Emotions

Childhood stories and memories are some of the most ingrained, pleasing thoughts that a person’s mind can evoke in life. It is merely human nature to attempt to relive things from a distant past that were pleasurable or peaceful. Although we have but a vague recollection of these events at the surface, they’re rooted far into the depths of our unconscious.

It is for those reasons that spurring a woman to recall all of these old feelings and thoughts will arouse deep-seated emotions in her that will not only spin her off into fantasy land, but will also create a very strong connection between the two of you.

And yes, I am aware that when we talk about psychoanalytical things and relate them to attracting women many guys shake their heads in disbelief. But, before you cast this one off as mere “hocus pocus”, I recommend giving it a thorough read-through and letting it digest first.

There is truth in science, and why not learn a bit about the dynamics behind deep-diving a girl on her childhood experiences?

Note from Chase: this is our first article from Mateo Navarrete – my old J.V. partner from way back in the day when GirlsChase.com received 200 visits a month and we used to offer live seminars and in-field coaching in San Diego, California in 2009. Mateo’s a former car company spokesman and present day owner of Live the Knight Life matchmaking services in S.D., and he’s one of the more positive, optimistic, and contagiously inspiring people you’ll meet. Take it away, Mateo..!

When was the last time you felt awkward around a girl to whom you were attracted?

I don’t mean to call you out; we’ve all been there.

Instead, I simply want us to think about what it was exactly that made us uncomfortable in that particular situation.

What is true love?

That question that has been on the minds of men and women since the dawn of humanity. Ever since men could create, we have been fashioning stories and artistic pieces as homages to love.

Ever since a young age, we have been brought up to have a very specific conception of love – especially in the West. We conceive of true love as this great sweeping feeling that overtakes us – and, if it is true love, it lasts until you take your final breath. And people spend whole lifetimes trying to capture this feeling. They even marry the wrong person after having convinced themselves – and others – that they have found it. The feeling of love is… indescribable. It consumes you. Sometimes, it even fundamentally changes you as a person.

And yet, in our everyday experience and through reading the stories of days long since passed, we can see that perhaps true love is not what we think it is. Even those romantic pairings who seem most in love are marred by strife, betrayal, and dissatisfaction. If the greatest of love is supposedly eternal, then how could people possibly fall out of it? How could the divorce rate in our country be so astronomically high? How could women who claim that they are truly in love so easily bounce from guy to guy once things are over?

We have a very great and idyllic view of love. And yet, the reality seems to contradict our conceptions.

So the question is: what is true love?

Blistering snow whips at your face. Your skin slowly cracks and numbs by the moment. And with every step, your body begs you to slow down and rest for just a moment…

But if you stop, you die.

Your tribe was just exterminated in a raid and you’re the only one who escaped. All that remains is you and your will.

No one is here to save you.

You are all alone.

Recognizing your desolation and loneliness, water pours from your eyes, granting everything in your sight a glow that you hadn’t noticed before this moment.

Intrigued by the perspective, you stop, disregarding your impending death, and observe your surroundings.

Despite the truth that your life has been stripped to pieces and everything is rapidly killing you, you drink in the world with no prejudice.

Curious, you stick out your tongue and taste the tears and the snow. Just the same. Just water.

You notice that, while the cold hurts, it’s just a feeling. Yes, slightly less satisfying than the warmth of your campfire and the embrace of your former lover, but, nonetheless, still just a feeling.

The fear slowly fades – you recognize that the “world” is just a lot of individual elements reacting on their own to the rest of the elements, no different from you.

A smile creeps upon your lips.

The rest of existence is just as lonely as you are.

Purpose fills you, and you resolve to continue walking.

The cold air still stings, and the tears continue to roll down your cheeks, but your sly grin propels you to a nearby grove of trees where, for one more night, you choose to persist in this life.

