Men Style

Setting up your bedroom to facilitate great sexual experiences isn't the most important thing you can work on for your ability to seduce women... but it's one of those little things that can make all the other things involved in taking a woman from stranger to lover a whole lot easier.

If your go-to sex logistics spot is a bachelor pad with a single, uncomfortable bed under stark lighting and subject to distracting noises, you're not really giving yourself the best chance to excel at said pursuit.

Alternatively, if you set things up right, you can have hours-long foreplay tangled in pillows, blankets, each other, nakedness, soft light and seductive music. That's what I call "the bubble" - note that this is different from the bubble you can have in conversation... which is where you and a girl are in such rapt communication together that it feels like it's just you and her together inside this bubble, and the whole outside world does not matter - similar feeling here, except it's in your place.

With this article I'll be showing you how to create a bubble experience in your bedroom... and explain too just why you'll want to.

Much of men’s dating advice tells you to be confident, but after a certain point a man with little to fear might just ask the question, “Can being shy be turned to one’s advantage?”

As it turns out, shy combined with moments of confidence can create an incredibly alluring contrast, and yes, be incredibly attractive. In fact, the right use of “shyness” can show off a deeper internal confidence than just being extroverted and outgoing all the time can.

Being shy-natured can be a powerful way to separate yourself from the noise of the crowd and heighten the experience of sharing a moment with you.

Note from Chase: this is a guest post on creating and implementing a habit, by Robert King, director and instructor at PUA London.

Habits are the brain's own productivity mechanism. The brain converts conscious actions, consistently repeated, into unconscious habits. The brain turns conscious actions into unconscious habits to free up future resources and will power for other tasks and actions.

The only downside to this process is that it can be extremely difficult to break bad habits or to create new ones. Once positive habits have been ingrained into the unconscious they are EXTREMELY beneficial, though.

To create a new habit, we first engage in a new activity, and the brain works very hard to process all the new information. The brain looks for patterns and tries to understand the new action. As soon as it understands how the task works, this behaviour starts becoming automatic, and the mental activity required to do the task decreases.

Think about how much brain power you used when first learning how to drive. Compare that now to when you drive; probably the vast majority of your driving is done on autopilot.

Let's talk about creating habits, which are crucial to getting success, especially in all things self-development.

Cruzer, a Girls Chase reader, comment on the article on entitlement asking:

“Great article, but I want to ask you something that varies from the topic.

How does one have presence?

There are some people who walk in a room and are able to instantly command attention, even though they may not be the best look person in the room......so how do I do that?”

Cruzer (and our other reader “John W.”) bring up a very important aspect of charisma and dominance: presence.

You know that feeling. That moment when a man walks into a room and everyone seems to stop for a minute and take notice. The women wonder who he is and why he has such a commanding energy. The men wonder whether he’s chill or an asshole and why this man seems to be so sure of himself.

Presence is that special character trait that very few men possess. And it is, in my opinion, one of the most difficult characteristics to develop. As I alluded to in my brief response to Cruzer, it is a combination of advanced mindsets and basic fundamentals. And something else as well.

Today I want to talk about presence; about how to develop that powerful and magnetic force that compels people toward you and forces them to take notice. Let’s go…

A reader with ruffled feathers writes in response to the article "Tell If a Girl Likes You: Are Her Walls Up Or Down?", saying:

“What a bunch of rubbish!

In all of your articles, you always encourage men to act weak. For example, phrases like this: "one part of being good with women is about not flipping the triggers that activate women's walls." What?? So, you think men should avoid trigging women's "walls"? This is utter rubbish!! A strong individual won't give a shit about a woman's walls! Only a weak, very passive and supplicated individual constantly afraid of offending women will look for walls and avoid them at all costs! Your position is inherently weak.

Only weak men are always cognisant of women's walls because they are afraid that her walls will go up and this comes from weakness, his weakness -- he is scared and doesn't have confidence. Women instinctively sense weakness without any training or experience necessary and you don't need me to tell you that women are not attracted to weaknesses. Nervous men (those afraid of triggering walls, the kind of man you encourage in this and other articles) are best left to nervous, fumbling women who have issues, not well-adjusted, confident and attractive women. All this boils down to confidence: if you are not truly confident of yourself, 100%, then you will always achieve less than you could have and this applies of course to more in life than just attracting the opposite sex.

A confident man is attractive and sexy. He knows exactly what he wants. He doesn't worry about girls' walls...or himself, nor does he care when women exhibit walls, he will always get exactly the kind of girl he wants. Looking in from the outside, this achievement will seem effortless and natural.

Girls put their walls up because of themselves, never because of you; if you think you act in a way that repulses them then you are (thinking in a way that is) repulsive to yourself. Get some confidence.”

I have a strong feeling this reader is one of those individuals who runs around the Internet screaming about the need for men to "be alpha" while simultaneously spending the majority of his time alone or with unusually large women, cursing womankind in general for not recognizing his glorious, manly, alpha attractiveness.

But I digress.

I share this comment with you because it poses an interesting question: is it possible to be SO attractive that you can run through life like a bull in a china shop and still land loads of hot women in your bed regardless - or perhaps even BECAUSE of it?

We often mention on this site that “just be yourself” is bad advice; that if you really want to see yourself truly improve with women (and in general) you should continually upgrade you: your fundamentals, process, and work past any possible sticking points that you may run into.

However, I’ve noticed that a lot of guys try to reach an idealized version of a man: a man who’s smooth, confident, successful, fit… and, well… perfect, in every way.

Not just good, mind you. But perfect.

Today I want to talk about why trying to be the "perfect man" can actually hurt you… and what you can do to maximize your results with women, while steering clear of the danger of striving for a little too much perfection.

There it is: the Big Decision.

On the one hand, you've got Road #1. And it is a tempting choice. It seems like a great path to go down... maybe everything you want.

Except you're not 100% sure it'll work out.

And if it doesn't, you'll have lost all that time going down it.

Then, on the other hand, you've got Road #2. It's the safer path by far... but maybe - could it be - too safe?

If you pick Road #2, you'll probably be okay, but you might miss out on the amazingly potential upside of Road #1.

Alternately, pick Road #1 and you risk having it not lead anywhere, and then you won't end up enjoying the benefits of Road #1 OR Road #2.

So, you hem and haw, delay and stall, sending your mind into overdrive trying to figure out which choice is the right choice to make.

Only, your mind can't figure this out. There's no new information coming in.

Nothing else to tip the scales in your head to help you to decide, or force you to.

In the end, you sit there, no closer to a decision than you were when first presented with those two choices, despite endless wheel spinning, mental gears clogged with mud and grass, unable to spin any further, you unable to decide.

This article is designed to help you never have to worry about this ugly (and far too common) scenario again; it the complete manual on how to be decisive, and it's how I took myself from someone who kept ending up in these scenarios to someone who never does anymore.