Sex Talk Gambit: Independent Woman

Hi guys, welcome back. Today, it is time for a sex-talk gambit.

Gambit posts are examples of themes I use that have been extensively and successfully field-tested. This post provides examples of how to deliver a sex-talk gambit, the independent woman gambit, followed by an analysis of why it works.

I’ll describe the gambit and then present an example. Feel free to word it to suit you. I will likely not word the gambit the same way presented here the next time I go out. In field, I remember the theme and key moments and will freestyle, keeping in mind the different mechanisms happening in my setting. By doing so, I can calibrate as factors come into play or, even better, find ways to accentuate them.

To be clear, even though I do not repeat the gambit exactly as presented here, chances are that I am likely to deliver something along the lines of what I describe below. Your version may differ slightly.

Aside from wording the gambit to your style, you can take this (and any other gambit) as inspiration to create a gambit covering similar themes. You could even use different themes using the same mechanisms or try different mechanisms using this theme. So, field test and see what works.

The idea is that this gambit:

• Sets a sexual frame

• Gets her invested (creates a hook)

• Conveys that you are skilled in bed or that you are knowledgeable about women and sexuality

• Communicates that you are a safe lover and have a good understanding of sex’s implications for women (slut-shaming, pregnancy risks, etc.)

• May arouse her (if you choose to be more explicit)

If you score favorably on a few factors, this may be a good gambit. Only extensive field testing will give a clear answer about whether it works. If it works but not as well as you’d hope, see if there are ways you can tweak it.

 

About This Gambit

Some of you may dislike the feminist tone of this gambit. I do not mind independent women, nor women with strong characters as long as they are good characters. I also do not mind most aspects of feminism; I generally support equality. I wouldn’t say I like the angry version of feminism (radical feminism) or feminism that seeks to guilt-trip half the human population without necessarily looking for solutions to real-world problems. Also, the “strong independent woman” view often portrayed in today’s media outlets is a bit obnoxious since they usually do it poorly.

What I do like about today’s feminism (besides the sex-negative feminists who believe sex to be bad) is that feminism promotes sexual openness. Conservative critics might say it promotes a harmful form of promiscuity. I disagree with that. I believe the harmful aspect is not sexual openness but the context and pretext in which it is expressed (OnlyFans, simping, e-girls); nothing healthy about that!

You may have your political views and disagree with me; that is fine.

What is a fact is that we can use this socially accepted frame of the “independent woman” to set our desired frames. We do this in steps by:

• #1 Introducing the subject

• #2 Expressing how you like independent women

• #3 Convey your definition of an independent woman

• #4 Ensure your definition appeals to the girl so that she qualifies and “lives up to it”

Let’s start with a transition; it will help your gambit seem smooth and natural.

 

Transitions

This is one of THE EASIEST gambits to transition into.

Why?

• Strong, independent women are a part of today’s ethos, so discussing this is socially acceptable.

• Many women like this idea (especially younger women), so they will be highly receptive.

• Shutting down or reacting negatively to this topic is usually seen as socially inappropriate; it goes against the current worldview. As a man, you do not want girls to view you as a misogynist who has a problem with strong and independent women. And if you are a woman, you do not want to be seen as a collaborator with the patriarchy.

Sexual mechanisms are automatically present that work in your favor. So, this gambit is simple to transition into, with a low chance of facing resistance.

It is okay for a girl to discuss such subjects. And it’s a subject many people are passionate about, making it great for early hooking—it is pure bait.

The independent woman gambit is ideal in the early game as a hook gambit because as you are hooking the girl/set, it also allows you to set an early sexual frame, which lets you easily transition into juicier gambits.

Let us look at potential transitions, starting with the easiest one:

Alek: You know, I love strong, independent women. I find them so sexy. Are you strong and independent? (This is a good qualifier!)

Her: Yes/No/What do you mean?/It depends.

Alternative:

Alek: You girls seem like independent women. Are you?

Them: Yes/No/What do you mean?/It depends.

Or a bait:

Alek: Girls, I have a question.

One girl: What is it?

Alek: Why do so many men fear independent women?

Girls: …

The last one is good because it MAKES THEM invest, a guaranteed hook.

Try a statement of interest (See Showing Interest in Girls via Statements of Interest (SOIs)).

Alek: Do you know what I like about you?

Her: No, what?

Alek: You seem like a strong and independent woman, and I like that.

The above is an assumption, good for hooks. You get the idea.

Aside from being easy transitions, these are also good individual hook gambits (one-liners) that you can use on their own without transitioning into the sex-talk gambit I am about to share.

 

Examples

As you will see, this gambit is relatively easy to pull off. I tend to start light with non-sexual subjects and gradually become sexual. It is like boiling a frog alive by slowly raising the temperature. It won’t notice that it is boiling until it is too late. It’s the same mechanism here.

