(2) Intermediate

Most guys work hard to show women how interested they are. So why would you want to show a girl DISinterest? Just one reason: to raise HER interest in YOU!

Hey guys and welcome back. I hope you are all doing well.

Last week, I discussed showing interest by using indirect game to attract women.

A common misconception with indirect game is that you are overly aloof without showing any interest, relying on displaying disinterest. Although there is some truth to this, most go-to formulas of indirect game involve showing interest—sooner rather than later.

You should eventually escalate the vibe, creating an “us” frame. This is a “you and me together” vibe, adding a romantic and sexual layer to the interaction. For more, see my article from last week, which discusses ways to show interest.

Showing interest also helps avoid unnecessary auto-rejections. You do not want a girl to prematurely eject herself from the interaction to safeguard her ego. By showing some interest, you keep her in the loop, giving her a sign of hope that she has a shot at getting you.

Today, I will cover when to show disinterest—an essential indirect game factor. You will learn to show disinterest in ways to maintain her curiosity in you by:

• Showing disinterest in a way that does not de-escalate the vibe

• Showing disinterest without causing auto-rejection

Next week, I will go through the different ways to show disinterest.

If you look good as a guy but women still don’t signal you to approach, what gives? In fact, there’s more that goes into women signaling than a man’s looks.

Commenting on my article “Should You Even Respond to Women's Signs of Interest?”, Sami-88 asked about why, despite his excellent fashion and attraction fundamentals, and warm receptions from all kinds of women, he doesn’t get much in the way of pre-approach signals from attractive women.

I responded that if (as seems to be the case for Sami) you’re getting midrange girls signaling you but not hotter girls, but all girls (including hotter girls) are still warm to you on approach, there are a few possible reasons that can be.

He followed up with the following comment:

Chase,

Thank you for your sophisticated answer. My look is that of the mysterious strong silent guy - the exact opposite of “goofy”.

It must be that hotter girls signal in a much more indirect way, like you write in your other article, and expect from a masculine guy to take all the initiative irrespectively of their signaling.

Food for thought for another article of yours: could there be a correlation between women’s signaling and the man’s perceived attainability?

Sweet, attainable guys might get heavy signaling more than “strong, silent” guys because women expect the latter to do the job without any help.

Yes, it is true – unintimidating men get much more signaling and even approach behavior from women. This relates to the lover vs. fighter distinction: do you come across as someone trying to attract (the lover) or someone trying to look tough (the fighter)?

That said, it also goes beyond this distinction, too – into where a man places his focus and whether he meets the ‘conditions’ for triggering approach invitations and female approaches.

Showing interest in girls directly is easy: “You’re so sexy. You’re hot.” But what if you need to be subtler? Then you must show interest INDIRECTLY.

Hi guys and welcome back.

I have recently been writing about the indirect approach, discussing indirect approach benefits and indirect approach styles. Today, I want to cover how to show interest in women using indirect game.

How do you show interest indirectly? This can be confusing:

1. If indirect game is about not revealing your cards, how does that mesh with the necessity of showing interest in a girl?

2. When should you show interest?

3. How should you show disinterest? And when?

4. Will a girl know I am interested in her if I hold back my interest in her? Or should I only show it subtly?

5. Will I appear weak or unconfident by hiding my interest when she has good reasons to suspect I like her? Would it be preferable to “spill the beans” and be direct and confident?

Even if you have answers to some of these, you may only know some of the answers. The answers to these questions can be subtle.

I will tackle questions one and two today and, in the following weeks, move on to the others.

In my last two posts, I briefly mentioned showing interest when using indirect game. Today, I talk about this in more depth.

Let’s jump into it.

Can you just approach a girl in a low energy, monotone way? Nope. You want to aim to come in energetic, outgoing, adventurous, playful, and fun.

One of the least-discussed but most important aspects of approaching girls is energy level. When guys come in timid, nervous, hesitant, monotone, shy, or bored, they usually flop. This is something you are VERY aware of as a practiced seducer, yet very few men realize starting out.

The other day, a forum member posted this video on our forum, along with the comment, “This guy is quite Chad-like; tall, buff, and handsome. Kinda debunks the BP [black pill] theory of ‘all girls wanna bang Chad’.”

He asked where this guy got his approach wrong. I gave a quick breakdown (props to him for trying and posting his videos; yet this guy still has lots of room for improvement) here. Some of the worst are his opening angles and his liberal use of neo-direct.

However, the absolute biggest thing he is fudging is in his vibe: his voice is monotone, his openers are generic and un-grabbing, his body language is defensive, and (as Will_V pointed out in that thread) he leaves loads of awkward pauses in his conversation.

He comes across unconfident and low energy in his approach, and it’s reflected in how women receive him.

Women signal their interest in men often. But there’s some debate: is it worth paying ATTENTION to women’s signs of interest or not? It is… sometimes.

On the forum, I have a thread entitled “Sexually inexperienced men need time and exposure to receptive women to learn to sense and respond to receptive women’s signals.” It references my article that asks why most men can’t see girls’ signs of interest and links up several studies on mice and hamsters that find inexperienced males are bad at reading the signs of receptive female mice and hamsters.

Just like humans, it takes other male mammals time and experience to learn to read signs of receptivity and know how to respond to them.

