Opening | Page 15 | Girls Chase

Opening

Your initial approach: how you first start talking to that girl you really like.

11 Best Places Anywhere to Find Single Women At

You arrive in a new town. Maybe you move into your new place, maybe you start to explore the city’s attractions, maybe you check outsome restaurants.

But wherever you go, you can’t seem to get away from that one dominating thought. No matter what you do, your mind keeps coming back to it: finding attractive, single women.

women that are single

It can be somewhat intimidating to go out and find single women in a new town, or even an old one. But in reality… it’s really quite easy. And today I’m going to outline exactly where to find these not-so-elusive single women, and how these places can be applied to pretty much any city.

Shotgun Opening and Reopening Women Later in the Night

Today I want to talk about two different but related kinds of opening:

  • Shotgun opening, and
  • Reopening

You'll mostly use these with women in social nighttime venues (bars and clubs, parties, networking events), but they're practical by day as well, in the right places (charity events or rallies, beach parties, barbecues and cookouts).

Shotgun opening coupled with reopening is an effective one-two punch for talking to lots of girls while not getting overly bogged down in go-nowhere conversations with women who are only interested in you socially, rather than romantically. This is how you work the crowd and build a foundation in social events that you build on later into the evening.

shotgun opening and reopening

Done right, you'll frequently find yourself with a bunch of women who already know you and are comfortable with you and who may even be actively chasing you later into the night, when their walls are up to other men just beginning to approach them fueled by liquid courage (that is, alcohol), who will be standing around wondering how you're getting such warm receptions with all these gals while they face one cold shoulder after another.

Shotgun opening + reopening is how.

Things That Show Women You’re Chasing Them (That’s Bad!)

signs you're chasingIn July's article on granting social status, I mentioned a delicate social situation as an example of a scenario where you'd unfortunately have to deal with an interruption by throwing someone under the bus. A reader asked a clarifying question, wondering if it wasn't possible to deal with that interruption more gracefully toward the interloper:

In the example from the networking event, wouldn't a socially savvy person tell the nerdy guy something like "We were in the middle of a conversation here, is it OK if I get back to you later?" as if to give the guy an out?

Would you in retrospect deal with the incident more like this, or if not, why? While the guy was rude to intrude the way he did, isn't it better to not be rude back?

My response was that, while normally you DO want to respond gracefully here, due to the specifics of this case, because of what's communicated to this new woman you've just met by you explicitly telling someone else you prioritize your just-commenced conversation with her over the one he has just commenced with you (as you would in the graceful way of letting this other individual down), you must take the haughtier tack here, unfortunately, and throw our socially awkward friend to the wolves for stepping between you and this girl and butting into your conversation.

And just what is that bad thing communicated by you telling him explicitly that you're prioritizing your conversation with her over your conversation with him that forces your hand here? Why has he left you with no choice but to dismantle him socially, rather than let him down nicely?

What's communicated to the girl in the explicit case, where she hears you tell him, "I'm in the middle of a conversation with her, please excuse me," is that you're chasing her... that's what.

Why that's communicated, and the other signs you can give off that indicate you're chasing women, is what we'll talk about here.

How to Spot a Girl Looking for Men

girl looking for menImagine yourself walking down a crowded street, teeming with people about you on every side. Or, making your way through a jam-packed bar, or a subway station crammed with people.

Somewhere in that street, bar, or station there is a girl who would love nothing more than to meet you... you, or some other attractive, savvy man who isn't going to hem and haw, but who, rather, is going to take her by the hand and lead her gallantly off on an electric, romantic, and titillating adventure.

How do you spot a girl looking for men like this?

As you're doubtless conscious of, women give off a number subtle signals that they are receptive to meeting new men - and sometimes to your advances in particular.

However, most men are terrible at reading these signals... and most women go home frustrated, empty-handed, and bothered about life's unreliability in providing men who can recognize what they want and give it to them.

But if you knew how to read these signs... if you could pick a woman out of a crowd, point to her, and easily say to yourself, "That girl wants to meet a man right now," you would have a super power few men possess, and one that many women wished men possessed.

That super power, as it were, is within your reach.

9 Terrible Excuses Men Use to Avoid Meeting Great Women

avoid meeting womenEver see a really beautiful woman that you’d love to meet, walking down the sidewalk… she looks like your ideal, and maybe you even imagine how well the two of you would probably hit it off together, and the laughter and smiles and romance and adventures you might share in an unwritten future… and then you just let her walk by, past you without a word, off into the sunset and into being no more than a memory to you, never to know what might have been?

There is an old adage in the seduction community that goes, “It’s better to be rejected than live with regret.”

Yet so many men invent what they might not even identify as excuses for saving their feelings and remaining in a state of inaction… and fear. Today I’m going to put a magnifying glass on these weak excuses and why you should throw them out the window to make substantial changes in your life.

Get Introduced to Girls and Play the Game on 'Easy Mode'

Various readers have asked variations on the following questions on this site before, and it's the question I'd like to address today:

If you want girls chasing you, how do you open? Isn't the very act of walking up to a girl and starting a conversation with her chasing itself?

The answer to that last question is "yes", you are chasing women at the outset of your interactions with them, at least a little bit, although if you know what you're doing, much of the time you can mollify the effects of this early chasing by coming in very smooth and somewhat aloof, and quickly changing the dynamic so that the girl herself is soon chasing you (which is a much more pleasant, exciting, and productive dynamic for both you and her than the alternative is).

