Confidence | Page 57 | Girls Chase

Confidence

How confidence affects results with women, and how to get your confidence, boldness, and "inner game" tightened up and running smoothly.

Never Give Up: The ONE KEY to Success with Women

Ricardus Domino's picture

never give up“Drop the hype, Ricardus!

Can there really be just ONE key to success? If it was that easy, then why wouldn’t everybody be doing it?”

Well, I didn’t say it was EASY. I said it was THE KEY!

I understand you’re probably skeptical about such a claim – I know I would be.

But by the time you’ve finished reading this article, I’m sure you will agree: If you use this one key, you WILL succeed… there’s just no way around it.

And it you don’t use it, you WILL fail… JUST as inevitably.

Okay, okay… so WHAT IS this key?

In almost a decade of studying psychology and social interactions, I have noticed a very disturbing phenomenon: about 95% of people who try to improve their dating life NEVER reach their IDEAL goal.

This article will put YOU in the other 5%.

Of course most people eventually find SOMEBODY to settle for… but the great majority of people never really attract their DREAM partner… and they never really build the PERFECT social life style.

This is not only true for dating:

  • 95% of people who start a business never reach true financial independence (or at least not before they’re too old to truly enjoy it).
  • 95% of people who get into body building never develop that show-stopper physique that makes girls break into sweat when they walk past them at the beach.
  • 95% of people who want to travel the world never end up taking the plunge… they never dare to quit their job and their apartment and buy that plane ticket to freedom.

How come we often set goals and don’t achieve them? Is it because the goals were unrealistic to begin with?

Certainly NOT.

There are MANY people in the world who are already the exact life style you want right NOW… so it is definitely POSSIBLE!

The question is then - what makes the difference between the 5% of people who live the lives of their dreams… and the 95% that do not?

The 3 Things to Know If You Want to Be Charismatic

Ricardus Domino's picture

be charismaticSome guys seem to be born lucky... They have a natural charisma about them that just magically DRAWS people in. Women are attracted to them, men follow their lead, and everybody likes to be around them. They just KNOW how to be charismatic, and no one ever had to teach it to them.

For centuries, people have been wondering what exactly this magical aura is, and what causes somebody to have it.

In fact, the French call it the “je-ne-sais-quoi” – in English: the “I don’t know what.”

You will even hear women say these exact words when they talk about a man they find irresistibly attractive. “I just don’t know what it IS about him!” – Because often this man isn’t particularly PHYSICALLY attractive.

And while women don’t know why they like him, they also can’t stop calling him, or dropping whatever it is they’re doing to meet up with him… or sleeping with him, for that matter.

Many people simply admit defeat around this kind of man… they think he got lucky, he “has it”, and that “you have to be born with it”.

But is that really logical? If you did the exact same things as this man – if you behaved in the same way, had the same body language, and said the same words – if you KNEW how to be charismatic – wouldn’t you have the same effect on people?

No brainer… of COURSE you would.

A world-famous chef might be able to prepare a better “Crème Brûlée” than you can – and he may have a lot of talent in this area that you don’t have.

But guess what. If you can take the exact same ingredients and combine them in the exact same way, you WILL get the exact same dish.

No two ways about it.

Can't-Miss Tips for Getting the First Kiss with a Girl

Ricardus Domino's picture

first kissAh, the first kiss.

Does the following sound familiar?

"This conversation with her is going great... man, she’s a real cutie… and she seems to be having a good time too... maybe... yes... I *think* she's flirting with me too!

"But... what if I try to kiss her now and she rejects me? I'll have made a fool out of myself... and maybe that'll blow all my chances with her... I can't take that risk... I better play it safe."

This is a pre-recorded voice message, installed on just about every man's mental hard-drive… at birth.

(It almost seems mother nature doesn’t want you to produce offspring at all sometimes, doesn’t it?)

So… we need to scramble that file... and fast.

FACT: If she’s talking to you, one on one, chances are she likes you… or she’s at least considering the possibility.

Which means, she’s EXPECTING you to kiss her… and in fact, it will even be WEIRD to her if you don’t make a move.

She will think that you’re either not that into her, or that you just don’t have the balls to take things to the next level… and either way, it will cause her interest in you to diminish.

It’s ironic… men are afraid to ruin their chances by making a move, when in reality the opposite is true… not taking things to a physical level with a woman is the number ONE reason why guys end up in the dreaded “friend-zone”!

A Good First Impression: Making One Every Time

Ricardus Domino's picture

good first impressionAs we all know, you don't get a second chance to make a good first impression. And this is more than just a cliché... this is HUGE!

