Relationships | Girls Chase

Relationships

The continuing and ongoing encounters and involvement you maintain with a woman once you've slept together and become intimate -- whether weeks or months or years -- or more.

3 Relationship Boundaries You Must Set to Avoid Toxic Situations

relationship rules
By laying down hard, rational boundaries early in your relationship, you foster respect rather than chaos. These 3 boundaries are key in avoiding toxic situations.

Today I met up with one of my best friends, a true natural who really amped up his game in the last few years. He is one of those dudes, who with such a great abundance of hot girls, was non-reactive when he met them. Girls stuck to him like glue, so our notorious Alek Rolstad gave him the nickname “Mr. Magnet.”

Besides our time spent in the field of women, he is my trusted gym buddy. In the last month, he has been absent from our almost-daily lifting sessions. I thought he’d been sick, but he told me a while back that he entered into a monogamous relationship with this girl he’d been seeing. This struck me as odd because this dude seldom felt he could like one girl for the long term.

While grabbing some coffee and catching up on his new relationship, she came by, and I got to meet her. She’s very sweet, but I could sense she was one of those girls who want control over any guy she's with. When she left, I told him what I had perceived, and gave him some pointers about what he should do and not do to have a drama-free and harmonious relationship.

I have a lot of experience with keeping long-term relationships on your own terms. While breaking it down to him, I realized my fellow readers on Girls Chase could benefit from these essential rules – every guy starting a relationship should fervently follow them.

13 Positives of Long-Term Relationships and 6 Drawbacks

long-term relationship
Is a long-term relationship right for you? Guys naturally experience a measure of turmoil when faced with commitment. What could you gain? What could you lose?

Should you be in a long-term relationship, or keep on rocking solo? If you invest enough time into learning pickup, you’ll inevitably find a girlfriend. For some guys, it happens on the first approach, for others, it takes a month, or a year. But it’s only a matter of time before some play-ette snags you into a long-term relationship (LTR).

Trust me, it happens to all of us.

But you do have a choice, even if it means a lifetime of crushing loneliness and regret.

Why Women Make You 'Dead to Them' at Breakup Time

you're dead to me
Everything was great with her... and then out of the blue she went ice cold to you and treated you like as if you were dead to her. Why do women 'dead you out', and what can you do when they do it?

On the Girls Chase Boards, a forum member named Ramshead talks about a girl from work he's been sleeping with casually off-and-on for a year, who suddenly went ice cold on him:

So this girl seems to be mad at me for no reason. We work together and we have had issues in the past. We have been going out on and off since May 2018. No one knows we are seeing each other and it’s not in my interest since I’m fooling around with a few of the girls at the office and surrounding business. We both have made it clear we are not looking for a relationship. She has told me she cares about me a lot.

We went out this Saturday we had dinner at my place and went to the beach to talk everything was cool. We came back to my place and had sex and the next day we texted a bit.

But since Monday she has been ignoring me. We really don’t talk that much at work but we at least say hi or smile at each other. So im still warm to her and say hi but she ignores me or turns around. Yesterday an older lady coworker gave my department Hershey’s kisses. When the girl passed by my desk I said her name but she passed by really fast and I thought she ignored me or didn’t here but she came back and I offered her one and she accepted it and said thank you and left.

Today is when I confirmed she really is mad at me about something. We have an hour lunch and our lunches are 30 minutes apart. We usually run into each other on the street and walk around and talk for a bit. Today was different. I was waiting on the intersection for the light to turn green and I saw her on the opposite corner to my right walking on the green light. I wear sun glasses to walk around and I saw here look at me and pretend like she didn’t see me and kept walking. When my light turned green I crossed. I could have turned to my left and catch up to her but I decided to walk straight.

I’m not sure what’s going on. Is she already ending it, wants me to commit. I’m confused since nothing bad happened over the weekend.

This is a common female behavior that heralds an impending breakup. It won't necessarily always lead to breakup, if you catch it in time to resolve it.

But if it goes untreated too long, bad stuff is assured: cheating, breaking up, tantrums, etc.

I talked about this behavior before, in my article six years ago on emotional association and dissociation. When a woman loses enough faith in you and her relationship with you, she emotionally dissociates from you.

