Insights from the Mind of a Seducer | Girls Chase

Insights from the Mind of a Seducer

We Are Not Having Sex Tonight: What Happens When You Don’t

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

We've been seeing more comments from readers lately asking about situations like what Mike ran into the other day as remarked on the "How to Steal a Girl" article:

“Hey Chase,

I am 19 and I really appreciate all the insightful information you've made available for guys like me to read who aren't all that experienced.

I have a situation where I've been talking with a girl for a few months, and I finally got to see her for the first time two weekends ago(we live a state apart from each other) after texting, talking on the phone and FaceTiming daily before that.

She had been giving me slight hints that she liked me by little mannerisms and things that were made aware to me by reading your posts. Also, I flew up to see her and she dropped $250 on the hotel and drove me around all weekend, so I got her to invest. The first night I had a plan to have sex with her, and followed your suggestions that you had laid out to the tee.

The night started off great and I could tell she was into me so physical escalation was simple, but after quite a bit of foreplay I made a rookie mistake and left my condoms out of reach. And when I tried to make the move to get them, it took her out of seduction mode and allowed her to think, reminding herself about the internal moral belief she had told me previously about not having sex with guys she's not in a relationship with; therefore killing the vibe for the night.

This was on a Friday night and we spent the rest of the weekend hanging out since we made a special occasion due to the long distance situation. Nothing happened sexually on Saturday or Sunday and she was acting aloof and uninterested on Sunday so I could tell something was up.

I left for home unsure of what was on her mind and now, over a week later, in the time that has passed she has been short texting me with nearly zero emotion or ignoring my texts altogether. In addition, she turned down my offer to facetime, which she has never done before. So it is obvious that something is up, but when I resorted to going "alpha-male" and looking for a response she said she's "been busy?" and didn't respond to my next text asking about it.

Is this a sign of auto-rejection? Or is she testing me with the mixed signals BS? I am really in my head, beating myself up about things I may have done wrong because I know she likes me, but I'm not sure how things could have gone sour so quickly. I thought I had her chasing me and I know she was into me but now I'm afraid I'm getting close to chasing her. Once again, I'm really thankful for all the work you do. I'm aware that this is a lot and my situation is a unique one. I would greatly appreciate any advice and feedback you have for my situation!!

Thank you for your time,

Mike”

not having sex

That is to say, situations where the guy takes things right up to the point of sex with a new girl... only for it to fall flat; she says 'no', and he walks away, figuring he can always try again later.

Except, after that single failure, there's almost never a "later."

Why do women vanish after you come right to the brink but don't go over - what's the psychology behind this, and what are the options you have to do anything about it?

Last Minute Resistance from Sexy Women: Treating It and Beating It

Alek Rolstad's picture

By: Alek Rolstad

last minute resistanceLast month I shared a report that doubled as a how-to on getting threesomes ("Threesome How-To: Step-by-Step to Get Two Girls") that was a big hit, in which I covered one of my real-life interactions leading to a threesome. What people really liked about it were all the details and the analysis following the tips given in the report. Written this way, the report served as a guide to doing what I do with sex talk and getting threesomes.

I’d therefore like to keep up with the concept of combining reports and how-tos, but I will cover different elements in each of these so as not be repetitive. Today we will mostly cover:

  • Logistics (more interesting than you would expect)
  • Physical escalation (you will love the parts on escalation)
  • And how to handle last minute resistance (LMR)

The point of including this in a report is to show you not just how to deal with last minute resistance, but also how to avoid it entirely, since this resistance is most often a case of you either not screening properly or not handling things properly, although sometimes you really cannot handle things perfectly due to the circumstances you meet a girl in.

My plan with my writing will often be focused about sharing material, but also sharing material within a context. This way I believe it gives you, the reader, a broader perspective about how to use the material in real life situations, and more properly shows and tells how it all works together.

Brain Hacks: Meditation for the Stressed and Busy

Peter Fontes's picture

By: Peter Fontes

Meditation: you’ve probably heard a bit about it.

It’s a mind-bendingly powerful activity, with benefits of stress reduction, clarity of vision and focus, and even increased (sometimes dramatically so) levels of happiness. It’s key to successful visualization, and once you’re good at it you gain a degree of conscious control over your thoughts and feelings that all but eradicates things like depression and anxiety.