I'll say it again: You just DON'T get a second chance!

Studies in the field of sales have confirmed the old adage. As it turns out, 80% of our perception of a person is formed in the first 3 minutes. But what’s more: 80% of THAT takes place in the first few SECONDS!

Do I have your attention?

Good.

So, what is the ideal first impression a girl should have of you?

If you don't know the answer to this question, you might be practicing the WRONG things… which means that all the hard sweat, blood and tears you invest might actually make your first impression LESS favorable.

What do you think? Should you be

  • Friendly or Macho?
  • Tough or Charming?
  • Dominant or Likeable?

What kind of first impression will make her feel ATTRACTED to you?

Let’s take a closer look. Your first impression comes down to three things:

And number three is the biggie.

How to Be a Dominant Man: What You Didn't Know About the 'Winner Effect'

Chase Amante's picture

how to be a dominant manDominance is a touchy topic. It's positively loaded with cultural baggage - in the West, we're averse to both the idea of being dominant over others and of others being dominant over us. It has all kinds of ill-favored connotations that most would rather just avoid. I'm throwing all of that out today though and talking to you about how to be a dominant man, political correctness and sensitivity aside - and I'm going to teach you a lot of things you didn't know about dominance before today.

In the post on how to be an alpha male (without becoming a stereotype), we broke down the difference between what's generally thought of as "alpha" and what alpha actually is, and about the character of the nomad -- the man who's neither alpha, nor beta, nor any other role in a social hierarchy, but instead operates outside it entirely.

I've long noticed a failure to differentiate among "being alpha" and "being dominant" in those who discuss social dynamics. They're treated as one and the same -- if you're being alpha, you're dominant, and if you're being dominant, you're alpha.

But they aren't the same. Being alpha's about heading up your group.

Meanwhile, being dominant... that's about something else altogether. What that is -- that and the winner effect -- is what this article is all about.

Tactics Tuesdays: Going Out Alone to Meet Women

Ricardus Domino's picture

going out aloneIt has been said that people are more afraid of public speaking than they are of death… Seinfeld’s little twist on this idea is that at a funeral, people would rather be lying in the coffin than giving the eulogy.

I believe there is something that we fear even more than public speaking: approaching beautiful women. And this fear gets multiplied when we’re going out alone, without our buddies and “wingmen” around.

I remember the first time I went out ALONE to meet girls. Just the thought of it made me nervous, but I had been told that it’s a great exercise to build confidence and social skills.

Right after I left the house I realized I was hungry… and got something to eat. But while I was still waiting for my food, I became aware that this was nothing but creative avoidance – I was giving myself reasons to put off the dreaded exercise until the last possible moment!

And once I had left the restaurant, I started REALLY getting nervous… and psyching myself out. After half an hour of this, I couldn’t even have asked a girl what time it was… leave alone flirt with one!

Thank God I’ve long since overcome this hurdle, but the question is…

Guest Post: How to Truly Get Intimate with a Girl

Chase Amante's picture

get intimate with a girlAaron Sleazy is the author of Sleazy Stories: Confessions of an Infamous Modern Seducer of Women, chronicling his memoirs as a seducer, and Debunking the Seduction Community, a critical analysis of the commercial pick up and seduction industry. His newly released how-to book, Minimal Game: The No-Nonsense Guide to Getting Girls, gives a brief, insightful look into his barebones efficient-as-possible style at getting girls fast with little time or talk.

In this guest post, he discusses an issue a lot of guys run into, especially when looking for a girl they might want as a girlfriend. Every guy wants to know get to know a girl before committing to anything, and here Aaron takes the process a step further -- he discusses why if you really want to get intimate with a girl on an emotional level, you need to take her as your lover first.

How to Talk to Girls and Make Them Want You

Chase Amante's picture

how to talk to girlsA few days ago, a very perceptive reader wrote in to share with me an insight he'd had after reading over the blog here again and reading the appendices at the end of my seduction ebook. It was, he said, a profound realization about how to talk to girls that he'd seen me using and others using, and it was something that, when he told me about it, I immediately realized was something I'd once known consciously but had long slipped into the forgotten parts of my memory that were accessed only intuitively and subconsciously in conversation, without ever realizing it.

That reader called it "taking off the mask." Here's the relevant part of his email:

Over the past few weeks I've been noticing something about your posts and really every other seducer/PUA. I've noticed that the ones that really know how to handle women all demonstrate one quality.