Today I want to talk particularly about the pre-breakup "you're dead to me" dissociation guys run into, though. Because it's an especially nasty sort of dissociation, can be quite distressing, and tends to blindside guys who don't know what it is or where it came from.

How to Never Have a Sexless Relationship (the Sex Trump Card)

sexless relationshipOver the years I've seen friends go through relationships where after a while their woman stops having sex with them. When it happens, the guy is shaken; his self-esteem slides hard. When a man needs something, and is denied it by the woman he thought was there to be his partner for that thing and many others, his view of himself can crater.

I've never had to deal with a sexless relationship for long. A few times in the rockiest parts of soured relationships, I've had female partners do their darnedest to avoid sex with me. I reached a point with one ex like this where it would take me an hour or more of me doing everything I could to break through with her every time before I'd finally get some bone-dry vagina. I've had partners sour enough with me they'd completely dried up for me for sex (like that one), or sometimes firmly denied me for stretches of time.

But in the end, they always ended up pursuing me for sex and initiating on their own again.

I've had some longer relationships... some past the point where other friends' relationships have seen the sex dry completely up. I've had girlfriends whose libidos have waxed and waned. But me getting enough sex with them, except for short tumultuous stretches before I fix whatever the issue is, has never long been a problem.

This is a thing most people dread, the sexless relationship / sexless marriage. It's something when people fall into it, they become lost, confused, lonely, and hurt.

They don't know how to remedy it... and can't find a way out.

Yet, the most reliable cure for sexlessness is a simple one.

It's a position you can adopt that will motivate any partner who wants to keep you to be a whole heck of a lot more flexible with her sex life with you.

That position is this:

I completely understand if you don't want sex. But I NEED sex, and I'm going to HAVE it. If you can't provide it to me, I'll be sad, but again, I understand.

You will find out very quickly at this point whether she wants you enough to change the sex life... or whether things are so far gone it's time for you to hit the eject button.

The Girlfriend Pickup Dip

girlfriend pickup dipIf you're exclusively a monogamous sort of guy, this article won't apply to you at all.

However, if you ever find yourself in situations where you have one or more women you see regularly for sex, yet you're still on the dating scene, looking for new girls to pair up with, you will encounter this.

It's a phenomenon we might call The Girlfriend Pickup Dip.

The Dip looks like this: once you have a woman or two to tend to your sexual needs regularly, your motivation to seek new sex partners begins to dry up.

You grow less driven to secure new girls. Your tolerance for dating-related difficulties (like women flaking, testing you, or sending you mixed signals) erodes.

You may still go out, but the hunger isn't there. It's harder to get higher caliber women, too, despite everything you've been told: that high caliber women like guys who aren't needy, that women want men other women want, that women can 'smell' success... despite these things, when your drive isn't there, women can sense it, and that's the biggest thing. Because high caliber women want men who value them highly, and are willing to put a minimum level of investment in to get them.

Thus, as an almost inevitable consequence, as you bring more women into your life, and 'fill your pipeline' or 'fill up your rotation', you reach a point where your motivation to keep adding new women falls, and you are less-good at getting the really top notch girls you got at your hungriest, as well as just doing the same volume of new girls in general.

This is The Dip, and if you like multiple women in your life, it can be a thorn in your side.

Female Attachment Profiles: Secure, Avoidant, and More

female attachment styles
A woman's attachment style determines whether she is clingy, or distant, or prone to upset at the most trivial thing. Know her style, and you know what to expect.

Early in life, the way someone's parents raise her shapes the way her brain deals with her relationships with other people.

If her parents are loving and supportive, and around enough, and not abusive or neglectful, she'll form a secure attachment style.

Secure attachment is the healthiest form of attachment: it's the ability to form real bonds with other people, free from either neediness or (on the other hand) an urge to 'get away'.

However, not all parents are loving and supportive, or present enough; some are neglectful, or even abusive. Some parents have attachment disorders themselves and simply aren't good at parenting. And when a child grows up with parents like this, she learns different lessons about close relationships, and her brain wires itself to respond differently to closeness.

