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Tactics Tuesdays: Negging vs. Complimenting

Chase Amante's picture
negging vs. complimentingBoth compliments and negs are part of a quadrant, but few men use them right. Most use the OTHER (far less effective) side of the quadrant: flattery and insults.

I want to talk about a dichotomy today I've not seen spelled out anywhere:

That is negging vs. complimenting.

Most guys in the community these days have largely abandoned both: they won't neg and they won't (or only poorly) compliment. Yet both tools can be quite powerful... when used correctly.

Much like many things in this space, both have fallen prey to misuse and recategorization as several waves of unskilled seducers have clumsily attempted to adopt these seduction tools, giving both bad names in the process.

This article isn't necessarily a re-taking of these; I have one coming on compliments soon that I think will give you a different perspective from both the neo-direct "simple direct flattery-based compliments" style and the more indirect "don't compliment her much/at all" style.

However, in the meantime, I wanted to make a quick piece detailing the 'quadrant' negs and compliments lie on... and give you a better idea about how and when to use each.

Available vs. Unavailable

Chase Amante's picture
available vs. unavailableHow available can you make yourself with women? When do you become too available… vs. too unavailable? Use the 4 availability questions to balance your availability.

In seduction and in relationships, there are times it's more helpful to be available to a woman, and times it's more helpful to be unavailable.

Most guys err too far toward one side or the other.

You have for instance the typical nice guy, who makes himself as available as possible to women. Because he is so absolutely available, women don't respect his time, or him, for that matter. He ends up in the "he's nice but he's just not my type" category.

Then you have the guy who understands the game a little better but is too absolute in making himself unavailable. He gives women only slivers of availability and shuts off the availability tap on a moment's notice. This guy gets called 'dick', 'asshole', 'jerk'... though he does get the girl more often than the overly available nice guy. However he still misses out on a lot of women too annoyed at him or who have already quickly moved on when he made himself unavailable.

So what you want is not to be too available, nor too unavailable.

You want to be in the Goldiocks zone of availability: just available enough, while still being scarce.

What's that look like though?

How Did Direct Game Pickup Grow So Popular?

Alek Rolstad's picture
direct game pickupIt seems like every guy runs direct game on the girls he meets these days. But how’d direct get to be so popular? It wasn’t always so…

Hey guys.

So today I wanted to share some clarifications on a subject I have discussed in-depth in 2021: namely the whole “direct versus indirect game” subject.

If you have been following my posts over the past year, you should know by now that I am a strong believer in indirect game – namely the type of seduction where you do not reveal your cards (your interest) until she has shown some interest first.

This entails that you must keep her knowledge of your interest in her ambiguous until you manage to build some compliance (or call it “build attraction”). Once you have managed to do exactly that, you will get signs of interest in return, at which point you can reciprocate and show interest back. The amount of interest you show in return depends on how much interest she shows you; you more or less calibrate accordingly at all times.

There are forms of indirect game that are more passive (indirect) than others… yet in strong opposition comes this new trend of neo-direct game, which is all about expressing your interest in her right away. The cat is out of the bag – she knows you want her, and you’ve just got to try to make it happen by convincing her that you are a great potential lover.

Already there we can see how the frame is totally off!

She is now in power… since you are clearly the one chasing her.

She has a higher perceived sexual market value and therefore she gets to dictate the terms. Here she can set very high expectations in terms of her standards. This is how you end up facing highly inflated standards – or rather, that is when you become a guy who gets to deal with those high standards, since men who did not give her all that power will not be facing those high expectations because they never allowed the other party (her) to set them in the first place.

This is exactly what I discussed in my previous post. There I discussed how this neo-direct game, where you constantly show interest from A to Z without ever keeping your level of interest in her ambiguous, without ever showing any mixed signals, and sometimes without ever using compliance-building techniques… or if those were used, they were only used sparingly.

It is easy to conclude from my previous post that indirect game is the solution to the problems that stem from simping and dealing with women’s inflated standards (which we saw only come fully into play when you allow her to express them by setting a frame that gives her the power to do so).

I wouldn’t rush to such a conclusion though. Now, I have in the past been very harsh towards direct game. This is due to two reasons:

  1. The surge of poorly done direct game or this overly direct form of direct game (neo-direct game) leading to cringe interactions between men and women. These cringe results led me to wanting to debunk it fully.