But if you’re anything like me before I learned something of meditation, the wall of information greeting you at your first foray into the topic is a major obstacle to getting started.

meditation

I would ask myself, “What should I learn about? What meditations are best? What do I gain by the different types?” And so on and so forth... and, unable to accurately answer these questions buffeted about as I was by tidal waves of information in the meditation how-to sea, I’d end up not really getting much of anywhere with it.

It wasn’t till I met a man who simplified the process, directed me towards some Western literature on the topic and taught me of the most important facet of meditation, that I felt I knew where to go with my own meditation.

I’m going to pass that direction onto you today.

Now, what this article won’t do is lead you to nirvana-like enlightenment. It won’t lead you to an understanding of the different schools of meditation, their history and chief aims. Those are things you can explore yourself if interested as you get deeper in.

Rather, this article will equip you with enough knowledge to stimulate that most important facet of meditation, the “relaxation response”, which you can access immediately upon meditating.

Understanding how to elicit the “relaxation response” in yourself has all kind of benefits, from better health to a better ability able to get yourself prepped emotionally in ways that’ll help you get women... and we’ll go into all of these below.

How to Have Sex with Brazilian Women

Colt Williams's picture

By: Colt Williams

brazilian womenBrazilian women are some of the most beautiful, fit, passionate and insanely sexy women you could ever encounter.

Every man has a secret fantasy about a sleeping with a Brazileira. Their tan skin, their exotic accents, their perfect beach bodies… how could you not fantasize? But today, I’m going to show you how to turn that fantasy into reality.

Brazilian girls aren’t easy, but they are chill, and love sex. So if you’re willing to put in a bit of work, you’ll get a whole bucket load of reward.

Since I spend a lot of my time visiting the world’s most beautiful locations, this post will be my first installment of periodic articles on seducing the women of this wonderful world; outlining what they are actually like, and giving you an inside look on what to expect.

Now, onto Brazilian women…

How to Steal a Girl from Under Her Boyfriend’s Nose

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

Going to take a dip into a moral gray area today, but will talk a bit about "karma" as I do so, too. And not the spiritual sort - that's neither here nor there, as far as I'm concerned. I'm far more interested in the practical variety.

Anyway, we've had some discussion lately about snagging girls from directly under their boyfriends' noses - one of our forum members who's been racking up a number of new girls in bed lately, NarrowJ, shared a recent report about taking a girl to bed in the house she stayed in with her (rather controlling and abusive) boyfriend, and a reader named Aaron recently wrote in with this question:

“Hi Chase and friends at girlschase,

I was thinking an article on how to deal with the boyfriend himself in social situations would be great for an article, and would build on the shoulders of Chase's earlier article: "Girl Has a Boyfriend? 3 Things to Do, and 7 Things NOT to."

Imagine the following scenario: You know this girl from work or school. You like her. She likes you. You flirt with each other. The only problem? She has a long term boyfriend. Or alternatively, you meet a girl who has brought her boyfriend with her at a party.

Either way, a social situation arises in which she presents her boyfriend to you (for example at a party to test you, or out pure coincidence).

How do you handle the boyfriend? How do you demonstrate that you are a more dominant, superior, better man, and that she would be better off with you?

Hope you consider this!

Aaron"”

how to steal a girl

Is this possible to do? Sure. Is it something you can consistently pull off? ... well, let's just say take whatever your normal consistency is at picking up, and reduce that a fair bit because now you're trying to outcompete the girl's boyfriend; however, if you can pull this off with a girl who wants you to steal her from her man (we'll talk about these girls and why they want this in a bit), in this case you can actually achieve a higher degree of consistency at pulling... assuming you handle logistics properly.

But before we discuss doing this, let's talk a little about the scenario itself, and any potential moral implications... because I don't get my kicks making good people sob, and I hope you don't either.

It's Not Your Investment in Her; It's Hers in You

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

One of those reminders it's good to have every now and again.

Men who fall prey to white knighting or taking up residence in women's friend zones do so under the sway of the mental model of "do for others, and they will do for you."

Good model for some things... but NOT for attraction.

