Men Style

It’s a question as old as the art of seduction itself: what do women want? Legions of men out there have spent long, lonely nights – following a rejection or disappointing night outing – pondering this question.

So… really, what do women want? Well, luckily for you, one of the things at the top of their list is a quality man. And what do they look for? What defines the men women want? Today I’m going to outline the 7 key qualities that all women (but especially the most high-value ones) look for in a man.

Lately, I have received a lot of interest and requests for an article on what we refer to as “fundamentals”. If you’re relatively good with women now, then the importance of having a solid base to work off of is probably at least somewhat clear to you.

Entering this field, having proper fundamentals should be your first and immediate concern, before you even attempt to learn anything else. Because if you aren’t attractive to women, then you oftentimes won’t even get a chance to practice the tactics and techniques that you’re learning.

And, that’s what I am going to teach you how to do today: become more instantly attractive to the women you meet.

Sound hard? Well, getting your fundamentals set is actually fairly straightforward and uncomplicated. It’s one of the reasons why guys should start off going down this path.

And, better yet, there are really not a lot of hard and fast rules either. There are literally countless ways to up your value via all the different aspects of the basics and fundamentals, so you can pick and choose what sounds easiest to you at the moment, and work on those things first. All of what I am about to tell you is completely doable for any guy who is just starting out.

Even if you’re brand new to all of this, you can still put these ideas and skills to use and start commanding women’s attention and getting the kind of immediate reactions that you want, while limiting the shrug-offs and confused glares that women will give you if you don’t quite have your foundation set just yet.

So there you are, standing completely stunned. You’ve just met a stunner, and you honestly don’t know what to do.

She was gorgeous, and even more astoundingly, she left smiling! You aren’t used to that level of attention from such a hottie... so you start scrambling.

You start worrying about all the mistakes you must avoid when talking to her.

You analyse every future encounter; and, once you have gone through each one with a fine-toothed comb, you’re left still a little unsure - and decide to stay on the safe side.

NO!

Let me teach you that, you cannot play it safe as a gentleman: you have to have MORE guts if you choose this path, and accept that you are MORE likely to lose her than not!

You need to have more outcome independence, because being a gentleman doesn’t mean you will never lose a girl; rather, it means that you are fearless in the face of everything going wrong and remain calm.

A gentleman escalates not because he has a doubt in his mind of if the girl wants him; he escalates because after the time he had to think about it, he is pretty sure.

Let’s rewind though.

If you've paid much attention to the men that women gravitate towards, they're pretty much all assholes.

Yeah, sure... deep down, they may actually be good guys. "An asshole with a heart of gold", for instance.

But, they're still assholes.

If you yourself are not an asshole though, adopting some of the traits of a guy like this so you can be an asshole can seem like something of a mountain to climb... society keeps telling you not to, but women's obvious mate selections over and over again keep telling you differently.

In "How to Spot a Girl Looking for Men", Michal asked about the path to embracing one's inner asshole:

“Hello, Chase.

This kind of question usually never pops up so I am just gonna ask. How do I become more like a jerk or an asshole? I am too friendly basically, because parents and such always told me to be kind and polite and nice. Ugh! :-s

I dont want to seem as an ass at the end but... I have been trying to be more playful lately, trying some wit and I experiment with my female friends and they seem to enjoy it OR dont get it. And when I meet new girls I am this little kind person again because I dont want to seem awkward.

So how can I stop being viewed as this "kind and good hearted man" who "has no evil in his soul" as I once heard and have better personality that women respond to as if I was a man. Not friendly boy?

My fundamentals are bad and I am working on it but this is my biggest flaw right now. I am ok to have female friends, but I dont want every girl I meet to feel like I am her long lost friend from childhood.

Any possible advice? I guess move faster and dont miss "the windows"?

Thanks in advance.”

Let's talk about jerks and assholes, then - and what it takes to be one.

One of the pieces I promised sometime back was a write-up on identities, and the role these play in your social interactions, seductions, dating, and relationships.

Identity is a huge, important topic with vast implications for how you move through society, but it isn't one that's much talked about because it's difficult to conceptualize, and more difficult still to nail down.

Nevertheless, having a grasp of what your identity is today, and what you'd like it to be tomorrow, helps shine a little more light on the direction you're headed in socially, and being aware of the different gradations of identity allows you to accurately pinpoint where you might be going right with a given identity, and where you may be going wrong.

So, join me on this journey through the looking glass, and let's examine the sometimes-strange and always interesting topic of your social identity.

Being charming is a trait most of us are taught to aspire to from a young age. From fiction novels to Disney movies, the ladies always seem to swoon for that man who can charm his way right into their hearts.

But how do you get to be a charming man? And how important is charm in your process of seduction?

Today I’m going to give you a comprehensive look into charm. And it probably won’t be exactly what you expect. Charm is a double-edged sword that can be a great boon in certain situations, but a harmful bane in others.

I’m going to help you figure out when it’s most useful, and how to effectively wield your charms for seductions and relationships.

When I first discovered dating advice for men on the Internet in the mid-2000s, I was ecstatic; here were exactly the tools I was looking for to take what I was trying to do and put it on rocket fuel.

With these tools, I knew, I could shave years off my learning curve and advance at a far faster rate than I could having to figure every single thing out by myself, on my own.

It didn't take long though before I realized that many of the guys posting on seduction forums and meeting up in pickup lairs were "quirky"; there were things about them that were off, and the kinds of women they were going for were... not the kinds of women I was all that interested in.

I maintained friendships with the cooler and more "normal" guys I met through PUA - and indeed, many of these guys are still good friends of mine today, and are some of the sharpest and most improvement-oriented people I know (many are also quite successful in their businesses and careers nowadays) - but aside from them, I largely retreated to friendships with "naturals" - guys who were naturally good with women, and hadn't studied pickup and had only the most cursory knowledge of what it taught.

What I noticed was that there were some very distinct differences between the guys who were naturally good with women and the guys who were not - and while some of this went away as guys improved, some of it didn't; these differences remained.

And those differences very often meant the difference between being cool and getting the more attractive, harder-to-get girls, and not being and getting those.