(3) Journeyman

First time sex that’s too rough or makes a girl feels slutty often backfires. The secret to passionate sex is to escalate to it over a series of encounters with her.

The first time you have sex with girls, you do not want it to be overly rough. Nor do you want to do anything to trigger feelings in a woman that you think she's a slut.

Yet I have noticed over the years that some guys are fairly (or even quite) rough during the first sexual encounter with a girl. They may do other things that imply to her they think she's a slut (such as using dirty talk where they might even tell her she's a slut. On the first night!).

Some possible reasons men do this with women include:

1. They've watched a lot of porn and have conflated 'rough' and 'wild' with 'showing her a good time'

2. They're just really physical, manly guys and think just being rough with a woman the first time is normal

3. They may have had a girlfriend or FWB who liked it rough and gotten into the habit of being really rough during sex, and that's carried over into their hookups with new girls

4. There's also the less-charitable interpretation is that they may not really care about the girl at all and are just using her to pump and dump (who cares if she has a good time or not!)

Regardless the reason for their roughness the first time they have sex with a girl, the fact is you should not be too rough the first time you bed her.

There are a variety of reasons for this. Some of them are quite important.

So, I hope you will read on -- and have better first encounters + avoid a lot of potential heartache for yourself and women.

Open relationships are an increasingly popular relationship setup. But should you as a man engage in them? It all depends on what you’re after.

I'm pretty familiar with the open relationship.

The open relationship has been linked with the seduction community, which I've been a part of since the tail end of 2005, more or less since its inception in the late 1990s.

Through my connection to it, I've watched countless men begin, engage in, and recommend to other men open relationships. I've seen guys transition their monogamous relationships to open relationships. I've listened to men proclaim that open relationships are the only workable long-term relationship solution and that "monogamy is dead" or "monogamy doesn't work."

Most of the OGs who stick around in the seduction community are open relationship guys -- there's a strong survivorship bias in online seduction community posting for being inclined toward open relationships. Which makes sense, right? If a guy's off in some long-term committed monogamous relationship he's not too likely to keep keeping up with a bunch of rapscallions sharing notes on tagging new tail.

Generally speaking, if you are in seduction, you will not usually get much of an alternate perspective from the open relationships cheerleading you'll see in the space coming from OGs.

It's the same in mainstream media, Reddit, and much of other social media in general. Here's an article in Vogue this month talking about "love's sharing economy" and declaring that open relationships (here dubbed 'consensual non-monogamy') are the next stage of romantic evolution -- a sort of inevitable future we will all be a part of, in a kind of joyously open sexual egalitarian utopia. Monogamy, according to the current sexual zeitgeist, is "boring", "stifling", "patriarchal", and "outdated"; non-monogamy is "progressive", "liberating", "egalitarian", and "modern." Non-monogamy is the way all the cool kids are doing long-term relationships these days! Right? Right?

The thing with open relationships folks don't tell you though is that this relationship configuration is:

• Highly suited to SOME types of people over the long-term

• Fun for OTHER types of people over the short-term only to degrade for them over the long-term

• Simply unappealing altogether for a third chunk of people over either the short- or long-term

How do you know which camp you fall into?

Is the open relationship for you? Is it a joy and a liberation, a temporary dalliance, or a mistake?

Well, it's going to depend -- on you, on what you're after, and the way your life plays out.

So some guy wants to disrupt your conversation with a girl, either to talk to you or to take her for himself. If you can’t ignore him, what can you do? Destroy him!

Quick little tactic that absolutely wrecks anyone trying to butt into your conversation with a girl.

Every guy's been talking to a girl only to have some random dude rudely interrupt his conversation, either trying to talk to him or trying to talk to the girl.

Sometimes it's because the interloper is uncalibrated and just wanted to talk to you or her but did not know how to wait properly for an opening in the conversation to jump in.

Other times it may be because the interloper directly wants to steal your girl, and he's hoping to peel her off you, or to peel you offer her (either so his wingman can talk to her, or so he can back-turn you once he's gotten you to break circle and turn his attention to the girl, with you now out of the conversation).