On the Girls Chase forums, one of our members named Godsninja shared a sticky situation he found himself in after getting an unpleasant response from a girl he’d traded numbers with and planned to set up a date with. Here’s the gist of it (full post here):

“I got her number and a few days later followed up with our date plan.

I don’t believe I got a text back from her, but I did get a text from another number claiming to be her fiance. Keep in mind this was several months ago, so I don’t remember how the text conversation went, but I remember I was very assertive, and after a few texts back and forth (finding out her fiance is a she), we stopped texting. I stopped texting cuz there wasn’t really a point.

It wasn’t anything serious, kind of awkward, but funny. It started out a little serious but I think I remember suggesting we all have a date together bahah.

...

I was sitting in my car a few hours later and got a text message from an unknown number (her supposed fiance) telling me that I’m an idiot, a stalker, and that she is “gun a go tell/call the cops”, so I told her to go fuck herself because she doesn’t know shit about me, and to come out to the parking lot to ‘talk’. She then reminded me that she was a girl, and I told her she would probably end up kicking my ass anyway. I told her I was really sweaty, and that I’m a good kisser, but I won’t tell anybody. She never replied so I sent a last text telling her not to text me anymore.

After the weekend I got an email telling me I had to attend a non-optional meeting with the Manager of Student Rights and Responsibility. I was reported for intimidation and sexual harassment.”

In this case, this was a pretty unfair situation for GN – he made his approach, took a phone number to set up a date, then got into a nasty text exchange from an unknown number by some person claiming to be this girl’s ‘fiancé’ whom he suspects was actually a female friend or acquaintance of this girl he’d approached.

When he ran into the girl again a semester later, he greeted her, knowing she was familiar but not knowing who she was. As soon as he remembered, he laughed about it, and, not wanting to get sucked back in, bid her adieu.

A few hours later, he received a highly confrontational text message – and then took the bait and got into a texting battle. In the end, the ‘fiancé’ (or whoever s/he was) reported him for ‘harassment’ to the university, railroading his focus and studies – he got off with a warning, but the instigators of the whole thing (the other two people) saw no consequences themselves whatsoever.

Situations like this are rare – you can approach 1,000 girls a year and something like this will only happen to you once or twice, maybe.

However, how you deal with such scenarios can make all the difference between letting awful people like this have a really bad, negative impact on your life, and preventing them from having any meaningful impact at all.

The vast majority of people in the world operate under the belief that they are good enough. Since birth we’ve been fed ideas that we are perfect just the way we are. Doesn’t matter if you’re skinny, fat, awkward, or have a bad temper; it’s just your personality, and you can’t just change that. After all, we’re all unique – all 9 billion of us – which leads to the conclusion that there is at least one person who will love us unconditionally: our soul mate.

But, if I’ve found you here, reading these words, it implies that you understand that love – real, passionate, sex-driven love – is not the same variety of unconditional love that you receive from your mother. There’s something different about it.

Women aren’t going to want to sleep with you because they see you as their soul mate, they are going to want to sleep with you because you are attractive. It’s because you lead them decisively towards the bedroom, not because you are her one and only special someone; not because you were destined to be together.

However, understand this as you may, there is a chance that this knowledge has fooled you into being something that you are not. Those ideas that we’re consistently fed that we are good enough are hard to let go of, and in the face of action we often would rather make up lies to make us feel as though we are that attractive man who can lead decisively.

Which, in the end, is just another way of saying you are perfect the way you are.

You bought into the idea without even meaning to.

In order to relinquish control of the little white lies that you tell yourself, you must actively wrestle control of your ego. Yes, your ego, because after all these years of messages that you are fine the way you are, you must understand that something in you has to change before you are to obtain the results you seek.

Many men who learn seduction get to the level where they get laid, but very few reach their full potential. Why is that so and what can we do about it?

This article is only directly relevant for intermediates and up, but I would still recommend everyone read it. Knowledge about potential future traps enables people to avoid them in advance and do fewer stupid things to themselves and others in the future.