Pickup

Make the wrong social move, and you’re a buzzkill no one wants to be around. There are nine (9) such wrong moves, including bad topics, zero confidence, and talking over the other party.

A reader asks:

“Chase, could you write about things that turn you into a buzzkill around people? I read your article on how to overcome depression and I’m currently working hard to get myself out that rut. But sometimes when I’m around people I turn into buzz killington without even knowing it. What are the things I can consciously do to hide my depression?”

It’s a great question.

This site’s about pulling yourself up by the bootstraps, self-improvement, and doing better. Various guys start out at various places. Some guys start out dealing with depression or saddled with victim mentality. Either of these can make you a downer in conversation who sends others running in the opposite direction.

Or even if these aren’t your particular afflictions and you’re content with life, you still may have behaviors you’ve picked up somewhere that inadvertently make you a total buzzkill to other people... Without even realizing you’re doing it.

So, to help you be a more pleasant interlocutor and allow you to rack up positive conversational reference points all the faster, I’ve compiled a list of nine (9) things that serve to kill the buzz any time you use them in a conversation with other people.

Stamp these behaviors out of your repartee repertoire, and you’ll notice people start to like you a whole lot more, more girls say “yes” when you ask them out, and more of the folks you meet want to see you again and include you in what they’re doing.

Here’s our list.

When you contrast yourself with unattractive men, you attract her more. The key lies in how you highlight their traits versus yours.

Hello everyone. I hope you are doing great. Today I will share another NLP-based technique that you can use to trigger attraction and to make women perceive you as the right guy – for her.

What if you could contrast yourself against all the boring girls a guy meets, and be that much more delicious for her? Wouldn’t that do awesome things for your ability to attract her (and your success rates from those attractions)?

Many men get kind of scared when they see NLP-based material like what I’ll give you today, but I promise you that this technique is actually pretty simple. In addition, this technique that I am about to share is rather risk-free. There’s very little chance it backfires on you.

Worst-case scenario, it won’t work as well as you expect. But I will tell you, the results for me from this technique have consistently been amazing. This is a technique I use a lot when I go out to meet women, and it helps speed up the process.

I will first get straight to what the technique is, then I will explain the mechanism and discuss briefly when one can use it. I will later share some examples in order to make sure you get an idea of how this works.

Once you know how to pick up girls in lounges, you’ll find they’re some of the best places for this. More quiet, fewer distractions, and more intimacy make things easier for you.

I discussed night game in general in my 2013 essay “How to Pick Up Girls in Bars and Clubs.” This time around, I’ll detail how to pick up girls in lounges.

What is a lounge?

A lounge is a dark nighttime venue that plays subdued, rhythmic music.

The music isn’t the type you’d go nuts dancing to, or sing along with. It exists to create a background, rather than be the main event itself.

I’ve always liked lounges because I’m not a dance floor guy. Dance clubs and dance bars feature dance as the main event here. People lose themselves in the music and merge into the tribe. A large part of success picking up girls in these venues comes down to how you position yourself in the social hierarchy. Are you a sexy jock? The consummate party guy? Nightclub promoter? What’s your rank within this tribe?

Lounges have a lot less of the tribal element. You can still find tribes within them – like groups of people there to listen to a certain DJ, for instance. But even these tribes tend to be open to outsiders, and take themselves less seriously.

A lounge makes it easier to talk and seduce your way into bed with her. There’re fewer distractions to pull her away from you, and her friends care less about whether you’re part of the tribe (and what rank). Girls cockblock least in lounges, and help you sleep with their friends most here. Lounges are the venues you’re most likely to start hitting it off with a girl, and then her friends just leave the two of you alone to do... Whatever you want to do.

Nonetheless, there are standard elements to lounge pick ups it helps to know. In this article, I’ll show you what those are and how to pull them off... So you can take things from conversation to copulation.

So, let’s talk about how to pick up a girl in a lounge.

You load a barbell one side at a time. The most effective way to improve with girls is to use the same approach: one side at a time, then the other.

There is one thing that bugged me more than anything else when going out with someone new to hit on girls, and I never realized it till a few months back, and only then did I begin to put it into words.

Odds are, if you go out to talk to women, you do this at least some of the time too. Most guys do. And it’s bad for you. I’ll tell you what the thing is in a moment, but first, let me tell you about Seneca’s Barbell.

