(3) Journeyman

Men who are not super experienced with women tend to focus a lot on other men. Yet the romantically experienced man, in contrast, focuses on women, with little time for other men.

Recently I was observing myself, as I like to do, and noting my own behavior.

I was watching a particularly beautiful woman in a conversation with a man. The two were flirting and the woman was alternating between showing interest in him and playfully rolling her eyes at him.

I could tell you exactly what the woman looked like, what hairstyle she had, what color clothes she had on and what type, her facial features, facial expressions, and so on.

I have only the faintest idea what the man looked like. I didn't bother to note whether he was short or tall, muscular or skinny or fat, or had any facial hair. I did notice he had short hair spiked in the front (possibly with gel). I have no idea if he was good-looking or not, but I'm not really able to tell that with men generally. I don't know what he was wearing.

I realized this after I glimpsed briefly at the man, but returned to focusing squarely on the woman. As I observed myself, I noted this difference, and asked myself what I was looking for in the woman. I realized I was looking to see if she made signals in my direction, or indicated in any way that she wanted me, or any other man than the one she was with in general, to enter the conversation and whisk her away.

While I was observing her, I thought about how when people watch sex videos, both men and women focus on the woman: her facial expressions, reactions, etc.

And I thought, "There's an analogue here, perhaps."

But then I thought of how many novice seducers are constantly talking to me about men here on Girls Chase. They compare themselves to other men ("I'm not that tall", "I'm not good-looking", "I can't build muscle", etc.). They talk about what kinds of men women go for. They talk about being intimidated by other men.

And I realized I don't think any experienced guy I know thinks about other men the way seduction rookies do.

The only people overly worried about male competitors is men who aren't very good at competing for women.

Girls in your close social circle can be difficult to get with. You become a “fixture” to them and they won’t hook up (even if they like you!). How can you undo this? With a “showoff” date…

Most guys run social circles of some sort.

Often there are a few girls in your social circle who are good-looking but not super into you. Or they might be interested in you but they're not compliant enough you're able to get them out onto dates.

If you're also meeting women from places outside your social circle, there's a tactic you can leverage to use the power of preselection to get women in that circle chasing after you.

We'll just call this 'social circle date showoffs'.

It's both simple to do, and deviously effective.

Being able to assess difficulty is a key tool in seduction, as it helps you optimize your efficiency and success rate.

Hey guys! Today I will share a post for our advanced readers. This post may serve players of all levels, but it may be a bit heavy for the less experienced.

Nevertheless, it is an interesting subject. We’ll go over why a particular girl or group is hard to seduce.

As you will see, it can be tricky to assess, and so it should be obvious that you are likely to be wrong in your assessments (the harder something is, the more likely you are to make mistakes). Hence the message is: don’t overthink and waste your energy but instead go for it. You may realize that some girls are not that hard to get, even though they may initially have come across as hard nuts to crack.

And if they are hard to get, the challenge will provide you with valuable lessons.

These are some simple facts to consider.

This post will cover different variables in determining how hard a girl is to seduce. I will leave out one variable I have covered in-depth in a previous article: girls put up various types of resistance at different phases of the interaction. Some are hard to approach but easy to extract once you hook them in; others are easy to approach but hard to extract. Some are easy to both approach and extract but infernally difficult to escalate to sex with.

So keep this variable in mind as you read this post.

If you meet a girl or have a date, but you use a tactic too long or too many times, the tactic “inflates” – i.e., turns stale. How can you avoid stale tactics? By using a tactics timer.

This is a little technique I developed for myself to guard against inflation.

As a refresher: any time you use a certain tactic too long, it becomes 'inflated'. That is to say, you get predictable and things turn stale.

You can use this with any basic example. Imagine a guy talking to a girl who uses a good "That's what she said!" joke at an opportune time. The girl laughs. It's kind of cheesy, but also a little bit funny.

Three minutes later, he uses the exact same joke. Then another five minutes and he uses it again. Ten minutes after that, he tells her, "That's what she said!" yet again.

By this point, the joke is tired, stale, and inflated, and using it actually hurts the interaction because it feels like this guy has nothing else. He only has the few tricks he's been using, and while they might've felt fresh at first, that freshness is now long gone.

What are this guy's odds to hook up with the girl he's talking to? Not great, and getting lower by the minute. The more time he spends in inflation, the lower his odds become.

When you're learning, or you're rusty, you will tend to find yourself trapped in inflationary spirals at times. You'll realize you're getting boring, stale, and predictable... and then you can feel stuck.

You might start to panic a bit.

What can you do to escape, and salvage things with this girl?

The solution is to use tactics timers as a way to consciously avoid slipping into inflated interactions.

Ever have a woman imply she wants something… then later change to say or act like she “never wanted that anyway?” Does it mean she actually didn’t want it… or is she auto-rejecting?

Here's a place I see guys get tripped up a lot.

A woman they're courting or in a relationship with suddenly starts acting like she isn't interested in moving things forward with them. So the guy concludes, "I guess she isn't all that interested after all," and moves on to the next girl.

Meanwhile what was actually happening was the woman had started to auto-reject.

But she actually did want the guy to move things forward with her.

She only started acting like she didn't when she thought he wouldn't.

Tragically, things fall apart due to a miscommunication between the two... yet this miscommunication is all too common.

What if you want a girl, but another guy’s been ‘working on her’? Should you go for her anyway... or make a tactical retreat? Well, it depends on the situation.

Let's say you're at a gathering of some sort and there's this girl there you start talking to.

Things are going well between you, then at some point she gets up to go use the bathroom. While she's gone, a guy from the group leans in and tells you, "Hey man, no offense, but I'm working on that girl."

What's the correct thing to do here?

Should you back off and stop picking up on this girl... go look for another?

Should you ignore this guy totally and continue as if nothing'd been said?

Maybe challenge him to a duel?

How do you deal with these 'working on that girl you're picking up' guys?

You have something sexual you want to tell a girl or show her, but it’s inappropriate. How do you get around its impropriety? By baiting her into begging you to share it with her.

Want a simple little tactic you can use to bait girls into asking you things you couldn't/wouldn't normally be able to get away with in conversation?

Because there are some things that you really cannot just come out and drop on a girl, without it being too forward or out-of-place.

The solution, if you want to use a really forward compliment or bring up or show her something really sketchy is to lure her into asking you for it, pushing you for it, so that when you finally drop it on her, "she asked for it."

With a little good framing, this is not hard to do at all.

Note: while this tactic is simple, it requires a fair degree of calibration, and thus its use is a bit more advanced. So this will mostly be for intermediate and up guys (and really is for more advanced seducers).

Beginners may still find it interesting to read about, if purely for the psychology aspect.