  2. I personally still believe indirect game is better – that is… (and I may be biased here) because it gives you a better meet-to-lay ratio, since you will have a chance to get some girls you wouldn’t get otherwise (that is, compared to using a non-indirect form of game: that is, direct game).

But this does not mean that direct game used the right way is necessarily bad. This may seem contradictory to things I have said about it in the past. But I need to do a mea culpa. Everything I said in those posts still holds true, in the sense that keeping your levels of interest in her ambiguous is the way to go because it gives you:

  • More compliance
  • Smoother interaction
  • A more solid frame – thus more control

All this still stands.

But this does not mean all direct forms of game contradict all these aspects.

This post is meant to give you guys a clarification on this issue.

In this post, I intend to discuss how this trend of neo-direct game came to be, going through the history of the seduction community. I want to tell you why and how direct game came to life and why and how it eventually turned into neo-direct game.

In my next post, I will pay homage to the good old school direct game – the one that truly worked. If you are a fan of direct game, you will love my next post.

How to Build Simple Compliance Ladders

Chase Amante's picture
simple compliance laddersYou can get a girl you like to follow your lead with a simple compliance ladder. Not only will she follow you smoother and more easily, but it often even speeds up the courtship.

Let's talk about a simple technique with tremendous ability to be ramped up: the compliance ladder.

A compliance ladder is a series of actions you cause someone to make that escalates her compliance with you.

The more she complies, the more she invests, and as she becomes more invested in her relationship with you, it becomes increasingly more difficult for her to pull away, less desirable for her to, and easier for her to continue complying with larger and larger asks.

You can use this simple psychological effect (which all humans have) to do all sorts of things with people... including lead women into bed.

Neo-Direct Game, Simping, & Women's High Standards

Alek Rolstad's picture
neo-direct gameGuys who try ‘gaming’ women with this new-style “neo-direct” game aren’t gaming girls. They’re simping IRL. Which explains the harsh rejections neo-direct gamers get.

Note: I will be criticizing super-direct (neo-direct) game in this post. However, I want to emphasize that I am not attacking direct game. I have previously been harsh about direct game, but those posts were mostly a criticism of super-neo direct game that I intend to criticize here. I will clarify further in my next two posts. I have a post on direct game coming out soon and will explain how to run it properly to get maximum efficiency and consistency. Stay tuned.


Hey guys.

Today I want to add my take on women and high standards in the era of social media and simping. I want to link this phenomenon with the surge of neo-direct game.

Direct game has become more popular lately.

However, the new form that has become more popular (which Chase calls “neo-direct game”) mostly teaches men to spam-approach on the street, show interest, and hope for the best.

These techniques have done nothing good for men, aside from giving them the balls to approach girls.

Girls with inflated egos from social media, plus the high amount of simping, only leads them to hunt for more validation. With this new form of direct game, you give her exactly what she wants. But now, you are not of much value to her—that is, unless she is looking for sex. Your odds are low since it is more likely that she would just call an F-buddy to satisfy her needs rather than going along with a stranger from the street.

Never have men obtained such bad results as they have using this approach to pick up. I have read reports on forums (some are from our own forum) of guys doing 100 approaches and only getting two lays. Those numbers don’t shock me, considering the style they apply.

What shocks me is that these results are considered normal. They are not. These men have been misled.

Such a ratio is not normal for someone who has made hundreds of approaches. The number of guys sharing these numbers may seem like outliers, but they are not; it is common. They do have one thing in common: they all used this super-direct approach.

Some guys are stubborn and stick to this bad routine because that’s how some of us are. (I have been guilty of this myself). Others just give up. The latter guys come to our forum or post in our comment section that women have too high standards. Chase wrote an amazing piece on the subject. I am not adding anything to his brilliant post.

It makes sense that many men think that women today have high standards. If you opt for super-direct game (neo-direct game), you will often get rejected. From there, it is easy to assume that you are not enough for her and that women’s standards have gone up drastically.

And in all honesty, in some ways, they have gone up. I will add a different perspective to Chase’s theory that doesn’t really conflict.

This “neo” super-direct game is no different than simping on the internet. Women indeed get plenty of attention from hungry, desperate men online. Just look at the surge of “sexual” services on OnlyFans.com, and all the attention-whoring on Instagram. Even Tinder is now used primarily as a tool to gain new followers on Instagram.

What we see coming out of neo-direct game is brutal. It is simping. Most beautiful women are used to such behavior. Even those who are not completely histrionic on social media will get some level of simping from different dating apps or elsewhere.

