Confidence | Page 61 | Girls Chase

Confidence

How confidence affects results with women, and how to get your confidence, boldness, and "inner game" tightened up and running smoothly.

Phone Calls on Dates

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By: Chase Amante

Was just talking with a good friend of mine about dating etiquette, and he asked me if I ever request that women turn their cell phones off on dates. He said he finds it quite annoying when girls are taking calls and texts while they’re spending time with him.

I can certainly understand that. I think it’s a common human reaction, feeling ignored or mildly disrespected when someone who’s supposed to be there for you isn’t entirely present in the moment and there for you; at the same time she’s on a date with you, she’s busy communicating with other people. How rude.

Me though, I never tell girls not to take those dating phone calls or not respond to those text messages they get when they’re out with me. The closest I’ve come is when things have been hot and heavy with a girl and someone starts blowing up her phone, and if she seems reluctant to answer it I’ll tell her, “Don’t answer it,” in a very seductive half-whisper. If she wants to answer it though, I’m not going to stop her.

And I have a few very good reasons why.

Take the Edge Off: Using Humbleness Like an Elite Man

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As you work on yourself and improve and become a higher and higher value person – a man who’s really got his life together, with a solid group of high achieving friends and connections, with multiple options with beautiful women, with goals and dreams and ambitions and numerous pathways to success laid out ahead of you and accomplishments behind you – you become an increasingly imposing individual.

And that’s both good and bad.

I originally was going to write this up as an article on being impressive. But I think impressiveness in its own right doesn’t need a write-up; if you work on your fundamentals and you take care of business in things like body language and posture and voice tone and manner of speaking, you will naturally build yourself into an impressive, imposing individual. Throw in some intrigue into how you choose to define yourself and respond to questions and challenges, and you will rapidly develop into a very naturally impressive, imposing individual. It comes with the territory.

What’s a more difficult prospect, though, is how you make yourself approachable and accessible to people once you’ve gotten there.

Simplify Your Dates

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By: Chase Amante

Just met with a client who is doing pretty well for himself – he slept with a few girls off a coaching session we had late last year, and is a likeable enough guy in his own right with plenty of women interested in him. During this evening’s session, we discussed a couple of different things, and one of the things we discussed was dating.

One of the things we touched on in dating was having “straightforward dates.” I mentioned how my dates these days typically entail a girl meeting me and going to a café or a bar with me, us having a little to eat and drink, then me inviting her home and us proceeding to get intimate together.

My client said I made it sound easy, but he didn’t think it was. I told him I didn’t really want to do the whole shopping / visiting art galleries / doing crazy things, and neither did the girl; we both just wanted to talk a bit, then get together, so why not just do that? Keep things to straightforward dating, basically.

When Women Want You to Say Hi

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A few posts back we discussed how girls show interest. That post, though, was primarily focused on how you can tell a woman’s interested in you once you’re already talking to her. Let’s rewind it backward in the interaction a bit.

I’ve been having a lot of one-shot successes lately, where I only talk to one girl and the girl and I then get together later. The primary reason for this is that my situational awareness has gotten high enough that I’ve gotten rather skilled at being able to pick up on what girl wants to get to know me, then capitalizing on it.

Being Really, Really Good in Bed

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I’m writing this article not as a “how to” on being a good lover, but rather to explain the rationale behind why I think you ought to be one. I may get around to giving specific insight on technique at some point [UPDATE: see the end of this article for links]; like seduction in general, there’s a lot of advice on the topic but the actual good information is spread out quite far and there’s a lot of nonsense out there. But that’s for another time. Anyway, on with our post…

There are two reasons that nearly every woman I get together with falls very quickly and very deeply in love with me. One of them is that I give a woman a mental and emotional experience like no other man does – I make her feel good, and special, and accepted, but also empowered, emboldened, and ambitious, in ways that probably no one else ever has. I am a motivator, an encourager, and I truly, genuinely want a woman who comes into my life to leave feeling like the world is within her grasp and anything she wants she can reach, with enough determination and perseverance. Women know very quickly that I am one of those rare few people in life who will truly believe in them, and be on their side 100% of the way.