Here’s what I mean:

Alek: I do not fear independent women; I like them. Who doesn’t like someone who is confident, true to oneself, and has character? Wouldn’t you like a man just like that?

Her: Indeed!

Alek: And wouldn’t it make sense that, as a man, I would also like someone like that?

I am preaching to the choir. I know she will agree, yet I try to seem convincing. I am not trying to convince her. I am building rapport.

Alek: I mean, character gives the girl a persona; she knows what she wants and who she is and is confident about it. It is so refreshing.

Her: …

Alek: And it gives her a strong character—a strong persona, which is intriguing.

Okay, I’m just slowly boiling the frog. Let’s get juicy.

Alek: More importantly, she knows what her desires are, is open about them, and is willing to break the rules to get what she wants because screw the rules; she creates her own rules!

Her: Yeah! You go, girl!

Okay, now I’m priming her into “rule-breaking,” which is always good.

Alek: And she knows she is a woman; she knows her cravings but is not afraid of them! She is proud of them, and any man or woman who judges her, trying to push her back…well, screw them!

Her: Yeah, screw them!

The frog is boiling now.

Alek: Honestly, whether I want a girlfriend or just a bang, which one would be the most interesting and fun for me?

Her: The strong, independent girl, I suppose?

Alek: Yeah, she will be open-minded. As long as it appeals to her, she will go for it and will deliver the goods with confidence. She is a woman; she is sexual (good transition into the sexual subjectification gambit), not an object, and she wants to express that to her lucky lovers!

Her: Yeah!

Alek: But sadly, most are not quite there yet.

Her: Are you sure?

Alek: I don’t know; we will see. By the way, what are you drinking? (fractionate out).

Note the following:

• I ended with an open qualifier. If she likes me, she will qualify by conveying the same attractive traits (sexual openness, confidence, and norm-breaking). Will she chase and qualify? Maybe, maybe not. But it is likely because you’ve created rapport. And if she doesn’t chase right away, she may eventually.

• What if she doesn’t qualify? You still build rapport and set a sexual frame. The conversation is not about sex, and it will be much easier from there to swap into other subjects.

• I left an open loop and switched to a different subject. This creates tension, which is stimulating but also leaves her in a situation where she wants to know more. You make her invest in the interaction, which is always good.

Now, all this is optional.

 

Mechanisms at Play

There are not many mechanisms going on as this gambit introduces the subject of sex in a safe and rejection-proof way.

Nevertheless, you create an opening for setting whatever frame you like because you can frame the definition of “independent women” according to your needs. So, frame the aspects that are beneficial to seduction (norm-breaking, sexually confident, sexually open), which all provide benefits. For example:

• Linking strong, independent women to sexual openness primes her to be sexually open because most girls today want to identify with the strong, independent woman image.

• Ditto with norm-breaking. Most sexual norms today remain somewhat sexually restrictive. It’s true in some areas, less so than others, but it’s still deeply ingrained in society and women’s psyches. Framing the strong, independent woman as one who does not care about those may prime her to gain courage and not care, at least unconsciously.

• It also primes her to be more sexually confident with you. This may ease further escalation.

These are all great things you’d want her to express and qualify! Feel free to add more traits to your list and translate them into this gambit.

 

Potential Pitfall

Yes, there is one. Some women may have a strong opinion on what a strong, independent woman is, often ingrained in feminist theory. I do not mind the latter as I have read many prolific feminist works, so I can easily find my way out.

But avoid getting into a heated debate. Especially if you are dealing with a radical feminist who only seeks to be correct, and you sense an argument coming on. It’s not smart. Do not try to push your views down her throat. Often, these women are problems down the line anyway, so it’s an excellent screening tool.

If you sense she is one of those girls, you should not run this gambit.

Most of the time, you won’t face this issue. (For example, do not run this one on the humanities faculty unless you know what you are doing.) If you sense it’s turning into a heated political debate (arguing about politics always kills a seduction), try to change the subject. Finish the subject with some pacing and leading (“I agree but” or “You have a point, although”) and move on as soon as you can or leave the set. It’s as simple as that.

I wanted to warn you about this potential pitfall. I have not faced it often, but this may be because I am good at screening out women who may respond negatively to the gambit. Keep this in the back of your mind.

 

Conclusion

The independent woman gambit is easy and generally safe to use (unless she is well-versed in the subject or holds strong opinions on feminism that cannot match yours). Usually, you can introduce this gambit quickly, and it guarantees a great hook that gets you talking about sex.

My favorite aspect of this gambit is that it is a simple transition into sex talk and sets the initial sexual frame so you can easily move to juicier gambits.

Some examples:

• The purity gambit

• The submission gambit

• The sexual subjectification gambit

• Or any of these gambits

Try it out. You will see your seduction unfold in no time.

Best,

Alek