Investment

Back on the article about gym pickup, The Tool (one of our forum members as well) commented in asking about ways he could meet girls in the gym as a member of the staff, without overstepping professional boundaries:

“It was 8 am and this girl wanted to Tan and she had another hour before she could tan (24 hour law) so she begged and i told her to wait another hour, she stayed in the locker room and came out an hour later, she asked If she could tan yet, I told her 5 more minutes and asked her "so what brings you to the gym this early on a saturday? working out before work or to flirt with the guy at the front desk? She said Haha I am not. I said "you totally are and now your lieing about it...jeeze." she said haha I guess I am. anyway jist of it I deepdived a bit and got her digits saying your a cool girl we should get some coffee sometime. she said sure and baddabing.

Anyway as a staff member things like this are risky for I can lose my job if it was ever found out or I made it awkward for a girl. So would you advise that those guys who are in fact the staff not try to pick up girls at their own gym? ”

My advice to The Tool was to use barriers to get these girls chasing him; it was, in effect, this: be a challenge to women.

In the article excerpt from my eBook entitled "How to Challenge Women," I discussed why you want to be challenging women, how it helps you, and what the potential risks are if you take it too far. And I offered a few strategies from the book on not being too little of a challenge.

But what about really being a challenge to women? Is it possible to use conversation and communication to set things up so that women are pursuing you, regardless of whether they were or weren't at first?

Sure, it's absolutely possible.

And, it's a heck of a lot easier than you might think.

Note from Chase: Eric is one of the members of the new Girls Chase forum who showed up on the scene with a bang. Offering sage advice to many of the beginner and intermediate-level members, he's quickly demonstrated both an intuitive grasp of a lot of the more advanced concepts in seduction, and a solid and developing ability to break down those concepts into understandable chunks. He asked me if I might be interested in letting him write a few things for the site - I told him I'd be honored. Here's Eric, with his debut article.

In case you aren't quite acquainted with me, I'm a frequent member of the site as well as on the new forum (which is doing quite well - we have a great community thus far). You've probably seen me replying to posts on the blog here in the comments section as "Anon."

Earlier this week I went through a few questions on our forums, and I stumbled across one in particular from a student of the game. I was about to go more in-depth, but I realized to properly explain it, it was going to take a proper write-up, and I thought the answer I had to give would benefit a lot more guys than just whoever reads that forum post.

I wanted to put it on the blog.

I briefly explained the concept a little on the forums, in a response that focused on getting your conversation into "automatic," and the reception was, essentially, this:

“Wow, the insights here are incredible. All the things you said, just these behavioral changes seem so simple, but I can see it working. Is there a certain guide to doing just that? How to make normal conversation or “autopilot” conversation be able to turn on a girl?”

I sent a message to Chase wondering if I should write some stuff up, if that'd be something he'd be open to and something he'd have, and he gave me the go ahead.

Thus, this post - on the other side of effort: efficiency in seduction.

Whether you're working your way through college or a master's program or you're taking adult education classes on the side in another language or a new skill you'd like to get down, you've probably run into girls in class you liked at some point or another.

Heck, maybe even in most of the classes you've taken you've run into a few!

And if you have, you've probably also run into the scenario common to most guys who've had cute girls in their classes:

1. Spot pretty girl in class
2. Try and sit near pretty girl
3. Try to make eye contact with her
4. Maybe exchange a few words
5. Try and work together with her, maybe on a project
6. Try and impress her in class - telling jokes, say, or knowing all the answers
7. Eventually it seems like maybe she likes you - but then nothing happens

You can easily spend one semester after another doing this, always feeling like girls like you, and never getting anywhere with them. And that's frustrating.

If you've ever sat there admiring some beautiful girl in class, then never made a move, you know what I'm talking about. She made class a lot more interesting and exciting to attend... but that was about it. Wouldn't it be great if you could actually meet these pretty girls in class and date them?

A lot of the advice out there centers on getting you flirting with girls in class... eye contact, teasing, and all that jazz. To me though, that's a big waste of time. ANYBODY can flirt with a girl in one of his classes... what we want to get you doing is asking them OUT.

So let's get you asking them out.

When you start tackling women and dating as a skill set, once you get past the initial hump of overcoming the approach anxiety you feel and getting yourself into a routine of getting out to meet new women regularly and build up experiences and test out new things, it becomes one of the more addictive things you'll do.

