Relationship 101

One of the series I introduced on here a while back - only to ever do two real articles in it - was on girl types... some of the different kinds of girls, that is. We've had some requests to do more articles like these, and I wanted to put together one here that's a primer of the four basic varieties of women you'll run into - and which type is best for you.

What's the use of something like this? Won't you magically happen into a relationship with the woman of your dreams, if you're out there long enough meeting large enough quantities of women?

Personally, I'm more a believer in having a set of logical guidelines, and then running your emotions on top of that, rather than just letting emotions run wild and hoping for the best. Having rules for selecting the right girlfriends (see: "Find the Right Girl;" "Choosing the Right Qualities in a Woman") tends to lead you to superior women as mates. Emotion is what first draws you to them, but logic helps you screen them (and screen out the other women you're emotionally drawn to who don't match your criteria).

Put more simply, especially when it comes to weird, ephemeral topics like dating and mate selection that are taboo to discuss anywhere in polite society, knowing stuff gives you advantages.

And the "stuff" I want to get you knowing today consists of the four basic varieties of women.

I've fielded a number of comments and questions from guys over the years on how to start a relationship off right with a new girl they've just started seeing. After all, you've used all the material on this site on how to turn yourself into a smooth, edgy, sexy man; and you've learned everything you need to know about how to get girls, you knew what to look for in a girlfriend, and you've found her, met her, and everything went perfectly. You took her to bed as your lover, and now she's yours.

Now what?

Most people treat dating and relationships as some big, mythical, emotionally-driven process these days, devoid of much logical forethought or planning. It's reached a point in Western thought where "giving in to your emotions" has become the ultimate ideal to be striven for and attained; you should seek to "just feel" and "go with your heart."

But while emotion is a very important piece of your actions and decision making as a human, it's only half the story, and, worse for relationships... it's the short term half of the story.

Emotions will have you shortchange your tomorrow for a better today.

What I'm going to tell you to do in THIS article, however, is to take command of yourself, and build a relationship designed to be strong, successful, and rewarding long after the fires of early emotion quit burning so brightly, or even quit burning at all.

This is, you might say, the anti-guide to falling in love: it's the guide not to getting there, but to staying there, and like all good stories it starts at the beginning.

All right, I know I said no more relationship stuff for a while so we could recover from that big relationship series binge, but I'm sitting here after missing my flight (I should be somewhere over the Pacific right now), going through some of the past month or so's posts, and I see I also said I'd try to get some posts up regarding earlier comments, and... well...

Back in early August, Anonymous commented on the post on how to prevent cheating, saying:

“Could you write about what you mentioned, the whole making a girl feel TOO secure?”

Okay - here's one more on relationships for now. Just think of it as an expansion pack to the relationship series!

Having a girl start feeling too secure with you is a BIG problem in any kind of relationship. Big.

It's the reason why girls start treating guys disrespectfully 9 times out of 10.

And, it's the reason why a girl is bored in her relationship 10 times out of 10.

That's right - not just most of the time on that last. But, EVERY time!

But wait, you say - Walt Disney taught me to make women feel safe and secure! Isn't that what they want?

Actually... no. Everyone takes away the message of, "Protect her and make her feel safe!" from the movies most of the time... and they get it all wrong.

Because there's something else happening in those movies too - another reason why girls swoon for Prince Charming, and it isn't his trust fund.

But everybody misses that part... and everybody ends up with his own bored girl as a result.

Well, here's how to get yourself back in line with what women actually want.

Well, that time has come - time to wrap up our relationship series.

This has been a long collection of articles about the topic of relationships we’ve put out over the last several weeks… and if you asked me to, I could easily write another one just as long. Relationships are simply an incredibly complex topic, with a million little counterintuitive nuances.

Every time you think you’ve got them down… you don’t.

On the one hand, many of the rules we learn for dating go out the window… the game changes completely once you get into a monogamous, committed relationship with a girl.

On the other hand, you still can’t suddenly be a pushover, so a lot of the inner game advice still applies… and where and how to apply everything and in the right context is certainly an art and a science unto itself.

A lot of readers had written in with questions about relationships… and in my experience, this is what a large portion of our students ultimately want to get out of this game… sure, it’s nice to have a lot of choice in beautiful women, and sure, it’s nice to at least have the ability to live a playboy lifestyle for a while.

But when it comes down to it, most guys don’t really want to live life as far out as Chase or myself. The two of us have taken dating to the extreme, which is why we’re now in a position to teach just about anybody about almost any situation – after a decade of obsessing over this skill the way an Agassi would obsess over the game of tennis, there aren’t many situations we haven’t experienced yet. You might not want to be this obsessive… most people don’t.

In yesterday’s post on ways you can lose a girlfriend, we went over the 4 things that can and almost universally WILL lead to the demise of your relationship (when you’re guilty of them): being too weak, fighting too much, bad sex, and taking her for granted.

Those things happen. In fact, they happen so much, it’s my (relatively conservative, I think) estimation that they happen 90% of the time… because something close to 90% (or more) of relationships come to an end sometime before death does them part.

Because of that, breakups end up being an inevitable fact of romantic life. Unless you’re one of the vanishingly few people out there who marries his high school sweetheart without ever kissing another girl and the two of you go onto spend the next 60 or 70 years in blissful union (and if you are, hats off to you! But why are you reading this blog?), you’re going to experience a breakup at some point.

And then it’ll be time to move on.

But like I mentioned in yesterday’s post, nobody WANTS to move on.

Everybody wants to know how to get their ex back. At least, everybody searching for information on the topic, that is.

Yet I promised a post to the readers yesterday on putting the past behind them and gearing up for the future. So let’s say you’re one of those few individuals who HAS reached that point where he’s said, "You know what? It IS time to move on."

Once you’ve decided it’s what you want to do… how do you get over your ex?

So let’s say you do a great job with everything we’ve covered so far in the relationship series. You romance a girl, make her fall in love with you, weed out relationship drama, and build yourself a happy, healthy, rewarding relationship. There’s no way for you to lose a girlfriend now… right?

Well… not quite.

As it were, there are exactly FOUR ways to lose your girl, and quickly.

And you don’t have to do all of them.

You just have to do ONE of them.

Because in the case of relationships, just ONE of these is all it takes to break Humpty Dumpty to pieces and cause you to lose your girlfriend for good.

Below, I list out what exactly of these four ways are… and what the one exception is to this rule of four.

I’ve been seeing more guys than usual engaged in long distance relationships lately. And it’s not an uncommon situation to end up in in our increasingly mobile world - one or both partners leaves to attend school in a different city, or even country; she leaves or you leave to take a job somewhere else in the world.

And often these scenarios are okay - at least at first. But long distance relationships have a tendency to get complicated in a hurry.

Nevertheless, you may find yourself in a situation where you either need to choose to say goodbye, or choose to be in a long distance relationship with that one special girl. Is long distance a good idea?

Today, I want to give you a number of long distance relationship tips, an overview of when a long distance relationship is okay - and when to stay away - and take a look at the dynamics of making this choice.