We’ve had some interesting discussion on that thread, but I want to address a recent comment from user ChrisXKiss. He asks

Chase regarding this, how much does it really translate to results with women?

I always wondered, because even when I seemed to get attention, I would go open and the whole dynamic would change to: Oh so you do like me? Cute, but don’t expect much more.

It felt a bit like there was no point to carefully pay attention to indicators of interest, since they didn’t translate much to results anyway.

It’s probably because after I approach my attention is on the girl, I just want to get to know her and especially if she has given me a sign of interest I do this faster, since I know that the attraction is there anyway. Then I suppose it feels like I am too eager.

Maybe I should change my mindset when noticing signs, because my immediate reaction is: Ok this one likes me, let’s do this. I think they feel I approach them only because I saw the sign and think it will be easy, so they try to make it difficult.

But it’s difficult to even use signs of interest with girls I really like, since I notice them right away, and if I don’t go to approach immediately, it feels like I am waiting around trying to find a chance to talk to them. I think they feel I am interested from the get go, so they don’t give any signs, and the more time I spend not opening the more unattractive I become.

I know I should just not pay attention to them that much if I want them chasing, but it’s difficult when I see hot girls around to not take a look and check them out. I started doing it to overcome the shy barrier of not looking at people and sexualising women, but maybe I should force myself to stop.

So I am wondering what is even the correct way to take notice of them, since being aloof doesn’t really work either. Is it bad to show when you look at them that they really excite you? I think with the hottest ones they just see it in my eyes right at the open or even before.

I guess advice can also be conflicting sometimes, since I know that both your approach and Hector’s work, that said they are different as you mentioned, so sometimes I am wondering whether for example I am not showing my desire in the right way, or I should just not even show it up front, and I go back and forth, with neither really landing.

There’s a lot in there, but if we bullet out his questions/comments, they’d be:

• How much does getting attention from women really translate to results?

• Girls who give him attention, whom he then opens, feel validated then lose interest.

• He fears he may be coming in too eager when he approaches girls.

• Maybe it’s difficult to use signs of interest with girls you really like.

• It’s hard not to check out hot girls when he sees them.

• Being aloof also does not work.

I want to talk about these here (and try to make it concise because I’m a bit short on time at the moment). To do so, we need to differentiate between sincere signs of interest vs. signs of interest solely aimed at gaining male attention and validation.

The indirect approach sometimes gets mischaracterized as “not bold.” But that’s not what it is at all. The truth is, it features numerous key benefits over the more direct approach.

Hey everyone. I hope you are all doing well.

I’ve posted extensively on indirect game. We define this as a game approach when the seducer holds back on showing interest, usually seducing a girl indirectly and covertly, withholding his display of interest until the time is right. He shows interest after she has returned interest. Then, he reflects her level of interest and calibrates accordingly. If the girl shows more interest, so will the guy; if she shows less, that’s what he does. It’s a smooth way to pick up women that provides tremendous control.

If you have followed me over the years, you know that this is my preferred game style. I have shared posts on this subject about how to use this style. See the following for more.

• Indirect Game, Pt 1: Interesting Her, Indirectly

• Indirect Game, Pt 2: Making Her COMPLY with You

• Indirect Game, Pt 3.: Escalating the Vibe

• The Indirect Approach: No Interest, Push-Pull, or Indirect Classic?

I have also discussed indirect game indirectly (pun intended) in other articles. However, there are many factors within indirect game that I still need to cover, including the different aspects of indirect game and how to show interest when using this game style.

So, today, I will discuss the reasons why I prefer it.

Keep reading. You may learn a thing or two about indirect game.

If you’re an attractive or sexy man, Plain Janes can be tough. Try your normal approach on them and they get RUDE! Instead, use the “light touch.”

I had a conversation recently where I heard this story:

[A few years back] I went out with my college buddy and his girlfriend’s friend group and there was a girl in there who was a VERY GENEROUS 7. The other better looking ones were taken. They tried to set me up when we all went out and she made sure to make a public spectacle of voicing she was very NOT interested and shot me down. Absolutely infuriating dude because you and I both know what was going on there, but to a super unaware seducer like my buddy (just your typical goes all in on a girl who shows him any attention at all type, he’s married to that girl now) it looks like you’re an unattractive slob because a mid 7 shoots you down so hard.

The guy telling this story is a good-looking dude with solid game who shags hot girls off of dating apps on the regular. He not infrequently has girls tell him he is “very handsome” or “could be a model.” He also has a solid sense of humor. He is not some doddering Quasimodo.

Nevertheless, some years back this borderline cute girl shot him down publicly in front of his friends and made him look like an unsexy loser.

At the time, he didn’t understand why – and as she and he were the only single people in the group, it made for a very awkward outing with friends. Coupled with the dry spell he’d been on at the time, and the drinking he ended up doing that evening, he told me he “hit rock bottom” later that night.

The “vicious average girl who nastily shoots you down” phenomenon is not reserved for men with male-model looks though. It’s something I’ve experienced plenty of times, and have talked with other guys about them having experienced too.

Believe it or not, there’s a reliable solution to it that makes it so these girls stop treating you in such a rude way – but you have to understand the psychology behind why they do it, first.