Men Style

It is taken for granted, as well it should be, that women respect strong men and detest weak ones. There is no way around it, and no amount of pretty, eloquent fluffiness will detract from the impact it already has on your life.

You see it everywhere: women throwing themselves at men with spines while trampling on those without and laughing in their faces.

Today’s article is not a discussion of strength in the physical sense – you can find articles on how to get in great shape elsewhere on this website. Instead, this is about a topic that I don’t often see discussed: being a man of conviction.

Some good Hollywood examples of men with conviction are James Bond and Han Solo; classic archetypal males who get the job done and get laid doing it.

Few concepts are more viral in contemporary culture than the notion of the “alpha male”.

Many men want to become “alpha males”, but there is surprisingly little agreement on what characterizes this social role.

Even more, it can actually be argued that many guys should NOT try to be alpha males in the biological sense if their goal is to be a man who attracts women.

Does that mean that you should be a weak, submissive man?

Not at all.

There is a kind of strong man who is not the alpha male in its original sense but who may actually be a better archetype for many students of seduction.

What should your first impression be like in order to get a girl to be excited enough to text you back?

We tend to think we need to be the most attractive guy to a girl the first time we meet and create an undeniable connection in order to get her to be excited enough to respond back, but in reality, these things can actually scare girls off and rarely cause things to pan out like you would expect them to.

Over the years I’ve come to learn that you shouldn’t focus too much on first impressions or try to achieve too much too early, because it isn’t the most powerful way to stand out.

At the end of the day, women are over saturated with different messages from different guys, and all of their feelings of attraction tend to blur together into one big conglomeration, until they can no longer tell you apart from that other guys. Girls just have way too many options, and your being attractive almost always gets lost amidst all of that.

So if you want to stand out, don’t try to be the most attractive guy of the bunch; just find a way to intrigue her and be memorable.

If you can do those two things well, you can then focus on what you will do the next time you see her rather than stress out about being Superman. This is how you best handle a first impression: by not overdoing it!

Let’s face it: girls have major ADD when it comes to stimulating interactions with guys, and while this seems at first to work against our interests, you’ll find that the best path forwards is acceptance and then to politely sidestep the mosh-pit and set up your interactions so they are as crisp as they can get. Play along with this aspect of their psyche and try not to get too upset by it, just play along for now, and work to develop a simple strategy.

I slept with a girl recently whose hands I pinned above her head during the act with one of mine. As I did this, she got visibly more excited, and said, “It kind of feels like you’re raping me.”

To which I whispered, with a sly grin, “And you like that, don’t you? That’s because you’re a dirty girl.” She crossed over into a peak of sexual excitement at this, and climaxed shortly after.

I was thinking about this, and about how much girls like being dirty girls (or at least thought of as dirty girls), and then thinking about the fact that women often consider me a dirty man. I won’t go into specifics because I don’t want to freak out readers who are still coming out of their sexual shells, but there’s not much you can do with girls that I won’t get a kick out of. And they always love all it themselves, of course.

Even before we make it to the bedroom I’m dirty though; I say dirty things to women I haven’t slept with yet, and to women I’ve just met. I touch them in inappropriate ways in inappropriate places. I laugh off some hygiene “rules”, and act a little impulsively and don’t know anything about popular culture fixtures they plan their lives around. I don’t remotely fit into their little neat life plans, and they can’t get enough of it.

And it strikes me that one of the subconscious dividing mentalities between men who do well with women and men who do not is this enjoyment at rolling around in the dirt... being at home in it. Because most men want to be clean, organized, and on-point, not loose and dirty. Dirt – and loss of control – frightens and reviles them. Dirty stuff SHOCKS and appalls them.

Yet this is a bigger signal to women about where a man ranks in the sexual hierarchy than you might think... and being uptight about cleanliness and orderliness and maintaining social politeness rules is just one of those things the kinds of guys girls long for aren’t. Mr. Über Sexy of 50 Shades of Grey-ville and Mr. Neat-&-Clean of Tidyville are two very different people, and you get one guess as to which one women want.