The other reason women fall for me so hard is that I give them better sex than anyone ever has, or likely ever will.

Need Help Writing Your 2011 Resolutions? Some Suggestions...

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Probably by now you have your New Year’s resolutions all done up and set to go for 2011, and you’re charged up and (hopefully) already setting to work turning those resolutions into reality.

I’ve always been a little anti-New Year’s resolutions myself, but that mostly because I’m just kind of a humbug, contrarian kind of cat. When I stop and think about it, I often do set a number of goals at the very beginning of the year, which for all intents in purposes are, in fact, resolutions for the new year. So, I grudgingly accept that now I, despite my protestations otherwise, do in fact make New Year’s resolutions. And they do, in fact, help.

So if you’re a little on the lazy side, or a bit of a humbug like me, and you don’t usually do resolutions for the next year, I invite you to do things a little different this year and join me in setting a few goals for yourself in 2011.

What Regular Guys Don't Understand

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Today I found myself reading an article on the Washington Post’s website titled “Date Lab: A Matchmaking Year in Review”. It was all about these blind dates that the newspaper had sent people on throughout the year. I clicked through and read about each of the dates discussed, and paid attention to why the dates that didn’t pan out didn’t. For every single one of them, it came down to the same exact story as what I used to read when things didn’t work out in the monthly Pacific Beach magazine in Pacific Beach, San Diego, where they’d also have a blind date they sent a pair of readers out on each month.

I’ve come to the conclusion, based on my own experiences, that of friends, and of all these blind dates I’ve read about, that dating doesn’t work out the majority of the time because the guy doesn’t measure up. If you read about the blind dates that don’t work out in that Washington Post article, you’ll notice a similar thread through all of them: the guy says When I saw her, I definitely was physically attracted to her, and the girl says When I saw him, I instantly knew he was not my type.

Why is this so consistently the case?

Overcoming Approach Anxiety

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approach anxietyThere’s this thing called approach anxiety, and I haven’t talked about it all that much, because it was never a huge concern for me personally, and it was always something I was able to push through okay on my own. Sure, sometimes I’d stiffen up and miss out on a girl I should’ve had, but all in all it was never too bad for me. I had a lot of fears as a kid, and got into the habit early of overcoming them by confronting them head on; this might be why I was never overly concerned with this one. I just tackled it the same as the rest of them.

But for some guys, approach anxiety is crippling. I’ve coached men who would at times simply refuse to approach women; I eventually got pretty good at getting guys to approach, even when they were terrified to (the first few approaches are always the toughest), but how does a guy who’s shaken about going up to meet women do that on his own, without a coach there to work him through it?

Nonverbal Communication

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nonverbal communicationThe chief tenet of the Law of Least Effort in seduction is that the less effort you put in while still achieving the desired result, the more powerful, attractive, and sexy you appear. One of the most powerful ways of doing this is by learning to communicate without the use of words.

If you’ve ever studied very charismatic people – I have, and I recommend it – something you’ll notice is that they frequently say things with fun, charming, wordless expressions. A smile and a wink, say, or a mischievous look. For instance, maybe someone asks a charismatic man if he can handle a certain situation – he gives them the skeptical look with just a hint of a knowing smile and then gets to it. Or maybe he gives a small smile, makes a thumbs up sign, and goes about his business.

Girls: Silly and Cute

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Don’t forward this post to any feminists.

There’s a lot of animosity among men in the West toward women these days, and a lot of it, I’m quite sure, ties back to the efforts women have made to change their image. Fifty years ago in America, if you watch old television shows, women are quite often depicted as silly and cute; they did and said the darnedest things, and men would look upon them with expressions that said, without words, “Aw.. ain’t she just so silly and cute?”

Nowadays, a woman being depicted that way on television, and a man looking at a woman that way, would be demonized as outdated and humiliating. “Women need to be taken seriously,” we’re told; “that’s the only way they’ll be treated as equals.”

So most men in the West no longer view women as silly and cute. Instead, they view them as scary, intimidating creatures who will bite their heads off should they dare to view women as anything less than ferocious beasts and equals; “men in skirts”, if you will.