All this is because the internet facilitates two factors:

  • Male simping

  • Female attention-whoring

The internet motivates simping because this behavior in real life (especially night game) often results in a harsh rejection.

Why?

In real life, women have to reject to get rid of such men so they don’t annoy them or follow them around. There is also the danger of some men becoming sexual harassers.

Yet harsh rejections are not needed on the web because everyone is behind a screen. The men who follow a beautiful woman online either live far away or have no way of finding out where she lives. If an online fan goes too far, she block him, report him, and have him banned. So she does not need to reject harshly.

Men can stick around online since it does not pose any danger to her, and it can benefit her social status and validation. Instead of harsh rejections, women may give men a “like” to their comment as a pitiful reward, and if they are lucky, they even get an “Oh, you are so nice :D” comment.

However, once back to real life, women reject a stranger’s approach as a safety measure, especially when he is too pushy and forcing her into a corner. Remember that women have a risk-averse nature. (Read my theoretical post on female state control for more information.) A woman will usually choose the safe option, to reject, even if she considered you cute or interesting. She doesn’t know you and wants to play it safe. Smiling back and playing along will signify that she accepts your approach, which could potentially drag her into something she may later regret.

This fact has always been true. The club served as the main ground for attention-seeking behavior in the past,. (This still happens in clubs today, but the web now outcompetes it.) It’s why women have their shields up in clubs. Constantly dealing with frumpy and bitchy women, leading to plenty of harsh rejections, demotivates many men from using simping-like behavior in clubs. This is the reason why indirect game was revolutionary back in the 2000s. It was the opposite of simping behavior. It was a countermeasure to the harsh rejections men would face in clubs.

Tactics Tuesdays: Disarming Women

Chase Amante's picture
disarming womenPeople are becoming pricklier, and women are no exception. To succeed with them, you must at times disarm them first. There are 4 different ways to do that.

Lately I've been dealing with disarming.

The concept sprung to mind most recently as I realized more and more of our readers are men stuck in the 'standards zone' -- a place where they cannot get the women they want because they don't meet those women's standards. Rather than disarm their concerns (because I wasn't really treating them as part of our target audience before), I argued with guys that women's standards are not actually high... which of course just makes guys who are of this mind close up and dig into where they already are.

Now, arguing with people obviously is not an effective way to open up communication lines with them.

Arguing is what you do when you want to bludgeon someone, either to make an example of him, or to win him over by sheer force of argument... which usually won't carry much farther than a single interaction, and tends to burn through good will.

The thing is, people across the board are becoming more argumentative -- and that goes for women.

People are more opinionated right now then I've seen them since I've been alive. I wasn't around during the anti-war protests in the 1970s, so maybe it was worse then, but at least in the years since the 1980s this is the most prickly I've seen it.

Women in particular are being dosed with all this propaganda about a 'battle of the sexes' going on.

Not all women are equally susceptible to this programming. Some are very, some are a little, some aren't really at all.

However, you will encounter women who are.

To succeed with these women (or, as a less ambitious goal, to avoid unpleasant encounters!), you must be able to disarm their prickly defenses.

You must, in other words, be able to take them off their guards.

Advanced Calibration, Pt. 3: Spiking Arousal and Context

Alek Rolstad's picture
spiking arousal and contextJust because it’s the right time during the seduction to arouse her doesn’t mean the context for it is right. You must calibrate to the circumstances you’ll arouse in, too.

Hey guys, and welcome back.

Lately, I’ve been exploring how to calibrate emotional spikes (making her laugh, saying, or doing something that excites her) and sexual spikes (arousal).

The idea is to use spikes to create high notes. Emotional spikes offer a boost of compliance that is quite powerful but not long-lasting. You need to use those spikes to move the interaction forward, whether moving her around or setting a frame that will benefit you throughout the interaction. Remember, emotional stimulation is not long-lasting. Frames are more sustainable. If you do not set a frame, you are stimulating her for no reason since once the emotions fade, you are back at square one.

If we assume that stimulation is a tool to facilitate setting frames and moving her around (logistical escalation), the role of arousal is less clear. When should you focus on arousal in the interaction? Are there times where arousing her is more crucial? And is it necessary to focus on arousal? These are the questions I will answer while helping you see how each aspect fits in the seduction process at different moments, given the context, so you can calibrate better.

We have previously discussed how to calibrate to the girl when it comes to spiking—not all girls can be spiked equally. Not all girls can be aroused publicly (in venues); it is not always the best strategy. Remember that all girls are different, and each may act differently from day to day and may feel differently.

