(2) Intermediate

When a woman hits you with a skeptical accusation, fire back with this clever response: the “others say” tease.

I wrote a quick post on X about these but I want to expand on the concept in a tactical article here.

The next time a woman accuses you of something, agree & amplify while passing your answer through other people’s mouths:

🙎🏼‍♀️ “You’re a sexist!”
👨🏻 “That’s what all the ladies tell me.”

🙎🏼‍♀️ “You don’t have any money.”
👨🏻 “That’s what they told me at bankruptcy court.”

🙎🏼‍♀️ “I’ll bet you have a 3” d!ck.”
👨🏻 “My doctor said I’m a medical anomaly.”

Not only is it funny, and not only does it give you that devil may care charm, it also confuses her because of the claim that it comes from someone else.

Confusion game = ultimate game to use on women who are acting uppity.

— Girls Chase 🏃‍♀️💨 (@GirlsChase) December 10, 2024

An “others say” tease (or a pass-through tease) is a tease uniquely suited for dealing with tests and criticism. It’s a very simple tactic that nevertheless wraps up multiple tech in its execution:

• Agree & amplify
• Pattern interrupts
• Social proof / preselection
• Confusion game

It’s an optimal tactic for women who are skeptical or hostile to you, though you can also use it with girls at any stage with any level of interest.

Let’s have a look at how it works.

When you’re out with girls, other men may try to steal them away. Your mission: to fend such men off without giving up power by looking jealous or needy.

Hey guys. Welcome back.

I intended to conclude my series of posts on giving a girl space and allowing her the opportunity to opt out last week, delving deeper into this concept. However, after finishing the article, I realized there is still more to discuss.

The overall idea is to refrain from acting possessive and locking the woman to you, leaving her few escape routes (through positioning or overt physical moves). It’s better to ensure that she has a way out. This is not because you want her to leave, quite the opposite. When a woman realizes she has a possible escape route, it generates comfort, which makes her more willing to stick around. It makes the interaction less risky for her due to her risk-averse nature (women tend to be more risk-averse than men). The bonus is that she will be more willing to jump into less certain and riskier situations, such as going home with you. This technique conveys attractiveness, non-neediness, and abundance: all attractive and desirable traits.

Last week, I discussed how this fits as a typical rule of pickup and seduction. If you look rationally at it, you intuitively feel the interaction is off and should favor following the rules. What if there is plenty of male competition, and she has attractive guys hitting on her, trying to snatch her out of your arms? Should you still act aloof? Should you make it easy for her to opt out, escape, and go to other men? You do not want that to happen. So, your instinctive urge is to become protective and possessive. You want to block those other men to keep them away. Yet, by doing so, you push her farther away from you by eliciting a desire for her to jump ship. She feels smothered, and you appear less attractive due to your neediness. So, you inadvertently give those men an edge.

So, you follow the rule, giving her space to leave. Often, she will stay. Perhaps it was a test, and you easily passed it, or you appear more attractive to her by acting less needy and especially less so than other guys.

Yet, there is no denying that there will be cases when this is insufficient to keep other men at a distance. Then, what do you do?

This is what I want to cover today.

Women will talk to you in polite or inquisitive but often boring ways. To make it flirtation, you must inject playfulness into your chat with a girl.

Commenting on my article about dumbing yourself down to sleep with smart girls quicker, Jason H asks:

Hi Chase,
Any advice on transitioning conversation to more teasing/flirting in certain scenario's to make the dynamic more fun/seductive
- When she is focused on connection, but you want to inject some more teasing/flirting
- When she is focused on catching up/factual information such as how is this going, how are things at Y etc or other impersonal topics
- In group scenario's where it's more difficult to do this and you want to tease or flirt with a certain girl

Basically asking about identifying cues and opportunities to inject a little more teasing & fun into conversations, or strategies to direct the conversation towards more fun in a socially skilled way.

Thanks!

Sure, let’s talk about this: how do you turn your conversations playful?

Essentially, when you’re dealing with girls who are trying to connect or extract facts out of you, meanwhile you are trying to make it a playful, flirtatious conversation, what you are dealing with is a frame battle. She wants to frame the conversation one way while you want to frame it another.

I want to touch on whether it’s necessary to seize control of the conversation this way – and what can happen if you do vs. if you don’t. Then we’ll talk making your conversations playful.

People often make uncharitable assumptions about each other. But when you do this, and tell the other person, you tear your relationship with him or her to shreds.

A few years back I wrote an article about the trouble autistic men have in dating. In it I also talked about my experience as a coach trying to work with autistic men and how fiendishly difficult it is.