They see through the BS!

I've been reading through some of your posts and the Girls Chase appendices and when you talk to women you go straight to her "real" self. The "real" self the girl in her that's still romantic, the girl who wants all her sexual fantasies to come true. You don't ever allow women to put on that mask around you, you make sure she can let her hair down and just be herself.

In a flash, I remembered it being 2006, and me for the first time approaching hordes and hordes of women. It was such a confusing time; women would say things -- crazy things, unexpected things -- and I didn't know how to react.

What do you say when a girl tells you she has a boyfriend?

What do you do when she's acting flighty and disinterested?

How do you keep her engaged in a loud nightclub filled with distractions, or on a busy street when there's somewhere she very much has to be?

I remembered how confusing talking to women used to be. And I realized that the way I go about talking to women and interacting with them these days isn't just better -- it's different. It's categorically, unequivocally, incontrovertibly different from how I used to talk to women.

I'm coming from a different place, and my thoughts are on much different matters. And if I can help get you there -- or at least illuminate the path -- I think I can rapidly speed up the process you learn by.

Tactics Tuesdays: Making the First Phone Call to a Girl

Chase Amante's picture

first phone callThere used to be a time when from time to time I'd get a girl's phone number, and then I'd never talk to her again. No first text. No first phone call. Nothing.

Making that first phone call to a girl felt like the hardest thing in the world to do. I was a mess of nerves every time I had to do it. And sometimes I couldn't.

But you never know which one of those first phone calls might be one that'll set your life on a different path. There was a beautiful girl I'd met at a nightclub one night in the summer of 2006 with whom I swapped numbers, and, thinking about it the next day, I was almost too nervous to call. I took out my phone, and went to put it away; I knew if I didn't call her then, I'd never call her. But, unlike so many other occasions back then, I soldiered on and forced myself to make the call.

That beautiful girl from the nightclub I almost didn't call answered my call, and ultimately ended up becoming one of the most important people I ever had in my life and gave me the deepest relationship I've ever had.

And, because I'd been so afraid to call, I'd been a hare's breath away from missing it.

So how do you kick your fear to the curb and get yourself calling the amazing women you meet? How do you get yourself bringing these women into your life, instead of wordlessly letting them slip away?

Well, I devised a few simple, but handy, strategies in the intervening years to make sure that first phone call goes as smoothly, painlessly, and successfully as possible. And I'd like to share those with you here.

How to Be a Powerful Man: The Secret You Didn't Know

Chase Amante's picture

how to be a powerful manI sat there staring for a moment at the woman who'd walked outside to tell me to clear out, thinking about how to be a powerful man in a situation like this. I was sitting at an empty table -- one of about thirty of them -- in a largely empty seating area in the middle of a square surrounded by a bunch of restaurants.

"You can't sit here, sorry," she told me. I'd gotten my food at one of the restaurants ringing the square. She apparently was from another one. "This seating is only for our customers."

I looked slowly out over the tables. Then I looked back to her. "All of this?" I said, gesturing to the entire square of empty tables.

"Yes," she said. "That's all ours."

I briefly considered. On the one hand, it was incredibly unnecessary for her to come and ask me to get up and leave. It's not like there was a mad grab for tables; they were almost all empty. And it wasn't like me sitting at the table was going to wear the chair out or anything. I supposed there was the risk that I'd leave some crumbs or garbage or something and she'd have to clean up after a non-customer.

But on the other hand, it was her restaurant's private property. They paid for it, they owned the rights to it, and they had final say on who gets to use it, when, and why. That's how it works in cities, where there's basically no public property. Fighting back means fighting the system; police or security get called, and then it's a big mess.

"Okay," I said. "Which restaurant are you?" I asked her. "That one?" I said, pointing to a classy Japanese place.

"No," she said, "that one." She pointed toward a tiny little deli. I had a hard time imagining a deli was going to fill up all these seats with paying customers and that owning the rights to use this big outdoor square (and spending the time to police it all) was worth it.

"Okay," I said, after another moment. "I'll head elsewhere." I slowly started packing up my food.

"Sorry," she said quietly, and walked off, leaving me to pack up and leave. I noticed there'd been some people who'd stopped to watch the interaction. As I slowly packed my things and left, they turned and went their ways.

After I left, I realized I should've just ordered a bottled water for $1 or whatever it was from the deli. I'll do that next time. But regardless, it got me thinking about looking powerful even when you're not getting your way, which can end up being something that makes or breaks your interactions with women, more often than you might care to think.