Men Style

Learning how to present yourself to look attractive, sexy, and desirable to women is a two-step process: first, you learn what you should do, with some basic and advanced strategies that help you get the most out of what you were naturally born with; second – and just as importantly – you learn what NOT to do; the common mistakes that are holding you back along with so many other men.

So far on Girls Chase we have a lot of great stuff that help with the first part of this equation:

• How To Get Started Improving Your Looks

• The Grooming Guide: Skin care, Manscaping, Choosing And Styling Your Hairstyle and Facial Hair

• Getting Six Pack Abs

• The Primer On Men’s Style

• Several off-the-shelf looks to get you going

And more…

With this article, I’d like to talk about the second part: the mistakes that even the best of us sometime make when it comes to presenting ourselves and looking attractive; the ones that are holding us back on our quests to become truly sexy men.

But before we delve deeper, let’s make a quick stop and talk about…

There are many articles on the internet about how to get a haircut that suits you. Well that’s great for people with hair, but I know from personal experience that there are a lot of balding men out there and there are almost no articles out there on how to look good bald... and pull off the sexy and bald look.

I decided to write this because I know how it feels to start losing your hair. Earlier this year I started shaving my head completely bald and I’m pulling more girls bald than I ever did with hair. This guide will enumerate the three must do’s to capitalize on your lack of hair situation and turn it into a strength.

But first we have to talk about a decision you need to make.

It’s that time of the year again – the sun is starting to shine brighter, the weather is getting comfortably warm, and the skirts on our beautiful ladies are getting shorter to the point where it’s very easy to lose your focu... wait, what was I saying...

But maybe that’s not what pops into your mind when I say that summer is here. Maybe instead you imagine scorching sun, sweating as if you were in a sauna, and uncomfortable, sticky clothes.

As discussed in “Summer Fashion For Men: Your A to Z Guide to Looking Sexy in Summertime”, summer brings a quite distinct set of perks and challenges when it comes to dressing sexy and presenting ourselves in the most attractive light.

From one side, we can finally show off our physiques that we’ve been working on during the winter-time, and thin fabrics are really great at putting sex into her mind just by looking at you; on the other hand, most summer-friendly clothes are quite hideous and make us look boyish instead of sexy. I’m looking at you, shorts.

For this reason I originally prepared the A to Z Guide to Looking Sexy in Summer-time, to help you make the most of the benefits that come with this time of year and to work around the drawbacks as much as possible.

With this article I’d like to dig into the specifics and offer you concrete outfits you can use during summer and look very sexy, something we did with “6 Outfits That Will Help You Look Sexy” (if where you live the weather is far from getting warm, this is the article to check).

A girl once said the following about me to a mutual friend:

“You know, the best things about Darius are his deep cuts and his charisma.”

I must say, I was a little surprised. Not about the deep cuts part – since college I was known to wear buttoned shirts with an extra open button and I’ve always preferred V-necks over crew necks on tees.

Quick off topic tip: It works and it’s hot. If you’re of shorter stature be careful though, as it might mess up your upper body proportions and visually make you look shorter.

The part that I was surprised about was that she called me charismatic. You see, I’ve never been the talkative, outgoing, life of a party kind of guy, and back when it was said it was even more obvious than it is now.

Nonetheless, in her eyes I was charismatic.

What’s interesting is that after that conversation I did indeed start working, at first indirectly, on further developing this quality – though “quality” might not be the best word to describe charisma. As you’ll see in this article, it would be more appropriate to call it a skill than a quality of your character.

As I got better at managing charisma, interesting things started to happen:

• I would relatively easily find new groups and friends during my nights out (it’s not uncommon by the end of the night to realize that the group I’m currently having fun with, who are inviting me to after parties and the like, consist only of people I don’t really know)

• Guys often will buy me shots and ask to drink with them (happens less frequently with women, but that’s expected)

• And people in general seem eager to open up and share their stories.

For example, last time I was out, after ordering my drink, an unknown guy walked up and asked me to join his company of four ladies on the dance floor.

