(3) Journeyman

People are becoming pricklier, and women are no exception. To succeed with them, you must at times disarm them first. There are 4 different ways to do that.

Lately I've been dealing with disarming.

The concept sprung to mind most recently as I realized more and more of our readers are men stuck in the 'standards zone' -- a place where they cannot get the women they want because they don't meet those women's standards. Rather than disarm their concerns (because I wasn't really treating them as part of our target audience before), I argued with guys that women's standards are not actually high... which of course just makes guys who are of this mind close up and dig into where they already are.

Now, arguing with people obviously is not an effective way to open up communication lines with them.

Arguing is what you do when you want to bludgeon someone, either to make an example of him, or to win him over by sheer force of argument... which usually won't carry much farther than a single interaction, and tends to burn through good will.

The thing is, people across the board are becoming more argumentative -- and that goes for women.

People are more opinionated right now then I've seen them since I've been alive. I wasn't around during the anti-war protests in the 1970s, so maybe it was worse then, but at least in the years since the 1980s this is the most prickly I've seen it.

Women in particular are being dosed with all this propaganda about a 'battle of the sexes' going on.

Not all women are equally susceptible to this programming. Some are very, some are a little, some aren't really at all.

However, you will encounter women who are.

To succeed with these women (or, as a less ambitious goal, to avoid unpleasant encounters!), you must be able to disarm their prickly defenses.

You must, in other words, be able to take them off their guards.

Society doesn’t care about men. Women are worshipped. For this reason, men can’t get women. Is this true? Or is it… fantasy?

We had a guy register on our forum and derail a thread to talk about how if you're "not in the top 1% of men" women don't want you and you can't get girls.

Needless to say, this is a guy who admittedly does not get girls. So he must know all about what it takes to get girls, eh?

Am I in the top 1% of attractive men? I suppose it depends how you determine that. I tend to think I am, so long as you're taking into account charm, social abilities, resolve, and whatnot. But I can tell you I definitely was not when I started out on this journey... and I still got girls. Some of them quite hot, too.

I shagged a fashion model when I had a beer belly, baggy clothes, mumbled talk, and a little boy haircut! I got a beautiful, vivacious girlfriend who was the niece of the former Secretary of Defense of a Latin American country around the same time! (she didn't want to date me at first, but persistence paid off!)

Our Field Reports Board on the forum is filled with lays from guys who aren't yet in the "top 1% of men" (as well as some guys who probably are!).

But this isn't about "do you need to be top 1% to get girls" (I've already addressed that elsewhere).

This is about this particular excerpt from one of this user's posts in his forum thread:

But it is true though.  Women are propped up and worshipped by society.  Men are disposable and basically thrown away like defective toys.  The only ones with any real power, control or lasting effect over women these days are the 1 percent.

There it is, isn't it?

"Women are worshipped. Men are disposable. Only the top 1% of men can rise above it."

Let's talk about that mentality, and how guys get it... and also why it's a sack of over-ripe mainstream media brain-slave cow manure.

Toxic behaviors (even the little ones) can make relationships aggravating. Yet there are ways to tackle them… and disincentivize a relationship partner from using them.

Unless you've chosen a highly enlightened mate, you'll probably deal with some bad behavior sometimes in relationships. If you've chosen someone who's a little more 'special', you may have more of these to deal with than others do... but almost everyone has to deal with toxic behavior at least occasionally.

Most strategies you'll see for dealing with toxic behaviors are based around withdrawing, closing yourself off, giving the other person space, and so on. This can be an effective approach. It's especially useful for people you decide you just want to wash your hands of.

However, "withdrawing into your shell" isn't so useful a strategy for an ongoing relationship... things like the 'Gray Rock' strategy are really for people you want to out of your life, not those you're entangled with by choice.

So let me give you a couple of more assertive strategies you can use to nix toxic behavior in your relationships.

Why do women scream during sex? One theory claims it’s to draw other males near for sperm competition. But does this actually happen in real life?

I had a conversation the other day with a friend about women screaming during orgasm.