Depending on her upbringing, she may learn to cling to others for dear life. She may flee closeness, and try to keep space in her relationships. She may have chaotic emotions toward closeness and vacillate between wanting it and pushing it away.

Once you know attachment styles, you can better grasp the women you bring into your life... and better grasp yourself.

How to Ask a Girl to Be Your Girlfriend (Video)

One of the most important questions you’ll ask in your life: “Do you want to be my girlfriend?”

But, should you ask it like that?

Eh.

If not, how should you ask? At some point, you have to ask her, right?

Well, kinda.

I’m about to flip this notion of asking a girl to be your girlfriend on its head.

This is the best way to get a girlfriend.

And it’s so simple.

All you need is a little bit of patience, and some balls.

Make-Up Sex After Fights? 7 BIG Pros and 3 MAJOR Cons

make-up sex
Make-up sex is wild, passionate, and pleasurable. Yet it comes equipped with 3 relationship "cons"… as well as 7 clear "pros."

Think back to your last session of hot make-up sex.

As you no doubt recall (and likely already knew), make-up sex is good.

It's among the best sex you'll ever have. It's incredible for women. It's incredible for men.

What makes make-up sex so deliriously good is the maelstrom of emotions that swirls about the sex. You've just had a big fight... perhaps broken up temporarily, or been just about to.

And then, after both partners had considered or flirted with or begun the process of a split, you pull back from the brink, and get right back into the relationship again -- and right back into one another, with make-up sex.

As a relationships guy, I've had a love-hate relationship with the love-hate roller-coaster that is make-up sex.

I used to recommend against it completely. Engage in make-up sex, as we will see, and you risk encouraging more, increasingly dramatic fights... you risk creating a subconscious driver in both relationship partners (i.e., you and your paramour) to pick fights and even raise the intensity of those fights any time either of you starts to long for good, hot, incredible sex.

Yet after years of telling folks off of make-up sex, I modulated my position. Somewhat.

I switched to "make-up sex can be quite good... IF you know what you're getting into."

We're going to cover three (3) MAJOR 'cons' to make-up sex today.

And then we'll cover the seven (7) big 'pros' to it, right after.

The goal is to make sure you know what you're getting into when you get into make-up sex.

11 Signs It's Time to Break Up

how to know when it's time to break up
Every relationship has issues, but knowing when it’s time to break up can be tough. Ultimately, you must decide what’s most important to you and make your own decision.

How do you know when it’s time to break up with a girl? If you’re at that stage, dude – I’m sorry. If you have to ask yourself that, then you must be going through a rough time.

I used to be what you might call a player. The worst part of that journey was cutting off girls who didn’t have anything wrong with them, but it was just that I wanted to try out more women.

If that sounds like you right now, I’d say be honest. What’s the worst that can happen? Maybe you’re a young dude, and at this stage, you just want to sleep with a lot of women, which is kinda hard to do if you have a serious girlfriend. Such is the way of men.

We’ll of course be discussing other reasons to consider breaking up in this article, but you may already have gotten clued in that this is not a politically correct guide. It’s more clinical and cold-hearted. We’re looking out for our own well-being and dating life here while doing our best to be honest with ourselves.

Ultimately, if your goal is to find the right woman (or women) for you, you don’t want to get stuck with the wrong one any longer than necessary, right?

This advice is about when it’s best to move on and find a better fit or regain your freedom.

Why It’s Not Too Late to Learn Seduction and Reap the Benefits

learn and benefit from seduction as an older man
If you think it’s too late to benefit from learning seduction, think again. Whether for bedding higher-quality girls or improving your relationship, these skills are key.

Dating and seduction do not have to be the exclusive privilege of younger men. Older men can do extremely well, too, because we have many good things going for us! But why should we even begin learning seduction as an older man? Isn’t accumulating conquest after conquest a little bit immature and even pointless? Aren’t we past the age for that? Isn’t a meaningful long-term relationship with a woman you like the ultimate goal?

If you are an older gentleman facing these questions, well, let me tell you this: there are several benefits you would gain from learning seduction, especially if your goal is to find a good woman to settle down with. If you are a younger guy reading this, read on, because you’ll be an older man much sooner than you think!