This time, we’ll take a contextual and logistical approach.

Advanced Calibration, Pt. 2: Calibrating Spikes to Her

Alek Rolstad's picture
calibrating spikesWhen you spike a woman’s emotions or arousal, you have to get it right. So let’s talk ways to do that: you can meter the spike, stall it, persist with it, and more.

Hey guys. Last week I discussed calibration—knowing how and when to spike her emotions. If you haven’t checked out that post already, do it.

In that post, we learned about the pitfalls of blindly stimulating her without a particular goal in mind. Emotional stimulation provides a quick boost of compliance. However, it does not last long and quickly fades once it peaks.

If you spike her emotions for the sake of spiking her emotions, you will not gain much. But if you spike her emotions to get a boost in compliance so you can hook her in, move her around, or set a frame, you will not come out empty-handed. You will move the interaction forward and progress.

But what about arousal? Well, arousal is riskier because it can generate compliance while triggering resistance. You may find yourself dealing with anti-slut defense, and she blocks your advances, or female state control when she gets cold after peaking, and the arousal fades. However, arousal is potent. It is an insanely strong form of compliance. But it is not always warranted, nor is it always possible to publicly arouse a girl right away.

How to calibrate and when to arouse is today’s subject. We will discuss how to calibrate emotional stimulation to the girl you are interacting with, focusing on arousal.

Advanced Calibration: When to Spike Emotion & Arousal, Pt. 1

Alek Rolstad's picture
when to spike emotionEmotion spikes and arousal spikes are potent tools you can use to push seductions forward. But when exactly should you use these with women (and when NOT)?

Hey guys. Welcome back.

Today I will go over some advanced calibration techniques. I’ll discuss how to calibrate arousal and emotional spikes properly. It is advanced because it goes beyond basic calibration theory and practice. You will learn how to:

  • Calibrate according to the vibe of the group (or girl)

  • Calibrate according to her response

  • Calibrate according to the setting

  • Calibrate your timings to hit when the iron is hot and when you hit a high note.

These are the fundamentals. You cannot get good at this game if you do not master these—it just won’t happen.

The above rules of calibration are elements of game that you can never become good enough at. Remember, you can always become more calibrated, sometimes to insane levels where you almost always play your cards right with the right girl at the right time.

Need help on this? Then check out my series on calibration.

Consider this post an expansion pack to that series. This post also builds upon previous posts on advanced seduction. Feel free to check out those, although I would prioritize the calibration series.

Let’s identify when you should spike a girl (create an emotional spike) and when you should not do so. Missing this crucial window could, at best, slow down the process and make things harder for you. At worst, it can cost you the interaction.

So, we will dive into the topic by discussing the pitfalls of overstimulating.

Teasing Girls to Their Friends

Chase Amante's picture
teasing a girl to her friendsIf you meet a group where the friends are receptive but the girl you want isn’t, what do you do? Simple: you win over the friends, and tease the standoffish girl.

This is more of a technique for higher intermediate to advanced seducers, though lower intermediates can toy around with it too (though expect to fail a lot).

Beginners should not attempt this... it will just blow up your face as a beginner.

However, for today, let's talk about a flirtation tactic that can be quite powerful yet requires finesse.

The tactic in question is teasing women to their friends.

This tactic is POWERFUL at achieving a few distinct things:

  • Building camaraderie with a woman's friend group, so they like you and won't cockblock you
  • Establishing yourself as a part of a woman's group, so you appear more 'friend-approved' to her
  • Creating a teasy-flirtatious vibe with the woman you like even if she's resistant to you
  • Grabbing some social rank in a woman's friend group where you position her a bit beneath you

The effect of it all is that, when executed right, the girl you want will start to chase you, no matter how closed off she was before.

Note: a lot of the basic theory behind this works exactly the same as the old school PUA neg. We're just doing slightly more fun teases, instead of using backhanded compliments.

However, because of the risks of both teasing someone you're not engaged with, and the social rank grabbing you'll be doing, this one's also a bit tricky.

You see, people don't like strangers opining about them, and they don't like you status jockeying with them, either, especially not in their own groups. Because it's her group, she has home turf advantage, too.

So, annoy her too much, and you may quickly find yourself shut out of the group, regardless how much the others laughed at your ribbing of her.

Thus, this is a tactic that is often very useful -- but with which you must be careful.