He told me about a hypothesis he'd encountered in the (idealistically egalitarian-utopian, not to mention panned by scholars) book Sex at Dawn that women yell during orgasm to attract competing mates for sperm competition.

Right on the face of it, this hypothesis has always seemed obviously incorrect to me.

First off, not to brag or anything (although I guess it's going to sound that way... can't be helped though, eh?), I've made a lot of girls scream quite loud from sex, yet I've never had a guy knock at my door and ask if he could have her next.

Second off, I've heard plenty of women I wasn't having sex with screaming, yet never has the urge come over me to knock on the couple's door and tell the man to beat it because it was my round with her now.

Third, I have never heard a single story in all my life and all the very many sex stories I have heard from the tons of men I've known in the seduction space of even a single man being chased off by another man following the first man's woman engaging in orgasm vocalizations.

Not even among hunter-gatherers, who are the cheerily idealized subject of the Sex at Dawn book, have I come across any evidence of moaning women attracting competitor males who chase off the guy making the woman moan and take her for themselves.

The "female sex vocalizations attract competitor males for sperm competition" hypothesis seems to describe a behavior that is completely absent from humans from anything I have ever actually seen or heard both firsthand and from others from anywhere else in the world.

Yet, when I dug into the research on women's sex vocalizations a bit more, I discovered some interesting tidbits that do tie in, a bit, to the Sex at Dawn theory -- although, I think, not quite in the way the authors framed it (at least, not based on the synopses I've read, not having read the book).

Sometimes it can feel like the game has changed… and things that used to work to get girls don’t work anymore. Yet the game abides. You can rebound, too.

Lately, I have been discussing issues with low momentum: the times when you feel like you’ve lost your mojo and that getting laid or meeting women is more difficult than ever. Low momentum periods are your “off periods.”

These are the periods when you get few results, and what worked well doesn’t anymore. Your energy level is low, your vibe is not as sexy, and your results have diminished.

It’s a natural part of the game. All seducers face periods of high and low momentum. How long the low periods last depends on your skill level, experience, and how much work you put into getting out of low momentum.

I have discussed the benefits of not giving up during low momentum, plus provided a guide on how to get out of it. If you are experiencing low momentum, these posts are for you!

Today, I’ll share a reflection on low momentum that stems from a chat I had with fellow experienced seducers.

Usually, I don’t write philosophical posts as I prefer to share practical insights, but I can sometimes make exceptions.

Calibration allows you to fluidly conduct social interactions with others. How do you develop it, though? There are several ways, but they all involve talking with other people.

Other people are similar to you in many ways. Yet they also have their differences.

People tend to veer too far in one way or the other, either assuming excess similarity or assuming excess differences between people. Depending on which way you veer, your baseline approach to calibration will differ.

For example, if you tend to assume everyone is just like you, your main calibration task becomes to identify ways people are different, and adjust your behavior to compensate for the differences between you and them.

On the other hand, if you are someone who assumes most people are nothing like you, you need to train yourself to be much more aware of the similarities between yourself and others, to bridge the gaps between you.

Achieving a balanced sense of how alike someone is to you, as well as in what particular ways he is different, and what he is most responsive to, and using that sense to adapt your interaction with him, leads you to calibration.

All calibration is is the treatment of someone in a way effective for that individual; a way that gels with his likes, preferences, and motivators.

The better you calibrate, the more easily people will like and respond to you, plus do what you ask them to do.

People will view a calibrated individual as more alike them, more understanding of them, and less mysterious and unfathomable to them, too.

Ask girls to tell you which girl is who in the group… and get them all involved in a gambit that makes things social & tells you which girl to look out for most.

Hey guys. Welcome back!

I recently discovered a gambit that works extremely well when dealing with girls in groups. It accomplishes so much! It is easy to pull off, and you can use it whenever you want after the opener.

This post is suited for everyone, whether you are a beginner or an advanced guy. You should all be able to pull it off and reap the benefits of using this gambit, which include:

• Hooking the entire group by stimulating them
• Building compliance without excluding anyone
• Acquiring information about each girl, which will help you calibrate

Pretty neat, right?