I’m sure I don’t need to explain that, not only does this makes nights out more pleasurable in general and puts you in a very positive state of mind, it also makes the subsequent steps of seduction easier (but don’t be fooled, you still need to make things happen).

With this introduction I first would like to refer you to another article, written by Ricardus, The 3 Things to Know If You Want to Be Charismatic, in which he brilliantly covers the core parts of what makes a man charismatic and how to be one.

I would like to urge you to read that piece first and then come back here, as in my article I would like to focus more on the specifics and strategies you can employ to develop your charisma and do this, even if you’re not a particularly outgoing guy.

Note from Chase: this is a guest post from Ben Harrison of Eat, Sleep, Grow, Repeat. Ben's article is on how to optimize your testosterone levels and shoot your results with women through the roof. Here's Ben...

Your outer-game is incredible? Your fashion sense is dialed in and your openers are eloquent creations of mastery? Everywhere you walk you leave a wake of construction; the construction of a social lifestyle that attracts a consistent stream of attractive women into your life.

How about your inner-reality, or what you may be familiar with as inner-game? You're internal reality is perhaps a veritable landscape of quality and vision seen only here before via the works of Lorenzo Gian Bernini, or perhaps you see it as more of a fantastical baroque mosaic creation à la Genoese Giovanni Battista Gaulli. You consider your inner game to be on point.

On the other hand, perhaps you are newly immersing yourself into a social lifestyle. The technicalities and models of inner and outer game are perchance yet ambiguous terrain for you.

Whichever camp you reside in, there is something even more innate and internal which will optimize every aspect of your game; a mechanism within our very cells which may greatly enhance confidence, banish approach anxiety, and also fear of ambiguous escalation windows; a chemical balance of body and mind that provides the burning desire to persist and succeed in ones outcomes when dealing with the gauntlet of challenges that social interactions provide. Above all else, it should be recognized that it is possible to greatly proliferate your motivation to take action and your intrinsic desire to succeed in all areas of life.

A sexy photo is without a doubt the Holy Grail of online dating, and I’m not even close to overstating it. Regardless how sophisticated your online dating profile or how cool your byline in Tinder is, regardless how intriguing and innovative your opening message or how smooth your text game is, if you don’t have at least decent photos, you’ll be fighting with one hand tied behind your back.

On the other hand, if you do have great photos (a single great one can be enough), you can piggy-back on it and get results despite major flaws in your profile, text game, etc.

For example, when experimenting with OkCupid a couple of years ago, at one time I had a profile that said:

On A Typical Friday Night: “Cover myself in paint, confetti, and perform ancient shaman rituals while “Highway to Hell” is blasting in the background.”

Followed by a “Do NOT under any circumstances message me…”

And I would still get unsolicited messages from women. Admittedly, those weren’t the most beautiful women in the world (usually not too shabby either though), but nonetheless, it does say a lot about how powerful great photos are.

Oh, and the first time I’ve experimented with Tinder I was pretty sure that the app was broken or something, because after a ~10 – 15 minute blitz that I did while waiting for my buddy to pick me up from the train station, I had the phone buzzing the whole day from being matched with someone (and several messages too).

I’m sure at this point you’re really keen to see the photo that’s been so freakishly effective and here it is:

As you can see, statistically this photo should be a flop:

• Looking straight into the camera (in reality I was looking just above the lens).

• Smiling.

• No pets / cool activities / cropped-out women.

• Even clothes are not that impressive (other than noticeably good fit that emphasizes shoulders and color contrast to match with my natural features).

Despite that, it worked like magic. Which is to say two things:

1. A solid photographer & looking photogenic is enough to get great results from online dating.

2. My results were quite a ways from being optimal. Imagine if I knew any better then and stacked the odds further by using other strategies…

Finally, we made it.

After addressing:

• How to become arrogant and eradicate fear

• The myth of the heartless player and the risks of arrogance

• How to cultivate humility, sheathe your arrogance, and develop true power

• How to love people, learn from them, and take responsibility for other’s feelings

• How to identify venomous beliefs about women

• How to eradicate those venomous beliefs and truly love women

• How to become introspective

I will now address the question that’s probably been irkin’ you for a while now.