You know the feeling – the one where you see a group of people laughing about a movie you love or getting excited about an overseas location that you know like the back of your hand.

But there you are, standing on the outskirts of the group. Maybe you have a drink in your hand. Maybe you have your hands in your pockets. Maybe you have you arms crossed. Whatever the case may be, you feel intimidated, uneasy, and possibly even scared about the situation at hand.

You want to be a part of the fun. You know you have something to offer. But the prospect of approaching new people – or worse, approaching that beautiful girl across the room – is much too daunting for your brain to grasp. So you sit there. Doing nothing. Feeling awkward. And then you go home, not making a splash – not even making a ripple.

And you wonder to yourself: “Will things always be like this? Will I ever overcome my shyness and actually connect with people?”

Well, if you’ve been wondering about how to not be shy, wonder no more. I’ve put together a complete primer on how to overcome shyness.

As I walk around the streets of my city, I’m usually struck by three things. The first is the beauty of nature. I think it’s important to stop and appreciate the beautiful things that surround us all and to really remember that life, and the world, is more than just about our singular and, honestly, not very special existence. In a way, you have to stop and smell the roses.

The second thing I’m struck by is sexy women. Women who are dressed well, know how to flaunt their bodies, and are dripping with sexuality are most certainly drawing the attention of all of the men around them – yours truly included (though I am probably more subtle about it).

The third thing, believe it or not, is actually sexy men. I can really appreciate a stylish, confident man. When I see one, I often think to myself “He must get a lot of women, get a lot of attention from women, or at least should. And if he doesn’t, he should be reading Girls Chase.” But for the purposes of this post, I want to focus on the latter two things that strike me.

Which leads to the question: What actually is sexy? What makes a sexy man or a sexy woman? And more importantly, how do you become the one that applies to you? And it is very important that the world be filled with more sexy men and women. So making this transformation is what this post will be dedicated to.

Note from Chase: this is the full style consultation from Darius of SexyStyleForJoe.com for our winner of the “Styled for Summer” contest we ran from late June to early July. Darius has gone provided a full head-to-toe fashion breakdown for our winner here, in a post overflowing with juicy fashion tips.

If you’re interested in a fashion consult with Darius yourself, I’ve included a link in the footer of the post you can find out more information about this via. And if you enjoy Darius’s work, also be sure to see his Girls Chase article on summer fashion. Here’s Darius.

Hey guys,

It’s been a few weeks since the #StyledForSummer contest ended and before everything else I’d like to thank those who entered on Twitter! It was fascinating and quite challenging to share insights on how to help improve your personal style in 140 characters for, as you’ll notice soon, I usually get quite “wordy” on the subject. But hopefully those quick tips didn’t go to waste.

This is a follow-up article to the contest, and I’m very happy to say that the winner of #StyledForSummer decided to share his prize and gave permission to publish his consultation as an article here on Girls Chase.

Even though it’s not exactly the same as getting a personal, in-depth analysis of your looks and how to improve them, I’m sure that every reader who’s looking to improve his style will benefit from reading on (hint: guys of shorter stature, pay attention, there will be some gems for you here!).

Before we begin, I’d like to explain what happens before the actual consultation so that everything makes more sense. A consultation starts with a short questionnaire to determine a person’s style preferences, stronger points, weaknesses (we all have parts of our bodies we are proud of and aspects we’d rather not draw attention to), budget, and target audience.

This is one of the reasons why you’ll see certain suggestions and recommendations, and why in this consultation, ironically, we focused more on autumn to spring looks than styles for summer.

Lastly, you’ll notice that pictures are heavily cropped and kept in lower resolution. I am very grateful to the winner for agreeing to share his consultation, and I think it just makes sense to remove any identifying aspects that are not absolutely essential for readers to fully comprehend and learn from this article. By the way, if you find this article helpful, please say a big thank you to the winner!

And now, let’s look at the consultation.