My normal recommendation (and normal policy) is to just ignore the guy (see: Dealing with Disruptive Men).

Most guys won't be able to break into a conversation if you don't acknowledge them, especially if the girl is into you enough to follow your lead and ignore the guy so long as you're ignoring him too.

But what do you do if the guy is really loud, aggressive, and in your face?

What do you do if he approaches the girl first, and you can see she's about to crack and break circle to engage with him?

There's an alternate tactic you can use -- something of a disruption Plan B -- if you're quick enough on your feet.

I call it the 'Disruptor Destroyer'.

People have all kinds of aggressive, often ignorant opinions. About everything! To deal with this without losing your head, you must first put things into perspective.

Decidedly on the rise is the profusion of aggressively opinionated people.

You know, those people who will get in your face, flaunt their opinions at you and, with little manners or decorum, do their very best to bait you into either agreeing with them or outing yourself as one of 'the bad ones' who believes not as they do.

Regardless of your set of beliefs (on any of a range of items), you can probably agree that there are many of both the people who agree for the most part with you and those who really don't agree with you who hold rigid, inflexible opinions about a great many things.

If you're a critical thinker, you can probably also admit that most people -- even most of those who agree with you -- hold only shallow understandings of the positions they purport to hold, and are far more emotionally attached to their positions than they are logically secure in them.

This is a human tendency, to form emotional attachments to views, often with only a superficial eye cast toward any kind of objective underpinning of said views. Opinionated, impassioned, yet superficial arguments are annoying to everyone, but they're especially annoying if you're a critical thinker.

There's little worse for critical thinkers than to find oneself in a debate with someone demanding he unquestioningly accept the veracity of a flimsily-supported position or else be forever damned as evil incarnate (or perhaps just stupid, brainwashed, or uninformed).

This article won't be about any particular current events or hot button issues, and if you comment I'd urge you to keep to the spirit of that here too.

Instead, its focus is on dealing with opinionated people: both avoiding pointless entanglements with them as well as preserving your own sanity despite maddening insistence you agree to the unreasonable or be damned.

Women need a reason for sex; men just need a place. So goes the saying… but why is this the case? Much of it has to do with the way women experience sexual arousal.

Comedians are often sources of soundbites of wisdom, wrapped up in humorous packaging.

I suppose it harkens back to the old saying that, "Many a truth is said in jest," eh?

Comedian Billy Crystal once made the following observation:

Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place.

It's a funny little quote, that both makes an amusing "women are overly complicated / men are overly simplistic" jab at sexual dynamics yet also highlights an important truth.

The truth it highlights is that, indeed, women do not choose their sex partners or sexual situations the way men do. Women always need 'a reason' for physical intimacy to occur.

Night game doesn’t always get a lot of love. But it has a lot of love to give. Here are 5 big benefits of night gaming… plus how night game differs from meeting girls by day.

Hey guys, and welcome back.

Considering night game is not getting much love lately, I am dedicating two posts to it to give it the love it merits. I want to convince those who aren’t into it to give it a chance. Trust me; you are missing out—just AS MUCH as those night gamers who’ve never tried day game.

What is amazing about the field of seduction and pickup is that you have a vast library of knowledge, theories, techniques, and different playing grounds with different dynamics. Various “weapons” (seduction tools) work differently in certain scenarios, while new maps will give you a unique experience. This may confuse many, but the truth is, they are just different tools—similar to a video game where you can choose the weapons that fit you best!

This makes it all exciting and fun. I had a night game student who struggled and was getting demotivated. I told him, “Hey, why don’t you try day game for a bit?” He was hesitant but eventually went for it. The change of scenery and dynamics gave him more results and made him excited again—soon, he became a better night gamer.

I see no reason why this shouldn’t work the other way around. The true seducer is the guy who masters the trifecta: social circles, day game, and night game. An advanced guy will specialize in one field (or multiple). You are wrong if you think Hector Castillo, our social circle (and day game) expert, has never done night game and pulled from it. You are equally wrong if you think that Dan, our major day game expert, has never practiced night game.

Be open-minded. Try out things and give them a chance. Stubbornness never helped anyone in this field.

Here are more reasons why night game is amazing.