non-monogamy in general.

Damien writes:

“I had a non-monogamous relationship for two years where I ran things exactly like described in this article, but it always felt like I was lying to the girl (even though I was just not telling her the details). Also, that girl was low-drama and easy to manage.

So, should a man tell his partner about all his activities, or is it better for him to protect his partner by withholding certain information that he knows could be harmful to their relationship? It’s a tough question, one that is worthy of an article because it’s the central concept of understanding how the harem system works – and all implicit systems.

We’re going to explore the ethics and philosophy behind the harem system. As you’ll see, the system was not designed to enable men to lie to women – quite the opposite. It was designed to protect and sustain women and to look out for their interests.

It’s a non-monogamous system, so it does largely cater to men. After all, it’s an innate male desire to have sex with many different partners, and there’s no getting around that. For women, the system holds a different promise, and most of it is dependent on the man.

Even monogamous guys who have been with the same woman in a loving relationship for many years feel a desire for other kinds of pussy. Not every guy gives in to their desires, but I do know many men and women in monogamous setups who do, which might make it the most dishonest agreement of all. It’s not just men that have a desire to sleep around. Often, women share the same level of horniness as men – or even more so.

Emotionally, women always desire to be with the strongest man in the pool and seek commitment and security with that man exclusively. Sexuality, however, can be very different.

Most times, a woman won’t cheat on her man or even consider sleeping with other men if she’s sexually satisfied by her main partner, because there’s no reason for her to. With this in mind, let’s talk about the implications of the system.

How to Build a Harem, Pt 6: The Talk

the mltr relationship talk
For each non-monogamous relationship you intend to build, you’ll inevitably have The Talk. If you manage it well and keep a solid frame, odds are she’ll hop on board.

The most defining moment in your relationships – whether in this system, monogamy, or some other kind – will always be “The Talk.”

The Talk is probably the most defining moment in the entire relationship cycle. From the moment you convert a girl from first-time sex to a relationship, to the point when you openly set the terms of the relationship, you’re preparing the girl for The Talk through your behavior, showing her exactly how you’re going to act going forward.

The purpose is to set a frame she’s not likely to have ever heard from a guy before – you’re non-monogamous, and you’re going to see other people while you’re with her.

After The Talk, over time, she will either accept these terms or auto-reject entirely. If you want to keep a girl as a non-monogamous girlfriend while retaining the freedom to date other women – with her blessing – then The Talk is critical.

The reason The Talk is essential is that, up until that point in your relationship with a girl, the most significant anxiety she’ll have around the relationship is knowing where it’s all going.

By this point, you’ve probably been seeing each other for several weeks or months, and since girls have a very limited timeline to enter into relationships and achieve commitment, she wants to be sure she's investing in the right man.

You, on the other hand, need to tell her subtly yet directly that she’s not investing in any “normal” relationship status – and by “normal,” I mean standard, social monogamy. Instead, she’s entering a custom relationship style – one where you care about her and want to see her as your girlfriend, but you’re going to be dating and sleeping with other women.

During The Talk, you’re going to tell her this openly and honestly, and she’ll understand it perfectly. You’re also required to set it up in such a way that you have the best chance of you both getting what you want in the end.

Some people might not agree to this principle, but I can tell you from experience that at least 80% of the women I’ve been with have stuck around after The Talk to date me, sometimes over a long period. Others drop out immediately, and that’s fine.

The beauty of the harem system is that women can step into and out of the harem at any time, something we’re going to address in Part 8 of the series. You should never be concerned about a girl leaving because she rejects the system – in my experience, it’s usually temporary.

Part of the freedom of the harem system – or any implicit non-monogamous system – is that the partners can do whatever they want, providing they’re respectful to each other.

As the dominant partner who will be introducing the system to your girlfriends and essentially asking for their compliance to buy into it, you will be principally responsible for their well-being and how well they understand it.

It's entirely up to you to teach your girls the way you want them to act in this relationship style. The best way to do this is through your behavior, which you’ll back up with The Talk. This is the most defining moment of your relationship, so treat it with respect.