(autistic reader trigger warning: I was very blunt in that article, because in my experience dealing with autistic men this is the only way to communicate effectively. Delicacy leads to large and frustrating misunderstandings. Some autistic readers found that blunt article enlightening; others found it depressing. If you’re sensitive, you’ll likely be better off reading my forum thread on practical tips & success stories from autistic men)

One of the things I mentioned in that article was the frequency with which I have found autistic men make ‘uncharitable assumptions’ in conversations with me. I’ve seen it with so many different autistic men that I assume this is probably a normal behavior for them, which they’re likely doing with other people too.

In fact, I think this behavior alone is probably the cause of a large number of autistic men’s falling outs with people. While it’s a small behavior, it’s really, really aggravating.

Autistic men aren’t the only ones who are guilty of this, either. ADHD men do this often too. Any guy who speaks before he empathizes, really, can be guilty of this.

In this article, I’m going to introduce you to this concept, which I am certainly not the first to identify (indeed, there are proverbs around this going back to antiquity), but I’m going to highlight it in ways you probably haven’t thought about before – and hopefully save you from burning some bridges and melting down some relationships with inadvertent rudeness.

Even as you extract a woman home to your place or hers, you can leave her “outs” – which serve to raise her comfort, thus lowering her resistance.

Hey guys and welcome back.

Recently, I have been talking about the importance of giving a girl space and allowing her to opt out of interactions. This approach helps build trust and reduces her perceived risk. Knowing she can opt out at any moment gives her the freedom to leave if the situation becomes uncomfortable. This sense of security increases her comfort, making her more likely to engage, as she knows she can exit if necessary.

It’s especially beneficial to give a girl ease of opting out when she needs to make a decision with an increased risk perception, like isolating or going home with you.

Today, I’ll cover how this technique can help you during extraction as you leave the venue with her and head to your place.

Note that I mention “your place.” She perceives going to her place as safer because it’s familiar. Your place is new and unknown, and that’s always scarier because of the uncertainty. For this reason, this post will generally focus on getting her back to your place.

By all means, go back to her place if you can. Overall, my experience has been that going to her place is ideal. Aside from practical reasons, such as not having to clean your place beforehand, another advantage is that she automatically relaxes in her own environment, which can cause less resistance.

The question is, why not always go to her place? Note that this poses challenges, too. There may be unfamiliar logistics: she could have roommates, share a place with a guy, live far away, or random people might show up. Those wildcards, although unlikely, can still happen.

The main reason I prefer heading to my place instead is that it usually requires lower compliance to accomplish. Getting a girl to go home with you, whether it’s her place or yours, is a challenging task requiring plenty of compliance. So, you want to opt for the solution requiring the least compliance—taking her back to your place.

You usually need to generate more compliance to take you back to her place than getting her to go to yours. She feels more responsible and guilty about what might happen when she brings you home. She has tacitly agreed to have sex or at least actively has a hand in what is about to happen. When she goes to your place, she is acting more passively.

Remember, women usually prefer taking a passive role due to social conditioning. Slut-shaming and other negative sexual conditioning can make her avoid a sense of guilt regarding what is about to happen. By tagging along with you as you head to your place, usually with an excuse like, “Let’s go back to my place and continue our conversation.” This takes away her guilt. Yes, she realizes why you are inviting her back, but this plausible deniability lets her feel less pressure.

If you’re smart guy, smart girls will love you… as a boyfriend. But what if you want to bed them quick? Well for that, you’ll need to dumb yourself down.

If you’re a smart guy, and you want to hook up with smart girls, here’s a little tip:

Dumb yourself down a bit.

If you’re otherwise cool and sexy, being a bit dumbed down rules you out as a boyfriend candidate.

Smart girls will hook up with you a lot faster when you’re “dumb.”

— Girls Chase 🏃‍♀️💨 (@GirlsChase) November 10, 2024

I had this X post that confused a few guys. One of them asked me to write an article going more in-depth on it. So here that is.

In particular, in this Tactics Tuesdays installment, we are going to look at:

• Why dumbing yourself down with smart girls gets them into bed

• How exactly to dumb yourself down with smart girls to be sexy to them

• What you can do to ‘recover your smartness’ after if you actually want to date them

If you have a penchant for pensive women, read on!

(if smart chicks just ain’t your thing, well, we’ll be back to our regularly scheduled programming tomorrow)

You don’t get respect from other men or submission from women by asking, begging, or pleading for it. You get it by commanding it – PERIOD.

As the enfeebling of Modern Man continues apace, I’m seeing an explosion of angry men all over the place grousing about the same complaints again and again:

• “People need to respect men more!”

• “Women need to learn how to be submissive!”

It’s painful as a man when no one respects you.

It is painful as a man when women refuse you submission.

It is painful, and makes you feel as if you are less than a man.

It’s because you ARE, until you get that fixed: if you are not a man able to command respect from other people and submission from women, you are a lesser man.

But you won’t attain respect + submission by whining, stomping, pouting, or complaining.

If you wish men to respect you and women to submit to you, you must do something else.