However, there is one way to meet new women in which you can start out in the "chased" position, provided you are out with one or more friends who either know the women you want to meet already, or have a good handle on opening and being received well: that is, to get introduced.

get introduced

I've long made use of getting introduced to women both to my own advantage (to have girls falling into my lap) as well as to help out my friends or, sometimes, students, back when I used to train in-field (to throw girls into the friend's or student's lap).

This is one of those things that I rarely hear anyone talk about, and I'm not sure why, because it's like pick up on "easy mode."

And if you're not taking advantage of introductions... well, let's have a look at what you've been missing out on.

7 Approach Invitations You’ll Get from Girls

approach invitationYou stand there, somewhere that you often go, when, out of the corner of your eye, you notice her: a sexy girl in a red, skimpy dress.

Man, I'd love to talk to HER, you think to yourself... but can't think of a way you might go talk to her, or what you might say.

Plus, she's all the way over there, and you're all the way over here; it'd be too obvious if you just walked over there.

You go back to minding your own business.

A few minutes later though, you notice that there she is again - only now, she's hovering about right next to you, looking vaguely lost and confused.

She's over here now! you think. I can't believe it! Luck is on my side! But what if she doesn't respond when I talk to her? How do I know she wants to talk to me?

So, you hesitate... and a moment later, she drifts away, as if remembering where she needed to go and going there instead. Ah, missed my chance, you think.

But it wasn't luck on your side, nor was it blind chance - that was an approach invitation.

The reason she ended up hovering next to you, seemingly on accident, was because she wanted you to approach - and wanted to do everything in her power to help make it easy for you to do so.

And if you aren't recognizing it when women do this, you are most likely missing out on a lot of pretty women who really want to get to know you.

How to Approach a Girl Wherever You Are (Easily)

approach a girlLately I've been noticing a fair amount of guys discussing difficulty approaching women while looking smooth and effortless. Some of the time, they're ending up not approaching girls they like at all, because they can't find the "right angle" or they're waiting for the "right moment," and that moment never comes.

Approaching girls is a bit of an art, but how to approach a girl is not - that you can boil down to distinct bits, pieces, and learnable, repeatable steps.

However, it's also a topic that's shrouded in a lot of general, generic advice and scads of "Just do this [hard-sounding thing] and the girl is yours!"

Before we get into the mechanics on how to approach a girl, a few articles to recommend checking out if you haven't already done so (or, are in need of a refresher):

We'll be using and referring to these principles here - if you're vague or unfamiliar with any of them, make sure you give these a look.

That in mind, let's get you armed up with a process for approaching that takes advantage of the situation and the environment and has you meeting girls as easily as possible, as smoothly as possible, and with the best end point possible (the girls you meet wanting to meet up with you again and exchanging contact details with you - or better).

And we'll do all that with the 4 big mistakes that men make when approaching - and the 10 steps to take to have a near-perfect approach.

What to Do When Girls Act Superior, Rude, and Aloof

Ever find yourself out somewhere, talking to a girl you've just met, and suddenly, inexplicably, have her begin to act superior? As though she knows exactly what you want, sees you through and through, and holds it within her power to give it to you... or not?

act superior

Or, every find yourself alone with a woman who earlier acted very interested in you, touching you, flirting with you, only to have her begin to behave rudely and aloof once the two of you were alone, telling you things outright like you couldn't have her or that she only wanted you as a friend?

Why do girls do this?

That is, why do girls show interest, lead a guy on... and then suddenly turn the tables, run what seems to be a power play like this, and throw the guy's interest back in his face?

Is it to feel juiced up and powerful?

Is it that they really don't know what they want?

Actually, for most women, their intent is far less nefarious than it may at first seem. They aren't trying to trick you, toy with your emotions, or take you for a ride... usually.

But if you want to have this stop happening, and you want to avoid having women suddenly act superior, rude, and aloof where they'd formerly been warm, friendly, and flirty, you need to know a little about what brings this on, what you can do to avoid it, and how to deal with it when it shows up.

How to Break the Ice: 5 Surefire Ways to Entice Her

how to break the iceWhen I was in college, a bunch of my floor mates wanted to know how to break the ice, and as a result started bandying around a new line to use with women. It went like this:

Guy: Hey, do you know how much a polar bear weighs?

Girl: No... how much?

Guy: Enough to break the ice! Hi, I'm Hal.

It's cute, but fortunately for you, there are many more ways you can use to break the ice with women that are a lot less cheesy than this.

Ice-breaking is a "line" than it is a technique, done properly. And there's more to ice-breaking than simply starting a new conversation.

In the article "How to Be Playful: 4 Tips You'll NEED," on the function of playfulness, I noted:

Socially talented men employ playfulness for exactly TWO reasons:
  1. Breaking the ice, and
  2. Reducing tension
... that's it. Playfulness only serves those two functions. They're two sides of the same coin, really - the "ice" that you break is really just the tension that comes before initiating a conversation where no one really knows what to say yet to do that.

And what I'm going to talk about in this article is exactly that - reducing tension, and breaking the ice. Although there are some differences between the two, there's a lot of overlap as well... so we'll cover both in this post.