Pickup

Note from Chase: about a month ago, we published the first article by Colt in our "Student of the Game" series, "How to Succeed with Women," and I asked the readers here if they'd like to see more from a guy who's still learning the ropes on getting girls. The response was "yes," and Colt's submitted another article for us here. Hope you enjoy.

It’s a dream of almost every man out there: to be irresistible to women. But, most men write this off as a pipedream.

Yet, this “pipedream” is a lot more attainable as a reality than most men think. And today…we’re going to focus on turning those pipedreams into pipe reality.

There’s a lot of debate in the self-improvement circles about where confidence comes from: does it come from within, or does it come from without? On this site we normally try to find balance, and in that spirit, usually settle on the fact that once you find a few ounces of confidence to start approaching, your inevitable success with women will only feed your inner confidence and make you more confident, more irresistible to women, and more successful – a self-perpetuating cycle.

But the confidence you get from working on getting better with girls isn’t the only confidence you can build - or even the most effective variety.

I've been with my fair share of "attached" women before - that's girls with boyfriends and girls with husbands. As I've mentioned before, the way I see it, there's always some guy, SOMEWHERE who's going to be angry you're sleeping with a girl - whether he's her boyfriend, her ex-boyfriend, her husband, or just some guy who's already "called dibs" on her and you moved faster, it doesn't matter - somebody somewhere is upset that you're with "his" girl. So you can either spend time worrying if some man you don't know will have his feelings hurt if you sleep with a woman who wants you, or you can sleep with a woman who wants you and figure that if someone is upset about her for sleeping with someone else, well, that's between that person and her.

And if she was REALLY his, there's not a thing you could've done to get her... trust me.

By the same coin, it doesn't bother me a lick when men are trying to get a girl *I'm* seeing. If you're dating a beautiful girl, men will want her, and men will try to get her. More power to them for trying. And hey, if she DOES give you the slip for some other cat, you can take that as strong evidence that either you weren't doing things right with her, or she wasn't the kind of girl who believes much in loyalty and fidelity, or you're dealing with some combination thereof (usually it's some combination thereof).

Lately though, I've been seeing some pretty lame attempts by men trying to get my girlfriend. And it's made me (and my girlfriend) realize: most men have no idea what to do when a girl has a boyfriend and they like her.

In an effort to stem the tide of lame attempts men make to get girls with boyfriends, I've put together a list here of the top 3 things TO do, and the top 7 things NOT to do when you're trying to get a girl who's got a guy. After reading this list you will, I hope, be in a much better position to avoid making these mistakes - and avoid ending up in time-wasting or worse situations with attached women, too.

Ever hear of push-pull? It's one of the more versatile tools you can employ to help you get girls more easily and reliably. It's also one of the least-understood tools out there... how many people reading this article right now can offer a clear, coherent explanation of what push-pull really is?

Probably not too many of them.

What push-pull is, though, is intrigue, attraction, and emotional spiking wrapped up into one package. It's a means of ratcheting up a woman's interest, and it's one entirely under your control and not dependent on any given prompt or reaction from her.

In other words, it's one of seduction's dragon slayers - one of the best ways you can transform women with noses in their air to women tearing down your door.

And it doesn't require that you have any special skills or abilities. Only that you have enough self-control to pull it off... and that's why it's so attractive.

Most men don't.

Let's begin by looking at why.

Note from Chase: Colt first got in touch with me almost two months ago to tell me he'd gotten a great deal out of reading the blog and the book here and asked if he might contribute something. My response to this was, "Let's see what you've got, kid!" So he sent along the following article. Here it is, with but a few edits, Colt's first post as a "Student of the Game." Below, please let us know if you've enjoyed hearing from a newer guy who's doing well yet still working out a few of the kinks in his approach toward women and if you'd like to see more from Colt in the future.

When I first started actively approaching women, I had a million voices in my head telling me that I couldn’t succeed with women, that I shouldn’t succeed. How could a regular guy like me be able to charm women like Casanova? If every other man in the world had, at best, mediocre success with girls, why would I do any better? I didn’t want to step out of the norm... I didn’t even know how.

Deep down, every man, I believe, wants to be unique. Every man wants to show women why they should choose him and nobody else. But believing that you can succeed can be a hard roadblock; taking the first step isn’t always easy. If you’ve had difficulty with taking the first step, chances are that’s why you are on this site. And if that’s the case, this post is for you.

Once you've begun working on your abilities to pick up girls for a little while, you'll soon find you run into a flavor of situation again and again that manifests in a variety of forms and a variety of ways: girls acting not as you expected them and you feeling a little surprised, shaken, and fazed.

This post is all about how you can be unfazed, even in the face of the sometimes-disorienting behavior of new women you'll meet while out and about.

Because as you'll come to realize, getting fazed - and remaining unfazed - isn't necessarily about having already been through every situation already. Instead, what it's actually about is a state of mind and freedom from "hoping" for a specific outcome to come about that you can't control.

In addition to that, there are a number of specific, technical steps you can take that will free you from the risk of ending up fazed at some point, because they avoid taking you down the roads that most often lead to guys getting fazed.

And the funny thing is, the more you're able to remain unfazed, the better able you are to bring about the things that can end up seeming out-of-reach to the men who do get fazed.

But, we're getting a bit abstract. Before I say more, first allow me to explain.

I'm taking a week off from writing a Tactics Tuesdays post to write another post that is, I suspect, long overdue: a post on social proof. It isn't something we talk much about on here, nor one that I think you want to devote an inordinate amount of your time or attention to.

Yet, it is one that, used properly, can be an absolutely incredibly powerful tool for picking up girls and for changing the minds of the ones you already know.

I'll go into some example below of just what social proof is, how you can use it, and why you don't want to miss using this potent and effective tool, both for lifestyle design and for using in your own pick ups on the fly - whether you've got friends around or not.

Onward...

For my first few years actively learning how to get girls, there was one thing I struggled with above all else: how to be attainable. Value I understood; be an attractive, high-value man, and women will want you. Investment was straightforward enough; get people putting in more work, and they'll come to value you more highly.

But how the heck did attainability work? I couldn't get my mind around it. I got the concept logically, but emotionally I was still checked out.

I had no clue how to really be attainable. I couldn't even figure out how to tell if not being attainable enough was my problem... or if I was coming across lower in value, or I needed to get more investment.

The excerpt I chose for today's excerpts post covers some of the ground floor stuff on attainability. This selection is from my eBook, How to Make Girls Chase: Every Tactic and Technique You Need to Get the Girl(s) of Your Dreams, and in it, we go into the four essentials you need to know to properly manage your attainability (and keep from sending women into auto-rejection [you're too unattainable] or just friends [you're too attainable]).