(2) Intermediate

Women signal their interest in men often. But there’s some debate: is it worth paying ATTENTION to women’s signs of interest or not? It is… sometimes.

On the forum, I have a thread entitled “Sexually inexperienced men need time and exposure to receptive women to learn to sense and respond to receptive women’s signals.” It references my article that asks why most men can’t see girls’ signs of interest and links up several studies on mice and hamsters that find inexperienced males are bad at reading the signs of receptive female mice and hamsters.

Just like humans, it takes other male mammals time and experience to learn to read signs of receptivity and know how to respond to them.

We’ve had some interesting discussion on that thread, but I want to address a recent comment from user ChrisXKiss. He asks

Chase regarding this, how much does it really translate to results with women?

I always wondered, because even when I seemed to get attention, I would go open and the whole dynamic would change to: Oh so you do like me? Cute, but don’t expect much more.

It felt a bit like there was no point to carefully pay attention to indicators of interest, since they didn’t translate much to results anyway.

It’s probably because after I approach my attention is on the girl, I just want to get to know her and especially if she has given me a sign of interest I do this faster, since I know that the attraction is there anyway. Then I suppose it feels like I am too eager.

Maybe I should change my mindset when noticing signs, because my immediate reaction is: Ok this one likes me, let’s do this. I think they feel I approach them only because I saw the sign and think it will be easy, so they try to make it difficult.

But it’s difficult to even use signs of interest with girls I really like, since I notice them right away, and if I don’t go to approach immediately, it feels like I am waiting around trying to find a chance to talk to them. I think they feel I am interested from the get go, so they don’t give any signs, and the more time I spend not opening the more unattractive I become.

I know I should just not pay attention to them that much if I want them chasing, but it’s difficult when I see hot girls around to not take a look and check them out. I started doing it to overcome the shy barrier of not looking at people and sexualising women, but maybe I should force myself to stop.

So I am wondering what is even the correct way to take notice of them, since being aloof doesn’t really work either. Is it bad to show when you look at them that they really excite you? I think with the hottest ones they just see it in my eyes right at the open or even before.

I guess advice can also be conflicting sometimes, since I know that both your approach and Hector’s work, that said they are different as you mentioned, so sometimes I am wondering whether for example I am not showing my desire in the right way, or I should just not even show it up front, and I go back and forth, with neither really landing.

There’s a lot in there, but if we bullet out his questions/comments, they’d be:

• How much does getting attention from women really translate to results?

• Girls who give him attention, whom he then opens, feel validated then lose interest.

• He fears he may be coming in too eager when he approaches girls.

• Maybe it’s difficult to use signs of interest with girls you really like.

• It’s hard not to check out hot girls when he sees them.

• Being aloof also does not work.

I want to talk about these here (and try to make it concise because I’m a bit short on time at the moment). To do so, we need to differentiate between sincere signs of interest vs. signs of interest solely aimed at gaining male attention and validation.

The indirect approach sometimes gets mischaracterized as “not bold.” But that’s not what it is at all. The truth is, it features numerous key benefits over the more direct approach.

Hey everyone. I hope you are all doing well.

I’ve posted extensively on indirect game. We define this as a game approach when the seducer holds back on showing interest, usually seducing a girl indirectly and covertly, withholding his display of interest until the time is right. He shows interest after she has returned interest. Then, he reflects her level of interest and calibrates accordingly. If the girl shows more interest, so will the guy; if she shows less, that’s what he does. It’s a smooth way to pick up women that provides tremendous control.

If you have followed me over the years, you know that this is my preferred game style. I have shared posts on this subject about how to use this style. See the following for more.

• Indirect Game, Pt 1: Interesting Her, Indirectly

• Indirect Game, Pt 2: Making Her COMPLY with You

• Indirect Game, Pt 3.: Escalating the Vibe

• The Indirect Approach: No Interest, Push-Pull, or Indirect Classic?

I have also discussed indirect game indirectly (pun intended) in other articles. However, there are many factors within indirect game that I still need to cover, including the different aspects of indirect game and how to show interest when using this game style.

So, today, I will discuss the reasons why I prefer it.

Keep reading. You may learn a thing or two about indirect game.

If you’re an attractive or sexy man, Plain Janes can be tough. Try your normal approach on them and they get RUDE! Instead, use the “light touch.”

