(2) Intermediate

This simple ‘tactical framework’ for romantic conversations puts you in the driver’s seat. Get girls laughing, intrigued and following your lead in no time.

Yesterday we talked about the common problem where guys bombard women with too many questions.

It’s an easy trap to fall into, especially when you are new, and especially when the girl is not giving you much.

In that article, I challenged you (you being anyone who runs into this issue) to try running your conversations with ZERO questions – at least until the girl is hooked / shows sufficient interest on her end.

In today’s Tactics Tuesdays article, I’m going to give you a simple tactical framework you can use to make your “no questions convos” run smoothly in the early conversation.

We’ll call this tease-compliance-qualify-cold read – or TCQC for short.

Who are the people who sleep around a lot sleeping with? Well… EACH OTHER, for the most part. We look at the numbers and see how it all shakes out.

Next up in “uncomfortable truths about hooking up”: the more sex you have with more different people, the more you are dipping into the same (somewhat limited) pot of lovers every other sexually active person is.

A lot of people do not seem to understand this. In fact it took me a few years in seduction to realize it myself. I was picking up girls from nightclubs and some from dating apps. While I knew it wasn’t their first rodeo, it didn’t really occur to me that, “Every guy who also gets laid a lot is sleeping with these same exact girls.”

In any population of people, most of them aren’t having lots of sex with different people. Most of the women and most of the men only have a handful of lifetime partners. But this also means that most people in any given mating market are not participating in the dating scene most of the time. Only those who are single (or cheating) and who actively are looking for mates are participants. This is a limited pot of people.

Further, the most chronically ‘single and looking’ people tend to make up a disproportionate amount of those present in meet market environments (such as nightlife and dating apps), skewing hookups from these environments even more into the “shared lover” category.

I’ll give you some data to back up what I mean, but first I want to tell you a few stories.

How much interest or disinterest should you show a girl to fully attract her? It depends on the girl and the situation. You will just have to CALIBRATE.

Hey guys. Welcome back.

Recently, I have been discussing indirect game, when one approaches a girl indirectly, withholding interest to initiate communication more safely. The benefits of this approach can lower a woman’s guard and avoid triggering unnecessary rejections. Most women reject men because they want to protect themselves from being stuck with a guy they do not consider attractive, so indirect game can help avoid these situations.

Why? The girl does not perceive you as hitting on her explicitly.

But wait, you are an attractive, confident guy! You are smart, decently wealthy, cool, social, nice; the list goes on. However, all your positive traits are irrelevant because she does NOT know you when you approach. So, unless she picks up on cues that signify attractive traits (like social proof) before you approach (and it is not a given that she will notice), or you happen to be her type, she may not give you a chance. Approaching indirectly allows you to buy time and provides an opportunity to convey those traits—yes, you are an attractive guy she can envision hooking up with.

Unlike direct approaches, when it is all or nothing, with indirect game, things are ambiguous, giving you more playing room. She doesn’t feel forced to accept or reject you, so you can convey your attractive personality, guiding her opinion of you to favorable and even feeling “I really want this guy!”

And, the more interest she shows, the more interest you can show her in return because, eventually, you should show some interest.

The question then becomes: how much interest should you show her when the time is right? As much as her? More than her? Less than her?

That is the question I will tackle in this article.

If a girl is resistant or not as interested as she should be, you can use a disqualifier to make her feel like you’re saying you aren’t interested – and prompt her to chase.

One classic seduction tactic I’m surprised we’ve never written a devoted article on is the disqualifier. Given Alek Rolstad’s recent series on showing disinterest in girls (to get them chasing and raise attraction), I figured it was time to write one up.

A disqualifier is anything you use to disqualify either YOURSELF or THE GIRL. Disqualifiers have several use cases (such as simplifying the seduction by removing yourself from boyfriend contention). However, most of the time you will use them to slightly lower attainability in a playful, flirtatious way designed to make girls chase you.

Here’s a very simple example of a disqualifier you might use:

BLONDE GIRL: So what kind of girls do you like?

YOU: Mostly redheads but sometimes I go for brunettes.

By telling Ms. Blonde that you only go for redheads and “sometimes” brunettes, you implicitly disqualify her as a romantic option. If you read her right, and she was ripe for a disqualifier, she is going to start working harder to attract you – i.e., she is going to chase.

I’ll briefly discuss the psychology behind disqualification. Then we’ll talk about when and when not to use disqualifiers, plus give you some example disqualifications you can play around with on girls today.

Women have terrible taste in men. They keep going for the wrong guys again and again. But WHY do girls date the wrong guys? Hint: because they AREN’T wrong!

The single biggest source of frustration and cognitive dissonance for many men is the tendency of girls to date the wrong guys, time and again. A comment from a reader on a recent article of mine sums this up:

I quote myself: "If we know one thing for sure it’s that women rarely ever make the “right” decision for them, at least not what they had in mind." The meaning behind this sentence was and is, that women would rather be with someone who is "bad" on paper than someone who is supposedly a "perfect" match. It's why again I questioned the whole being cautious part you mentioned. In my experience women aren't cautious, they just like to make most men think they are in order to date the guys they really desire.

All too often, women choose unreliable bad boys who neglect them, fail to dote on them, avoid commitment to them, and not uncommonly cheat on them! This seems like terrible decision making from the nice guy point of view.

A nice male Redditor in his 30s laments attracting so many 30-something women “ready to settle down” after being jettisoned by bad boy exes.

The Nice Guy Bat Signal

When I first found the seduction community in 2005, nice men were deeply flummoxed over this intractable poor decision making women seemed to have in their mate selection. Years later, men in the red pill community continue to harp on this same exact point – the very one friend zoned men have long lamented.

It seems – to the uninitiated – as if most women have absolutely terrible romantic decision making skills.

Yet, as we shall see in this article, women know exactly what they’re doing.

There’s a reason girls go for the wrong guys and date bad boys instead of nice, safe, dependable men. (crazy as that may sound!)

Showing disinterest in a girl is a powerful way to drive up her interest in you. Yet there are only a few good ways to do this – and you must do it correct.

Hey guys. Welcome back to my series on showing disinterest in girls (the follow-on to my series on the indirect approach).

Last week, we discussed why showing disinterest is crucial when interacting with a new girl. Although we covered some elements about how to do this last week, we will delve deeper today.

Showing disinterest serves two purposes:

1. It lets you respond to a girl’s tests

2. It increases compliance

Let’s discuss how to show disinterest and calibrate it properly.

Most guys work hard to show women how interested they are. So why would you want to show a girl DISinterest? Just one reason: to raise HER interest in YOU!

Hey guys and welcome back. I hope you are all doing well.

Last week, I discussed showing interest by using indirect game to attract women.

A common misconception with indirect game is that you are overly aloof without showing any interest, relying on displaying disinterest. Although there is some truth to this, most go-to formulas of indirect game involve showing interest—sooner rather than later.

You should eventually escalate the vibe, creating an “us” frame. This is a “you and me together” vibe, adding a romantic and sexual layer to the interaction. For more, see my article from last week, which discusses ways to show interest.

Showing interest also helps avoid unnecessary auto-rejections. You do not want a girl to prematurely eject herself from the interaction to safeguard her ego. By showing some interest, you keep her in the loop, giving her a sign of hope that she has a shot at getting you.

Today, I will cover when to show disinterest—an essential indirect game factor. You will learn to show disinterest in ways to maintain her curiosity in you by:

• Showing disinterest in a way that does not de-escalate the vibe

• Showing disinterest without causing auto-rejection

Next week, I will go through the different ways to show disinterest.