For most people, meeting attractive members of the opposite sex that they like is one of the most rewarding things out there, and when you start learning how to pick up a girl you realize more power and flexibility in that arena than most ever will. It's... intoxicating.

And then you hit a plateau.

You stop improving.

Things get hard... frustrating... you hit a barrier it starts to feel like you'll never get through.

Last week on the post about indirect game, Balla made a comment about one of these barriers he'd hit, and it was one I recognized myself, because it plagued me for a long time. Here's his comment:

“Hey chase, just want to say i like how you stay so apart of this website and help us guys out but can you please tell me what I'm doing wrong. I come straight out with my interest to females, I move fast, i dont stick around them very long or do any of that friend zone crap because my time is important, they give me so much attention, they flirt with me, they hug up all over me and hold hands, they buy me things and drive me around. I get treated like a star with all the compliance I get but when it comes to them coming over my pad it never happens. What's going on?”

What's happening to Balla - and what happened to me, and what happens to most guys who learn game - is all about one big, and very annoying when you're going through it, problem: women not taking you seriously.

And to get you over that hump, I've put together this article, on entirely that topic; to teach you once and for all the ways to have a girl take you seriously.

A reader writes in to ask about trying too hard:

“I haven't seen any posts yet by you about a particular subject--neediness and trying too hard.

In fact, I just read one of your posts "What regular men don't know" where you are a proponent of making yourself into an attractive man and getting better with women an obsession.

Personally I have had a few different people tell me lately that I'm "trying too hard." I don't know what this means. Without trying, I will get nowhere. At first I thought they were right, but now I'm thinking they were just jealous I was trying to change when they weren't.

Could you write a post on this inner game issue? What does it mean to "try too hard" and when does getting better with women become a bad thing? How do you make sure to keep consistently trying to get better without having people tell you you're trying too hard?

Or should I say screw 'em and keep on doin my own thing?”

I was speaking with a former student of mine about this a few weeks back. We'd talked about him tweaking a vibe he gives off, where it feels as though he's trying a bit too hard. He wasn't totally aware of it, but he'd heard it from multiple people and he asked me if I could put my finger on it and help him figure out why he was getting that kind of reaction from people and how to get around it.

Honestly, trying too hard is one of the most difficult things to explain to someone, and one of the most difficult things to stop.

But I myself was guilty of it for a long time once, and since there's some interest in the topic, let me take a crack at explaining what this is, and what you can do about it.

In yesterday’s post on ways you can lose a girlfriend, we went over the 4 things that can and almost universally WILL lead to the demise of your relationship (when you’re guilty of them): being too weak, fighting too much, bad sex, and taking her for granted.

Those things happen. In fact, they happen so much, it’s my (relatively conservative, I think) estimation that they happen 90% of the time… because something close to 90% (or more) of relationships come to an end sometime before death does them part.

Because of that, breakups end up being an inevitable fact of romantic life. Unless you’re one of the vanishingly few people out there who marries his high school sweetheart without ever kissing another girl and the two of you go onto spend the next 60 or 70 years in blissful union (and if you are, hats off to you! But why are you reading this blog?), you’re going to experience a breakup at some point.

And then it’ll be time to move on.

But like I mentioned in yesterday’s post, nobody WANTS to move on.

Everybody wants to know how to get their ex back. At least, everybody searching for information on the topic, that is.

Yet I promised a post to the readers yesterday on putting the past behind them and gearing up for the future. So let’s say you’re one of those few individuals who HAS reached that point where he’s said, "You know what? It IS time to move on."

Once you’ve decided it’s what you want to do… how do you get over your ex?

So let’s say you do a great job with everything we’ve covered so far in the relationship series. You romance a girl, make her fall in love with you, weed out relationship drama, and build yourself a happy, healthy, rewarding relationship. There’s no way for you to lose a girlfriend now… right?

Well… not quite.

As it were, there are exactly FOUR ways to lose your girl, and quickly.

And you don’t have to do all of them.

You just have to do ONE of them.

Because in the case of relationships, just ONE of these is all it takes to break Humpty Dumpty to pieces and cause you to lose your girlfriend for good.

Below, I list out what exactly of these four ways are… and what the one exception is to this rule of four.