I had a conversation recently where I heard this story:

[A few years back] I went out with my college buddy and his girlfriend’s friend group and there was a girl in there who was a VERY GENEROUS 7. The other better looking ones were taken. They tried to set me up when we all went out and she made sure to make a public spectacle of voicing she was very NOT interested and shot me down. Absolutely infuriating dude because you and I both know what was going on there, but to a super unaware seducer like my buddy (just your typical goes all in on a girl who shows him any attention at all type, he’s married to that girl now) it looks like you’re an unattractive slob because a mid 7 shoots you down so hard.

The guy telling this story is a good-looking dude with solid game who shags hot girls off of dating apps on the regular. He not infrequently has girls tell him he is “very handsome” or “could be a model.” He also has a solid sense of humor. He is not some doddering Quasimodo.

Nevertheless, some years back this borderline cute girl shot him down publicly in front of his friends and made him look like an unsexy loser.

At the time, he didn’t understand why – and as she and he were the only single people in the group, it made for a very awkward outing with friends. Coupled with the dry spell he’d been on at the time, and the drinking he ended up doing that evening, he told me he “hit rock bottom” later that night.

The “vicious average girl who nastily shoots you down” phenomenon is not reserved for men with male-model looks though. It’s something I’ve experienced plenty of times, and have talked with other guys about them having experienced too.

Believe it or not, there’s a reliable solution to it that makes it so these girls stop treating you in such a rude way – but you have to understand the psychology behind why they do it, first.

There’s more than one way to use the indirect approach with women. Whether to opt for “no interest”, “push-pull”, or classic indirect, the choice is yours.

Hey, I hope you are all doing great.

Today, I’ll discuss different indirect game styles.

The goal of indirect game is to withhold showing interest in a woman, keeping it your level of desire for her a mystery to her. The idea is to wait to fully reveal your card (yet) to keep her intrigued and wondering whether or not you genuinely like her. You only show interest once she has shown interest in you, keeping her on her toes.

Whether or not you are an indirect or direct style type of guy, this and my future articles should interest you. Having an open mind and trying out all game styles is wise. You never know when you will find another game type that suits you better. The truth in pickup and seduction is that although there may be some material out there that can be considered inferior, most material is not, and sometimes, it is all a matter of tradeoffs. All methods offer pros and cons and provide benefits but at a cost.

The question is, what cost are you willing to pay for the benefit? This may differ from man to man. Guys who dislike one game type are usually less knowledgeable and need to fully grasp the method they dislike. So, gain all the knowledge you can, experiment, and then decide.

Tired of wet fish kisses from girls? With the “10 seconds to live” make-out gambit, you can get girls locking lips with you like it’s their final breath.

This post by Mr.Rob originally appeared on our forum here.

Sit across from a girl on a date and trying to touch her feels weird. Sit next to her and touch is easy but eye contact gets tough. Here’s WHERE to sit.

Hi guys. I hope you are all doing great.

Today, I would like to discuss a relevant topic when you are on a first date with a girl: whether you should sit next to or across from a girl on a date.

I have yet to hear discussion on this topic. I believe that many men have asked themselves this question. This post can benefit beginners as well as experienced guys.

Beginners may not know how to position themselves during dates. It may seem minor, but even the little things can make a huge difference, especially for beginners. Pros can usually damage control or make up for mistakes, while beginners often cannot.

The bottom line is that everyone will benefit from this.

Cafés & coffee shops can be good spots to pick up girls in – but spam approaches + direct don’t work. To pick up girls HERE, you need a bit of STRATEGY!

I have spent quite a bit of time in cafés and coffee shops over the years. That happens when you run an Internet business and do not have a traditional office-building office.

The right coffee shop/café is great for meeting attractive, cool girls at – but you need to know what you’re doing.

I have seen guys fumbling around trying to be very direct with girls in coffee shops. This only makes things awkward. I have also seen a lot of guys who fall for a barista and get focused on trying to ask out their favorite coffee brewer; they see her every time and gradually fall in love with her and get oneitis.

This guide is not on any of that stuff. This is not a “how to do tons of volume hitting on women in coffee shops” guide. Nor is this a guide to “how to pick up your favorite barista” (if you’re looking for something like that, check out my guide to picking up waitresses).

Instead, this is a guide on how to pick up girls in coffee shops and cafés strategically while you are in these places – so you are operating within the ‘rules’ of the venues while not missing out on interested & available girls.