Doing for others up front does not attract you:

  • Friends
  • Business partners
  • Paying customers
  • Fans of your art

... and it doesn't land you women.

her investment

In fact, when people see you doing stuff for them for free, unsolicited, or uncompensated, their thought is never, "Wow, what a great guy! I should repay him in spades!" but rather, "Oh, that's nice - it's nice having nice people around like this who give me stuff. Thanks, nice person!"

But this doesn't just apply to pushover white knights.

You'll see even men who are normally good with women slip into doing this from time to time - they start overinvesting themselves, trying to win a girl over (or win her back) by doing more and more and more for her.

Investment's relationship with attraction is a bit more nuanced than these men doing these things might realize, however. And more investment from you does not necessarily (or even usually) mean more attraction from her.

3 Techniques for Changing Your Vibe with Women

Richard Wendell's picture

By: Richard Wendell

I’ve been getting fairly a large number of PMs of late over on the forum side of things here on GC asking about vibe, so here I am in this article to (properly) tackle the beast!

So what is vibe, anyway?

vibe

Chase and the amazing writers of Girls Chase have a number of fantastic articles on vibe already, and I recommend you check these out before giving this piece a read:

The difference between those pieces and this piece is that the articles above are zeroed in on specific vibes, rather than how to learn and develop a vibe overall in the very first place... and if they don’t answer questions you have about getting vibe down, then keep reading, as I shed some light on the matter of building your vibe.

How to Answer “What Do You Do?”, No Matter What You Do

Peter Fontes's picture

By: Peter Fontes

what do you do‘What do you do?’

Think about how many times you’ve been asked this question in one form or another...

It’s a whole lot, isn’t it?

Behind being asked your name, this is probably the most common question you hear.

Despite its frequency though, a great many people still don’t deal with this question well.

In fact, I commonly see people stumble and answer awkwardly or give such a rote/boring answer that it gives the other conversation participant nothing to move forward with.

... though, how you address this one little question can have large implications for the way people perceive you, positively or negatively, particularly in the early stages of an interaction.

What we’ll discuss here today is how to use ‘What do you do?’ to your advantage, so that you can leverage your answer to this question as a positive source of interest, intrigue, and conversation... in any interaction.

Emotional Association: You Need This with the Women in Your Life

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

There's a very powerful factor in both courtship and relationships that has an outsized influence on how "with you" a girl really is... or isn't.

emotional association

It's something that makes all the difference in the world between her brushing off and deflecting interlopers who come in to try to make you and her break circle when the two of you have just met, or her indifferently engaging in conversation with whomever she finds herself talking to next, with little a care or concern about re-engaging with you.

And it makes a huge, obscene amount of difference in how much of her time a romantic partner of yours is going to spend thinking about you, doing nice little things for you even when you haven't asked her to, and going out of her way for you... and it even makes a very large difference in how much respect she has for you in your relationship, how personally insulting or not she is during arguments, and even how likely she is to cheat on you.

This one single factor is something called "emotional association", and it's a factor that you want to get going for you whenever and wherever possible.

How to Get Turned On and Beat Performance Anxiety with New Girls

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

In my previous article here, "You Really Should be Having Sex", about the importance of closing things out with women regularly, Wes comments:

“Those ARE reasons enough for me to sleep with a girl who isn't completely amazing but still, HOW do you get turned on by these girls?

Back in June, I had two girls over on separate occasions. Both weren't amazing and I was doing it for the practice. The first girl, I couldn't even "get it up" and i fingered her until she was done and didn't want to go on anymore.

The second girl, I made out with at a pool party and quickly led it to her coming over. I wasn't attracted to her body at all. The only thing pretty was her face and she had nice hair and I couldn't see myself ripping her clothes off and having sex.

I ended up making an excuse for why she needed to leave instead of trying to escalate.

Don't get me wrong, I was telling myself the things you said above but, that doesn't get me hard.

I didn't want to be rude and tell the girls that they need to turn me on. They'd probably get offended. "So you're saying I don't turn you on?! You think I'm ugly?!"

During your years of taking women to bed who were anything but amazing, what personal tricks did you use to "get it up"?”

performance anxiety

That's a very good question, and one I want to handle in a post targeting two dual and related reasons that men have for not finishing the last half-mile of the marathon and moving from physical escalation to full-on intercourse:

  1. Not being turned on, and

  2. Performance anxiety kicking in

Let's talk about both.