A month ago I read Antifragile by Nassim Taleb. In it, Taleb highlights the problem I noticed guys running into when I’d go out with them to chat up girls. The solution for this problem is what Taleb terms “Seneca’s Barbell”.

The idea behind Seneca’s Barbell is that when you work on part A of a two-part project, focus just on A; when you work on part B of that project, focus just on B. Do not work half and half on A and B at the same time, because you divvy up your attention between foci and prevent yourself doing either effectively.

As Taleb puts it, think of a barbell used by a bodybuilder. When he prepares the barbell, the bodybuilder places the weights on either side of the bar, not in the middle. Engage and become fully consumed with one side, then be fully consumed with the other. Never try to do both at once. Use your focus to its fullest.

Let me explain how this idea applies to picking up women.

Pacing and leading is a potent neurolinguistic programming (NLP) technique used to first match someone’s state, then lead her. It’s extremely useful in dating and seduction.

Ok, so I decided to get into more practical stuff. During the summer I tend to go out so much more, which motivates me to write about more practical stuff.

Before I jump into it, a caveat: this post will be most useful for advanced players.

Sure, as a beginner, there will be a few things in this post that you will enjoy. That being said, this is not what a novice should focus on at first – there are fundamentals that are more key to focus on.

However, if you are an intermediate or even an advanced player, you should absolutely pay attention.

Today’s topic is pacing and leading, a very powerful technique that will allow you to drag people into your reality with little to no resistance. Pacing and leading is a neuro-linguistic programming (NLP) technique that will help increase your chances of dragging people comfortably into your reality. Most people are not comfortable being led into a different world, and hence put up their defense mechanism. Pacing and leading allows you to hook them in, lower their guards, and smoothly drag them into you world.

This sounds probably super fancy to you who are new to the concept – and one can make very complicated posts related to this subject. I tend to see many books (many bad books) covering NLP and related subjects that are filled with mental masturbation and over-complications. I will therefore make an understandable, straight-to-the-point post – and you will see... it is not rocket science after all.

So here is how we will do it in this post. I will:

• Cover the mechanism by which this concept works
• Show different ways of using the technique
• Share a few examples

It’s frustrating if your results from day game aren’t what they used to be. To solve the riddle of what’s happened, first you need to know what’s changed.

Hello everyone, it’s been a while. Have you ever felt frustrated because you were not getting any results at all from day game?

Or even worse (paradoxically), because you were so successful in recent weeks/months but are now not getting the same results, you feel like you’re crashing?

Well, I guess that happens to everyone, and it’s an annoying feeling for sure, but don’t panic. Let’s dive in a little bit and see what we can do.

I will divide this article into two parts:

1. What to do if you’ve never been able to make day game work for you
   

2. What to do if your day game results peak, then start to fall off or decline
   

I’ll will cover Part 1 with just a few lines, since there is enough material for beginners on this website already to keep you busy reading for a few weeks. But I will dive deeper into Part 2, which reflects what I’ve been through in the past months and is directed more specifically to intermediate/advanced day game practitioners.

Gold diggers can be a problem, especially if you’re richer than the girls you’re meeting. However, there are two (2) ways to reliably screen them out.

In my discussion of the belief some guys hold that “women are evil”, a reader named SBM asks:

“The question is though, how do you screen for gold-diggers? How can you find out whether or not a girl you’re taking out on a date is in fact a gold-digger?”

It’s a good question!

I, for one, love girls who are sexy, fashionable, and confident. These are tempting qualities for me in any girl. However, one of the drawbacks of qualities like this is that they’re often – perhaps even most often – found in gold diggers.

And while I’m not wealthy enough to attract top-flight gold diggers looking for a payout all of the time, I dress well enough that I get approached by them sometimes in the U.S. (particularly in Las Vegas, that seedy den of predatory gold digging paradise). And I run into them in Eastern Europe and Asia.

Some guys like gold diggers, or are comfortable with the exchange gold diggers want. If you’re such a guy, who thinks it’s perfectly reasonable for a girl to trade her looks for your resources and financial security, this article won’t be of much interest to you. Or maybe it will be, as a kind of reverse technique. Just do the opposite of it and you’ll attract the gold diggers and repel the girls who don’t believe in this trade.

However, if you’re like me, and you dislike the foundation gold digging rests upon, then read on, and let’s talk how to screen these girls out.